Hall of Famous ENA Quotes*

[Destiny2112]

I found this quote here on ENA and saved it on my computer. Unfortunately I don't remember who posted it...anyway, I really like it:

 

You really need to just let go, it may be forever, but more than likely it will not be forever because if you truly believe you had a special connection you can't stay away forever. You will more than likely reconnect in some capacity down the line whether it be a hello, friends or try dating again. For now take comfort in that you did make an effort to work things out. You did make an effort to talk. You did make an effort to let her know how you felt and what you wanted. She didn't want that and now you just have to accept it until one of you change and meet on common ground - if that ever happens. You've done all that you can do, now it's time to leave it in god's hands.

[Destiny2112]

Ah, I saved this one on my computer, too. Don't remember, who posted it either:

 

"Life is a series of changes. That's all it is. Resistance to change causes pain. Stop resisting. Once you truly understand and embrace this truth, you not only start to look forward to more changes, you realize even those which feel as if they may be the end of you are for your ultimate happiness. Usually we only see this in hindsight. One day you are going to thank him for this. I promise." A fellow Buddhist

[tiredofvampires]

Yes, everyone dies but death is just a moment in your life and until that moment you have to LIVE your life. Some people worry about legacies and how we will be remembered when we are gone but the truth is what we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived. And yes, those who are left behind will someday move on but this doesn’t mean they forget. Everyone has to live their life because it’s a precious thing…..death is a great reminder of that. ~Dagless

 

Everything has an ending, nothing is forever. It's important to know this I think. It's what makes the unbearable bearable and the wonderful so precious. ~Dagless

 

And, pretty much anything by Dagless.

 

One of the purest hearts ever.

 

[tiredofvampires]

And yes, I agree on this one by Catfeeder -- another person here who you can flip to just about any post and find something quote-worthy. This one is definitely a keeper (as Crazyaboutdogs knows):

 

"A word to the kind: when I sense I'm hurting someone, I am. The fact that someone would be weak enough to tolerate that from me doesn't make me less responsible for my actions, it makes me more responsible."

[lalalollipops]

I read this from somebody's signature. It was actually another member's quote.

 

When you start rationalising and accepting a cheater's behaviour, you essentially begin playing a game of "how low can you go".

 

 

I love it bc I was in THE situation. And it was so hard to let him go despite the betrayal.

[90_hour_sleep]

i love catfeeder. to me...she's the perfect mix of gentle wisdom and tough love. a blend of tolerence...but always with dignity. i can't recall encountering a poster who mixes it all together quite like she does. if you're out there catfeeder...you rock!

 

i remember this one in particular...

 

 

 

and...

 

 

 

a beautiful soul.

[OptomisticGirl]

I read this from somebody's signature. It was actually another member's quote.

 

When you start rationalising and accepting a cheater's behaviour, you essentially begin playing a game of "how low can you go".

 

 

I love it bc I was in THE situation. And it was so hard to let him go despite the betrayal.

 

I think that was from LavenderDove.

[HeartGoesOn]

I think that was from LavenderDove.

 

Yes, it was.

 

And I liked it so much, I adopted it a few years ago, with her permission.

 

 

[Carus]

"I miss you" equates to "Are you still there for me? Okay good, just checking, goodbye."

.......

8-)

[WockaWocka]

Technical question: is there any way to see which posts (by others) we've given a rep point to? There are so many great posts I've loved but I don't seem to have a way to go back to them unless I've bookmarked them (which I haven't

 

In the meantime, a shoutout to Annie24, catfeeder, CAD, TOV, SuperDave et al for some consistently magnificent posts over the years! I'm sure I'm forgetting a few.

 

Cheers

[KittyBoo]

This is an excerpt from Marshmlofluff's post titled "Lessons I Have Learned As a Dumpee". I read it on a day when it was exactly what I needed to hear.

 

•Sometimes it helps to think to yourself "how would I advise my mother/sister/etc. if someone had dumped her the way my ex dumped me?" If you had seen your mother/sister crying for months, would you advise her to get in touch with her ex and wish him a happy birthday? You should care about yourself as much as you would care about anyone else, and give yourself the same advice that is obvious when the dumpee is someone else, and not you.

 

 

•Someone who dumped you did not want to be with you. That fact alone is enough to make that person an unsuitable partner, even if the person was otherwise perfect.

 

 

•Your dumper misses you because s/he chooses to. Nothing on Earth stops him or her from picking up the phone and saying "I miss you; I want you back." So remember that--every second s/he does not call you, s/he is choosing not to be with you. Don't feel sorry for your dumper, or worry "will my dumper be offended if I de-friend him/her on Facebook?" The person walked out of your life; what they think no longer matters. Save your compassion for yourself.

