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WockaWocka last won the day on July 4 2011

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About WockaWocka

  • Birthday 12/04/1977

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  1. Technical question: is there any way to see which posts (by others) we've given a rep point to? There are so many great posts I've loved but I don't seem to have a way to go back to them unless I've bookmarked them (which I haven't In the meantime, a shoutout to Annie24, catfeeder, CAD, TOV, SuperDave et al for some consistently magnificent posts over the years! I'm sure I'm forgetting a few. Cheers
  2. Here's the crux of the issue: where is it written that you deserve a certain amount of time with your bf? Yes you may want to see him a couple times a week. Maybe you want to see him every day five times a day. Heck, maybe you want to be joined at the hip and completely inseparable from him 24/7. But here's the thing: what you want doesn't really matter unless you're his other employer and he's contractually obligated to you. Other than that everything about you and his time is a WANT and not a need or an OBLIGATION. Consider military spouses who spend years without their husbands/wives. Do they want to see them every week? Yes, for the most part. But they can't get that. You wouldn't call up your boyfriend's commander and ask that his tour of duty be ended early because you really deserve more time with him, would you? I certainly hope not. The only thing you could do would be to ask your bf not to re-enlist when he got home. His current job is far from a military deployment, but the same boundaries still apply. Whatever your concerns are about his work hours, his pay, whether or not they really need him on weekends, etc, the most you can really do about it is talk to HIM, not to Zach or anyone else.
  3. You spending time with him is an issue between the two of you. His work obligations are entirely between him and his friends/employers. The family determines what they need or don't need and your opinion doesn't matter in the least. Maybe the 4 adults who work all week want to go out on Saturday nights and your bf can get an extra shift. Frankly it's none of your beeswax why they would need his help on the weekends. Childcare pays very little and the name of the game is availability. Maybe he wants to make sure he's always available so they don't find someone else. The fact that your bf won't or can't make a firm commitment about his weekend plans is frustrating for you, but there's not much you can really do beyond encouraging him to be more assertive as you've already done. If you found out in advance that he couldn't come visit this weekend what other plans would you make instead? I'd suggest making those other plans, that way you're not so hung up on his availability.
  4. But my point was: this is like a woman who wants to be the prettiest and hottest her husband has ever been with. She's eternally jealous of that gorgeous woman he dated in college even though the relationship was meaningless and the sex wasn't that great. And she's also jealous of every beautiful woman she catches her husband checking out on the street. Do you see how pointless this is? Jealousy can really sour a relationship. At a certain point the insecurity itself becomes unattractive. Also, sex is a skill people can get better at over time. Which is why I'd encourage you to talk about it. What does she like, what does she dislike. If my new lovers are willing to explore I can tell them some of my favorite techniques or activities and learn some of their favorite techniques and the new sex can be even more amazing. But both partners have to be open to feedback and new ideas for this to work.
  5. Do men ever fantasize about having sex with some sexy actress or porn star or beautiful woman walking down the street? At some level both types of comparisons (past-present and present-future) are natural to make. Monogamy is a social creation, not a 'natural' one, and I think the majority of us have to suppress the temptation to stray to some extent out of love and because they enjoy the benefits of monogamy: stability, trust, love, sharing a life together, childraising, etc. If you have to feel like you're better-looking or better in bed than your partner's past and potential future lovers then monogamy is going to be a loooooonnnnggg, lonely and insecure road for you. There's always someone more attractive or someone who is/was more endowed or a better lover out there for your partner. With 6 billion of us on the planet, it's near mathematical certainty that no matter what their subjective tastes, there is likely someone in any particular category that your partner might want more. But ideally they're with you for the whole package, not just for sex or looks--we've all seen how quickly a relationship based on sex and looks alone can fade--and their feelings for you enhance the physical attraction and sexual chemistry they feel for you. Having a meaningless ONS doesn't really compare to having sex with a L-T partner who you love and feel safe with, I think back to amazing ONS's I've had and my memory of the sex is often colored by the awkwardness afterward and/or inability to connect on any other level. Similarly, some of the best-looking people in the world are shallow, high-maintenance, and sexually unimaginative. It's initially a 'high' to sleep with them, but during and even afterwards it can be so hollow and not worth it. I'd encourage you to keep learning about your partner's likes and dislikes, maybe even experiment to spice things up a bit. No matter how good a ONS is they will never be able to know you and experiment with you the way a long-term partner can. Keep playing to your advantage! Your partner is with you for a reason. Try to enjoy what you have together and make it the best it can be. Cheers.
  6. It's not universal. Some women don't even like well-endowed guys because it hurts too much. Personally I prefer 'bigger' guys, but I've had great sex with less well-endowed men who were enthusiastic about finding other ways to compensate. If you're concerned about pleasing your partner, then I assume you're already an attentive and generous lover. The next best thing to do is ask her about her sexual fantasies, or things she's always wanted to try. Maybe she's shy and you can buy her a book ("My Secret Garden" is classic, but there are likely more recent others - even a book of erotica could be fun). A partner of either gender who is eager to learn their mate's likes/dislikes and willing to experiment always gets gold stars in my book.
  7. I didn't know about fatty lipoma in dogs.. that makes sense. The parasite scenario is interesting too but usually they burrow near the stomach, right? I guess the part that makes me a bit more pessimistic is that you said they tried to remove it in surgery but couldn't because it's so embedded in her leg. I hope for your (and your dog's!) sake that it's a benign cyst or fatty lipoma. Let us know when you get the biopsy results.
  8. If I'm not mistaken I think this happens in humans too, that you don't feel sick from cancer until it's too late (unless you catch it early and do radiation treatment, which causes a lot of pain). It is possible to have benign lumps but usually they wouldn't be this big or this sudden. But I'm no vet. Sorry, I hope you get the results soon.
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