Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Honeycomb8]

I don't know why we talk more often now than we did in the last few weeks. Miss ya.

[Golfguy24]

I miss you but I hate you now. You pretended to keep loving me for the last few months so I wouldn’t hurt myself. I’ve been with you for the last 4 years and now I’m alone. It sucks. But I’m happy I’m done loving someone who doesn’t love me back. I hope you’re enjoying being single and going out getting drunk all the time with some new guys like you told me you like. I hope you’re happy now, because I’m not.

[Honeycomb8]

You have been on my mind a lot the last few days.

I genuinely miss you.

 

URGHHHHHH

[Fettsei]

I miss your mom. I want to call her and check on her. We spent so many times tending to her. I love you B....

[Fettsei]

I know you have treated me with Narcissitic tendencies. I see the patterns, cycles, and I don't want to believe that I was in love with a facade. Yet it seems this is the case.

 

If only you would call and tear apart the heart wrenching resonance of your indifference towards me. It seems as if though I had done some unspeakable act against you. You treat me like a far off stranger. All I did was love you unconditionally...

 

I know somewhere deep down inside is the woman who was loving...Before your wounds from your ex husband. I unknowingly stepped into the role of a viscous weapon the two of you forged to hurt one another.

 

I served my purpose and have been discarded as an empty fuel tank. I gave you my heart that I had so diligently pieced together in reservation for someone special. My heart will never be the same.

 

I have to reach deep in myself farther than ever before to rebuild this heart. Another 50 years or so before me, God willing...I am not sure if I will offer to another woman.

 

I have no idea if there's a woman who will truly love me as I am. I see nothing beyond today and the moment. Only my kids now in my sight, hold my gaze.

 

My son will not see the blended family I had hoped to provide. He's approaching 15. My daughter may still have time....The clock slips away. My son will only see his Dad without a female companion at the table. My dreams of having a family from my childhood have died.

 

The food is still made. The meals are prepared. The drinks are poured. Yet nothing tastes as it once did.

 

They're aren't as many laughs. I continue to pour myself out like water. On the weeks without my kids I run till I tire, I workout, I go out reluctantly, and then I sleep. I rest like I've lived a thousand lives.

 

I dream of you B...and I know as the days go on its most likely a facade that I love. Too good to be true...and yet, in my prayers, I feel God tell me somehow that you..the real you is deep inside your facade and somehow I did touch your life.

 

If only I held your heart as you held mine.

[Chelsea54]

This morning, again,when I woke up I was I the middle of a dream that you just asked me to marry you--but this time I couldn't tell if you were serious, so I decided to assume you were just being emotional so I told you to ask me again when you were serious.

Since I got to see a couple of friends this weekend, and I was otherwise very busy, I wasn't debilitated by sadness at all.

[lilymelrosa]

hello there.

it's weird to remind myself of how dumb i was in the past few months, thinking that things were going to be okay again, thinking that you loved me more than you showed, thinking that what we felt was more important than it was. tomorrow marks the 6th month after you broke it up with me. it's strange to think about that, stranger to think that you said you wanted to be my friend and cared about me but the last time we talked was over a month ago. it hurts, but actually helps me to realize how truthful you were to me (not much). it helps me to get stronger though, and it helps me to see you in a more realistic light, instead of through my pink tinted glasses.

i miss you sometimes. not as much as before. i still feel the need to come here and write as if you would read, in your life that's now so far away from mine. but i feel stronger ever since we stopped talking and even more ever since i decided to unfollow you on social media. it made me feel proud that i finally did it, i finally prioritized my well being. i feel stronger since i started talking to other boys too. it's all carefree but i've gladly been meeting nice people, realizing that you're not the only guy in the world, realizing that other guys might find me attractive or interesting. who knows what comes next? i hope i forget my feelings for you finally, as you so easily did with your feelings for me. i wish you well, despite everything

[Fettsei]

B,

 

I hear you. You tell me you think I'm angry and I ignore you.

 

You put my stuff on your driveway for me to pick up.

 

That's hostile and clear. It says. I don't want you in my life.

 

Maybe it's your reaction to me telling you I could not be your friend?

 

You said it's what's best.

 

What could I do after what you did to us?

 

I try to not ever be around you because everything you've done since you left me pretty much says that's what you want.

 

I think you are with someone else. If that's what you want, I cannot interfere. I truly love you so.

 

I listened closely. You said if you listen close people will tell you who they really are.

 

I listened to you and your actions and words broke my heart, my being.

