Girls saying "all the good guys are taken" is insulting

[radiohead20]

I am a 27 year old guy about to turn 28 that has his own place, his own car, a career that pays very well (mid 80's) that I am passionate about and I exercise on a regular basis and take of my appearance.

 

Yet I keep hearing girls complain that all the worthy guys are taken! I have listened in on these conversations or been (unfortunately) a part of them during some work lunches etc. A common theme is that they are so frustrated and feel like they are going to be single forever and never get married. These women are usually in their mid to late 20's. I Even saw one break down and cry, and all her friends told her "you will find someone some day, I know that most men past the age of 25 that are single havn't grown up, don't have a steady job, and dont take care of themselves, you'll just have to weed out most men past the age of 25"

 

I almost find it insulting that women think this? Really? there are plenty of men out there that have great careers, are attractive, etc that are single past the age of 25. When girls say this is makes them seem like entitled prissy princesses that want a 6 foot 2 tall, dark haired charismatic lawyer that makes 6 figures. And they won't settle for anything less.

 

Why do women do this? Do they actually have standards so incredibly high that only the top 5% of men are able to be classified as "worth guys".

 

And how about the girls that are saying this? Have they examined themselves? Half the time they don't have much to offer either.

 

 

Speaking of prissiness, I was hanging out with a girl that is a friend the other day who signed up for free online dating. She is average looking at best but she was getting a TON of messages from guys, most of which were more attractive than her. Yet she trying to "one-up" herself and said that she feels entitled to a very attractive man now based on the responses she has gotten. I seriously wanted to slap her but held it back.

 

Is this what the dating world has come to? I feel like its almost...I don't know want to say this..kind of like the animal kindgom. Where a select few few males mate with all the females, and most guys get left in the dust.

[Sparklesong]

Well, actually we say "taken or gay".

 

I agree with everything you said, but I also know that there are a LOT of average to good-looking decent women who do NOT say that or think that way, but the guys who come along are always drooling over the high-maintenance, drop-dead gorgeous types of girls who DO think that way. They get so dazzled and blinded by them that they don't notice the attractive nice girl sitting at the next table. Rest assured that many of the girls who are not settling for anything less are going to be older and uglier in five years and will probably have lowered their standards quite a bit to land a husband who will put up with them, lol.

 

I blame reality tv. Damn Kardashians.

[agent1607307371]

And yet in all your reasons why you are a good guy, nowhere did you mention how you treat people... and you bad mouth your friend.

[itsallgrand]

Here is my thinking...why worry about those ones?

 

Think and focus on the women who you are actually interested in getting to know. Keep your mind on positive things about women.

 

IT would be like me getting stressed that there are men out there who think women 30+ who are single/no kids must be lower quality or else they would have been 'snatched up'. Or that a women in my position is somehow desperate and just looking to get married and have kids.

 

I don't want a man who thinks like that, so it doesn't matter. They aren't my concern. My concern are the men who are open to me being great.

 

Sure, there are a lot of stereotypes and prejudices about people no matter who you are or where you are at .

[Lonewing]

Turn it around. Say all the good girls are taken or gay. Now pull up a dating site and going just by pictures, cross off all the girls you don't want to date. Then, date all the girls you do want to date until they have all rejected you or refuse to reply to you.

 

Now you might say "all the good girls are gone," but this would be a lie. For there in the stack of girls you discarded there are many great women, even though they aren't everything you're LOOKING for. And there in lies the problem. You're looking for something that was in high demand when it was available and yes, it was married off first. The best women will remain married forever, and you might have had a chance with them, once, but only once, back when you were younger. Now, they're gone off the market forever.

 

The levels of standards are now ridiculously high, but OKC did do a study that showed women are holding the more unreasonably high standards. So be it; may they enjoy their cats alone.

[Sparklesong]

I have almost no standards and yet I have three cats

[Lonewing]

We have lots of standards, even if we don't think we do, and it's good, because it saves us from the kind of life my mom has gone through.

 

Where I am weakest is economic stability - and yes, I do believe that is what women want first and foremost. Lets be honest, a man with the ability to go have fun without care or worry IS extremely valuable. A trip to the Rio? Tonight, this month, this year? Sweet, let's go!

 

Yeah, I'm not that...which is my weakness...My financial prowess, followed by my regional immobility, ended by my professional pursuit. And I've discovered I really can't live with particular things people tell us not to worry about. My last ex was about 20-50lbs overweight, and I told myself it was no big deal. And...well, I hate to say it, but there's no lying to myself, it was there and it never went away and it IS a big deal...to me...

 

It's not all bad being single.

