SA's Healing Journal

[gallop30]

you are making me jealous bro.

 

a 6 pack

 

and a promotion

 

wow.

 

hey Cal,how are you brother? how's everything?

 

you see SA,it's just sad that a certain price needs to be paid to move forward,sometimes we need a smack over the head to do a certain thing,a push in the right direction.

 

that's the problem,too many people get comfortable in the relationship and both partners don't do anything to work towards improving each other or the rel.,and only steps backwards are taken until the break is inevitable.

 

why not go to the gym and look good when in a relationship,why not buy new clothes ,go vacations,work towards promotions when i a relationships,why? because it seems we're doing all those to attract somebody,and once we get them ,we'll get back to the old selves.

 

i hope by paying a higher price we understand that we have to make this changes permanent,for the future,for a better US,and not only to attract the other sex.

[SA2000]

I hear you Gallop. With my previous ex I never stopped going to the gym. It took her a long time to get over me because she never lost that attraction. With my recent ex, she always wanted me to be around her so the gym got put on the back burner. I will never allow that to happen again.

 

I am starting to feel like myself again. All I need is a new apt. I honestly think I could date someone seriously now. It'll never be "S" whose house I'm going to now but I could honestly be happy with someone else now. I have a feeling I won't meet my wife until summer though.

[SA2000]

I'm really starting to develop my not caring skills. I used to be so good at it.

[gallop30]

you sure it wont be until summer?

 

you know what i feel? that's just me,but i think you'll get back with your ex,you want to either prove yourself right (that she's not for you) or wrong(she improved herself and is able to sustain a marriage).

seeing how stubborn you are in general(i'm the same way,nothing wrong with that),that's what i think will happen,you just wait for the right moment.

you're not ready to let go and you know you have something good there,something we don't know.

[SA2000]

As much as that would be interesting I don't see it happening. I don't like who she has become amd I think we are now 2 different people. Our motivations in life have gone separate ways. I feel as though I'm ready for someone new to come along in the next 6 or so months. The hard part is that I am extremely picky so she's got to be up to par. I'm not settling. If it takes longer then 6 months so be it. But my ex has her head way up her ass. Not only can I not deal with that but I also realize that I dont have to.

[Calblee]

Bro Gallop,

 

I am good till the last few days. But i can't wait to get out there to gym, to learn new things and etc just to let time work it wonders on me.

 

Bro SA,

 

Never say never. Life is full of possibilities. Maybe you meet someone really great when you least expect or it could be that your ex and you reconciled. I am feeling you in the sense that it is hard to let go after so many years of memories and the magical what-if-we-were-married. We are so near and yet we are so far from it now.

 

But whatever it is, just bounce back stronger.

[SA2000]

Yeah I hear you Calblee. Now that I am through the hardest parts of the break up and feel fine alone I feel like what is setting me back now is the boredom. I think about how we always had things to do when I was with the ex. That'll all change when I make my next career move though.

[SA2000]

Although I have been missing the ex, the way I miss her seems to change a little more every day. That needy, miss her with every thread of my being feeling, sharp pain has started to dull. Now I miss her companionship more than anything. She knows me better then anyone else. Although we are now in different places I miss having that person that really gets me. At the same time I look back at the time we spent together and think what would we be doing right now if we were together? Probably something boring or something that I am not all that interested in.

 

I remember thinking about how much time we spent with her family. Yeah there were some good times or whatever but we spent A LOT of time with them. To the point where I would be picturing the rest of my life just hanging out with the family. There were times where I just wanted to get away for a little while. Clear my head on a vacation with my buddies. Its not that I loved her less or was sick of her or whatever but I needed a breather. Thats partly why I started to pull away. Now I have that space and I dont love it. I get bored from time to time. I think Id rather have her there then not there. But at the same time I know now where I want and dont want my next situation to go. I lost a lot of myself in that relationship and its all starting to really come back.

 

Although dating has been just OK so far I am excited to get out there once I feel a little more comfortable. Once I move into my own place and get this next promotion I think my freedom will finally start to sink in. I can do what I want when I want. This could be a great time in my life. I need to embrace it. "I'm young, I'm pretty, I hit hard, I'm in the best shape of my life..." Just got to get out there and get back to living. Off to the gym.

[thekid55]

Definitely made some good points here SA. Great point about what you'd be doing now if you two were still together. Same thing with the family. I too lost a lot of myself in my relationship and I've made myself a much better version being alone. Just gotta keep doing what you gotta do and everything will take of the rest.

