SA2000 Posted February 13, 2011 Author Share Posted February 13, 2011 Not sure why but positive memories have been in my head all night and I am now depressed. I think I need a drink. Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 U and me both. I have nothing but postive memories Poping into my head all night and I'm depressed. And next guy is enjoying the carefree rel with her its making me pissed.. Friends came over drinking and I'm just pissed and on my phone.. I hate this and other girls can't take my mind or replace her.. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 13, 2011 Author Share Posted February 13, 2011 I feel the same way. "S" is blowing me up and begging me to come see her. But no one can seem to replace the ex. Link to comment
Calblee Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 SA2000, I am not trying to be rude but you really should respect S more. The way you write about S in your posts don't give me a good impression of you. You can't stay happy being single by yourself? Don't lead other people on if you are not keen. If you keen, you won't talk like that about S. Just saying. And i write as a friend to you. Good luck with your NC. It only gets easier. Trust me. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 SA2000, I am not trying to be rude but you really should respect S more. The way you write about S in your posts don't give me a good impression of you. You can't stay happy being single by yourself? Don't lead other people on if you are not keen. If you keen, you won't talk like that about S. Just saying. And i write as a friend to you. Good luck with your NC. It only gets easier. Trust me. He's not leading her on. From the way he describes it, he's being super casual with her and you can't blame him for being a desirable male. It's time SA puts himself first and does what's best for him and if that means hanging with this chick, then he's just gotta keep doin' him. The gym is always a good distraction and only benefits us. He's fine. Rather him vent here than anywhere else. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 13, 2011 Author Share Posted February 13, 2011 Calblee - I'm pretty nice to "S" in all honesty. I'm just writing down my thoughts. I'm dating her casually but have been spending more time with her because I have been missing the ex a lot lately. It's like the realization that this is real and permanent is sinking in finally and it's messing with my head. I don't see "S" as the girl I would marry but I can't expect to meet that woman immidiately after losing the person I believed I'd wake up next to for ever. But who knows. When I met my current ex I never would have guessed we'd be together 5 years. Now is my chance to be picky. "S" is a smart girl but she doesn't have a degree which is a mark against her in my book because I had to work hard to get mine and pay for everything myself. We seem to get along and have things in common but not like the ex. We were perfect for each other. I think the only way someone replaces the ex is if I am VERY attracted to them. "S" is very attractive and has a lot of guys chasing her but not my type. So here's the plan. I'll date her casually until it fizzles out in another month or so. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she shows me something and I really learn to like her. For the time being though, shes a rebound. I think she knows that though. If not I'll be sure to let her know. I'm realizing that I need to let go again. I am still holding on to my ex and I need to refocus on moving on. This will take time but I'll get through it. I need to remember why I'm here though. My ex broke up with me a few times over a few months. I was tired of it and couldn't deal with the uncertainty and her actions. As time goes on I start to forget that. When she came calling saying finally that she wanted to work things out it was me who said I was done with her and that she was too flakey. I need to remember that I could have pulled out all of the stops to be with her but I didn't for a reason. That reason is that I shouldn't have to fight to be with someone. I really need to let her go and keep remembering why I endured this pain. Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I wonder why the say never mention who they are dating? I mean I kinda understand.. But if the ex ask are u dating anyone, part of me wants to say its best we don't talk about that. And another part of me wants to yell her to make her jealous a little.. Any thoughts are reasoning behind this Link to comment
thekid55 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I wonder why the say never mention who they are dating? I mean I kinda understand.. But if the ex ask are u dating anyone, part of me wants to say its best we don't talk about that. And another part of me wants to yell her to make her jealous a little.. Any thoughts are reasoning behind this You gotta be honest if they ask. Just a yes or no. No need to get into the nitty gritty. Let their minds wander a bit. They'll wonder if it's serious, casual, etc. You should never mention who they are dating because it shows that you still care too much and comes off as a little jealous. You should be so happy with your life without them that that thought never enters your mind. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 13, 2011 Author Share Posted February 13, 2011 I am at a coffee shop studying for my Financial Advisors license. Its making me miss college a little. I'm contemplating grad school and wondering if what's making me miss the ex lately is boredom mixed with my expectations of post college life. I always thought life would be so easy after graduation. Granted te stresses of a relationship are now gone and I have the freedom to go where I please without having to consider someone else's desires but at the same time I miss having a study buddy who is on my level and has the same intellect. The ex also works in finance and would be really excited to be helping me study right now had we gotten our * * * * together a year ago. I'm gla that I am starting to really progress careerwise and can see a bright future but I also am upset that I am doing it without that person who matches me. As far as dating goes my ex knows who I am seeing. Her friends apparently know this lady and have seen us out together. The ex has no idea if it is serious or not nor would I tell her. If she asks if I'm seeing someone and asks if it's serious I'll ask why she wants to know. I was talking to my Mom today and she asked if the ex knew my expectations as far as what it would take to get back together. I told her that I don't think so. That is an interesting thought. If you're ex came back and said they would do whatever it took would you even know what it would take? I am going to put serious thought to this. Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 Kid and SA.. that makes a lot of sense. Part of me hopes she never calls and part of me hopes we will reunite and be happy together. Chances are slim.. Good luck on ur financial license.. I'm in finance myself Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I don't think it's a good idea to dwell on what would need to change. It just makes you concentrate on them more. You said yourself you have to accept this and move on. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 13, 2011 Author Share Posted February 13, 2011 Lots of finance guys here. Wssup with that? Haha. I know I SHOULD be focussed On moving on and letting go but that doesn't mean I want to. I'm just going to endlessly hold out hope forever and use it as an excuse to be a loner for a long time. I'm an only child raised in a single parent household. This is the perfect opportunity to go against societal norms like getting married and starting a family without appearing strange. I'm going to dwell and hold on forever. I'm like Kid Cudi in Day n Night. Except for the getting stoned part. That kills my thought process. Now I look forward to moving into a position where my salary will take a jump, buying my own place, and living alone for the foreseeable future. If anyone asks I'll just say I lost my solemate and see no reason to attempt to replace her with someone I can never love as much. Problem solved! Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 Its were the money is!!!! haha plus i like numbers and making deals.. i run a hedge fund... Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 13, 2011 Author Share Posted February 13, 2011 Nice. I would love to get into that side if the biz. I work with internal wholesalers. Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 its a good gig ,ups and downs like all jobs. but its 24hr market for me, constantly watching markets from asia-europe-n america.. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 13, 2011 Author Share Posted February 13, 2011 I had a professor who worked in international markets. She had to be able to wake up at any time. That's got to be rough. Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 Def rough and Thats how it was when i first started, sucked.. i have people watching the asia and early european markets and will call me if anything crazy is happening.. i tend to watch only the 5am to about 2pm.. markets.. so its better but still early.. plus dating ladies in my field most are just money hungry.. i dont like!! thats why when i meet my ex she thought i was a regualr joe schmo making nothing and she didnt care about money!!! cheers hope we meet some great ladies to fill the spot of our exes, or least our exes come back changed for the better!!!!! love is tough Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 13, 2011 Author Share Posted February 13, 2011 Man it seems like nothing but really good memories are flooding my head. Hopefully this stops in a few days. Link to comment
DaveTrump Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 Man it seems like nothing but really good memories are flooding my head. Hopefully this stops in a few days. its hard when you first break up. at least you can look back and know you did your best. you should be proud of that. from what I've read you threw yourself into working out. I went the other way, got stuck into my business and expanded. If you're finding the endorphin release just a quick fix (i.e. 3 hr buzz) I'd recommend the work as it is a continuous distraction. Even better do both if you can. Just know that when you're tired you cant work as hard so get a nice balance between the two and go see your friends.. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 Had a pep talk at Moms and feel like a trillion bucks. She makes some valid points. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 At a bar drunk with "S". She's pretty attractive. Not gonna lie. The ex would hate her. 5'7" blonde with a D cup. Ok one Ore beer then I'm out. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Had a pep talk at Moms and feel like a trillion bucks. She makes some valid points. I'm just curious what your mom said. My mom has been the same way, giving me some great advice that is so clear and makes sense. Yet, it's so hard to internalize it all. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 At a bar drunk with "S". She's pretty attractive. Not gonna lie. The ex would hate her. 5'7" blonde with a D cup. Ok one Ore beer then I'm out. Is that the alch talking or the rational part of the mind? To me, she seems like a good time, but lacks the, intellect? from what you describe. You went thru hell with the ex and I don't think you are out of the fire quite yet. Just have fun with blondie. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 My Mom basically said enjoy your life and don't let this woman get you down. She reminded me that I'm relatively young, intelligent, good looking, and have a good career. She's right. Even my exs Mom says shell regret her decision. And it's not that "S" is not inellegent. She just caught me at a bad time. Any perceived faults will be magnified because I'm not over my ex. Link to comment
Calblee Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 My Mom basically said enjoy your life and don't let this woman get you down. She reminded me that I'm relatively young, intelligent, good looking, and have a good career. She's right. Even my exs Mom says shell regret her decision. And it's not that "S" is not inellegent. She just caught me at a bad time. Any perceived faults will be magnified because I'm not over my ex. i want to date you SA2000........... Link to comment
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