The Imsuperman Files

[itsallgrand]

That's great news, Superman. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone a little bit. Thinking of the kinds of people you would enjoy being friends with, getting to know, dating. And then putting yourself in positions to meet those kinds of people.

 

A mixed sports league seems right up your alley. I'm thinking of a friend of mine and how she met a lot of her friends and her husband (because she is very sporty and also career focused). She's a fire fighter and I love her so much. Just an awesome person. She met her husband at a curling bonspiel of all things. loll.

 

Can't wait to hear what you try.

[imsuperman]

That's great news, Superman. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone a little bit. Thinking of the kinds of people you would enjoy being friends with, getting to know, dating. And then putting yourself in positions to meet those kinds of people.

 

A mixed sports league seems right up your alley. I'm thinking of a friend of mine and how she met a lot of her friends and her husband (because she is very sporty and also career focused). She's a fire fighter and I love her so much. Just an awesome person. She met her husband at a curling bonspiel of all things. loll.

 

Can't wait to hear what you try.

 

I started looking at meetups around her online over the weekend.

 

It has been a good past week. Last Monday saw a movie with my cousin, had lunch with my friend on Friday, saw a movie last night, and I'm going to an NBA exhibition game tonight.

 

Leaving two hours early from work and it's comp time, woohoo!

[imsuperman]

Hello. Quick thoughts:

 

Finished the book I was reading. Deciding on a new book always creates a tremendous problem for me. There are so many I want to read.

 

Bought two Star Wars tickets for Dec. 17th. I don't know who, (if anybody) I will go with. I will absolutely go alone if that's how it ends up. I eat alone at least once a week on lunch hour. It's ok by me.

 

I've had the oopsies this week. I left my basketball shoes in the locker room at work yesterday and left my credit card at the restaurant I ate at today. All items were found safe.

 

Speaking of bball, I believe all the running I do takes a toll on my lower legs and feet. Just aching, usually the right one. Nothing serious I don't think. Love it too much to quit though, not now at least.

 

Beginning the last year of my twenties later this week. Both of my grandmas got me cards early for my Birthday because they are awesome. I thanked one in person and called the other.

 

I may have a total Hulk-out if I hear another Foghorn Leghorn-sounding man say the word, "Benghazi" on my television.

 

I kind of like fall. I'm excited Halloween is on a Saturday and I can basically watch scary movies all day.

[imsuperman]

I felt a lot better in basketball today, and had one of my better runs in a while. Pulled up and hit a very long shot from about 28 feet. A guy on the other team said, "No way," after I launched it, but it went in. I said, "No way?" and smiled running back.

 

Better than that even, I hit a really great hanging turnaround fadeaway. I caught the ball on (my team's) left elbow with my back to the basket. I felt where my guy was with my right shoulder while dribbling, he stayed low enough to where I couldn't drive, so I spun around without ever seeing the basket and faded away from him and shot it at the same time. It's a blind shot, but I've practiced it since I was ten and watching Jordan. It went straight in without hitting the rim. There were smiles and "Wow"s.

 

A lot of it started a few weeks ago when I noticed two other guys that play kind of smiling about me guarding one of the better players, as if I couldn't do it. It wasn't like they were being disrespectful on purpose or anything. People always say "Don't listen to so and so" but all my life I've used that sort of thing for motivation. If somebody thinks I can't do something, or that it's a weak point, I always want to improve on that. But it's an "actions speak louder than words" thing. I know I'm the youngest there and one of the most athletic, but no one would care if I just said that. So I have to show it.

 

My friend's dad saw me Friday night leaving the gym and he said I was looking a lot stronger. I told him thanks and that I think the cardio in bball is really helping. It keeps me thin but also improves my stamina.

 

I feel as good right now as I ever have. Before the last game two people left, and one of them was a guy in my department. I followed him out as I was asked if I was playing again. The other guy said, "Yeah of course he can play again. He just needs a sip of water." And it's true. I would never have thought even a year ago that I could basically run for an hour and not feel completely gassed.

 

I'm always looking ahead though. I want to remain fit in my older years.