 

My best friend, please understand deep inside of me, underneath hurt, pain, sorrow, is only love for you.

 

I am not ashamed. Love is love. It tears me apart to not tell you, but Instead to write here.

 

How can I tell you? I have to love myself first. I don't want to. I want to call you and tell you.

[SK123]

I think I'm over you. We ran into each other at a bar last week and pretty much ignored each other. Then you messaged me a couple days later to fish for confirmation that I was looking at you the entire night. I didn't give it to you because I wasn't. What were you hoping to hear? Did you need me to feed your ego? Sweetheart, I don't care about what you think anymore. My actions don't revolve around you anymore. I'll always have a weakness for you but I don't wanna be with you again. I'm thankful that I got to love you and that you're the one who'll always be my first true love, but what we had is long gone and I've accepted that. I hope you're doing well. I hope things are going great at your internship.

[Honeycomb8]

I don't know about you, but just hearing your voice tonight made my heart happy. Talking for nearly two hrs made me realise I still have feelings for you. I woke up today thinking about you and I just miss you. Talk soon.

[Mcasa1026]

I have a strong feeling it's going to be my last post about you.

NC helps a lot. I don't know since when I stopped thinking about getting you back, checking for your messages and emails, stalking you on Facebook and stuff.

I just wanted to say thank you for giving me this opportunity so I can grow and so I will have a better chance to pursue my happiness, or a better life!

I am grateful have have ever met you.

 

Best wishes,

 

M

[sfindependent]

i'm pushing myself hard to become a goddamned better person. I feel sometimes i'm stuck like a hamster in a wheel. but i've lived my life with a lot of "screw it, i'll throw myself in". and i am. part of me wishes you were here so i can share with you the things you wanted me to do before. But now, in an act of self preservation, you've most likely closed and burned off all the bridges that you and i ever shared. the unrealistic side of me thinks there's still a chance. But we both know things will never happen again.

[ellie00]

I really need you right now as my life falls apart. I need my best friend to give me the support and advice through all this. I miss you so much. My life really crumbled when you decided we were done. I wish things were different...i still love you with all my heart.

[Dominique]

I had such a nice day yesterday. I would love to have shared it with you.

[sunshine34]

I'm trying to be more truthful to myself and to my feelings, experiences and prospectives. While it is true, had Alfredo wanted to try I would have left you, when that played out I did invest emotionally into you and I felt us becoming close. I guess I can't blame you if that didn't happen for you. I think the part that's hurting me is thinking that none of it was real and everything was a game. A game of revenge and reciprocation.. we got back together on Monday and you told me you were going to cook and asked me to stay over.. I get wine and u aren't cooking. Not only that , right after we have sex u tell me u have to work and I can't stay. The exact thing u told me not to do which is saying something and not doing it. But u know how to play me like a fiddle so I guilt me into needing to understand and support you. The night ends w u mad at me over something I again think is stupid, me trying to open up to u about sexual things and u thinking it's me trying to make u jealous and it wasn't, was talking about me and us . So then the next day I can't see u because I have work things and stuff to catch up on and honestly I didn't want to seem too available considering that u didn't want me to stay w u after an entire week of being apart . Then I was going to dinner w my bro and told u I couldn't talk so u call me and I abruptly answer saying I won't be by my phone so u break up w me.. bc u were calling to complement me on my new job and I blew u off... but the whole thing is so stupid to me. Clearly u just don't care about me bc something so little causes u to walk away right after u tell me to work through things and not just break up.. regardless of what I thought or what I felt, this is your truth. Maybe I need to realize it's for the best anyways because of how much we fought , how little I felt appreciated and how many steps ahead I always was . This never ends in happiness.

[sunshine34]

I'm sad, I'm depressed, confused, lonely, angry,disappointed,jealous,curious, distraught.. I want to move on this time. We've broken up many times but this one shows me how little u value commitment . I don't want to be hurt anymore and that is what u do to me, whether it's 2 days or 4, it's a constant pattern and I'm somehow doing something wrong always with these insignificant things.. I can't help thinking how any person could please u or how any person could just know these tiny things that u become upset about yet my larger concerns seem crazy to you. MYbe it was all control and u wanted to push to see how far u could get me to go.. I think I went pretty far. I dk.. none of it matters; I'm lying here alone and sad and u are content,happy, unaffected and living your life so clearly being w me wasn't important for u. Thanks for making me waste money on sumphony tickets.. yeah u tell me it's nothing for u, but I bet none of your past mooching gfs ever did something like that for u... completely unappreciative ass who couldn't even buy me flowers or light candles and broke up w me over how I answer the phone... hope this new one makes u happy , clearly I can't

[mynameisneo]

I had a really powerful trigger yesterday. And it definitely rattled me. I didn't contact you, and I won't. And I'm repeating what I already know, even if only for my own sake:

 

- I love you and part of me possibly always will. I don't love you nearly as much as I did a few months ago.

