Would you be willing to date someone who doesn't work?

[renaissancewoman101]

Getting help from your parents is NOT really a barrier to dating. I know a lot of people who have moved back home because of a job loss or a decrease in income.

 

I would think most people would be understanding, esp since the unemployment rate is so high nowadays.

[LightbulbSun]

Okay, well I'm not sure about the community college I'm going to (I think they have a web radio, but not a regular one), but I know the big University that's nearby has one (my friend used to work as a DJ there once.) I'll find out some info, and see if I can get some work experience there.

 

 

 

You're right, and I understand that. I know I couldn't fully support myself. It just makes me feel less independent that I'm not supporting myself at all, and that my mom has to pay for my college, my apartment bills, my cable and internet bills, and for food (I don't drive, so I don't have to worry about car or gas bills.)

 

And maybe you're right, however, like I've said before, I'm getting near the big 3-0. I'll be 28 in a couple months time, and that's only 2 years from being the 30 year old virgin (who has never kissed or been on a date.) I realize that there's much more to life than dating, but I'd at least like 'one' shot at bat.

[Go Habs Go]

If you're in the process of looking and as long as you don't mooch off your parents, it's fine.

[lila...]

The circumstances matter a lot. I definitely would because I understand that some full-time college students either don't have the time to or simply can't handle working and studying at the same time. Ambition and drive matter more to me. Like others have mentioned, as long as he wasn't sitting on his lazy butt all day playing video games or watching tv, then it's ok.

I don't work either, and I've had no problems from the guys I've dated.

[LonelyPast]

It's nice to think that women will see the ambition and potential in you, but they ultimately tend to focus more on the present circumstances. I got a very late start, so at 26 I'm still only half way through my sophomore year. I live with 2 roommates, I have no car, and I don't have a whole lot of extra money. I do work part time as a math and writing tutor on campus, but it's hardly enough to even pay for dates.

 

Women my age tend to already be in the professional workplace and often have the money to travel and indulge. When they find out that they'll have to drive me home at the end of the date it's an immediate turn-off. They pretty much seem to expect somebody to be playing at their level and I'm just not there yet. Sure, through hard work and perseverance I'll be successful and independent in 3 years, but nobody is going to wait that long. They might even see the potential in me, but why would they bother when there are a dozen professional single men already knocking on their doors?

 

On the other end of the spectrum there are the 18 year old girls that I'm surrounded by on campus who are too young for me and at completely different points in their lives maturity wise. I feel like a dirty old man sometimes, but I'm almost tempted to start hitting on them since they won't hold me to the unmatchable standards that women my own age will.

 

This all sucks very much, and I'm more than open to exceptions, but at the moment I pretty much feel stuck! Let me know if you figure it out!

[newwave]

What about if they have had a string of retail jobs that pay around $7.50 an hour (or in the case of the last one, $8.50 an hour?) I have plenty of work experience, and haven't been sitting on my ass. I've also been going to college off and on, so I'm not a brand new college student. I'm currently on my fourth major (the other three, I discovered, weren't really for me), but I've found something I'm excited about, so I'm going to get my degree in Audio/Video.

 

When I was younger, it wasn't really expected of me to be making lots of money. I could understand if I was 35 and was in this position; however, I'm 27. By the time I'm 35, I'll have my degree and a few years work experience under my belt (hopefully.) Do the same rules apply to me as to someone who's 10 years older?

 

 

To me 27 is still young so me personally would give someone slack in their 20's. I knew many people then who still didn't know what they wanted. I was somewhat of a slacker at that age too. I'm 39 now and if I met a guy who was around my age with a string of those jobs I'd think twice, unless there was a reason (for instance lost their professional job). With college it also depends. For instance if you were a "career college" student (you know the type) that would be different than going part time or switching fields a few times (I did this).

[annie24]

LBS - i wouldn't worry. the key thing is that you are getting an education and working on bettering yourself and you have goals. that to me is the most important thing in a man, not what his specific degree is in, or how long he has been working. you are a full time student, you are not expected to work. presumably, you should be focusing on your studies to get good grades and scholarships. just focus on yourself.

[Shudder]

So.. how does she pay rent?

 

lives withe her parents

[laboheme]

Although I'm out of college and would no longer consider dating a college student, here's my take on things if I were in a position to date one.

 

For a college student, I'd base my decision on whether or not he WANTED a job rather than on whether or not he HAD a job. If he is trying hard to find a job (and it seems that you're doing just that) but simply can't get one because of the economy, then no, it's not a relationship killer at all. If he doesn't even want a job, that's it, next!

 

This has nothing to do with money at all. I would not even consider dating the entitled type who, with his parents' money, could buy me all the fancy martinis I could ever want. I would much rather date someone who can barely afford a beer during happy hour because he's working to put himself through school.

 

In general, I think college students should be required to work -- not necessarily to make money, but just to learn something about responsibility. I would, however, make exceptions in certain cases: if the student is incredibly involved with some kind of extracurricular activity (some of which take up a lot of time and should basically be considered work!), is having a particularly strenuous semester (writing a thesis, or taking several lab courses), maybe has a medical issue that temporarily prevents him from working, etc. Note that in those scenarios, the student may still WANT to work, just not be able to due to other constraints. Not being able to find a job because of the economy is exactly like that.

 

So, in my book, as long as you're looking for a job (instead of using your status as a college student as an excuse for not having one), you're all good even if you can't find that job right now.