[falldownkid]

There's a common trait amongst gals who who say all the 'good guys' are taken and guys who say that too many women are 'entitled' - they're people who complain about the world, and who the hell wants to be with someone who complains all the time?

 

I speak from experience. When I was 25 or 26, I was pretty pissed at women in general, convinced that they were overlooking something wonderful (i.e. me). Then I got dealt a rough set of cards, so I evaulated the person I was against the person I wanted to be and made changes to my life, which resulted in my being less angry in general. And I've been on fire, women-wise, ever since.

 

People pick up on negative attitudes. And then this happens:

 

A**hole meets Good Girl → F**** her over → She turns into a B*tch → Meets a Good Guy → F*** him over → He turns into an ******* - The Sad Cycle

 

Life's too short to be part of that cycle.

[DN]

Don't forget that a lot of women who say that are not able to attract or keep any good man and are using the phrase to cover up their own shortcomings.

[Doc Blaze]

usually the ones that say all the good guys are taken are the ones who date douche bags or are looking for some white night to cheer them up with comments...

 

this girl on my fb posts this at least once a week yet runs back to the guy who has been cheating on her for years...smh

[allcity]

No offence, but if you're chatting with a group of single women that really want to meet a guy and all they've got to say is that there are no good single men out there, surely that says more about you than it does about them?

 

Have you tried showing them just how awesome you are? It's too easy to just sit there and blame them for not noticing how amazing you are, so maybe you're just not giving them much reason to think of you that way.

 

After all, the things you listed about yourself in your opening line are things that most women would put fairly low down the list of priorities, beneath all kinds of far more important, sexy and attractive personal qualities.

 

Don't fall into the trap of being overlooked by women and thinking that it's all their fault, as nine times out of ten it's you that's most likely causing them to overlook you.

 

You could be broke, have no car and live with your mom and still do great with women, so I'd guess that the real problem is that you're not firing on all cylinders right now. Could be worth taking a look at that.

[Ms Darcy]

Typical blame the other gender thread. Very old.

 

What would be new is recognizing that being a good guy involves more than making 80the a yearr and staying in shape. It has to do with your personality and how you connect with women that ignites their femininity.

[DN]

Typical blame the other gender thread. Very old.

Well, to be fair, it is something that is said on here quite frequently.

[happpybear]

Typical blame the other gender thread. Very old.

 

What would be new is recognizing that being a good guy involves more than making 80the a yearr and staying in shape. It has to do with your personality and how you connect with women that ignites their femininity.

 

so true, I know a guy who is chronically unemployed, lives with his parents, no savings, and is well into his thirties. He has his own small business on the side fixing stuff, but has been unable to secure a decent job in this economy in his field.

 

And you know what? He has a trail of woman that want to date him.

 

He won't date them because he feels he is not able to treat them right because he has no job.

 

One girl recently was relentless in her pursuit of him that he had to stop being her friend. This girl was 7 years younger, super cute, great personality, had a great career in healthcare, own condo, car, etc. You know what she and all the other girls see in him? Confidence, smarts, a good heart, positive energy, PERSONALITY, average looks..

he has just about nothing else that guys typically think they need eg: MONEY, looks, nice car.

[Blue_Skirt]

What is your definition of a “worthy guy” in the first place? Is that a guy that “has his own place, his own car, and a career that pays very well”?

[Kendahke]

everyone is entitled to their preferences. While it's true that some preferences will keep a woman single, for some it's better than settling and not being capable of loving the man the way he deserves to be loved just because he thought he was a good catch. I've seen way too many posting from women who are 10 years into a marriage with a man they have lost the will to love because they were never really all that attracted to the guy, but he was good and "followed the plan".

 

and your penchant for wanting to physically assault a woman because of her opinion is really disturbing.

[wsim]

From my experience, financial stability, having a good career, etc. has little to do with success in dating. There are some people that I know who have great careers, their own place, solid finances and more... but they have a very hard time landing dates. On the other hand, you have men who are the opposite and they have no trouble attracting women.

 

There are other intangible qualities that just as, if not more important.

 

The important factor to remember is for a girl to be interested in you and have a genuine interest to get to know you better as a person, while reciprocating that back. It is not an easy thing to do, nor would it happen to everyone. To put it in perspective, if a girl is interested in you then I would consider yourself very lucky and fortunate. There will be those (myself included) who may not experience this in their lifetime.

[BlueEagle]

The "all the good (guys or girls) are taken" saying is unfair. It's a defeatist attitude, while it may be cathartic, isn't necessarily true. There are some people who must be in a relationship and can't conceive of being alone and single so they oftentimes jump from person to person. Are those people "good?" Sure, they may have great looks, a rocking body, or a seemingly wonderful personality. But who know how they are with their partner(s) or behind closed doors? They could be jerks or witches.

