SA2000 Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 For those who don't know I broke up with my ex fiance of 5+ years 6 months ago. She has remained in light contact up until about 3 weeks ago and has been dating someone for around 4-5 months. We broke up due to GIGS and I immediately went NIC (Not initiating contact). I am now healing quite nicely in the longest period of NC thanks to a great support system of friends and family, working out regularly, and getting a promotion. I have been dating a little but nothing serious. Although most posts could go in a "dating" thread this is going to be about my process from the 6 month point on. I may post a lot and may have typos thanks to my iPhone. Hopefully some of my triumphs and mistakes can help others or atleast be an entertaining read. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 I went out last night for a few hours. For the first time in a long time I felt like I wasnt forcing myself. Normally I feel as though I'm forcing a smile and drinking to numb myself but something was different last night. I literally got two steps into the bar and was looking for my buddy and a lady approaches me. She's like hey. I saw you walk in and thought you were really cute so I figured I'd come say hi. Ok. Good start to the night. She was cute but not my type. I introduced myself and talke to her for a minute. She asked how old I am to which I replied "How old do I look?" she said 25. That's the second time this week someone said I look 25. Score. She was 23 so a little younger then I prefer. She asked if we could exchange numbers. I told her that I was going to grab a drink but I'd come talk to her before I left. I was being polite. I then went to another bar accross the street and had 3 of the best Vodka Gimlets I have ever had. I woke up thinking about how great they were. I don't have much of a hangover either. Nice. As usual I missed the ex the most in the morning after a night out but not asuch as usual. I took a few moments to reflect. As I looked up at the ceiling I realized that I am not all that miserable. Yeah things could be better but I am starting to like being alone. I can be selfish as hell! No one telling me what I have to do or whatever. Its kind of nice sometimes. I know I am a few years away from being completely healed or whatever but I do feel good today. It seems as though the sun is coming out again. I still wonder why we are here but I'd say that I am in a better place then I have been in in years. I am in better shape then I was in at 25 and am getting comfortable in my skin again. I have a career that is respectable and will allow me to live a relatively comfortable life. My hobby (small biz) is growing organically just like i envisioned and my mood is back to normal. I feel as though I am not faking confidence or whatever but that I am becoming me again. When you stop trying to be someone else or stop trying to act ways that don't represent who you are you start to develop am inner peace. Atleast I do. Life is getting better. It feels as though the stresses of a relationship are getting out of my system which feels great. I hope this continues. Link to comment
HESJUSTSTUPID Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 You said that you broke up with your ex due to GIGs? Did you have someone in the picture or just wanted to see what else was there? If you miss your ex so much why won't you contact her? Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 She broke up with me due to GIGS. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 I am contemplating going out tonight but don't want to deal with the depression tomorrow. The girl I was seeing a few weeks ago hasn't been texting me which is strange. I'm ok with that though. There's a new girl so that works. I didn't really like her anyways. She wasn't up to snuff and I seem to be getting pickier as time goes on. The new new girl wants me to visit her at the bar she works at but I don't want to hang out there. Its not my type of place and I would like to meet like new people which wouldn't be happening. I had fun last night so maybe I'll go where I was then. Or I might stay in and hang out with my buddy, his wife, and 3 kids. Not too exciting but I love hanging out over there. The kids love me like an uncle. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 Went out really late again tonight and again had a good time. I went to a bar that one of the new girls works at. At first it was awkward because I was there by myself but then I ran into her friend. Then one of my good buddies showed up so it worked out really well. I also saw a lady I was talking to last night. It turns out that she also has a finance degree and has more licensing then I do. I am attracted to smart girls. We talked shop for like an hour so that was cool. Over all it was an up and down day but I have a date with new new girl tomorrow. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 Everyone has their own way of healing. I know when I'm really healing when I become a gym rat. I'm on 4 days in a row and 6 of the last 8. The gym is THE BEST place when your head is not in the right place. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Everyone has their own way of healing. I know when I'm really healing when I become a gym rat. I'm on 4 days in a row and 6 of the last 8. The gym is THE BEST place when your head is not in the right place. Couldn't agree with you more here. I literally go everyday now. One day cardio, the next day weights. Glad to see that you've joined the Healing Journal movement. