SA2000 Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 Good point man. And you're right, I only wish happiness for my ex. I went to prom with this girl in highschool. Iet her when I was 13 and then lost touch for a few years. We reconnected and ended up dating in highschool. We ended up breaking up when she went to the philipines for a month. She came back but we just ended up as friends. We ended up living together with a few other roommates in college for a year. She moved to Miami a year after that. To this day we are still super close. I don't know if that counts but I love the hell out of her. Shes easily my nest female friend by far. And I always have a place to stay in Miami. If you marry your best friend it'd be the ex then her. Ironically they have the same birthday. I couldn't imagine actually dating her now but I definitely love her. It's hard to explain. Really hard to explain to people I'm dating since she's also very attractive. Does that count? I'm sure I'll learn to love the ex in a similar but different way over time. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Love how POIC is getting in DEEP with his emotions tonight. Definitely a fountain of wisdom man. Great points about loving someone from far away. I'm sure all of us want the justification of our exes wanting us back, but we still love them and probably always will. Life is a crazy thing, it's never really what it seems (Day 26). And that's the damn truth. We can never take anything for granted. Tomorrow is not promised so make today the best day possible. Keep grindin guys, this is all for the best. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 I woke up with a strange feeling this morning. Like my mind has solved it's own problems while I was asleep. I feel even more calm then usual. I feel generally content and feel as though I am headed in the right direction. It's like a weight is slowly lifting from my shoulders. I know what I need to do to be successful in life and I realize that I have never needed another person to be happy. Although I am not where I want to be I do know how to get there. Some times you just have to let go. Stop forcing life and reflect on where you have been and are heading. And then allow life to take you there. It's time for a change in mindset. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 i think ,it's time 4 da perculator Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 I know all of the words to that song. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 i bet Kid does know them too,not too many words anyway,haha he seems to like Diddy's going home song.... it's a good start. life is good Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 This whole break up stuff aint getting any easier. Well actually its getting a lot easier but I still dont like dealing with it. I dont know why but this week has been a little on the rough side. Not really bad but its throwing me off a little. I keep thinking back to all of the history we have. Man, 5 years is a lot of memories. Its just crazy to me that we would walk away from that. We had a whole lot of potential. I guess it is what it is but I still think its all stupid. It took me a long time to find her. Itll probably take me some time to forget her too. And now all 5 years are for naught. We would have had some cute ass kids too. I feel bad for everyone elses kids if the ex and I do end up having kids together. They will be some heartbreakers. Our kids would have had your kids on ENA all day! Hahaha. Link to comment
hermano Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I know it's cliche, but those years weren't entirely for nothing. Breakups blow, but they provide a huge opportunity to improve yourself AND to learn about what you want/don't want in the next relationship. And trust me, if you could get with a cute girl before, the odds are BETTER that you'll get with one again... since you've only improved since you met the first. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 Yeah I'm not entirely worried about finding another cute chick in all honesty. I'm more dissapointed that I let myself slip to this point. Im not that far off but I definitely see how I allowed myself to mentally slide to a really weak point over the years. Not as far as a relationship is concerned but just in general. I lost a ton of self confidence and I'm not really sure why. I think I just stopped trying to maintain. I also lost site of my goals in life. I was on top of the world when I met the ex confidence wise. Losing her was hitting bottom. The good news is that I bounce back. Although today I was a little down for some reason on my way to the gym I started to feel really good. I started to feel like this isn't just a tragedy but also an opportunity. My life is not written. This is my chance to go anywhere and do anything. You have to embrace those freedoms in life because they rarely come around if ever. I have the chance to meet someone better then the ex. Im not bound to wherever both of our careers my be. I am completely free to do as I please abd become whoever I want to become. When I look back I get a little sad. But I look forward with a big ass smile! Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 I feel like the song off of the Kid Cudi Demo CD Highs and Lows. I be High. Then I be Low. It seems like I go from feeling great to sh1tty to great. Back and forth. Its been 7 months for christs sake. When do I get to feel good all of the time again? I can say one thing without a doubt though. This has been one of the most important times in my life. I have grown up a ton during this time. Although my drunken episodes from time to time may not reflect it I see where I need to be better. Where my shortcomings are and what I need to do to progress to be a better individual. Thanks ex. I needed this. Link to comment
Wildcars Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I'm very glad to hear that you are healing, and are actually thanking the ex for what she has done.. I hope one day i can get to that point, where i don't blame anyone or anything anymore, and actually say to myself that this is what i needed, to find the next person who might be the right one! Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 Eh, I fogive easily. Its definitely a fault. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 lots of things we do it's just to get that special someone. why can't we do them just for us? because we don't really need them for us,other than to "hook up". we ,as men really need very little for ourselves to be happy,women want all for themselves,more and more. fk em and love em life is good no matter what Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 Thats sad but true Gallop. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 so that means it's time for the perculator,lol spring break ,oh yeah Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 For some reason I have been thinking about this whole situation from a different angle lately. Its as though I am looking at us from the outside as opposed to my own personal point of view. I can see where we both need to grow or what not but I honestly dont know why we havent gotten back together yet. We are seriously so similar. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we are both kind of stubborn (especially her!) and that we feel as though we will prove that we dont need eachother. But whats the point? Link to comment
