I'm with a heavy drug user?

[agent1607307371]

It's not a dangerous drug unless you over dose or do it frequently.

 

I hate to break it to you, but that's true of every drug. There are people out there who even manage to do heroin casually.

 

And your boyfriend does not look cute. He looks like a crack head.

 

You're explaining away and getting defensive, but you wouldn't have started this thread in the first place if you weren't worried.

 

 

In all seriousness, Avman is incredibly wise and has a lot of experience with this. Think about what he's posted.

[avman]

Yes I've done Molly. So what. It's not a dangerous drug unless you over dose or do it frequently

 

Sorry but that's not true. What is passing for Molly on the street today is synthetic crap made in backstreet labs in China. You have no idea what's in them anymore. Yeah sure people TELL you it's so pure and it's just straight MDMA and nothing could possibly go wrong. But now we're starting to see deaths from people who thought they were using Molly and ended up with some strange chemical cocktail in their system that overloaded it and they died. They never even saw it coming. Same with K2, Spice, and all the other synthetics. They get made or sprayed with one weird chemical and then someone combines it with alcohol when they take it and poof - overdose.

 

I'm not sure why you think we are being so mean. The very title of your post is "I'm with a heavy drug user". And well, we happen to agree that you are. I didn't say he was a bad person. I said he was a sick person. That's a big difference. And I'm trying to help you not become a sick person too.

[lerenard]

You are young and immature, you have no idea what are you getting yourself into. I was in a relationship with my ex for 3 years, and it all started when I was young just like you. He did weed almost everyday, then started to do lsd, shrooms and all of it mixed together, then some other drugs. He almost killed me twice. All the pain and all the lies this relationship brought me, if only somebody would smack me in the face back then, and tell me to take my pink glasses off. It would save me 3 years of abuse, and 3 more years of recovery. And believe me he was just as cute and nice and treated me like a princess for... 4 months? 5 months maybe? Then it all just goes down. Sooner or later. Drug addicts are unstable.

 

Wake up, you are just a child, and he is a grown man that IS like that. He will never change for you or for anybody. He will try to change YOU for him, and one day you will try everything he takes and still be telling this "it is not dangerous" lie to yourself.

I bet when you were younger you though you would never try ANY drugs. Now it has a word "again" right there.

A person that takes drugs to be fine on a day to day basis is not healthy and not safe to be around.

[amipushy]

Stay with him if you want but please use contraception. In the years to come when you wise up to how this guy has used you, robbed from you, taken all your money and are sick of his addiction and the stress of not being able to trust him or anything he does or says, you will be glad that you didnt have children with him and are able to walk away and find someone who loves you more than drugs.

[Fudgie]

Molly is actually very dangerous. I work in a hospital and I see bad effects in people who've just done it once. Once!

 

You're with a heavy drug user. He's poisoning your life. Open your eyes here.

 

Whatever you do, please don't have children with this man. Please.

 

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[lavenderdove]

>>And keeps what's important in check. Which is me, and work right now.

 

The fact that he has been recently asked to do a random drug check probably isn't so random. his supervisors/other people probably notice changes in him or his performance that might indicate drugs, and he will probably be asked to take drug tests more frequently if this continues, and eventually he will fail one and get fired.

 

And keeping you in check? He's procuring drugs for you (the molly)! Nobody who really loved you would buy drugs and introduce you to them.

 

Illegal street drugs are extremely dangerous because you have absolutely no clue what is really in them. And they are concocted by back street chemists where the contamination and drug combinations have the potential not only to overdose you and kill you, but do permanent brain or liver/kidney/heart damage. There have been many cases where a chemist goes wrong and the drug hits the street, and either kills or permanently impairs/injures the person from a single dose. there is ZERO monitoring of the quality and content of illegally manufactured drugs, so don't kid yourself that it is 'safe.' You wouldn't drink Drano or anti-freeze, but the street drugs you take are honestly Russian roulette which is the equivalent of doing the same thing.

 

Nobody here is being mean, they are being honest. If you really love your BF, then you will take a zero tolerance policy towards drugs, and tell him if he doesn't stop and get off them entirely, you are going to leave because you do not want to be with someone who uses illegal drugs and is destroying his health and life with them.

