Well I'm gonna do it

[CF-35]

I'm going to write the email, It really doesn't matter to me anymore what she thinks or what it will make me look like I really need to get things off my chest. Today I learned she was officially In a relationship with the new guy on Facebook. I'm completely dumbfounded, she took the first guy that came her way and jumped right into something straight away without ever looking back. 2 1/2 years down the drain without even a second thought. I'm litteraly boiling with rage right now, I was stupid enough to think that maybe the holidays would make her feel nostalgic about us but it obviously hasn't. I really can't fathom how someone can just move on from such a serious and healthy relationship in such a short amount of time. I'm going to tell her what'S on my mind and I could care less what it makes me look like, she had all the time in the world to come back but she has officially burned every single bridge. She needs to be told that her behavior is immature and no one else is going to tell her, I realize I'm an ex so my word carries little weight but I know it will probably still make her think because deep down I feel like she knows how ridiculous she looks. I'm so angry about the dog as well, when we bought it I told her I wanted to pay more because I wanted him to be mine if anything happened. I told her the reason was that I didn't want to get blindsided and have to deal with her leaving me with some other guy with my dog. Well screw me thats exactly what happened. I'm livid right now so I might wait until I'm a little calmer but I'm going to send that message today.

[Twidom]

What do you hope to accomplish by doing that? To make her feel guilty? It won't do any good at all. Leave her be. It's her life, she do whatever she wants to. You guys broke up. It doesn't matter how fast she moved to someone else or not. It's HER life, not YOURS.

 

Sending a message will not do you any good. If anything, you'll feel worse later on. Just wait. Breath and let the rage go away.

[CF-35]

What do you hope to accomplish by doing that? To make her feel guilty? It won't do any good at all. Leave her be. It's her life, she do whatever she wants to. You guys broke up. It doesn't matter how fast she moved to someone else or not. It's HER life, not YOURS.

 

Sending a message will not do you any good. If anything, you'll feel worse later on. Just wait. Breath and let the rage go away.

Exactly I've got nothing to lose and no expectations, obviously I know it wont make her run back to me but it's about me not her..it'S about getting it all off my chest instead of constantly thinkning about it.

[professorplum]

I can totally identify with what you are feeling. If you have the time: write it now and save it in your email. Do not send it until early/ mid January. In the meantime keep looking at it and reading it and see whether it is still something you want to do tomorrow, next weekend , in the new year.

 

It will almost certainly not achieve anything. It will give you brief pleasure and then probably you will regret it if / when she ignores it. Even if she replies what can she say that will help?

 

You will finish up looking the stronger man if you now are able to just ignore her. And I plead with you - do not look at her Facebook account any more because it will continue to screw you up.

 

Yes it sucks and life is a trial at times. Get through Christmas and new year as best you can and then try to move forward. If you still want to send this email in mid January then do it but I think by then you might have changed your mind.

[amipushy]

Exactly I've got nothing to lose and no expectations, obviously I know it wont make her run back to me but it's about me not her..it'S about getting it all off my chest instead of constantly thinkning about it.

 

Something else will just come along and piss you off. What will you do then? Keep telling her how much she pisses you off? Think about it.

[CF-35]

I didn't actually look at it... My other ex sort of implied it ( they know each other) when I told her I would write her an email. Then I pushed until she finally told me. Like I said I have nothing to lose and I feel like she needs to be told because no one else will no matter what effect it will have.

[Twidom]

Exactly I've got nothing to lose and no expectations, obviously I know it wont make her run back to me but it's about me not her..it'S about getting it all off my chest instead of constantly thinkning about it.

 

It's not a matter of win/lose. You said she was acting like a child. You are too. It's her life, not yours. She can do whatever she wants.

 

My ex dumped me via facebook and a week later went to this party and hooked up with a few guys. Was I mad? Yes. Was I infuriated? Of couse. Did I have any right to call her a child and bash her? No.

 

Calm your head.

