Carus Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Hi Star* I am PMing with Mes*...He is feeling better and I'm sure he'll update here when he can* Thanks for checking in Regards Carus* 8-) Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Hiya carus thankyou for letting me know I appreciate that Link to comment
mesmerized Posted March 28, 2012 Author Share Posted March 28, 2012 Hi Star & Carus and all the others. I'm not so good these days. I'm trying hard to survive the storm but what can I say... it's tough. I've lost weight and people have told me that I used to look much better one year ago... I'm getting too slim... Obviously this makes me feel uneasy and I can feel that I'm developing a complex here. I'm reading an ebook "Attraction Isn't A Choice" by David DeAngelo... it's one of those books about how to attain a whole new mindset and become more attractive... I don't know if it works but reading it won't hurt. Truth to be told I still think that my EX is very special. No, she's not the only girl on the planet but yes, she's unique in many ways. The thing is that I strongly believe that even though there's plenty of fish in the ocean there're some fish that are better then others for certain people. And she truly is a great partner to be with because she's suitable for me (if I can say so) Therefore I wanted to ask you... is there any way to change things are get back on the old path? Oh... and thank you for your concern. I've just got the Internet hooked up in my flat. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Hiya mes my darling I am so glad yo have popped back on I am relieved to hear your surviving the storm ..keep at it ..you probably don't feel like the next sentence is true , but there seems to be a calmer air about you ... now this Truth to be told I still think that my EX is very special. No, she's not the only girl on the planet but yes, she's unique in many ways. The thing is that I strongly believe that even though there's plenty of fish in the ocean there're some fish that are better then others for certain people. And she truly is a great partner to be with because she's suitable for me (if I can say so) Therefore I wanted to ask you... is there any way to change things are get back on the old path? It is hard on a forum like this to offer each other hope when we all know how damaging false hope it , how damaging been dumped is , how vulnerable we all are , and for many it has been so horrific that doctors and counsellors and medication has been involved to get over this heartbreak . I am not going to throw statistics at you because for me I don't like all the "most of you will never get back" etc etc because we have to find our own paths with that one and each story is individual and very unique ....so to summarise that point ...."who the hell knows who will get back with who" but it is still far too dangerous to encourage hope from one another ... The point I am trying to make mes is ... no one can answer , no one dare answer , and the truth ....no one really knows. and the chances are you ex doesn't know either ..the only person in all of this who knows anything is you ..and what you know is you want to be back with her . ( same as me and hundreds of others on here) your final sentence .. "is there any way to change things to get back to the old path " yes there is and there isn't mes ... you can ride on a stallion naked with a rose in your mouth telling her you have won the lottery and still she may have made her mind up for good. so the "yes there is bit".. you have to make the changes for you and this is going to take time ..your not in any fit state right now to offer her anything , to show any changes , to make her see you have worked on your stuff..it is too soon and in all honesty , if I where her and you where telling me you had changed and worked on your stuff and was dealing with issues I wouldn't believe you because it's too soon and your not ready .... you think getting her back will make all this right ... well it wont , not right now ..this needs time and space . so first off maybe make a list of facts for yourself and accept them to be how it is for the moment. (this is only my example) 1. It is over between you 2. she doesn't want to get back with you 3. you have had a breakdown ( if you call it that) and the number one priority is you ..you and you . 4. until you have put space and time between this split nothing good can come right now 5. to make another happy you need to be happy within yourself and learn to deal with any mental health issues independently from her ..regardless of her and with a view that she is out of your life. 6. you have to wake in a morning and be glad of the new day whether this girl is in your new day or not. now all this will take time and you have to accept that ..and in the experience of what I have read on here ..if recon does happen , it seems to happen after a long period of time and has more substance than a month split then back together. you have the unique position that she does see you because you work together ..so in that sense she will see the changes mes....but you cannot fool anyone by putting on any kind of bravado and marching into the staff room with a smile on your face and a witty word like nothing is wrong ..if your fooling yourself then your fooling her and you may not think it's obvious ..but it is ... it is so apparent when someone is just "pretending" they are ok ...it HAS to come from within. once you start to work on yourself and your issues independently of her it will shine through ...thats when you start to get on the right path ..and that will happen without you knowing it ..but she will see it as everyone will. but it is still down to her whether she wants to try again ... you have to forget about recon mes ... it is over as is my relationship as is many many more on here . We all feel like you ...they where the love of our lives..we where unique together , they are the one etc etc .. hey I have been at this game since I was 15 ..thats 30 years of dammed lessons I have under my belt and I can tell you now in 30 years of men my ex is only one who has looked after me when I have a head bursting migraine , he is the only one who gets as excited as me that a hedgehog is in our garden , he is the only one who would rather potter around the garden till the last scrap of daylight rather then going to the pub ( bar, nightclub ..whatever you call it) so believe me .. I understand when you say you found someone unique and someone that "fits" you . accept ..accept ....get on your own path now ..and one day she may join you . Link to comment