gallop30 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 i so have the feeling i told you about long time ago that you two will be back someday. either you or she will cave Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 I dunno Gallop. I think shes falling for that douche shes hanging with. And I dont chase em. Learned that lesson with the ex. The first and last lady I ever chase after. Looks like this one is a wrap. Ill never say never though. But if anyones ex ever came back begging and you were ready to take them back what would you say? I would say "Well, well, well. Look who comes crawling back. My how the tables have turned!" but thats only because I am an idiot and make a joke out of everything. Link to comment
22n32 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 SA.. I hear u on that. I looked at us as an outside point of view mainly the info I gathered from the site and diff rel I've read about trying to plug mine in the view.. I actually told her about the site and she read my threads. And its funny everytime I would have in interaction with her I posted. And she said 80% of the answers were false and it didn't mean what she said or did.. She told me bottomline she left because of GIGS which she agreed too. But she relized what she lost. My girl like ur is very stubborn and she didn't have the guts to come back and admitt what she did.. I asked so why did u, and she told me because I kept trying and showing her thst I love her and what she means too me.. even though everyone said NC I did the opposite. And she said if I didn't try she would of thought I forgot and I was mad and she would of never tried to come back. I think this really shows. All scenarios are diff and NC is only for healing u really have to reach out and try if u believe what u had was strong enough to survive everything.. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 why do you think she's falling for him? i always broke up last in any relationship,so i'm not sure what i'll say since i don't want them back other than for sex which doesn't count. so in my case i'll ask how's the avocado? Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 That sounds exactly like my situation. I didnt do the NC and she came back. I stayed in touch and never went more then 3 days without speaking to her. But we still ended up in the same spot. I honestly hope your situation is nothing like mine. She then said that something was missing a month later. After a few more break up make ups and the other guy texting her once a week I said eff it. When she broke up with me the last time I didnt talk to her for 2 weeks. In the meantime she went to two weddings with the other dude. Maybe had I not gone NC it would have been me at those wedding but by then I was like screw it. I dont want to be breaking up and making up all of the damn time. I knew she had to really miss me for things to work out. If I stuck around it was going to be back and forth. I could try to outlast the other guy but screw that. I love the hell out of her but I am not going to live a life of misery. So the moral to the story is if she leaves again then you gotta let her go. If she comes back you have to put her through boot camp to make sure shes mentally fit. Hopefully it doesnt get that far. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 Gallop - I dunno. Just an assumption. Probably because she hasnt come crawling back yet. Of course I wasnt ready for her to come back before. I dont know if Ill ever be ready though. I am pretty torn at this point. Part of me would love to have our beautiful children that would surely rule the world based on looks alone and part of me says screw it. Its more of a headache then I care to deal with. Nice on the hows the avacado. I am almost to that point. Link to comment
22n32 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I meet up with her 3 times in 2 months.. first month we would talk once a week and every other day i would send her a stupid drunk text or whatever.. and i did 2 weeks of NC at the end.. i agree if she leaves again its over for good.. its only day 3.. will see what the next few weeks and months bring.. and what her action and behavior will be like.. im not putting to much into it just going with the flow.. and im prepared if she does leave again and i will know she is not the right girl for me... Have u tried reaching out to ur ex.. just letting her know whats up.. i know she knows and u have been letting her come to u and playing it non chalant.. i dont know im a go getter i dont stop till i have what i want. its how i have everything in my life.. i just think lot of girls like my ex. will be to stuborn to come to us and would rather wait for us and contuine living there life, because either way to them u or new guy its fun to them.. but if ur special and one of a kinda like my ex saw me she will be more forth coming.. i dont really know either. u know ur ex and ur dynamic better then any of us.. maybe ur ex hates her new guy and she is putting up a front too not look like SA was right Link to comment
gallop30 Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Gallop - I dunno. Just an assumption. Probably because she hasnt come crawling back yet. Of course I wasnt ready for her to come back before. I dont know if Ill ever be ready though. I am pretty torn at this point. Part of me would love to have our beautiful children that would surely rule the world based on looks alone and part of me says screw it. Its more of a headache then I care to deal with. Nice on the hows the avacado. I am almost to that point. yeah but that doesn't mean she's happy with her new man. women do this all the time to mask their unhappiness ,they're not like men who throw things around and act like a Neanderthaler,they put a fake smile and post million happy facebook pics. and hook up with some random dudes to enforce their "oh my, i'm so happy". some even rub it in the exes face "look how fkn happy i am". life's good Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Share Posted March 3, 2011 I have actually thought that in the past. Like she is just trying to prove a point which I definitely would not put past her. But the only way to be sure that this doesnt happen again is to do the opposite. You see if I chase her she knows how to get me to chase her. If she tries to get me to chase her and I shrug and walk away, well then that didnt work. I dont want to spend my whole life chasing her. Another issue is with her family. Her mom used to leave her step dad and make him chase her and buy her things to get her to return. It worked every time. Well it worked until he got abusive and she left for good but you get my point. So thats where the hard part lies in these breakups. If they leave and you chase them you are screwed because you are promoting thier behavior. If they leave and you dont chase them and they are stubborn like my ex then they never come back. You are screwed either way! If they leave and you dont chase them and they DO come back, well then like Charlie Sheen says, You are WINNING! It sounds like both of our exs need to mature a little. Part of that process which I had to learn as well is that there are consequences for your actions. If that means you stay with the new guy, then fine. Lesson learned for us both. But I am not going to chase anyone. I have asthma. I hope your ex sees the light before its too late. But dont be that guy. You know what I mean. Link to comment
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