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 I'm out with new girl 2. I actually like this one. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 So I went out with "S" last night. She was the first girl I started talking to after the first BU back in December 09. I was back with the ex weeks later though so that was that. She is pretty cool though. We had a lot of fun and just took it easy. At the end of the night I walked her to her door and kissed her goodnight. She didn't invite me in which I honestly like. I have to work in the a.m. so that might be why but I don't like ladies who want me to spend the night after 1 date. I'll probably see ger again next weekend. She's a cool chick. I can't say I'd jump into a rel with her but I shouldn't be thinking that way yet anyways. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Sounds like a fun date. See what happens going forward. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 I texted her that my parking spot was snowed in so I'd have to spend the night at her house. She responded "Okay!!!" Haha. Nice. I'm not gonna go though because I'm too cool. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 I skipped the gym today to throw my buddies kids around. I literally can't wait to get in tomorrow. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 It has been snowing pretty bad here and we are supposed to get absolutely pounded in the next few days. I was driving home this morning (ended up going to new girls house pretty late but fell asleep. Haha.) and heard a sound come from my phone that I was not familiar with. I forgot that I changed my exs text tone. I look at my phone like WhThF? and it says "Be careful today and tomorrow." I didnt respond. We are on day 23 of NC I believe. At first I thought about saying "You too." but then decided to just leave it be. I dont really feel like dealing with that anymore. Way more stress then I feel like dealing with. I am more concerned with how much energy Ill have at the gym today. I am on like 4 hours sleep if that. What would you do/have done if you were me? Link to comment
Jewels7 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Not reply!! You're doing the right thing!! Have fun at the gym. I haven't been since Saturday and it's bothering me. Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 dude thats what they do.. they send out some silly text that doesnt mean anything to test the waters.. my ex did the same thing.. she sent me a pic to flyer about a tv show i like to watch (spartacus).... stay NC bro.. nothing good is going to come out of talking to her, but reassuring her that your still their.. let her new BF reassure her.. its not your job anymore! Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 I dont really feel like going to new girls house tonight. I am going to go since she is cooking me dinner but I will probably just go home after the movie. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 What would you do/have done if you were me? "Be careful today and tomorrow." i would've replied saying "why? are you on the streets driving?" Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Hahahahahhahhaha. Dude. Great to hear SA. Rmemeber when you were on day 7 and wanted to text her? Atta boy. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 you almost owed us a round of drinks,remember? don't reply ,of course not. it's funny how she tells you that nonsense,does she think you're blind or something? it almost sounds like this"watch out ,don't walk on left side of Oleander street,there's a big dog s..t. be careful not to step in it". Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 thats what women do.. they are too proud to just tell you how they feel.. they just give you some send you some BS to contact you Link to comment
C_Unknown2005 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 thats what women do.. they are too proud to just tell you how they feel.. they just give you some send you some BS to contact you I agree with this Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 3, 2011 Author Share Posted February 3, 2011 Yeah I never responded to the ex. Haven't heard from her since. So last night I ended up going to new girl's. She cooked me one of my favorite dishes and then we watched my favorite movie. We were in the middle of a blizzard like no other so I ended up staying at her house. I woke up early and left her place. She didn't have to work because the entire city is shut down due to the snowpocolypse. I ended up going to her house later and digging her car out of the 5 feet it was buried in. She asked if I wanted to park my car in the lot she was moving her car to which was an invite to spend the night again. I declined and left to go hang out with a buddy. Although I like her MUCH more then the last one I'm not ready for anything too serious and dont want to set unrealistic expectations. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted February 3, 2011 Author Share Posted February 3, 2011 And I'm sure that the ex was putting a feeler out or whatever but I'm healing pretty damn well now. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 is your bday in november too? Link to comment
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