 

What about meeting women at the gym you go to? I know the gym is a place where both men and women come to get * * * * * done and leave. Not exactly the best place to try to meet someone, but who knows? Maybe that cutie on the stepper is thinking, 'Damn, I wish that SA character would come talk to me!'

[hulk7280]

Definitely made some good points here SA. Great point about what you'd be doing now if you two were still together. Same thing with the family. I too lost a lot of myself in my relationship and I've made myself a much better version being alone. Just gotta keep doing what you gotta do and everything will take of the rest.

 

What about meeting women at the gym you go to? I know the gym is a place where both men and women come to get * * * * * done and leave. Not exactly the best place to try to meet someone, but who knows? Maybe that cutie on the stepper is thinking, 'Damn, I wish that SA character would come talk to me!'

 

lol.. ive met so many women at the gym.. its awesome cause u meet girls who are hot and like to stay in shape..

[SA2000]

Haha. I can't do the gym game. I usually will see a lady outside of the gym and will use it as an easy in. "You go to my gym don't you? Yeah. I see you staring! Haha!" Honestly though I'll let that aspect take care of itself. I've never had a problem on that front. Now that my heads right I realize where I stand. Im just waiting for the one that makes my eyebrows migrate north.

 

Hows it done Hulk? They are all on the treadmills.

[22n32]

I never gotten further then smiles and glances at eachother at the gym.. there all on the treadmill sweating focused or listening to music and not wanting to be bothered..

 

Hulk.

Curios how u pu the ladies at the gym...

[SA2000]

I had a pretty decent day at the gym. I feel like I need to push a little harder or make some changes to my routine. I want to kick it up a notch and get shredded. Anyone know how to lose that last layer of fat? I'm guessing it's mostly diet. I'm not at my ideal weight yet but I want to lean out and then start gaining again.

 

As far as everything else goes I have basically just been keeping busy with work, studying, and the gym. Dating is kind of on the back burner now. I want to focus on other aspects of life. My mood has regulated although after feeling like my insomnia was completely gone I haven't slept well in the past few days. Now I feel as though I am waiting for the next big move in life to happen. I am putting myself in a position for success and trying to be as patient as possible. Good things come to those who wait.

[thekid55]

Limit your sodium intake and drink at least eight bottles of water per day. Gotta keep the fluids moving.

[mrshuma]

diet is 70-80% of it

[SA2000]

I usually eat a protein bar for breakfast followed by fruit at the office, 2 slices of pizza for pre lunch, whatever is offered as the entree at the office for lunch, a protein bar before the gym, and grilled chicken breast for dinner. I also drink 2 cans of redbull and 2 cups of coffee at work. Water is not an issue. I probably have 10-14 glasses a day. I am going to cut the pizza and try to cut back on the cheese. I live in WI though so we thrive on beer and cheese up here. I usually run 3 miles 3-5 times a week.

 

I am going to try to eat breakfast from now on. A bowl of cereal every morning followed by a protein bar. No more pizza and no entrees that are clearly not healthy. Ill try to grab a salad for prelunch and cut all fried foods out which is not really an issue at this point. I dont want to lose any mass but want to get more definition. Should I switch up my cardio or start taking thermogenics? I know cleaning up my diet will help but there is no way in hell I am giving up my Redbull! Thanks for the help on this.

[MakeItCount]

Cut out the pizza completely if you can, and cut down on the cheese. I wouldn't give up my beer either lol.

 

I would recommend having a large breakfast, and just have smaller meals throughout the day. Make sandwiches to bring with you, they are the t!ts. Fruits, veggies, etc. It's a hard habit to get into but if you can start bringing that stuff with you you'll save money and be eating healthier.

 

As far as the cardio, just up it if you can. Run longer. If you can do an hour every time you're at the gym at around 6-7 speed you'll be primo. Have you considered doing the rowing machine? Sick combo of cardio and endurance, you'll tone up in no time.

 

I know you don't wanna give up your redbull, but it's got tons of sugar in it which goes straight to fat since it's simple sugar. Do you drink coffee? If so I'd stick to that instead of redbull it'll also speed up your metabolism.

[SA2000]

I get free lunch at work so I actually save money by not bringing food with me. We have free pizza, a salad bar, a sandwhich bar, and an entree every day. I actually do most of my eating at work. I can cut out the pizza but there is no way in hell I am giving up my Redbull. Screw it. Ill just not be cut then. Haha.