[amipushy]

If you really love your BF, then you will take a zero tolerance policy towards drugs, and tell him if he doesn't stop and get off them entirely, you are going to leave because you do not want to be with someone who uses illegal drugs and is destroying his health and life with them.

 

I agree. If you want to know exactly how much you mean to him and how much more drugs mean to him then tell him that. Then watch the lies begin.

[doglover95]

The Molly we do is tested with a testing kit right in front of me, so duh durrr I know what I'm taking. I'm only defending this so much because I'm such a healthy person (not eating wise lol) but in every other aspect yes. I get it's not 100% safe, but it's much better knowing a little more than knowing nothing! But really, I swear I'm not going to do any other drugs, I said I wasn't going to get into it but I have throat problems and freak out when water gets up my nose, so anything up my nose is out, deathly afraid of neetles, and I can't inhale smoke because it hurts..so that really throws pretty much everything out..sooooo just like nooooo, If I wanted to I so would have done it already. Anyways ... I am defending him yes, but only because what you all are saying or thinking who he is, isn't right. I don't remember who said it but someone said "if he takes drugs to be fine that's not healthy" that's like what he's doing he does it to wake up so he can be alert and focused at work. I just want him to quit because I care about him so much, and I believe he can do it. He seems to be really into me, I'm going to talk to him. Like he does so much for me? I'm broke as a mf.....and in debt. We don't need to get into that. But he takes care of me. I do agree with you when you guys say he has to be the one to want to quit. I'm just going to tell him how I feel! Like he's a great person, this is more of a thing that just bothers me and some things that happen.

[doglover95]

This is just one of the many messages he' has sent me, this is when I freaked out over dumb . U guys really will think I'm immature if I told you.

 

"Emily, you're honestly the most attractive person my eyes have ever seen. Your beauty truly is out of this world. I thought I knew what "gorgeous" was from magazines and edited pictures, but I found out what gorgeous really meant when I first bent over to look at you inside your car and tell you where to park on our first time meeting. Everytime after that you still seemed to shock me with beauty and even to this day, even with photos, your beauty is just unbelievable. God's masterpiece wasn't the mountains you see now. Wasn't a sunrise coming up over the ocean or setting at the Grand Canyon. To me his masterpiece was you. Your eyes always seem to captivate me in such a way I feel at peace for once. It's amazing just how precious you really are and I would do anything to protect you....never hurt you. My apology to you is very sincere and I wish I could hold you and kiss you to let you know just how sincere it is. But I can't right now, but soon I will be able to and you will know that the one I desire, really is you....every part of you.....in every way."

 

I just don't understand, no one has ever talked to me like this and have me actually believe it.

[doglover95]

But really I do thank all of you, you guys have great points and make me think a lot. So don't think I'm not taking into account what you all are saying.

[lavenderdove]

>>The Molly we do is tested with a testing kit right in front of me,

 

so he does enough drugs he keeps 'kits' around to supposedly test them? Are you sure he isn't also a drug dealer on the side?

 

And re: the kits, there is no such thing as a kit that can test the purity and contents of everything that is in a particular drug, unless you have a full pharmacology lab at your disposal with machines that run in the hundreds of thousands of dollars (such as those at police crime labs) to be able to tell the exact contents of a drug and identify all components, as well as the potential interactions between the components that might make them deadly or harmful.

 

So don't let any hokey little 'kits' also constructed by illegal chemists give you a false sense of confidence as to the contents of the drug you are taking. It might ID the presence of MDMA, but not the percentage or content of other additives or contaminants present in the drug. You absolutely cannot ascertain all the ingredients without a fully equipped pharmacology/forensics lab.

[lavenderdove]

btw, re: his romantic email. I've seen people on hallucinigens crawling on their hands and knees saying they see God in a flower or raindrop. The exact kind of over the top verbage about beauty and peace and love your BF wrote to you. Sounds totally like someone stoned on some kind of drug, and not any great or everlasting love.

 

He could be crawling in the dirt next week and saying the same thing about a grasshopper he encounters if he is high enough.

[doglover95]

Yes I kno that. It does however give you an idea of how much of it is MDMA. It's not gonna be 100% MDMA, it's too potent...it has to be cut with something. I'm aware. But I mean, it will be okay. But no, his friend has a testing kit and he gets it from the maker...so it's not passed around.

