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regular joe

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  1. regular joe
    One more thing Suesser Tod, just like Blender. I looked at how many posts you have on here. It's funny that the people that are the most opinionated have the most posts on here. Where do you find time for your relationship? Is it so perfect that you have time to meddle in others? May be if you spent more time on your relationship and less time in here you could get yourself a girl. Call me an I'll give you some pointers.
  2. regular joe
    I don't have any sexual identity issues Suesser Tod, say what you want I'm a heterosexual male. This Issue is none of your business, she wanted to go the Internet, I guess then our issue quit being private. I didn't have to pry and spy, she left a trail a blind man could follow. the other website sends e-mails to our mutual mailbox. Where do you get off standing up on a soap box and judging me? You live your life the way you see fit and stay out of mine. The biggest problem here is this is an issue between her and I. It's been going on way too long. If she wants to talk about then she should speak directly to me with out interference from the rest of the world.
  3. regular joe
    The other option is to move on, judge our relationship on it's merits and lets move forward.
  4. regular joe
    Suesser tod Mind your own F*****g business. You don't know * * * * so F***k off and die. You don't know me. Advice and opinions are like * * ****es everyone has one. Carlene so what your saying is it is OK for you to keep secrets from me. To put my life on the Internet with this F***King site and the other one. I am who I am, my past is what it is. If it's an Issue Then take the above * * ****les advice and move on.
  5. regular joe
    Madmegz666, First of all lay off the weed and booze (it's in your profile) it's not helping you any. It clouds your judgement, that may be part of your dilemma. Try laying off the stuff, it will only lower your inhibitions and you may not make the same choice sober. Second of all hit the spell checker at the top of your page. My head is also spinning. OK folks one more time, it happened twenty plus years ago. It was young insecurity about sex and how to handle raging hormones. Had the opportunity to do it again when i was older (Yes, I told her about this too. long story) Did not want it, enjoy being with a woman. Anymore questions?
  6. regular joe
    So what is he has to do for you to be okay with it, as Blender has asked? Is the fact that it happened over twenty years ago, when he was Just a little younger than your son, not enough? Is the fact the he loves you and your son not enough? Is the fact that he is more loving and caring then your ex husbands not enough? How about the fact he can turn you on like nobody in your life ever could and leave you asking "how did you do that"? How about the fact your son would rather spend time with him more than his biological father? How about the fact he would never cheat on you, and doesn't even do anything that would even send up a red flag about cheating? Did he go on and on line dating site (as a Joke) when you asked him not too? Did he add someone to his personal web page, after you asked him not too? Did he go out drinking with his friends from work, without even a phone call? No, then I guess it is still about not telling you about something he did twenty plus years ago as a young teenager.(which by the way is common.) Is it the fact he loves you even when you think your fat (which your not.) or when your greys show through (doesn't care.) or if you haven't taken a shower yet that day?(still doesn't care) NO, He still loves you anyway. He doesn't degrade and demoralize you like your ex. How about the fact he won't say he is BI because, he F......G ISN'T. Would like me to go find some bimbo and have sex with her to prove to you he is hetero? I know WHO I AM and if you can't love me for that, then it will be your loss. THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T TELL YOU FROM THE BEGINNING AND SHOULD HAVE NEVER TOLD YOU!!!!!!!! You won't talk to me at home about it, but, you'll post * * * * in here? Blender can post somewhere else to earn her next ENA merit badge.
  7. regular joe
    I'm sure he thinks of you and your son as a family. I think what your saying is he wants to have children with you. Again, I think he is past it. He expirimented and doesn't want that anymore. It seems to me that being with you makes him happy. You said this took place a long time ago. He has had plenty of time to do it since then. If that is what he wanted, that is what he would have pursued. Has he been in hetro relationships ever since? from what you say he wants a relationship with you, you really need to stop letting something that happened in his past to stop you two from a future together. I'm sure of the fact that it is behind him. From what you have said that is what he keeps telling you. You have to believe that. He's not going to cheat on you with anyone. The reason he won't say he is bi is, because that is not who he feels he is. If he were, he would tell you that after telling you all this. Why to you keep on insisting on placing a label on him, instead of listening to who he identifies himself as? You keep saying he was involved for a year. Was it an emotional or just a sexual relationship? Did you ever stop to think that this expirience, is part of past expiriences that made him the person you fell in love with? He is sure of who is, you need to do the same, be sure of who you are. Why do keep on feeling like you are going to lose him to someone else? He wants to be with you and only you, STOP TRYING TO SABOTAGE IT. Stop thinking that he is going to leave you. Positive things happen to people that think positive thoughts. I see by your picture you are an attractrive woman. Stop being insecure about your relationship. Be secure about him and yourself.
  8. regular joe
    So the biggest problem was him not coming out and telling you earlier. I can understand why and hope you can too. the other issue about what he did. If it was sometime ago. I think he tried it, but, it was not what he wanted. I think he has made it clear that being with you and having a future together is what he wants. I hope you can see that too. We all have some degree of curiousness in us.(the porn) or whatever. If you try something and find out it's not for you, then you move on. I don't see him as a cheater from what you say about him. I think it's kind of like you being worried about any other exes in his past. forget about that and move on with your future.