Carus Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Mes* That is a great post by Star* ^^ I too wanted to comment on your last question: ... is there any way to change things are get back on the old path? The answer is no...How do you 'change' things AND go back to the old path? Besides that slightly rhetorical question, you dont want things to go back to the old path otherwise you will be straight back to where you are now before too long...Understand? The RS broke down before so unless you make some real changes, it will just break down again* I have to go away for a few days, there is a big swell coming..! But I will look in when I can* Keep it movin' Mes* Ever Forward Carus* 8-) Link to comment
mesmerized Posted March 28, 2012 Author Share Posted March 28, 2012 I'm sorry guys... I know I've failed you... I've failed myself... I've just bought a book "Assisted Suicide" There's some kind of chemical that can be bought in China... looks like my destiny has brought me here... I can't cope with reality anymore... Today I cried in front of my student, I couldn't help it... Link to comment
Carus Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 You will only fail if you suicide Mes* 8-) Link to comment
mesmerized Posted March 28, 2012 Author Share Posted March 28, 2012 I can't live like that... I want this to be over. There's nothing that can save me. It was meant to be this way Carus. If you felt like vomiting every day, if you felt like crying every day you'd also want to finish this hell. Don't tell me I haven't tried... I have. I've taken meds. Tones of them. You name it. I've probably taken it. That book cost me 86$, I just hope it's worth it. Funny thing... people will try to make money on everything. Even death. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 mes I don't know what to say to you I am cannot tell yo I am reading this and crying and begging you in my heart not to die ....I don't know what to say to you can I do anything ... I CAN'T GET TO CHINA I CAN'T GET YOU HERE ... Link to comment
mesmerized Posted March 28, 2012 Author Share Posted March 28, 2012 why... why do we have to live... why... Link to comment
Carus Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 If you felt like vomiting every day, if you felt like crying every day you'd also want to finish this hell. I did do that....for some years....And no, I didn't want to die...just wanted the pain to stop...which it eventually did* Don't tell me I haven't tried... I have. I've taken meds. Tones of them. Try something else....Obviously meds aren't the answer* Die now and you will NEVER get your ex back...or any other girl for that matter... I wish you would look at the things you DO have, rather than the things you dont... 8-) Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 COME ON DARLING ...hey mes ... Link to comment
mesmerized Posted March 28, 2012 Author Share Posted March 28, 2012 heh... Carus... she's told me "it's ovver between us and we'll never get back together" Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 heh... Carus... she's told me "it's ovver between us and we'll never get back together" then allow yourself time to heal ...one thing at a time ... I understand the problems you have mes you know I do darling ..but this lady is NOT worth your life ...lets just deal with your heartbreak and the rejection first hey ..that is why we are all on this forum ...we all know how you feel ...carus went through this , I am going through this ... Link to comment
mesmerized Posted March 28, 2012 Author Share Posted March 28, 2012 i'm sorry to say that but I think you don't understand... for me it's simple. I can either go on and want to finish myself everyday or finally do it and stop feeling the pain. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 dont I ? really ... Link to comment
mesmerized Posted March 28, 2012 Author Share Posted March 28, 2012 I'm sorry Star... I know that you've been through hell... but try to understand... it's so comforting to know that you can finish everything.... Link to comment
Carus Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Then keep that knowledge and hold onto the comfort...just dont do it... Again I will pray for your family as they will never recover... Carus* 8-) Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I'm sorry Star... I know that you've been through hell... but try to understand... it's so comforting to know that you can finish everything.... I know love and the last thing I would do is use guilt as a way to stop you ...it makes no difference what I have been through , I know this ...what has gone in my life doesn't alter your pain and I think a lot of people do not understand that ..you know ..and I do ..and for all the starving kids and bad luck stories ...when you hit rock bottom you hit rock bottom ... I suppose cos I know this and I am still here I feel desperate to say something . but you deserve my respect , so I will give you it ... if you do this I am sorry with all my heart , I have become very very fond of you in cyber space and I like who you are , and I am sorry that life is like this for you ...I cannot say any more because there is nothing left for me to say ... Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I'm sorry Star... I know that you've been through hell... but try to understand... it's so comforting to know that you can finish everything.... you have the right to keep that thought , to give yourself comfort ..again I agree ...just have it as a thought ..no one can take that away from you .. I will also prey mes xx Link to comment
mesmerized Posted March 28, 2012 Author Share Posted March 28, 2012 I can't even move from my chair... Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I can't even move from my chair... good ..stay in it ... where I can keep an eye on you Link to comment
mesmerized Posted March 28, 2012 Author Share Posted March 28, 2012 help me... please... Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I am here mes ..I am here , talk to me ..tell me anything you want .. Link to comment
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