Oneironaut Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 SA, in my opinion, you might want to consider cutting "S" loose...she's obviously more into you than you are into her, and at this point, it seems to me that you're just stringing her along, albeit unintentionally. You seem like a really great guy (and if that's you in your avatar pic, then you are also way hot), but from what I've been reading, you know this girl isn't really someone you want a relationship with. Why not let her go, and let her find someone who does want a relationship with her? Edited for a typo. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 You shouldn't feel bad and she shouldn't get mad at you, either. You guys aren't in a relationship, so she can't hold you to certain expectations. Just go with the flow man and if she steps outta line, just next her. Life is too short. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 Oneironaut - I understand where you are coming from and thought the same thing myself. That maybe I should cut her loose because my heads not in it. But at the same time this is kind of how things started with my last ex. She was really interested. I didn't really have intentions of dating her long term. I was more "into" my ex at first though I think. But I'm older and wiser now. I know that she's not what I'm looking for longterm. I have to put myself in the right position first though before I can find that person. And the person in my avatar is Drake. Although we look similar (as you can see in my profile picture) Im not sure if I can take your compliment or not. But thanks anyways. Haha. Kid - Thats kind of the way I feel about it. She's not my girlfriend so I don't really owe her anything. The funny part is that I got a text from her but didn't check it as I was falling asleep. I just checked it now amd it says "don't be mad at me. I just want to see you". Haha. Isn't it funny how when you aren't all that interested they are like this. I got a text from her saying she was disappointed. Now she's texting me telling me not to be mad at her? That makes no sense but OK. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 Woke up this morning and had 3 McGriddles for breakfast. Washed it down with some OJ. For lunch I had 2 double downs and a diet coke. Haha. Just kidding. Link to comment
GetOverItPlz Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 LMFAO. Are you tryin' to die with that type of meal, homie? I'm glad to see you moving along so well. I'm about to start my own healing journal.. about 5 months too late, but I feel like I gotta lot of things to say! Keep it movin', sir. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 GOIP - Yeah it definitely helps. Its helped me stay organized and look back on the process. Although I dont like to look all the way back to the early ugly days it allows you to see your progress. Getting to a point of indifference is the goal here. Link to comment
GetOverItPlz Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Indeed. Also, nice Drake quote in sig. lol. It's funny how the power shifts eventually, isn't it? I wish I woulda found this site earlier on in my life, I woulda had this girl in the palm of my hands... and subsequently, would have been throwing her away Oh well, I'm better now because of all the BS I went through with ol' girl, so I'm glad it went down the way it did. Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 told u man.. this girl thinks about u more then u know.. its gonna take time to do it right though.. 6m-1yr.. what she needs is to date few more guys that wont match up to u.. then that will finally seal the deal with u.. her emotions are coming back around... im not getting ur hopes up.. u know there could always be a chance she is being nosey and wants to see if ur moving on.. either way she cares and thinks about u.. both of u need to date more of other people and that will be the true test if its meant to be.. just my opnion. Link to comment
GetOverItPlz Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 22n32- Interesting take on figuring things out. I think it's accurate, but most people when they hear that their ex is dating other people think "OH LORD THEY DONT CARE ABOUT ME, THEY'VE MOVED ON OH NO" but really... sometimes it's the best thing that could ever happen. In a few months after the initial honeymoon phase is over and they realize this person in front of them is NOT and can NEVER be you... the doubts begin to creep in. Oh no... maybe I made a huge mistake... and then they run back to you. Maybe the same thing happened to you during that time. You dated one or two people and you're like... man, this is not the same caliber of girl I had... maybe we should work on things... Or maybe both of you find out you're not compatible at all, and it's best you're apart. Or maybe even just one of you finds out that things fell apart for a reason and you're happier with new partner....and the other one is stuck rushing back to something that is gone. Hopefully that's always the other partner in that situation lol. But regardless, someone- hopefully both of you- will eventually "win". The key is to grow as a person, and eventually you may grow back together. Or you may outGROW each other. Either outcome is fine, and either outcome is valid. Just strive for your own growth and the right thing will make itself clear eventually. Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Of course i think by dating other people.. u truly get a sense on how deep and real ur feeling was for that other person.. or the new person could be better all around then u at least fig out that it was meant to be and u stop wasting time on something that could end in the future.. i think either way its a win win... but SA2000 situation is a postive one, seems like they have a strong bound, but like my ex she was young when they meet so she wants to explore and see what else is outhere before she settle.. and we all know girls in their 20s its there prime time to meet someone they wanna be with and to have the most fun.. we men can actually have higher stautus and apeal in our 30s and 40s. weres women are based on their attraction level. which is the strongest in their 20s.. its why most gigs happen in the 20s.. and same with my ex.. she knows she is in her prime at 22 so she wants to go explore and see what she can get, because she has guys lining up to be with her.. which will drasticly change in her late 20s and early 30s.. because there will be the new freshmen crop.. haha jk.. but u know what i mean i think its a journey all women take in their 20s.. because they know they can and its the best time to do it.. and they let their emotions guide them either back to u or someone else.. