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Would you be willing to date someone who doesn't work?

LightbulbSun

By LightbulbSun
in Dating Advice

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LightbulbSun Rising Star

LightbulbSun

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I've been trying to get a job for a while now. I'm a college student, 3/4ths the way through my freshman year.

 

Anyway, I just got turned down for another job, and this was one that I was kind of promised last November when I first applied (I said I couldn't work, they said call back when I can, now they don't want to hire me.) I've applied to so many places that haven't called me back, and I'm starting to lose hope.

 

Anyway, is being out of a job a relationship killer? In this economy, it seems to be extremely hard to get a part-time job. Whenever I've gone out and looked for a job before, I've found one almost right away...this time, months later, I'm still stuck in the jobless position.

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annie24 Grand Master

annie24

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if you are a full time student, no i wouldn't expect you to have a job.

 

when i was in college, i did work some part time jobs, but i didn't do it for the money, but for the references and experience. as in, i chose jobs that were related to my major, like working in a laboratory. i would look around for work opportunities/apprenticeships in your major.

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Sunny1607307996 Apprentice

Sunny1607307996

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No, as a full-time college student you are not expected to have a job. It's not like you sit at home and play xbox all day--- you go to class, you study, etc.

 

I think it would be a good idea to have a part-time job if you can find one and not compromise your studies, but I don't think not having a job should adversely affect your dating life. Other than the fact that you won't have any money for dates! But you will have more time to spend with a SO if you are not working.

 

As far as experience goes, you can always try volunteering to build up your resume. Especially for a competitive field like yours, a company may be willing to let you come and do some volunteer work/job shadowing or an unpaid internship. If they like you this may lead to a job.

 

At my university we have our own radio station. If there is one at your school try to get involved there or start one up!

 

But no, in your circumstance I doubt any potential girlfriends would hold not having a job against you.

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LightbulbSun Rising Star

LightbulbSun

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LBS, I understand why you're having a hard time. Being an older student is rough and lonely.

 

Yes it is. I can't relate to the younger crowd (18-21 years old), and it doesn't help that I look about 17, so people assume that I'm younger than them (even though I'm 27.)

 

I tried growing a beard, but once again, I cut it off. It just didn't feel right.

 

I'll look around at radio stations in the area, and see if I can get a job working for one of them. I'm good friends with a DJ at a classic rock radio station; maybe he can pull some strings and get me a job? At this point, I don't care if I'm getting paid big bucks, because I live in a cheap apartment and I don't really buy all that much.

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orchidrose Collaborator

orchidrose

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Wouldn't bother me if you were a full-time student. But, frankly, I'd have trouble dating an older full-time student again. I'm two years out of college now and it was tough having to readjust to that lifestyle (staying up late, drinking a lot) for the benefit of my ex.

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Cognitive_Canine Enthusiast

Cognitive_Canine

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Probably not. How would that person ever be able to take me out on a date? By making me pay?

 

Just out of curiosity... Would you ever ask a man out and treat him to dinner on a first date?

 

We're about to have a situation.

 

LovelyIris, you'll find that a majority of people on ENA are all about equality.

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browneyedgirl36 Rising Star

browneyedgirl36

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At my age, no, I wouldn't, because I would expect that a guy in my age range (35-55-ish) would have a job, and while I am capable of supporting myself and do not expect anyone to support me, I also don't want to support someone that I am dating. I don't mind paying for dinners and movies and such, and half of vacation costs, etc., but...buying him gas, paying his car insurance, paying his bills...nope.

 

Now, in your case, being a full-time student is totally different, even though you are "older" than your peers at college. If I were younger, and a guy I liked and wanted to date was a full-time student, working toward a degree, I would much rather him focus on his studies and be a "starving student" than work and take too much time away from his education.

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renaissancewoman101 Grand Master

renaissancewoman101

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Right now I am unemployed (lost my job earlier this year). I want to date again and I understand your worries. I worry if guys would want to date me, considering I don't have a job.

 

I am NOT looking for a guy to support me. Never have. With most of the guys I date or have had long-term relationships with, I tended to pay for a lot of things.

 

On the other hand, I don't mind dating someone who is unemployed BUT LOOKING for a job or going to school full-time. If you are just bumming around, not looking, or doing things to improve oneself, then probably not.

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LightbulbSun Rising Star

LightbulbSun

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In my case, it's not that I don't want to work. Like I said, I'm looking for a part-time job. And I would be open to working at a fast food restaurant (there's a Big Boy down the street from me, so I could definitely see myself working there), and there's tons of places I haven't applied yet.

 

My mom has agreed to pay for my apartment and utility and food while I'm going to school, so I can live down here. That's great and all, but I feel a little embarrassed by it. It would be even more embarrassing if I was 27 and still living in my mom's house, but I want to pay for my own bills.

 

I've put dating on the back burner until I get a part-time job for that reason. I just don't see a girl being too thrilled with me living off my parent's money, even if I am living on my own.

 

So I can understand why women don't want to date a guy who doesn't work. I'm just saying that, it's not as easy as before George W destroyed the economy, to find a little part-time job. I remember all the previous jobs I had, I walked in and they just hired me. Seems like everyone now is clamoring for the same jobs, because everyone is out of work, so it's not easy competing against half a dozen other people or more.

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newwave Community Regular

newwave

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It depends on why they are unemployed. In this economy there are many qualified people who are unemployed/underemployed. Many people have been unemployed for a few years through no fault of their own. However, if they have never worked, had a string of low paying jobs, etc then that's another story.

 

 

 

I'll look around at radio stations in the area, and see if I can get a job working for one of them. I'm good friends with a DJ at a classic rock radio station; maybe he can pull some strings and get me a job? At this point, I don't care if I'm getting paid big bucks, because I live in a cheap apartment and I don't really buy all that much.

 

No, not a regular station, a COLLEGE one. Local stations will not hire you unless you are a radio person. I used to work in radio (including several Chicago stations) and you can't just walk in to get a job. Even internships are through college (and these are unpaid). There are MANY unemployed radio people, no way would they hire someone without experience.

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