  9. regular joe
    What it has to do with is if it happened lets say twenty years ago, then it is very ancient history. The relationship has to do with how involved it was. For example, was it casual or involved. You brought up his watching the porn and getting h... So I asked if you ever watch a scene between two women and got turned on. What would be the difference. As far as the lying, if was an event that happened a long time ago. It would be no different then you worrying about an ex girlfriend. Why obsess about the past, concentrate on the future. You nor he can unring a bell once it has been rung. You say you love him and loves you, work on your relationship. I think I know him very well and can say he's not going to cheat on you with anyone. I also believe that it is not what he wants. What he wants is what he has with you.Stop trying to apply what your ex did to him. Your lack of trust in him will undermine the relationship in the end. I also asked you did he ever tell someone else this? Did they have a negative reaction to it? If so can you see why he would be very reluctant to tell you? I'm sure he thought about it long and hard and thought telling you, to not have any secrets from you was the best option. I'm also very sure that if he didn't believe you two had a future together, he probably would never have told you about it. Have you opened the lines of communication with him or have you just been ignoring it? Do you express your fears to him or do you hold them in and just express them here? It doesn't matter what advice you get in here if you don't apply it there. You will not trust him and put your fears behind you, if you don't talk to him about them. I'm sure he can tell everything is not kosher in your relationship. Stop avoiding it and start facing it. You have to a least give him a chance to earn your trust back.
  10. regular joe
    If this thing happened a sometime ago I would think by now he knows. I don't remember her saying anything about buying it. I'm trying to find out why she thinks he wouldn't cheat on her with a woman, but, would with a guy. If it was because he didn't come right out and tell her. Did he tell a previous girlfriend and had a bad expirience with it. Just because he looks at some porn about it doesn't mean he's trying to feed some need.
  11. regular joe
    How long ago did this event happen? What exactly was the relationship? I'm sorry that you feel you have given us background. Ever think that he tried it and is past it? Do you ever look at lesbian porn? Does that make you BI? Do you still love him? Are you still in love with him? Do you believe he loves you? Has he given you a reason to believe he'd cheat on you? Has he been on a dating site? Have you sat and discussed this with him or are you still avoiding it? It seems to me he is willing to be open and honest with you. You said he hasn't brought it up, because I'm sure he received a negative reaction from you. Again, if you both chose therapy as a way of resolving this, you will need to open and give all the facts or else it will be a waste of time. It seems that your being cheated on in the past is your biggest issue. I hope you handled the problems in your other relationships differently. Ignoring it will not solve it.This is probably why he was hesitant to tell you and why he waited so long.
  12. regular joe
    Again, this where some more info from carleneandrea would be helpful. I see it as their situation is not bad at all, from the little bits she has shared. Some of the facts would definitely be helpful here to give her the best advice. Her biggest hurdle from what I see, is her past experience with being cheated on. Communication whether it be with him, here in this forum, or in therapy (if that is what they choose.) is key. She can't only tell part of the facts and hope for the best. She needs to tell the whole story. There is still a lot information missing.
  13. regular joe
    Re read my post. I have to clarify two things. First, carleneandrea, when I said you are kind of sure you are in love with him. I meant this issue is causing a dilemma that you are having a hard time getting by. Second, Blender, What I meant about being way off base is. If he were out trying to meet someone at the bars or in a chat room, etc. Your analogy would be correct. However, seeing that is not the case, it would be more like a beer commercial came on during your favorite TV show. Last but not least, carleneandrea, your avoidance of talking about this situation with him. You will never resolve it if you don't discuss it and work on it together.
  14. regular joe
    Again, Carleneandrea, I ask you was this event recent. Was it five years ago, ten, twenty? Was it sex or a "relationship"? Your avoiding talking to him about the situation is NO GOOD. You want honest and open lines of communications, but, you are the one again not speaking to him. Then when he talks to you, you don't listen to what he tells you. You put in whatever fears you have as the "answer". You turn to this forum looking for answers, but, you only give us a little bit of information? I think you avoid answering my questions, because it happened a long time ago and your worried about something that isn't there. I also think Blender is way off base. If this happened a long time ago, I think he has made up his mind and is sure of what he wants. Once again it is your own insecurity, that seems to be at issue here. Does he look at all types of porn or just that? Have you ever looked at lesbian porn? Does that make you BI also? From what you have said this man loves you.( which he is sure of.) You love him.(which you are kind of sure of.) So what is the problem, are trying to blow a good thing? You keep putting him in the same cheater class as your ex(es) If your not talking, I can't imagine there has been much intimacy in your relationship either. One last thing, You talk about protecting your son, is he good to your son? You need to open the lines of communications with him, or else you'll always be in this limbo. I'm sure he is aware that things are not solid between you. This is why he waited to tell you. I'm sure he debated long and hard about it and felt that you should know. He told you this information, because he sees the two of you being together for a long time. I'm sure if he thought you were a short term thing, he probably would never have told you.