 

Conversely, to judge people who are not taken already, especially at a certain age, or age range, as being defective or feeling "there has to be something wrong with him/her" is equally noxious. Everybody has a story and a reason why they are who they are. To judge like that is preposterous. The point is that there are good people still out there who are not taken. It just requires a positive attitude and a willingness to put yourself out there, be open minded, and give others a chance. If someone likes to invoke that erroneous stereotype then they are only hurting themselves. It's truly their loss. Rise above and be the better person and chances are you'll find your dating life improve.

[radiohead20]

What is your definition of a “worthy guy” in the first place? Is that a guy that “has his own place, his own car, and a career that pays very well”?

 

no, I was merely highlighting some of the things that stereo typically I have heard women are attracted too. I worth guy could be anyone and depends on the women. One girl's trash may be another girl's treasure.

 

however there ARE things that are commonly represented as having ambition/responsibility that usually manifest themselves as the above things. and girls say they love a guy that has ambition/is responsible/has his own life.

 

I guess my frustration is based off of my personal experience. Personally, I have been rejected numerous times (except for ONE occasion) by girls almost immediately for guys that are usually more charismatic and more physically attractive. It had nothing to do with money, ambitions, how well I treat people, etc. It had everything to do with "smoothness" and physical attractiveness. Basically qualities that are either transient or superficial (but I can understand physical attractiveness...that's important). This is where my frustration lies. I feel like in order to even get dates with girls - to even get the chance to really know them and for them to really know me on a more personal level, that I need to take a PickupArtist Boot-Camp to Learn how to be "smooth". I dont know? maybe my experience is not the norm? Maybe others have a different experience with women? I know I sound cynical and frustrated but I am basing it off of what I have observed.

[Blue Spiral]

That statement has nothing to do with "good" in any meaningful sense of the word. Let's run it through the Blue Spiral Universal Translator (think Star Trek):

 

"All the good guys/girls are taken" = "All the people I consider worthy of me are taken".

 

The person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not other people. It doesn't have anything to do with their potential mates' quality or worth as people, it has to do with the individual's perception of their own status.

[pl3asehelp]

What is your definition of a “worthy guy” in the first place? Is that a guy that “has his own place, his own car, and a career that pays very well”?

 

I wouldn't even consider someone who didn't have all these things. Values, personaliy, and looks are all important too, but the stuff you mentioned are prerequisites. Problem is lots of people date others who don't have these basics down and then act like it's not their own fault when it fails later and they wasted their time.

[Lonewing]

I know this guy too. And I see him land girls, for relationships that then for a couple months Then they crash and burn...almost always by their doing and not by his own.

 

He's got great charisma for attracting women, but it's not the kind of material that holds a woman - if anything, as soon as she realizes he is who he is and always will be, they run. And he laments how these girls, his fiancés are running off with his friends, cheating, or off playing silly games...

 

In time, the excuses and the dreams are just that - they lead to nothing.

[Lonewing]

What is your definition of a “worthy guy” in the first place? Is that a guy that “has his own place, his own car, and a career that pays very well”?

 

Honestly speaking, these things are extremely unimportant when it comes to meeting a guy and starting a relationship, but they become vitally important when it comes time to sustaining a relationship and forging a life together.

 

When the honeymoon ends, it's over.

 

Think about it, what is more revitalizing, the man who comes home and all you can do is watch a redbox on the tube because that's all you have, or the man who comes home and says "honey, pack your bags, we're going to Rio!"

[Ayanokōji]

Guys criteria for women is dont be too overweight and look after yourself. Girls criteria for men is 6 2 rich handsome charismatic, someone others look up to and respect, the list goes on.

 

Why is this? Because we men are retarded and have always let women get away with being princesses, we chase them and make them feel like they are goddesses which leads to a lot of them expecting a s.o who has everything to offer yet she has hardly anything to give.

 

Of course this is a large generalization and many women are down to earth and doesn't have her head stuck up in the clouds but seriously, just remain single until you find the right girl, t might take forever but at least you aren't carrying an average or below looking princess on your back.

[Throwaway999]

Aw, don't be too hard on the OP - complaining like this is therapeutic, and is partially what this forum is for. Better to come on here and moan than to actually talk to his single ladyfriends like this (or slap them).

 

Anybody who is single has had similar thoughts at some point - both the "all the good ones are taken" thoughts, and the "the opposite sex is too demanding and has unrealistically high standards" thoughts. The key is to keep them temporary and move on, rather than stewing in a cauldron of your own bitter juices.