[LightbulbSun]

Well, I went out job hunting today, and picked up a stack of applications. I'm not going to go down without a fight!

[BriarRose]

How long have you been out of work?

[LightbulbSun]

How long have you been out of work?

 

I last worked in 2008. The reason why I left my job was that an elderly family member got sick, and so I left employment to stay home and take care of her. I did that for a year, then moved into my own apartment and started going to school in the general location of my new apartment.

 

Now I regret leaving my job, although I'm sure that, in a heartbeat, I'd get hired back if they needed someone. I've left all of my past jobs for reasons like 'going back to school, taking care of family member, etc,' and have left all of my past jobs in good status. I really haven't tried until recently to get a job, because I've had other priorities; however, it just doesn't feel right to not work anymore.

 

In fact, one of my past jobs from 3 years ago was clamoring to hire me back earlier this year...however, I couldn't work then. And now that I'm ready to work, they don't have any positions open. I'm meeting with the guy who hired me back then tomorrow, and he said that he might be able to get something done...but no promises.

 

Regardless, I feel more optimistic now. For a while, I really wasn't trying to get a job...because I was going to school full time. Now, I think I've got enough leeway in my studies that I can work.

[BriarRose]

If you are a full-time student, I think it's okay...

[Capricorn3]

I last worked in 2008.

I did that for a year, then moved into my own apartment and started going to school in the general location of my new apartment.

 

I really haven't tried until recently to get a job,

You say you haven't worked since 2008. I can't help being curious how you pay rent and utilities for your apartment for the past 2 years with no job and no money coming in..

[LightbulbSun]

You say you haven't worked since 2008. I can't help being curious how you pay rent and utilities for your apartment for the past 2 years with no job and no money coming in..

 

I already said earlier in this thread that my mom is paying for my rent and utilities, if I get good grades. However, I don't like that, and want to contribute to my rent and utilities...hence getting a job.

[Capricorn3]

I already said earlier in this thread that my mom is paying for my rent and utilities,

Ooops, my mistake. I more or less read your first and last post, but not much in between. Sorry.

[Fudgie]

I personally wouldn't date someone who didn't have a job.

 

I'm a full-time college student as well and work my butt off. Sometimes money is tight, so I'd much rather date a guy who does work because then we can do fun things together and money isn't an issue.

 

Luckily, my S.O. loves his job and has been working there for 40 years with decent raises. It's not that I'm a gold-digger (he rarely buys me stuff!) but I don't like having to worry about paying for things when we go out and he always helps me cover the gas money that I use when I go to see him from school.

[pl3asehelp]

Sure, of course. As long as they aren't mooching off other people to support themselves. Maybe they have some savings and they're taking a break from work, or like your situation, a student. I don't connect well with people who have their job as their highest priority in life. It's just a means to support the real you.

[tiredofvampires]

Well, I went out job hunting today, and picked up a stack of applications. I'm not going to go down without a fight!

 

The reason why I left my job was that an elderly family member got sick, and so I left employment to stay home and take care of her.

 

You're motivated, ambitious, you're trying to better yourself and find your right calling, a job that'll make you happiest, and working hard at that goal -- AND you left jobs for reasons that are only honorable, like looking after family.

 

This all would actually recommend you as a date in my books, stacked up against any other inconveniences or disadvantages.

 

I would look for those qualities in a guy if he was in his 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's and hurting for money.

 

Attitude and effort is everything.

[bulletproof]

Have you applied for FAFSA? Google it and apply. There's a very good chance you would get money, and since it's community college, that money would probably go pretty far.

 

Overall, whether someone works or not isn't the issue when I'm deciding to date him or not. What would turn me off is the victimization- yes, the economy is bad, but some people do manage, and you just have to figure out how by being a little more aggressive/creative.

[honexx]

I wont date a jobless person but I will just make friends to him.. but not in a romantic way... just be a friend.. nothing more. nothing less

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I have seen far too many people who have lost their jobs decide to just goof off and not look very hard for a job until their unemployment benefits are close to ending. I see them going on vacations and saying "I paid into unemployment insurance and therefore I deserve a break". To me that is a very bad attitude...collecting unemployment insurance should be something a person wants to end as quickly as possible...it is not something they should abuse. If I was already dating someone who then lost his job that is one thing..but I would not start to date someone who is currently jobless...I would want to see what their work ethic is like and that they are leaving no stone unturned in their job search.

[BriarRose]

Not having a job since 2008 and having your mom pay your rent is definitely going to crimp your dating life - period. Especially at your age - but you are a full-time student (is that correct?), so just focus on your studies so you can get a good job after graduation.

[LightbulbSun]

Not having a job since 2008 and having your mom pay your rent is definitely going to crimp your dating life - period. Especially at your age - but you are a full-time student (is that correct?), so just focus on your studies so you can get a good job after graduation.

 

Well, I'm making it a goal to try to get a job. It's not like I don't want to work.

 

I'm filling out job applications over the weekend, and turning them in on Monday. And also going to pick up more applications on Monday.

 

Frankly, someone who would turn me down for not working, when it's clear that I want to work, much more than other people who DO have jobs...that kind of person is probably not worth knowing or giving a rat's ass about.

[xLovelyxIrisx]

Just out of curiosity... Would you ever ask a man out and treat him to dinner on a first date?

 

No, probably not. Lol.