Kalika Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Guy A - You are really attracted to him. He's very nice, funny, loves you, but he is poor and he has a hard time holding on to a job, is unstable, has lots of debt, and makes lots of excuses for his mistakes. or Guy B - You are not attracted to him, but he's nice, funny, loves you, and is very responsible and hard working, has a great job and would provide stability. Which person would you rather marry if you had a choice? Link to comment
kittykitty Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 B - I need stability in my life Link to comment
Mercurial Girl Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Not attracted to him? Neither... I mean, I become more attracted to someone as I grow to know and love them, but if that never came? Blehhhhhh rather be single. Link to comment
FathomFear Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 I'm not a woman, but as a gay man I wouldn't be excited by either of those options. Who would be? However, if I had to chose one it would be the first guy. People can mature and get better with finances over time. It's an area which is more easily developed. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 I would never marry someone I did not love, not for all the money in the world. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 I'm not a woman, but as a gay man I wouldn't be excited by either of those options. Who would be? However, if I had to chose one it would be the first guy. People can mature and get better with finances over time. It's an area which is more easily developed. hahahahahaha anyway guy A Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 It would be best to not limit yourself to those two choices. Link to comment
RedDress Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 I would never be able to be with Guy A. I've tried... and I'm much too ambitious/workaholic myself. I feel very resentful when my partner does not have the same work ethic as me... and that has nothing to do with money. Not being able to hold onto a job? I couldn't respect him. I'd rather be with a hard-working minimum wage guy than highly paid, can't hold a job guy. So... Guy A is a dud no matter how hot he is. Guy B? What does "not attracted to" mean? Attraction isn't a yes/no... it's a sliding scale. Am I attracted enough to him and his personality to be able to have a sexual relationship? Can't have a relationship without sex. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Neither unless I wanted a marriage of convenience to B. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Neither - it would just be a divorce waiting to happen. Why not wait until you find someone you actually are attracted to who is a responsible adult - it's not that hard. Link to comment
Kalika Posted May 16, 2012 Author Share Posted May 16, 2012 Neither is not an option!!! Link to comment
Donovan79 Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Wouldn't most girls marry B and then just maintain a little sumpin-sumpin on the side with A? Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Neither is not an option!!! In what part of the world is someone FORCED to marry either a loser or someone they're not attracted to? Venezuela? Cuba? China? North Korea? I don't know. Link to comment
lanaa Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Guy A live with a guy you are not attracted to? no way Link to comment
Gracelove Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Guy B. If he loves me, it's a no-lose situation. Link to comment
TwoINFPs Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 I agree with Day_Walker; there aren't just two men in the world...and neither of Guy A nor B sound like marriage material if you value relationship happiness. Especially not Guy B! As for Guy A, how could someone expect to have a stable, happy marriage with him? If he can hardly take care of himself, I don't expect he'd be able to work effectively as a team in a marriage, either. Luckily, there are a huge variety of men out there, and many are awesome marriage material Link to comment
RedDress Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Wouldn't most girls marry B and then just maintain a little sumpin-sumpin on the side with A? Not those of us with morals... Are you saying you think most women don't have morals/would cheat? I hope "most" is not true... I'm actually surprised at how many people are picking A. Looks over stability, huh? What happens when Guy A gets old, fat and ugly? Then he's ugly AND irresponsible. Link to comment
TwoINFPs Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Not those of us with morals... Are you saying you think most women don't have morals/would cheat? I hope "most" is not true... I'm actually surprised at how many people are picking A. Looks over stability, huh? What happens when Guy A gets old, fat and ugly? Then he's ugly AND irresponsible. I agree that Guy A isn't a great choice--a guy needs to be able to hold his own before being trusted with responsibility in another's life too. But if you don't love Guy B, what's the point? Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Guy A - You are really attracted to him. He's very nice, funny, loves you, but he is poor and he has a hard time holding on to a job, is unstable, has lots of debt, and makes lots of excuses for his mistakes. or Guy B - You are not attracted to him, but he's nice, funny, loves you, and is very responsible and hard working, has a great job and would provide stability. Which person would you rather marry if you had a choice? i'd probably end up feeling attracted to guy B. Funny and nice? Sign me up. Link to comment
poetryandlyrics Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Guy B. I like a responsible, grounded person. I'm sure I'd get attracted to him sometimes -- I'm not picky about that. He's nice, funny, and loves me, those are good qualities still. Link to comment
The_Seeker Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Guy A - You are really attracted to him. He's very nice, funny, loves you, but he is poor and he has a hard time holding on to a job, is unstable, has lots of debt, and makes lots of excuses for his mistakes. or Guy B - You are not attracted to him, but he's nice, funny, loves you, and is very responsible and hard working, has a great job and would provide stability. Which person would you rather marry if you had a choice? Depends. Who loves me more and if we get into an argument does he go straight to divorce mode or work things out or gives a silent treatment? LOL If both go straight to silent treatment mode and divorce mode, then I choose none. Link to comment
lostnscared Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Guy B. I have friends who are with guy A and many of them are fed up--they end up falling out of love due to the instability. I need a man that can be a provider, that is stable, that is responsible, and that sticks to his word. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Neither. Both are poor choices. However, if I had to choose, I would pick Guy B and try to work on the relationship so that we could love each other and be attracted. There is no way that I would ever marry someone like Guy A, no matter how attracted I was. I would not marry someone who can't hold down a job and has massive debt (other than the typical student loans). Link to comment
FathomFear Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 I'm actually surprised at how many people are picking A. Looks over stability, huh? What happens when Guy A gets old, fat and ugly? Then he's ugly AND irresponsible. I think A is the more logical choice because it's not that difficult to become better with money. It's something that you can more easily work on. With guy B, he doesn't seem to be anything else than a walking bank account. I don't see why anyone would want that. I don't see how "I want stability" is a logical response, either, as every person should already have the capacity to support themselves. You don't need anyone else for stability, IMO. And if you do that's a problem in and of itself. Link to comment
Donovan79 Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Not those of us with morals... Are you saying you think most women don't have morals/would cheat? I hope "most" is not true... I'm actually surprised at how many people are picking A. Looks over stability, huh? What happens when Guy A gets old, fat and ugly? Then he's ugly AND irresponsible. Was a joke, dearest. Link to comment
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