[Fudgie]

First of all, Molly is dangerous whether it's tainted or not. I have seen so many 18/19 year olds, male and female, in the hospital because of Molly. It actually causes permanent changes in your brain to certain receptors which can actually affect your mood for the rest of your life. It can also make you seize. Bad stuff. Nothing you're going to say will make me or anyone who knows about health feel differently. Truly, I think if someone wants to use drugs and be safe, stay the heck alway from Molly.

 

Also, i understand that he flatters you a lot. However, I want you look at his message again. He I very focused on your looks. Not your brain, not you character. A man who truly loves you will love you inside and out. He I very flattering and I'm sure he is because you eat it all up but there are many great men out there will love you for you, inside too.

[doglover95]

Ugh noooo he actually means it like you guys don't understand I may be beautiful but like every guy I've dated has been horrible. Like this is a fixable problem. I know I won't find someone. Not for a long ass time and I don't have the time to be lonely.

[Fudgie]

At your age, most guys are going to be losers. I get it, I've been there. I'm just saying, why do you feel such an urgency to settle down with a drug addict? Do you really feel that you are worth so little you'll never find someone else?

[doglover95]

That's what I was thinking to. He does say more about the way I look than other things...I've seen his ex I mean she's pretty-ish. But he says I'm the best looking girl he's ever seen. And believe me that has crossed my mind as to why he puts up with a lot of my I give him. But he says he thinks I'm funny, weird, and we just laugh together since I talk about nipples and cats all the time. Lmao no I'm not on drugs I'm just weird as hell.

[doglover95]

He may be using drugs, but that doesn't take away from the kind of person he is, the way he treats me, or how he cares about me.

[Cheetarah]

You are 18 years old, talking like you're 87 and waiting for your last chance at love.

 

This is not fixable in the way that you think it is. The sort of 'fixing' this requires has 1). Nothing to do with you, 2). A lot of time, 3). Probably some falls off the bandwagon, 4). A serious dedication on his part to change his lifestyle, 5). Probably some more falls off the bandwagon.

 

You have to understand as well, that who he is now may not even be close to the man that he is in withdrawal, in recovery and sober.

[lavenderdove]

The only way to try to 'fix' this is tell him that you don't want to be with a guy who does drugs. And you don't want to do them either. and that he needs to quit, and right now, or you'll walk. Because that is the exact position you'll end up being in anyway as his drug use worsens, as it inevitably will if he doesn't stop entirely and is doing coke and meth etc.

 

If you really do love him, then you will draw that line not only for yourself but also for him, to stop him from doing himself serious and irreversible damage. If you don't draw that line (and stick to it so he knows you're serious about it), you're basically saying that the attention and flattery you get from him is more important to you than his health and well being, i.e., you'll stay with him so you can get flattered even if he is wrecking his health and life on drugs.

 

The times I have seen drug users change is if it will REALLY cost them something that they value more than the drugs, i.e., if a partner they really love tells them they are leaving if they don't stop, and the partner does leave and shocks the drug user into realizing they need to stop using if they want to be with their partner.

 

But sometimes even that doesn't work, but if you do leave and he doesn't stop, then that just proves that his true love is the drugs and not you, and the rest is just idle flattery to keep a hot young girl around for fresh poontang and attention.

[Fudgie]

When he's high, he isn't who he is when he's sober. What I'm saying is, you don't really know him as a person yet unless/until he's spent time getting sober and remaining that way. I've known people who've done a fair amount of drugs and them sober/high...it's like night/day.

 

He's already snapped at you. That's a glimpse of the real him. The him that is cranky/in withdrawal because he's not on drugs. I'm sure he's all wonderful and nice when he's on drugs but those cost $$ and suck the time and life out of someone. What happens when you can't afford them? Who is he then? My guess is, it's not someone you want to know. You already saw a glimpse of that.

[sk22545]

So what. They're just words about your physical beauty which means nothing. He's showering you with over-the-top, superficial flattery to get you to stay with him and you're eating it all up. Don't be so easily impressed.

 

I understand occasional drug use, but the fact that you saw him snort something first thing in the morning is a different thing entirely. If he's using first thing in the morning often, I would be extremely concerned.

[notalady]

So what. They're just words about your physical beauty which means nothing. He's showering you with over-the-top, superficial flattery to get you to stay with him and you're eating it all up. Don't be so easily impressed.