[WithLove]

I'm proud of you, dude. You've come a long way in self-improvement over the last year or so that I've been following you. Keep it up!

[imsuperman]

I'm proud of you, dude. You've come a long way in self-improvement over the last year or so that I've been following you. Keep it up!

 

Thank you. I realize this journal probably usually sounds like the most narcissistic one ever, but a lot of it is just the fact that I'm fairly happy with how everything is right now.

 

I think the stability I feel in having finally started my career created a lot more confidence. There are still things I want to get better at. I think I've been a lot more personable in the last year or so than I ever have, but it still requires some work on my part. Not very many people outside of my family know me really well and, whenever I have free time, my inclination is usually to be alone during it.

 

I'm short on friends. Like I have my cousin who is like my brother, but I almost always have to ask if he wants to see a movie or whatever, you know? He almost never texts me and initiates things like that. And then since he goes to bars and has dates and that and I don't do either, I feel like the "needy" friend. Other than him, I only have one other friend who I see. They're both very close friends, but sometimes I think it kind of becomes cyclical. If I only hang out with two people, then on some level I think, "Hell, if they're really the only ones that can put up with me, then so be it." And I want to get to a point where I can put myself in more uncomfortable situations because that's what I should be doing, but sometimes it feels like teaching a shark to juggle or something. I don't know how to start, really.

 

And I think there's some reticence on my part to go out of my way to find love and all just because I'm 29 now. Most women my age, even if they aren't married, are in serious relationships, and/or have kids. I've found if I'm attracted to someone, the chances of the first two are very, very high. So it's like: Then what?

 

I mean I'm well-liked and fairly talkative at work, which for me is saying something. But I still want to get better at the other stuff.

[WithLove]

Maybe it has to do with how approachable you are? Idk. What kind of vibes do you give off?

[imsuperman]

Maybe it has to do with how approachable you are? Idk. What kind of vibes do you give off?

 

It's a good question, but I haven't seen many women that approach men. I don't know what would make me unapproachable. I do make a conscious effort to not look pissed all the time haha.

[WithLove]

I was talking more from a "friends" aspect. Maybe you can concentrate on becoming more approachable from a friendly standpoint... sometimes relationships blossom from friends first.

[imsuperman]

I was talking more from a "friends" aspect. Maybe you can concentrate on becoming more approachable from a friendly standpoint... sometimes relationships blossom from friends first.

 

I was thinking about it today, and I think a lot of it comes down to me just not being a naturally charismatic person. I don't think I'm good-looking, but not really bad-looking either. I think I have a good enough personality. (I'm not weird or anything)

 

I think a man with more charisma, even if he wasn't generally thought of as being as "good-looking" as me, would do better with dating than me, if that makes sense.

 

And that goes for just overall for interactions with anybody. I think that helps one make friends as well. I can't quite put my finger on it. I wish I was Mr. Charisma and could be the center of attention all the time, but I just don't think it's me.

 

I'm too much work for most people.

[WithLove]

Maybe if you smiled a little bit more.

[itsallgrand]

How are you too much work for people? That's an interesting way to put it.

 

You seem very low maintenance and easy to get along with. Very low drama. Which is a great thing.

 

Do you mean as far as creating a buzz to get a connection going?

[imsuperman]

Maybe if you smiled a little bit more.

 

NO I actually contend that I smile more than people think.

 

How are you too much work for people? That's an interesting way to put it.

 

You seem very low maintenance and easy to get along with. Very low drama. Which is a great thing.

 

Do you mean as far as creating a buzz to get a connection going?

 

I honestly didn't really give it much thought until a few years ago. When I worked at in Fitness and Wellness at a gym at the time, a co-worker mentioned that a new hire described me as: "The tall guy who doesn't talk to anyone." The co-worker thought this was really funny, because her and I would talk each others' ears off if we worked with each other. There were others (these were all younger, late college- age women, I was 25- 26 so maybe four or five years older) that thought the same thing. We hired an intern who showed bit of interest in me. Then, the first time I worked with her, she basically didn't say a word to me the whole shift, actually hid for a good bit of it on a piece of equipment, and I felt like it was somehow MY fault. I was angry and slightly creeped out by it, so I later returned the favor when I was doing another job and she had to be in the same room with me for like an hour.