  15. regular joe
    Ten minutes only if it's a quickie (not including a little foreplay) and it is always ladies (multiple times) before gentlemen. I can't even have an orgasm until I make my girlfriend orgasm a few times. Hearing her getting off is what brings me over the edge. Sounds to me he doesn't know what buttons to push and levers to pull. You need to help him out or else keep missing out. If you don't tell him something is wrong, he'll keep on doing what's he doing. ( no one's complaining, why mess with something that's working?) Show him what you like and don't be afraid to ask him to do something. Maybe add some toys. For example, Some nights my girlfriend likes one position better than another. Then the next night it maybe the other way around.( woman's prerogative.) Communication inside and outside the bedroom, always leads to the most mind blowing sex you will ever have.
  16. regular joe
    Your half way there, you now realize he wants to be with you. Now just go the other half, and only you. you say he has trouble with full disclosure. I can see he is not alone with that. I asked you a couple of questions about your issue and still no response. Even Blender ( The Therapist pusher, she might want to hand out cards.) will agree that with out all the facts being put forth, that even counseling would be a waste of time. You can't get the best advice with only little bits and pieces of the whole story. You can then take those answers and find a solution within yourself. Which, even if opt for therapy, through here or though some other means will be the goal. Why are you so afraid to answer? From what you say you have found someone perfect for you, with an imperfect past. So why do keep asking why? It sounds to me like he is very much in love and content with you and only you. I don't think he wants anything else. You are doing it again, in that you are trying to decide for him what he wants. I think he knows, you are the one wobbling. I'm glad that he makes you feel special, it seems as though your ex(es) have done some damage to your self esteem. He on the other hand makes you feel special and is restoring your self esteem, which will let you feel more comfortable with yourself. We all want someone to make us feel special. Instead of asking why, ask who, what, where and how. As in who do you love and who loves you? What is next for us, where can we take this and how can we build on it and improve it?
  17. regular joe
    I think you are still unsure if he'll cheat on you. Does either of you have a history of being cheated on or doing the cheating? Now, you are insecure that it may not be with a woman, but in the back of your mind, maybe a guy. You need to believe that he knows who he is. If you believe he won't cheat on you, then give him the benefit of the doubt. If you were cheated on, don't punish him for someone Else's crime. From what you say, he's in love with you, so stop obsessing and start enjoying being in love with someone. It's time to heal and move forward. Remember, it is easy to find somebody, it's hard to find someone.
  18. regular joe
    You say he was in a year long relationship before he met you. How long ago before he met you? Just before he met you or many years ago? The relationship, was it purely sexual or was it a real relationship? Then do you listen to and believe his answers or do you ignore what he says and put in what you think the answer is ? Have you even sat down and discussed this with him? He knows himself better than anyone. One more thing getting advice is good, but everyone is different, there is no standard. What one person does is not what everyone does. that is why listening to his responses to your questions are is important, and not trying to put in a response that someone else gave you.
  19. regular joe
    As far as me sounding like your bf, just a coincidence, guy brains. Read, everyone else's replies they really aren't any different than mine (even the girl brains). I hope I just gave you a little more insight. If you love someone, you love the faults as much as the good, That is what makes them who they are. Love should be and is unconditional. If you put conditions on it, then you aren't really in love. Life would be perfect and there would be no divorce lawyers, if you could go on line and order perfect, no faults person. You have to take a chance when love comes along, if you don't you never know when it'll come around again. What makes being in love better though is being able to work together to get through things. We all error time to time. If you love him as you say, you need to talk to him, listen to what he is saying and work through this. From what you say he is also in love with you and hopefully he will do the same.
  20. regular joe
    If you love him what does it matter? Is this something he does now, wants to do, or was it expirimental in his youth? Has he tried to talk you into a threesome with another guy? Did he come out and say he is bisexual or did you label him as that? When you go out, does he check out guys, other women, or are his eyes just for you? Does he love you and show you all the time? Is he a good lover or does he seem to be like a fish out of water? I agree with all the posts except that of Blenders. Maybe he expirimented and he is being WHO HE REALLY IS WITH YOU. I don't think he needs help unless he is confused. As far as him not telling you for a while. I don't think it was he lied. I'm sure he was afraid that you would label and judge him, even possibly leave him. He was probably scared that you would not be able to handle the truth. I think to an extent he is right, now you say you picture him in these scenrios.It is not socially accepted what ever it was he did with this other person. He probably won't tell you that persons' name, because, it would not be right of him to out this person. No matter if that person is gay, bi, or it was just expirimental for them. I'm sure he would not like it, if the other person did that to him. I admire him for loving and trusting you enough to tell you. I'm sure it hurt him when he did have to hide this from you.Does he show any other signs like he would rather hang with a guy friend(s) more than you? Even as PC a society pretends to be,two guys could not go out in public and even dance together (no contact). However, it is acceptible for two girls to do that(with contact) or to make out in a bar. I'm sure some of your girlfriends even do that and you don't even blink an eye. Today it's like a status for a girl to be Bi. As far as the porn, if he looks at it so what. If he is like most guys he looks at all types of porn. If you walked in on him watching a peeing videos, would that mean he wants you to pee on him? If this was something he did in the past. Then Judge him on who he is now and how he makes you feel. Remember, you will never have a future living in the past.
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