Lolitaaa Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Hi guys, I'm not sure my boyfriend still wants to be with me and it is KILLING me not to know ... He's upset about stuff that has nothing to do with now, gets aggressive all of the time ... But he is still calling and texting me and tells me he loves me and I was the woman of his life. I tell him I need to know where I'm standing, and he says he doesn't know whether he still wants to give me a chance ... I'm tired of asking him where we are standing because he gets upset and tells me the more I ask, the less he wants this Relationship. He's just really angry. So my question is, should I go into No Contact if he doesn't send or textes me anymore ? I'm thinking of giving him a week before he makes up his mind, if not I'm changing my phone number and not going on Facebook anymore Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 You keep posting over and over but don't really accept the responses. Link to comment
Lolitaaa Posted July 1, 2014 Author Share Posted July 1, 2014 You keep posting over and over but don't really accept the responses. Now I'm asking if I should go NC, sorry, I won't post again then. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Yes, you should go No contact dear. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 I'm thinking of giving him a week before he makes up his mind, if not I'm changing my phone number and not going on Facebook anymore Just do it already. The fact is unless someone is 100 percent with you and says it then they aren't. It doesn't get more simple than that. People who don't want to tell you the relationship is dead or that they don't want to be with you often do so for one of several reasons: they are cowards and really have issues with confrontation, so much so they'll hurt you far worse than just go ahead and yank the bandaid off or they have self-image issues and don't want to be the bad guy in a breakup, so they let you do it or they want you on the backburner in case whoever else they have their eye on rejects them or they think they may need you in a corner pocket in the future. And none of those is a reason for you to stay stuck in relationship limbo. Cut all contact, go NC, call it a done deal and move on. If he wanted to make things work and be with you this whole push-pull thing wouldn't even be happening. Waiting around for the other person to break up isn't always going to get you anything, but stuck in a corner waiting on someone who can't make up their mind. So make it up for yourself. Link to comment
Lolitaaa Posted July 2, 2014 Author Share Posted July 2, 2014 That was the kind of answer I was waiting for, I've been posting a lot, but I'm just so sad and alone right now ... Had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago and a curettage, so I feel al alone ... =thank god for my mom, but he needed to be here and he was going to a socker game instead which kinda was the drop. I'm putting out my phone for the night, take a sleepingpill and if I don't hear him tomorrow, I'll give him one week to give me an answer before I break all contact, not even my face he will see after that, nothing. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 I'm putting out my phone for the night, take a sleepingpill and if I don't hear him tomorrow, I'll give him one week to give me an answer before I break all contact, not even my face he will see after that, nothing. Gah! I'm so sorry you're hurting but for your future emotion best health I do hope that he doesn't contact you and hoover you back into his B.S. again. It shouldn't be this hard if your love for one another is there. You really can do better then this turd you're addicted to. Link to comment
Lolitaaa Posted July 2, 2014 Author Share Posted July 2, 2014 Gah! I'm so sorry you're hurting but for your future emotion best health I do hope that he doesn't contact you and hoover you back into his B.S. again. It shouldn't be this hard if your love for one another is there. You really can do better then this turd you're addicted to. Thank you, thatwasthen ... I'm acually on antidepressiva because of what happened with my miscarriage, so he should be there for me ... But he told me he was thinking of ending it a while now, so this is something new ... A few days ago he was so sweet ... I just think the NC is the best way to do it, as long as he know I'm there he won't make his decision, and once he does, he won't get to miss me if I stay in his life ... Hurts like hell after all I've been through, just 2 weeks after my curretage, but he'll be regretting it once he won't be able to reach me. Link to comment
Destroyed 33 Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 Why wait a week? If he decided to take you back in a week, whos got the power? Him. If he did take you back its pretty much a "Yeah, I guess you are good enough to hold onto for a little while but just until something better walks by". Is he worth a little more time in a relationship just knowing that he will have the power to kick you to the curb whenever you sneeze the wrong way? When I hear the word aggressive, I think abuse. When I think abuse, I say, suck it up and find a better person to be with or stay and be a punching bag (emotionally or physically). Make a decision based on that. Trust me. I know how tough it is to separate from the one you love even with all of their flaws you still see only the good. I get it. I know what it feels like to feel worthless and unworthy of the one you love. I dont know too much but I do know that time brings strength and they say it also brings healing. You sound like you are just going to keep running back to him though. Do what ever you want but understand the result of YOUR actions! Whatever you do, you've got to be strong. Link to comment
LC8328 Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 I remember you from your other post. I also know your emotions are very delicate right now, and therefore it makes little sense to be with a man who, at the very least, has anger issues. Not telling you one way or the other (as far as your relationship) is just emotional abuse, if you ask me. Especially considering your current situation. You will feel better once you've eliminated the 'unsure' factor of this man from your life. *Hugs. Take care of yourself. Link to comment
greta96 Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 Don't wait a week, change your number now and don't ever be in touch with him. Why would you even want to continue being with someone so insensitive, selfish and immature? Nothing to wait for, it's time for you to stop letting him have the upper hand and to take charge of your own happiness. Link to comment
Lolitaaa Posted July 2, 2014 Author Share Posted July 2, 2014 Thank you, CML, you are right ... It's a hell not knowing, after all I've been through I do not deserve that ... I made a deal with myself to cut off all contact if I don't get an answer in a couple of days, I'll delete FB and block his number. He yelled at me again on the phone yesterday and today I just recieved some textmessages almost like he is seeing if I'll respond since I haven't made contact after the call where he yelled. The fact he stays contacting me and hasn't updated his relationstatus is killing me, it's no way for me to move one ... It hurts more then anything, but once he's lost me he'll regret the way he has been acting ... Link to comment
Lolitaaa Posted July 2, 2014 Author Share Posted July 2, 2014 Don't wait a week, change your number now and don't ever be in touch with him. Why would you even want to continue being with someone so insensitive, selfish and immature? Nothing to wait for, it's time for you to stop letting him have the upper hand and to take charge of your own happiness. I know all this, but it's hard since I told him I'd give him "space" and "time" ... Ugh .. I thought about blocking him right away, but I really need to know what his desicion will be, don't even know why ... Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 You can clearly see what his decision is. His FB status is irrelevant. Link to comment
Lolitaaa Posted July 2, 2014 Author Share Posted July 2, 2014 You can clearly see what his decision is. His FB status is irrelevant. Thanks .. But I'd rather hear it from him if you know what I mean my dear Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 And you will wait in limbo until HE decides he wants to answer the question.... By not being by your side, by breadcrumb like texts...by telling you he is unsure....all of those are not YES. And not YES is NO. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Lolitaaa: Aren't you tired of feeling hurt and confused and unloved by his very indifferent actions? His words are just words. Time to pay attention to his apathetic actions, his actions of indifference and his actions that prove he doesn't value you. His words don't mean anything when you have his truth in actions. A man that wants to be with you doesn't just give you cheap lip service like " How are things today " and not bother to come and see in person how things are. Take back your personal power and stop leaving everything in his hands. It's making you obsessive compulsive in your thoughts on this and everyday you wait for word is helping to whittle away at your own peace of mind and self-esteem. You deserve better then him and how he treats you. Believe that. Sorry you're hurting. Link to comment
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