lifeoverboard Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 My girlfriend has kind of offered me a threesome! She has said that she quite likes the idea of the gentleness of being with another girl. Providing I agree to some boundaries on what I am/am not allowed to do with her and let the fantasy grow over time, she will one day want to go through with it. I'm scared that she might end up liking her new experience a little too much. Or will have trouble getting over seeing me with the other girl. Do my fears have any merit? Would you go through with it? Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 I'll say negative and leave the 3some to the pornstars. If I don't truly feel anything for the girl then I'm up for it, but if I truly care and love her I would pass. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 No and I would end the relationship because she asked. Link to comment
mutiny Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 I wouldn't do it, but I don't think you should end the relationship just because she brought it up. But you probably should say no. I've done that before with my ex and a mutual friend, and I wish I hadn't. Of course, we hadn't exactly discussed boundaries first, it just sort of happened (we were all quite a bit... intoxicated), but still. I was able to let it go pretty easily after, but it is not a fond memory. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 She wants to cheat and make it ok. Not cool. Link to comment
Furbys Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 In my opinion threesomes are just cheating but you get to watch. I would never do it. Link to comment
missmarple Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Anything sexual that you don't feel comfortable with...don't do it. Although, in this case, I'm not sure that she actually suggested a 3some or she just enjoyed talking about it...or maybe testing you to see what you'd say. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 I don't think it matters what any of us would do. You should do whatever you feel comfortable with. It's your sex life, not ours. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 After reading your previous post, (below) I have to ask, with a shady past such as you've both had, how would this improve a relationship that's already dead? Link to comment
BigKK Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 I would only do it, if she was a girl I wasn't that serious about...otherwise a LTR partner...nope, usually means the beginning of the end! Link to comment
DancingFool Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Having read your other thread, I wonder if she really meant it or if she is just trying to compete with the hookers to get your attention, hoping that if she gives you sexual excitement, you'll give her love, aka emotional connection. Your relationship has been a long drawn out train wreck. You are not staying together out of love, just out of habit. There is a difference. Link to comment
jjkk Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 It's asking for a disaster, in my opinion. The only time I've seen a threesome not eventually end in disaster is when it's a hook up and no feelings are involved. Link to comment
superfan Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 My husband and I have done it (as well as sex with another couple) and we enjoyed both experiences very much. Neither of us have had any issues with jealousy or problems with the people involved since it happened. We are still friends with and hang out with the girl we slept with (a friend of mine from University) as well as the couple. We set boundaries that we both abided by and we enjoyed the experience. However, every single relationship is different and what works for one is not going to work for everyone. Would we do it again? Maybe. It's not a lifestyle decision, but I wouldn't rule it out in the future. But that is US. And not everyone is going to feel the same way about something like this. If you are the type who gets jealous easily (or she does), then you will probably struggle with it. Insecurities and fears can also play into how it is handled. It also depends on why both partners want to have the experience. My husband and I didn't do it so I could cheat and "he could watch". We did it because we BOTH wanted to have the experience and to share it with each other. As crazy as it sounds to people, I enjoyed watching him with another woman and he enjoyed watching me with her as well. We used it as a bonding experience. If she is just after a little kink and wanting to explore things with another woman, then you might encounter problems. If she wants to approach it as something you share as a couple, then that is different. I don't know your situation or your relationship, but you will need to make sure you set boundaries and discuss what you are and are not comfortable with. Everyone has to feel comfortable with it or it will backfire. Link to comment
superfan Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Just read the other thread you posted about the relationship and having seen that, the LAST thing you guys should be contemplating is a threesome. I stand by what I said - that it CAN work out, but the trust has to be 100% and you guys have way too many issues with trust right now. Work on your repairing your relationship if that's possible. Link to comment
superfan Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Just read the other thread you posted about the relationship and having seen that, the LAST thing you guys should be contemplating is a threesome. I stand by what I said - that it CAN work out, but the trust has to be 100% and you guys have way too many issues with trust right now. Work on your repairing your relationship if that's possible. Link to comment
oitnb Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Threesomes while single - fun! Threesomes while in a relationship - horrible idea. But that's just my opinion... Link to comment
Hoagy Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Today she wants a threesome with another girl. Tomorrow she'll want a threesome with another guy. Or maybe she wants to cheat and hopes this will make it okay for her. Link to comment
MisUnderstood9 Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 If there is already trust issues in the relationship, this probably a bad idea. Link to comment
Kendahke Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 My girlfriend has kind of offered me a threesome! She has said that she quite likes the idea of the gentleness of being with another girl. Providing I agree to some boundaries on what I am/am not allowed to do with her and let the fantasy grow over time, she will one day want to go through with it. I'm scared that she might end up liking her new experience a little too much. Or will have trouble getting over seeing me with the other girl. Do my fears have any merit? Would you go through with it? I wouldn't do it. If you have feelings for your girlfriend, I'd advise you not to do it. If you didn't have feelings for anyone, that's a different story. Yes, you do stand the chance that she might like it a bit too much---and she might discover that you like the other girl a bit too much. Don't borrow trouble. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 She could be testing you. But I wouldn't do it. She wants to cheat. Or wants you to. So it can be over. Just say no. Link to comment
Iggles Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 This is a bad idea. Proceed with caution, or not at all.. Link to comment
Natasha24 Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 There are too many things that could go wrong. She might realize she really likes being with a girl. She might get jealous seeing you touch the other girl or seeing the other girl touch you. Etc etc. If you care about her, don't do it. Threesomes are relationship-ruiners. Link to comment
Mishmon Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 Having read your other thread ..... You are not staying together out of love, just out of habit. There is a difference. There's something really fishy about you two even considering threesome. This is just my wild guess but it seems that two or you are looking for a way to legitimize having sex with other people rather then to commit and be faithful for a change. What's keeping you together? Link to comment
regular joe Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 I just read your other post. I say go for it. Your relationship is already so damaged you probably couldn't make it any worse. Link to comment
Roxie84 Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 Threesomes are great! For single people... I have never known a couple to stay together for long after a threesome. Link to comment
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