 

I understand occasional drug use, but the fact that you saw him snort something first thing in the morning is a different thing entirely. If he's using first thing in the morning often, I would be extremely concerned.

 

Agree with this 100%. Everything I read in that letter that touched you so much, is that all he had to say was about your looks. Is that all there is to you then? That you are hot? It seems so for him.

 

When I was around 17,18, I used to take what guys say to me seriously as well, then when things go to sh*ts, I would always think, but he said he loved me! But he told me I was the most beautiful girl in the world! He said this and he said that. Well guess what, the #1 life lesson you can take here is that words are cheap. Words mean nothing if action doesn't back it up.

 

Oh he thinks you are beautiful? That's nice. But what did his actions show?

 

1. He procured drugs for you. Yes you wanted it. But guess what, people who care about you will tell you it's bad and tell you not to do it regardless if you wanted it. If they can't stop you, fine, but they certainly won't be encouraging you.

 

2. He snapped at you for not calling to follow up on an interview. And you said he had done it once before. So that's twice, in a very short start up relationship of only four months. I know it may seem long to you, and I can understand that (my relationships were all 1-3 months back when I was that age), but trust me, it's really not. Four months is very short especially for someone to be already snapping at you. I don't care if it's because of the drugs, that's just not acceptable, ever.

 

3. And he lied to you right from the start, by not revealing his drug addiction. Now that you are emotionally invested, he's slowly starting to show his true self to you. By the time you see the whole person, you're already in deep. Ask yourself if you are single right now, and someone is to tell you "I'm really into drugs, hardcore ones, whatever, everything, and I take it all the time, even in the morning when I first wake up. Let's go on a date." Without knowing anything else about this guy, would you have said, oh cool, I would love to date you? I would think and hope not.

 

You keep saying he treats you well, but so far you have not given any evidence of how he treats you well, other than flattery and compliments, which as said before, means nothing. Maybe he had been supporting you financially, but he's also getting laid by a beautiful girl, sounds like a pretty sweet deal.

 

Maybe he cares about you, as he cared about you getting a job (getting on your case about the interview), or maybe he just wants you to stop being a financial burden to him. Either way, that does not equate to treating you well.

[notalady]

Oh and I'm sorry but your bf is not cute, everyone is not being mean but he does look like a drug abuser. You just have rose glasses on because you like him. I've looked back at some of the guys I dated when I was younger and think, what the f was I thinking, I can't believe I dated that guy he is clearly a loser, he even looks it, how did I not see it! I thought they were cute too at the time.

 

I know this because I've been through it. Trust the people here who are older and more experienced and already been through similar things. They may not have dated a drug addict but they know right from wrong and they are telling you this guy is wrong for you just from the simple but cold hard facts you have given here so far. Ignore it if you like, it's your life, but just remember all these kind people had warned you.

[itsallgrand]

What about your life outside of this? YOu mentioned you have been unemployed for some time, and broke as a mfo. Where are you living? What about your friends? Things you do outside of spending time with your bf?

 

It's great you can see the beauty in another person beyond the drug use - but I agree with the others, that doesn't mean it is a good idea to choose him as your bf. I think they have covered very well why.

 

If you took that ability you have to see the good in others, and applied it to somewhere else - hell, the health care field is crying for good people! - it might build up your confidence , and you would have something too that you would stand to lose and want to protect.

 

It comes accross to me like your attitude is a bit 'ah f/ it, it's not that important anyways' - meaning, yourself.

 

But there are people who see YOU in much the same way you see your bf. Bursting with love for ya, and good wishes, and want you to succeed. Also, can see some of how you are getting into your own way with that right now. I know right now you feel your bf is doing that for you, but I promise you, there are others out there who care and who will care...

 

It's part of growing up, but at the same time, there are some mistakes you cant take back. This is the territory where you are flirting with those kinds of mistakes.

 

This week another young woman was found dead in my city; it happens way too often. Almost every time, hon, almost every time - these girls were involved with drugs and drug users.

 

So what people are saying here is simply concern. I know too, like avman said, you probably won't take most of this to heart right now, you have to come to your own time on it.

 

I'm sorry that job didn't work out for you. I really am. Please don't give up trying.