[CF-35]

Something else will just come along and piss you off. What will you do then? Keep telling her how much she pisses you off? Think about it.

 

It'S not like that, I haven't had any contact with her whatsoever, I bowed out of her life gracefully in the hopes that she would reconsider. That was probably a mistake because now I feel like a lot of things were left unsaid.

[amipushy]

I have nothing to lose and I feel like she needs to be told because no one else will no matter what effect it will have.

 

She doesnt NEED to be told anything. She will only think "Who the hell do you think you are? I will do what I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want. And SHE IS RIGHT.

 

And actually you do have something to lose, you have your dignity.

[Clio]

She is not worth it. While I understand full well what you are feeling, by engaging in this type of contact you are validating how important she is still to you. Stooping to her level will make you feel better momentarilly but it will most probably make you feel worse later on. Whatever you say to her, she will twist it in her mind to justify her decision. Wait for the hurt to settle and then decide. Showing indifference, even if not genuine at first, is the best response to such situations. After all, one does not pay attention to unworthy opponents...

[lavenderdove]

I think you should write out what you want to say, but DON'T mail it for a week or more. Take your time. Don't send something in anger that you might feel foolish about later. I think you have a perfect right to say whatever you choose to her, but try to do it while you're in your 'right mind' rather than in a rage. Depending on how angry/raging the letter is, it may make her feel GLAD that she's not with you, or else worried that you're an angry stalker.

 

So write it down to get it all out, but don't send it. When you're calm, if you want to send her a last goodbye that explains your feelings or point of view you can do it, but you need the edge off your emotiojns before you consider it.

[CF-35]

She doesnt NEED to be told anything. She will only think "Who the hell do you think you are? I will do what I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want. And SHE IS RIGHT.

 

And actually you do have something to lose, you have your dignity.

 

I've thought about that, I really don't care I feel like I can send a message for myself without losing any dignity. And of course she has no obligations towards me and she can do whatever the hell she wants as far as dating is concerned, but there's such a thing called basic decency. Ignoring my mom a woman who treated her more like a mother then her own mother and taking away someone's dog without offering to pay is a complete lack of respect and decency. People have been asking me half-jokingly if I beat her because they don't understand why she turned on a dime like she did.

[Ms Darcy]

I didn't actually look at it... My other ex sort of implied it ( they know each other) when I told her I would write her an email. Then I pushed until she finally told me. Like I said I have nothing to lose and I feel like she needs to be told because no one else will no matter what effect it will have.

 

Be careful though. I once got a letter from an ex many years ago ... after one sentence I could tell it was not going to be nice. I crumpled it and threw it away. Don't assume she will actually read it or that it will have any impact on her.

[Ms Darcy]

Ignoring my mom a woman who treated her more like a mother then her own mother and taking away someone's dog without offering to pay is a complete lack of respect and decency.

 

I can understand your lingering anger about these things, but it sounds like you are more angry that she's moved on romantically.

[amipushy]

I'm sorry but sending her an email directly after she changes her profile to 'In a relationship' screams "What about meeeeeeeeeeeeee???" Dont do it.

[CF-35]

I can understand your lingering anger about these things, but it sounds like you are more angry that she's moved on romantically.

Yes because she convinced me that she wasn't emotionally dependant. When I met her she had just gotten out of a relationship and I was kinda weary but her friends and family assured me that things weren't that serious with her ex and that he treated her really poorly. I was even skeptical that she wanted to be with the first guy she met out of a relationship ( me) but she assured me that I was really her type and that she had previously spent 2 years on her own so I was confident that I wasn't a rebound. Now I just feel so darn stupid because I bet she said the same crap to this new guy.

[smackie9]

You will make yourself look like a complete tool.....it shows she still has power over your emotions, and that means you are letting her win by venting your rage at her....she will look at it as a complete joke and that you need to get a damn life. Don't do it!