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 I dont think I would have grown as much had this not happened. I felt like I was spinning my tires for a few years there. Now I finally feel as though I am making progress again. The crazy part is that the longer this progresses the more I realize I am just fine all by myself. Give me another year and Ill be in a really good spot in life. I just keep looking forward and smiling. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 I agree with you there 22n32. When I turned 29 I started to feel a little pressure. Like damn is this it? Then I hit 31 and started to get into the same shape I was in at 22 and said Nope. There is a whole lot of good life left. Haha. I think ladies feel that pressure a whole lot more then us guys do. My ex just turned 27. She is probably really starting to feel the heat. As for me though, I would rather be 31 then 21. I am 10000% wiser now. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 I think I may be developing a fan club at the office. Either that or there has been one for a while and I just didnt try to notice. I dont * * * * and eat at the same place but its nice to know. Haha. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I dont think I would have grown as much had this not happened. I felt like I was spinning my tires for a few years there. Now I finally feel as though I am making progress again. The crazy part is that the longer this progresses the more I realize I am just fine all by myself. Give me another year and Ill be in a really good spot in life. I just keep looking forward and smiling. you can't put a time line on that,i think is more a day to day evaluation and progress. i hope it'll be until summer when you get married ,right? Link to comment
thekid55 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I've realized that breakups are always opportunities to grow. It's basically like the Universe saying to you, 'Hey, you've become way too stagnant! Time to up your game!' and that person who meant the most to you, leaves. In a way, that's a good thing because it shows us that we just didn't have our ish together at that time. Just like you, I'm starting to enjoy being alone now. I'm not chasing any girls or anything and I just wanna roll solo for awhile. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 Haha. No I am going to meet my future wife this summer. I wont marry her for atleast another year. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 just the thought of getting married and having kids is so scary sometimes. it feels like another chapter begins and i'm not sure if i'm ready to close this one just yet. there's so much more i need to do,but i might be just excusing myself. i guess if the right women comes along,everything will just start to make sense without analyzing or doubting anything,it will just go on naturally if we start questioning a relationship,a future marriage,and doubting our partner as an equal,where will the next step gonna lead? unhappiness,cheating... love,marriage,relationship should be easy,enjoyable,not a burden,a stress factor,fk that,i'm better off where i am now. i'm not saying a little drama here and there isn't healthy and can spice up a relationship,but i'll be damned if i'm hit with drama uppercuts if i wanna stay there instead of just raise a white flag and get the fk out. redbull diet Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 I hear you Gallop. Thats basically what happened in my situation. I started to feel the pressure. My ex would say things like "Lets just go get married, just the two of us. We can do the whole big thing later." I would freak out and be like "Nah, I want to do it right." but really that was me buying more time. Marriage is scary as hell. I dont want to end up divorced. But is not wanting to get divorced a reason to not get married? We got to a point where there were only 2 choices, get married or break up. Obviously we both chose the latter. I think I will be ready next time around though. Being single can be fun but after a while you have to realize you are here to pass on your seed and to teach a new generation. If you dont pass on your genetic code you basically lost in life. I just want to be sure that my future kids have everything they need in life. Ill work hard now so that way they dont have to later. Hell I already have a college savings plan for the snotty little punks and they dont even exist. How crazy is that? Link to comment
thekid55 Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 Hey SA- I'll need some $$ for grad school (pending my employer paying for it) and I'll definitely be a 'snotty little punk' looking for a free ride from big brother SA Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 26, 2011 Author Share Posted February 26, 2011 Haha. Sorry bro. Fedlaw says I can only give it to a family member or it's taxable. Link to comment
Oneironaut Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 SA, fair enough...I just have a very good friend who is in S.'s position right now...she's been dating a guy for 3 months, and she wants a relationship but he obviously doesn't. I just kind of wish he would cut her loose so she can move on, but he keeps texting her and stuff just enough to keep her hanging on. She's becoming a mess from it. I guess I'm just seeing the other side of it, that's all. Oh, I'd never checked out your profile...you're still hot. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 26, 2011 Author Share Posted February 26, 2011 Fair enough Oneironaut. I've been distancing myself until I can figure out what I really want or what not. The funny part is that the more I distance myself the more she makes herself available. I guess this is that whole push/pull thing in the works. I'm not trying to be like that though. I'm in no position to be in any serious relationship right now. I will be in a few months but not yet. But if it starts to get to the point where I think "S" might start to have legitimate feelings I'll let her go. I doubt it gets that far. Right now I'm just some hot guy. Link to comment
Oneironaut Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 Heh, yeah, amazing how much the push-pull thing works in so many cases...well, either way, you seem like a good guy, so I'm sure you'll do the right thing in the long run. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 26, 2011 Author Share Posted February 26, 2011 Haha. I hope so. Lol. Ok so I'm out and three sheets to the wind (read at barely after 10. A girl who I was interested in at one point just basically grabbed my phone, put her number in it, and called herself. Good start. Now I'm off to another bar. "S" texted me to come by later to cuddle with her later. To which I replied that I was going to come by to pull her hair. It is going to be an interesting night. That's for sure. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 LOL@your reason to edit!! You're good stuff man, glad you're having fun with this. Link to comment
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