 

And I mean okay they were maybe just young and dumb and this was some years ago anyway. But I thought it would go away/get better now that I've progressed in my career etc.

 

But it didn't, so it's like: OK, maybe this is my fault.

[treesandbees]

Here's your thread. Hello and returning your nice gesture.

 

I don't smile in most of my pics. Too open of a smile closes in your eyes so I trade off having more expressive eyes over a toothy grin I think you can still relay happiness and joy in photos without giving a big smile, a slight upturn can do that lol

 

Did you do anything on Halloween? House party, club party, movie marathon? Have a favorite Halloween movie? I like Jeepers Creepers.. Just creating conversation lol

[imsuperman]

^ I watched three movies and finished a scary book yesterday actually

[imsuperman]

Did ok in hoops today. Outside shots just aren't going, but I'm tough to stop if I cut to the basket. The other guys are realizing they pretty much have to foul me inside, and even then, it counts if the shot goes. Caught a knee in my left leg just to the left of the shin while chasing after a loose ball and had to sit out the last game to ice it. The swelling went way down (was virtually baseball-sized at first) and I'm good to go for whenever we play next I think. A guy in my department saw my manager and told him about it, and joked that I would probably miss two weeks of work. My manager apparently smiled and got the joke but then said, "Oh God, don't joke about him being out two weeks."

 

My sister is asking me about my Star Wars tickets. I have two, and am currently going by myself. Her boyfriend wants to see it with her. I've never been to a movie by myself. I should probably stop being a jerk and let them buy them from me.

[imsuperman]

Played five games of three on three. Had a very good run today. Scored my first five shot attempts. I'm getting unstoppable inside. It's such a luxury to be able to play the greatest game in the world in the middle of the day. It clears my busy mind, and I always feel better after.

 

Might see a movie or something this weekend. Looks like my cousin is kind of moving towards becoming official with this girl he's seeing, so he's going to be more difficult to track down for stuff to do.

[imsuperman]

ENA is the first to know:

 

I think maybe I'll let my hair grow out a little. For the first time in years.

[imsuperman]

Was feeling slightly melancholy this week. I have been extremely busy at work. I have been given additional responsibilities at work again. It kind of reminds me of that old Everclear song "Everything to Everyone." I have drank two coffees a day this week. Which has to go back to one next week. Coffee makes me hungry. Which gives me a headache. Which makes me a little irritable.

 

My one on one with my manager was postponed. Even though we had enough for bball with me back "in, this goober turned the gym over to volleyball. I'll no longer play on Fridays in protest. That's what I'm here for. Communicating effectively.

 

Workouts have been decent. I'm trying to work up to a 315 deadlift. I got 300 once in March or April, but injuries/aches and pains have held me back since then. Last night I got up to 275 for 3 reps, which was ok but felt enormously heavy.

 

I'm thinking of scheduling a physical soon. My left ankle still "pops" from whatever I did to it in February. Even though it only hurts for like half a second when that happens, I should probably have it looked at still. My right knee pops every rep even though I do very light weight leg extensions. Yesterday I banged said knee on my desk, and it both really hurt and felt slightly numb. The knee I took on the outside of my left calf nine days ago eventually turned into an impressively-sized but light-colored bruise, which has faded and should be totally pain free in the next handful of days. Cuts on the wrist area from fingernails are common from going after rebounds in basketball. I occasionally get a minor pain in my lower back from spinning around in basketball.

 

I've been playing more in the paint on offense in basketball, so the aches and pains are to be expected. I look at it as kind of auditioning for the corporate challenge team. Last year I was injured during it, but never really heard about it and wasn't asked by the others who participated to play. I don't know if we're doing it this year or not.

