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Destiny2112

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  • Birthday 12/21/1983

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  1. Unfortunately, can't answer your question, as I have never been the dumper. But I think, gluestick is right. For us, it may seem like a break up out of the blue, but mostly the dumpers have thought about breaking up with us for quite a while already. It also depends a lot on the people involved and their character, the situation, the circumstances, etc. For example, if a third person is involved, then it's probably even easier for the dumpers to move on and keep themselves busy and distracted. I'm not saying it's a healthy behaviour, but I guess a couple of dumpers act that way. Simply to avoid dealing with their feelings and starting to second guess their decision. They prefer having a good time with someone new, exciting (honeymoon phase) instead of having to deal with the old relationship, that didn't meet their needs anymore... But then again, as you say, we can't read their minds... maybe they are truly happier now it's really that easy for them to move on, maybe they are just acting...
  2. I have a story too... I heard about it on TV recently. The 2 singers of the German Hip Hop Band Freundeskreis met in 1999, got married soon after that. Had 2 children in 2001 and 2003. For whatever reason, they seperated and got divorced in 2007. And now, beginning of 2011 they are officially back together!!
  3. Today I heard rumours on the radio, that Rihanna got back together with her ex from 2006 Negus Sealy (Her first love, with whom she was together before she became famous). link removed
  4. Ah, I saved this one on my computer, too. Don't remember, who posted it either: "Life is a series of changes. That's all it is. Resistance to change causes pain. Stop resisting. Once you truly understand and embrace this truth, you not only start to look forward to more changes, you realize even those which feel as if they may be the end of you are for your ultimate happiness. Usually we only see this in hindsight. One day you are going to thank him for this. I promise." A fellow Buddhist
  5. I found this quote here on ENA and saved it on my computer. Unfortunately I don't remember who posted it...anyway, I really like it: You really need to just let go, it may be forever, but more than likely it will not be forever because if you truly believe you had a special connection you can't stay away forever. You will more than likely reconnect in some capacity down the line whether it be a hello, friends or try dating again. For now take comfort in that you did make an effort to work things out. You did make an effort to talk. You did make an effort to let her know how you felt and what you wanted. She didn't want that and now you just have to accept it until one of you change and meet on common ground - if that ever happens. You've done all that you can do, now it's time to leave it in god's hands.
  6. Haha, I always have to laugh when I think of this quote, I found it in one of 22n32 posts...: >>I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate... ...Haha
  7. Well this is not a "and they lived happily ever after" reconciliation- story, but I would still like to post it. My friend M had a boyfriend called S. They were together for 3 years until S suddenly, out of the blue, broke up with M and completely disappeared from her life until this very day. As M found out later, S went back to his ex and they were together for 2 more years until it ended again (I don't know the reasons). S and his ex were in NC during the entire time of his relationship with M. Only at the end of S's relationship with M, he had run into his ex and probably old feelings started to show up again. Well, M was really devastated and heartbroken, but that break up turned out to be a blessing for her eventually, since she has now found the love of her life, F, and is getting married to him on 1 st July. She met him a few months after S had left her. That was 5 years ago now. So reconciliations do happen! And even if that is not always the case, sometimes that's for the best, in order for you to meet the true love of your life. Either way, everything will be fine eventually!!
  8. I am the dumpee and my ex left me for someone else last summer. As posted in another thread, I reached out to my ex for the first time about two months after the break up, hoping he may have changed his mind. Well, he didn't. He replied to my email, but kind of forced me to go NC. He let me know, he was happy with his new girfriend and that she has a problem with him being in touch with me and that he understands her, too. He wished my a nicer future and good luck for my exams (end of this year). Well, I got that message. I haven't heard from him since, nor have I initiated contact again. I still think of him, miss him and have feelings for him, but I know, I have no other choice than sticking to NC, since he is with someone else and I don't want to intefere in their relationship and no matter how much I wished, things were different, I have to accept and respect his choice. There is nothing I can do to change the situation. And I know I can't make him change his mind, nor do I want it, I know, it has to come from within him and not because I convinced him he made a mistake or because he feels guilty or anything like that. Maybe he truly made the right choice and she truly is "the one" for him. Only he will know it one day... it's not in my hands anymore.... I must admit though, that I don't regret having broken NC back then, since it was the final push I needed for me to see it's truly over with us and to focus on my healing and try my best to move on, to see, OK, I have tried everything possible I could, he knows, how I feel about him, but still he sticks to his choice, since it obviously seems to have been the right thing for him to do. Maybe once, in a few years or sth, when I'm fully healed and don't care about him at all anymore, when I don't care whether he replies or what his answer will be, I'll contact him again, I don't know yet. To be honest, I can't imagine ever being friends with him, though. But for now and the nearer future, I don't see any sense in reaching out and initating contact with him once more... what would it change? He has obviously moved on and is happy with someone else and she has a problem with him talking to his ex, which I can understand, too... So I better stay away, disappear, too and let things work out the way they should... who knows what the future holds for me?! And if he ever changed his mind, he knows where he can find me... I think, I have done my part...
  9. Yes, it definetely is a matter of respecting and accepting their decision and give them all the time and space they need and it's a way of "loving" them from afar. If we were in their shoes and in a new relationship, we wouldn't want our ex's to "bother" us all the time either... time will tell, what is going to happen. Probably, once we are fully healed, we wouldn't even take them back or at least wouldn't care anymore if they returned or not....
  10. I guess, if the dumper is in a new relationship, it's better to wait for them to iniciate contact. I wouldn't want to interfere in their relationship... so I would rather wait for them to contact me and then decide if/ how to react to their attempt...
  11. I agree with this! I also believe, that sometimes dumpers say certain things also for their own's sake. I mean, for most dumpers it's not easy either and it does hurt them, too, to leave someone they once loved and to know they are breaking someone elses heart. So saying things like "it's over for good" "I have moved on, etc." may be just a way to convince themselves they made the right choice and maybe they truly belived what they said at that very moment... but how often have I said or done things and really meant it, but over time changed my opinion and view on things... especially when strong emotions are involved it's easy to say things you may regret later.... I also believe, anything is possible...
  12. Yes, these words hurt me badly! On that very last phone call, he also said that I shall never call or write him again I found out later, while he was telling me this, his new gf was standing right beside him... at least that explains, why his voice was extremely cold and distant. I have never ever heard him talking to me with this cold voice, actually, I have never heard him talking like that to anybody else before... what shocked me most wasn't actually what he said, but how he said things... that was the last time I heard his voice, my last memory of his voice... luckily that memory is slowly fading...
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