 

 

I have also found many of SuperDave71's posts to be inspirational.

[Carus]

I know exactly the intense waves of pain that wash over you. Abandonment is a very primal fear. It leaves you naked and raw, feeling like you're 5 again.

One of the best descriptions of how it feels I've ever read..

 

8-)

[lemsip]

Originally Posted by Mustachio

 

"She doesnt have any control over you. You have all the control, you are just exercising the option to allow it all to get to you."

[Carus]

You can never make someone your life. They can be an important part of it but they should not define you as a person

Probably the biggest lesson I had to learn...

 

8-)

[MissSMcc]

I think we mistakenly focus on "why" on and what we could've done better when those things don't really matter in the end. The reason it "doesn't matter" is that it doesn't make it feel better.

Posted by Savignon

[lemsip]

Not an ENA quote but fits the bill...

 

There ain't no answer. There ain't gonna be any answer. There never has been an answer. That's the answer.

Gertrude Stein

[hrtlsngl7]

from annie the mod

 

when you date a nut you will feel like a nut. its ok its not your fault

 

Anne the mod is on point!!! She gives the best advice!!!

[Carus]

If she was able to leave you once she is able to do it again. Why settle for someone who had already shown you that they CAN leave when there is someone out there who WON'T be able to bear the thought of leaving you or you leaving them?

I like it*

 

8-)

[LetLifeFlow]

"It's not you, it's me."

is one of the classics for me.

It really lets you know everything you need to about the other person.

[Carus]

Sometimes you wear the rose-coloured spectacles, sometimes you don't. You can choose which.

 

The truth is usually somewhere in the middle.

I like dat....

 

8-)

[little_buttercup]

"I agree. For me, one of the big things that I allowed me to really let go is accepting that my ex changed. There was no doubt that for a period of time he truly did love me. His actions proved it. But he became a different person at the end of the relationship. Someone who no longer cared about me. It sucks but I can accept that. And because I accepted that, I let go of him. The person he is now isn't the anybody that I care to have in my life." -manicdogbert

 

Here's another great quote:

 

"If anyone reads this thread with hope that your "person" will come back, please, PLEASE don't wish for that. Not because this ex of yours is bad (your ex may be amazing), not because men never come back (both men and women have been known to come back for round 2 and round 3, thank you very much), not because......whatever else you can think of. Wish that you get YOURSELF back. You are all you have. You control you. You can't do anything without you. It is ridiculous to....give yourself up or away for this person who turned their back on you for whatever reason. If you're hurting now, it will be hard to see, but you are important too. You MATTER. You don't need anyone to validate you, or to tell you that you matter, or that you were right and they were wrong, or that they can't live without you and to please take them back. All you need is YOU.

 

It took me some time to get to where I am today, and I still have to remind myself that I matter, my thoughts and opinions matter, that I am not worthless just because some guy tossed me aside (for reasons that I still don't know). It was hard for me to get here, but I did it. If you're reading this and you're weary about now you'll make it, you will. Give yourself time, be patient with yourself. Never forget that YOU MATTER." -QuirkyCute

[Carus]

*Dont grow a wishbone where your backbone should be*

 

Saw that in someone's signature..^^

 

8-)

[little_buttercup]

"No one hurts you without your express permission to do so. The more you blame others for your pain, the more of a victim you will feel, and feeling like a victim is a powerless place.

 

"Accept that things didn't work out, that mistakes were made on both sides, and that nothing lasts forever. Your ex did love and care for you, and his words were not empty.

 

"Attempting to re write history to try to make sense of the pain isn't healthy, and is a way to run away from yourself. ALL your feelings about your ex are valid, even your desire to smack him right now. You are hurt and angry and feel betrayed. That is all normal and healthy and in time you will let all the emotions go, the positive and the not so positive. Just let it all flow through you and move on slowly.

 

"Even if you believe you weren't meant to end like this, he didn't agree, and for now you are broken up.

 

"Accept reality and move slowly forward whilst being gentle to yourself." -sim54

[Carus]

The best way to break no contact is not to break it.

 

There's nothing left for you there but unnecessary pain.

 

Also by "leaving the door open" you're still spinning your wheels in the mud to some extent even though you have made strides in other areas of your life.

Take heed everyone*

 

Ever Forward

Carus* 8-)

[marshmlofluff]

Thanks KB; I'm really glad that I was able to help someone. Well do I remember the breakup that brought me to ENA and inspired me to write that.

 

I've since had another--though it was small peanuts compared to that one, because I've learned a lot in a couple of years. It was eerie to go back and read my own advice!