[smackie9]

I'm sorry but sending her an email directly after she changes her profile to 'In a relationship' screams "What about meeeeeeeeeeeeee???" Dont do it.

 

Agreed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ms Darcy]

Yes because she convinced me that she wasn't emotionally dependant. When I met her she had just gotten out of a relationship and I was kinda weary but her friends and family assured me that things weren't that serious with her ex and that he treated her really poorly. I was even skeptical that she wanted to be with the first guy she met out of a relationship ( me) but she assured me that I was really her type and that she had previously spent 2 years on her own so I was confident that I wasn't a rebound. Now I just feel so darn stupid because I bet she said the same crap to this new guy.

 

It's always sad and brings up feelings of anger when someone no longer wants to be with us. Hurts the ego. Hope you can accept her moving on and start to move on yourself too soon.

[CF-35]

I'm sorry but sending her an email directly after she changes her profile to 'In a relationship' screams "What about meeeeeeeeeeeeee???" Dont do it.

Who cares? Why is everyone so hung up on what you look like to them? If she doesn't care about me why should I care about what she thinks , I think she looks like a cold heartless person for handling the things the way she did, she also looks ridiculous for dating the first guy that comes her way but I bet it doesn't matter to her now does it?

[Twidom]

Who cares? Why is everyone so hung up on what you look like to them? If she doesn't care about me why should I care about what she thinks , I think she looks like a cold heartless person for handling the things the way she did, she also looks ridiculous for dating the first guy that comes her way but I bet it doesn't matter to her now does it?

 

And you look ridiculous for "trying to tell her that she is wrong". This is none of your concern anymore. You guys broke up. It's her life, not yours. Try to put yourself on her shoes. You break up with her, don't want anything to do with her. Then you just have sex with another girl. Why is that so wrong on her part?

[CF-35]

And you look ridiculous for "trying to tell her that she is wrong". This is none of your concern anymore. You guys broke up. It's her life, not yours. Try to put yourself on her shoes. You break up with her, don't want anything to do with her. Then you just have sex with another girl. Why is that so wrong on her part?

How about she took my dog even though I was supposed to keep him, did it without remosre, without giving me back any amount of money. Ignored my birthday and my mother reaching out to her to ask her if she wanted all the dog toys that she still had at her place. I can't hate her for dumping me but I can hate her for the lack of respect and decency that she's show towards me and my family.

[Ms Darcy]

Who cares? Why is everyone so hung up on what you look like to them? If she doesn't care about me why should I care about what she thinks , I think she looks like a cold heartless person for handling the things the way she did, she also looks ridiculous for dating the first guy that comes her way but I bet it doesn't matter to her now does it?

 

I actually don't think how she would take it matters. I think it's very possible she won't read it or will give it to someone else to read. There can be unanticipated consequences.

 

Also, it's her right to date whoever she wants. I have a friend who dated a guy for four years and left him for her now husband. We never know what the 'next relationship' is about.

[Ms Darcy]

How about she took my dog even though I was supposed to keep him, did it without remosre, without giving me back any amount of money. Ignored my birthday and my mother reaching out to her to ask her if she wanted all the dog toys that she still had at her place.

 

I can't hate her for dumping me but I can hate her for the lack of respect and decency that she's show towards me and my family.

 

Then address the dog issue. But it's very clear you DO hate her for dumping you.

 

What do you mean about her ignoring your mom?

[Twidom]

How about she took my dog even though I was supposed to keep him, did it without remosre, without giving me back any amount of money. Ignored my birthday and my mother reaching out to her to ask her if she wanted all the dog toys that she still had at her place. I can't hate her for dumping me but I can hate her for the lack of respect and decency that she's show towards me and my family.

 

The dog issue has nothing to do with your anger right now. It is crystal clear you're mad at her for dumping you. Throw this anger away. It's not doing you any good.

 

You have to accept is over. She can date whoever she wants anytime she wants now. It's her life. She do whatever the F* she wants with it.