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Threesome. Would you do it?


lifeoverboard

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My girlfriend has kind of offered me a threesome!

 

She has said that she quite likes the idea of the gentleness of being with another girl. Providing I agree to some boundaries on what I am/am not allowed to do with her and let the fantasy grow over time, she will one day want to go through with it.

 

I'm scared that she might end up liking her new experience a little too much. Or will have trouble getting over seeing me with the other girl.

 

Do my fears have any merit? Would you go through with it?

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I wouldn't do it, but I don't think you should end the relationship just because she brought it up. But you probably should say no. I've done that before with my ex and a mutual friend, and I wish I hadn't. Of course, we hadn't exactly discussed boundaries first, it just sort of happened (we were all quite a bit... intoxicated), but still. I was able to let it go pretty easily after, but it is not a fond memory.

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Having read your other thread, I wonder if she really meant it or if she is just trying to compete with the hookers to get your attention, hoping that if she gives you sexual excitement, you'll give her love, aka emotional connection.

 

Your relationship has been a long drawn out train wreck. You are not staying together out of love, just out of habit. There is a difference.

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My husband and I have done it (as well as sex with another couple) and we enjoyed both experiences very much. Neither of us have had any issues with jealousy or problems with the people involved since it happened. We are still friends with and hang out with the girl we slept with (a friend of mine from University) as well as the couple. We set boundaries that we both abided by and we enjoyed the experience.

 

However, every single relationship is different and what works for one is not going to work for everyone. Would we do it again? Maybe. It's not a lifestyle decision, but I wouldn't rule it out in the future.

 

But that is US. And not everyone is going to feel the same way about something like this. If you are the type who gets jealous easily (or she does), then you will probably struggle with it. Insecurities and fears can also play into how it is handled.

 

It also depends on why both partners want to have the experience.

 

My husband and I didn't do it so I could cheat and "he could watch". We did it because we BOTH wanted to have the experience and to share it with each other. As crazy as it sounds to people, I enjoyed watching him with another woman and he enjoyed watching me with her as well. We used it as a bonding experience.

 

If she is just after a little kink and wanting to explore things with another woman, then you might encounter problems. If she wants to approach it as something you share as a couple, then that is different.

 

I don't know your situation or your relationship, but you will need to make sure you set boundaries and discuss what you are and are not comfortable with. Everyone has to feel comfortable with it or it will backfire.

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Just read the other thread you posted about the relationship and having seen that, the LAST thing you guys should be contemplating is a threesome.

 

I stand by what I said - that it CAN work out, but the trust has to be 100% and you guys have way too many issues with trust right now.

 

Work on your repairing your relationship if that's possible.

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Just read the other thread you posted about the relationship and having seen that, the LAST thing you guys should be contemplating is a threesome.

 

I stand by what I said - that it CAN work out, but the trust has to be 100% and you guys have way too many issues with trust right now.

 

Work on your repairing your relationship if that's possible.

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My girlfriend has kind of offered me a threesome!

 

She has said that she quite likes the idea of the gentleness of being with another girl. Providing I agree to some boundaries on what I am/am not allowed to do with her and let the fantasy grow over time, she will one day want to go through with it.

 

I'm scared that she might end up liking her new experience a little too much. Or will have trouble getting over seeing me with the other girl.

 

Do my fears have any merit? Would you go through with it?

 

I wouldn't do it.

 

If you have feelings for your girlfriend, I'd advise you not to do it.

 

If you didn't have feelings for anyone, that's a different story.

 

Yes, you do stand the chance that she might like it a bit too much---and she might discover that you like the other girl a bit too much.

 

Don't borrow trouble.

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There are too many things that could go wrong.

 

She might realize she really likes being with a girl. She might get jealous seeing you touch the other girl or seeing the other girl touch you. Etc etc.

 

If you care about her, don't do it. Threesomes are relationship-ruiners.

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Having read your other thread ..... You are not staying together out of love, just out of habit. There is a difference.

 

There's something really fishy about you two even considering threesome. This is just my wild guess but it seems that two or you are looking for a way to legitimize having sex with other people rather then to commit and be faithful for a change. What's keeping you together?

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