 

I usually dont have time for a big breakfast as I am not a morning person. I can eat a bowl of cereal or two at the office with my energy bar but thats about it. I do drink coffee but I put so much sugar in it that its bearly still a liquid. I am going to start jumping rope as soon as I can to get a different type of cardio in. I dont want to get to the point where I am doing too much cardio and am starting to lose mass though. If I dont workout I usually get skinnier so keeping the weight is my biggest concern. I want to keep the mass I have and get more toned. Its a difficult balance.

[bexalon]

It's been really great to get a male point of view on the whole break-up issue so thanks guys, it's been an education lol!! Definitely gonna start going to the gym again aswell, sounds like it helps a lot. Keep the good work up!! x

[hulk7280]

protein bars are crap! i would cut them out complety and go with a whey protein shake..

 

i would also stick with principle if you cant kill it or grow it dont eat.

 

you dont have to cut out redbull.. just dring the sugar free kind instead..

 

i would also stop running, and go for a fast walk.. like a 10 incline on the treadmill and 3.0 speed do that for about 30 min a day 5-6 days a week..

 

then on the weekends pick a day and eat whatever u want.

[hulk7280]

Haha. I can't do the gym game. I usually will see a lady outside of the gym and will use it as an easy in. "You go to my gym don't you? Yeah. I see you staring! Haha!" Honestly though I'll let that aspect take care of itself. I've never had a problem on that front. Now that my heads right I realize where I stand. Im just waiting for the one that makes my eyebrows migrate north.

 

Hows it done Hulk? They are all on the treadmills.

 

lol I think i could write a book on this..

 

anyway.. they are not ALL on treadmills.. usually the real hotties will be doing some type of machine/free weight excercise..

 

first.. picking a girl out.. go for the ones that have make up on and look dressed to impress to go to the gym.. 9 times out of 10 those are the girls that go to the gym to meet guys.. girls who wear grungy clothes, no make up, etc just wanna work out so be respectful and leave em alone.

 

Next. get there attention.. try and make eye contact and smile when you pass by them..

 

now the next time you see them and they are on some equipment by you.. ask em if you can work in with em, if they need spot.. etc.. and then make some B.S. small talk

 

do not try and ask for her number or anything like that.. but do get a quick 1-2 min convo going..

 

now the next time you see them.. (more then likely if you go to the same gym, at the same time normally u see the same people over and over again)

 

then you say hi.. start a convo.. then make up some b.s. about how its hard to get motivated to workout and wish you had someone to workout with....

 

now try and get her to workout with you next time.. exchange numbers the rest is HISTORY..

 

see this is a way to ask a girl out, without really asking her out....

 

for girls that just use the treadmill and keep there ipod in the whole time, its pretty much pointless.. but you can always go with .. do you just do cardio or do u do any free weights.. etc..

 

the cool thing about the gym.. there are a 100 ways to talk to a girl without looking like your hitting on them, so you breakdown the automatic " * * * * * " shield most girls have on, which is just

 

an automic response since they are used to girls hitting on them all the time..

[MakeItCount]

I've recently started doing stairs for cardio. It sucks, but I love it haha.

 

*running stairs that is, not the stairmaster lol

[Calblee]

"ladies, there is only one thing you need to get a man.

 

it is called the STAIRMASTER."

 

quote from THE UGLY TRUTH.

[SA2000]

Thanks for the tips Hulk. And the tips on picking up the gym ladies. definitely gonna put that to work. That make up thing makes a lot of sense.

 

Bexalon - Glad I could help. I think.

 

I was supposed to attend some event to support "S" tonight but I totally spaced it. I think she's pissed. Whoops. Oh well. I'm not her boyfriend. Yeah we hang out a lot and maybe she felt it was heading that direction but she hasn't texted me in 2 days. Can I get a reminder? Oh well.

 

I've been trying to clean up my diet and stay busier over the last few days. Eating right puts my mind in a better place and staying busy allows me not to really think about where my personal life is headed. I'm not gonna sweat it. I need to keep my focus on work right now anyways. I don't need any added stress. I have been super tired lately for some reason. Maybe I need a day off of work amd the gym. I'm gonna go to bead early tonight.

[SA2000]

Ugh. Now "S" is telling me how she's upset that I didn't show up and support her at some competition she was in. I really don't feel like dealing with this right now. Maybe it'll help get me out of the daze I feel as though I've been in over the last few days. Put me back on my toes. I guess the problem is that although I don't want to hurt her I also don't feel all that guilty about it. I didn't really know it was tonight although I could have easily found out and wouldn't have gone anyways. The point is that I don't need any additional stress. Maybe this will clarify where we stand.