 

While I'm the tallest, I also weight only 183 pounds. I've been getting "wrapped up" about once per day of playing. For those not familiar it's when someone intentionally grabs your shoulders to keep you from scoring. It doesn't really hurt me since my back and shoulders are strong, but it shows how much I've improved athletically that I'm now warranting intentional fouls to keep me from scoring. Even going back six months, I'm in much better physical shape now.

 

I feel lonely at some point a lot of days. Then I feel guilty for having such a good life and feeling crummy. I at least try to keep myself entertained when I'm not working.

 

Family Guy had a gag some years ago where, on the TV the characters were watching, a commentator said, "Now back to '"Busy Business Woman Whose Life is Missing Something But She Doesn't Realize It Because She's So Busy With Business.'" Sometimes I feel like I'm the male version of that. It's all kind of rinse-wash-repeat. I like my job overall. But it's Monday. Then suddenly it's Friday. Then Monday. Then it's Friday again.

 

I look at families and husbands and wives and think: Probably not gonna happen for me. But is it even what I want? I don't really know. Those may be things that just cause more stress on my my brain. Is there something wrong with me? Am I just cynical? Am I just scared I'll screw it all up somehow if it does happen? Do I have anything to offer anyone besides my work ethic?

[treesandbees]

You seem to adore your basketball I never played it I am not much for organized sports or group sports.. I like to run, swim, bike etc moreso. Do you play several times a week?

 

You should let your hair grow out, change can be liberating even through ways like that, can always shave it off if you don't dig it. Post a pic if you decide and show the end results.

 

Don't feel guilty for feeling down, we all feel this way part of life sadly it gets hold of us time to time or some of us for a lifetime... you are allowed to feel how you feel without guilt. Hope it won't last long for you. Nothing wrong with having a good work ethic and wanting to get again either. Doesn't mean you don't want love or a wife and family..things happen when they are meant to and when you are ready for them I feel. Rushing or settling is worse imo.

 

Have a lovely weekend.

[imsuperman]

You seem to adore your basketball I never played it I am not much for organized sports or group sports.. I like to run, swim, bike etc moreso. Do you play several times a week?

 

You should let your hair grow out, change can be liberating even through ways like that, can always shave it off if you don't dig it. Post a pic if you decide and show the end results.

 

Don't feel guilty for feeling down, we all feel this way part of life sadly it gets hold of us time to time or some of us for a lifetime... you are allowed to feel how you feel without guilt. Hope it won't last long for you. Nothing wrong with having a good work ethic and wanting to get again either. Doesn't mean you don't want love or a wife and family..things happen when they are meant to and when you are ready for them I feel. Rushing or settling is worse imo.

 

Have a lovely weekend.

 

Yes, I should probably change the name of my thread to have basketball in the title. It annoys people reading I'm sure, but it's something I've loved since I was a kid. It ties in the the whole self-confidence thing, which is really the theme of my whole journal. We play at least twice a week.

 

I'm nervous about the hair thing. But it's time for a change, I think.

 

Yes, we should both try really hard to have good weekends!

[imsuperman]

Another monster bruise from basketball.

 

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[Cheetarah]

Put some ice on that sucker. I was lucky to not have ever been on the receiving end of any real injuries when I played basketball. I did knock a girl's tooth out once with my elbow(unintentionally). I haven't played since college...Once or twice when I am at the gym I have shot a few just for nostalgia's sake. I'm super rusty and I don't think I can run like that anymore!

[imsuperman]

Put some ice on that sucker. I was lucky to not have ever been on the receiving end of any real injuries when I played basketball. I did knock a girl's tooth out once with my elbow(unintentionally). I haven't played since college...Once or twice when I am at the gym I have shot a few just for nostalgia's sake. I'm super rusty and I don't think I can run like that anymore!

 

I've been getting beat up because I've been driving the ball a lot more. I'm probably the strongest in our group and I'm the tallest that's been playing, so I've been getting fouled in addition to the accidental kicks etc. It's too much fun though!

[imsuperman]

Today I saw someone describe Facebook as pictures of kids, ads, and linked videos.

 

Not too far from the truth. I kind of want to delete it but my dad and cousin still communicate some on there.