- But there are strings of attachment left, however loose and thin

- We would have never made it. What you want, and how you love, and your expectations from a relationship, are completely opposite of mine

- Which makes it so goddamn hard to figure out why I loved you and why we had what we had

- And I may never get the answer to that question. And I have to live with that

- And I'll move on and find happiness and love without you. Most of me already has

 

Love is incredibly strange. It makes you overlook so much. Even now, as I type this, I find myself only looking at the good parts of you, and our relationship, and have to remind myself that it was less than 10% of what we actually had. The rest was compromise at best, incompatibility at worst.

 

The effects from the trigger will fade. Time and distance will work their magic. In an ideal world, we would talk like normal people, instead of me typing in a vacuum. But love is not only strange, it's also irrational. Our conversation would not be normal, and even a good outcome would be bad eventually.

 

I have no well wishes for you, or bad ones, to end this "conversation". Just a goodbye. Until next time. Which I always hope won't come.

[Fettsei]

Alright.

 

Idk what to tell you.

 

I hurt in ways no words can explain. I had begun my new life. I was just beginning.

 

Then I met you. I had the time of my life.

 

I want so bad to laugh with you. I want to kiss you. I miss your hugs. Your smile. I loved eating at your house.

 

I just loved being with you. I didn't need to go anywhere. It didn't matter where we were. I was just happy I was with you.

 

I miss your company. It breaks my heart to know you'd rather give it and all that comes with you...smiles, love, joy, to someone else.

 

I miss Your son at your place. Tinkering with Legos, nerf, kimo...

 

I thought you felt that way about me. I thought you loved me as I am. I thought I mattered to you. I thought you were there for me.

 

One day it all went away.

 

I lost my best friend and I didn't even know it was going to happen.

 

I'm so sad. I thought I knew sorrow, but not like this.

 

No matter what I do, No matter what I don't do, No matter what I say or don't say, No matter what I think or how I feel, no matter how I pray, or believe, I lost you.

 

I've hurt for so long and been sad all this time.

 

Only my kids are any kind of light.

 

Why didn't you tell me that I needed to help you? I would have done anything.

 

I told you...you felt like home. You kissed me and I held you close.

 

I just want to go home.

[Frenchie12]

Neo, just a comment from the (relatively passive) peanut gallery...I have so enjoyed your posts. You offer up some great insights, and your experience is sadly relatable for me. Thanks for contributing. It helps.

[mynameisneo]

Neo, just a comment from the (relatively passive) peanut gallery...I have so enjoyed your posts. You offer up some great insights, and your experience is sadly relatable for me. Thanks for contributing. It helps.

 

Thanks Frenchie, that's very kind of you to say. Most relationship grief has common threads, unfortunately. It gets easier. I'm glad that what I write helps others as well. Be good to yourself, and hope you heal!

[MyLifeMyChoice]

It's been 5 months since we broke up. Almost a week since we spoke the last time. Every weekend, I feel it coming - it's when I miss you. And miss the way things were. I was so used to you coming home to me, me, kissing you as you walk in the door, hugging you...asking you how your day went, even though we had been texting the whole day.

 

My life is up in the air right now, and I wish I still had you. To talk about how my interview went. Or just random things.

 

I miss you so much.

[Dominique]

Today was such a good day. I had a wonderful afternoon and would have loved to have shared it with you and the kids. Your presence and love is truly missed. My son would have loved to have seen the kids as well. He adores them as I do.

We keep you and the kids in prayer and I send love and blessings to you every night. Happiness is what I hope you are feeling today. I sure am happy today. I love you, My Lover.

 

Sending you light and an abundance of love.

[Chelsea54]

If you think those are reasons, then by all means, keep believing it. I can't change your mind. You've made these things into reasons, where they weren't in the beginning. You knew BEFORE we met in person what my responsibilities are and that I wouldn't have free entire weekends with you. For a while we were having a great time and it was working. I guess a few moths in it must have hit you that what I said was true.

And why is this about me? You're just as, if not much more unavailable than I am, but not just for time, but also for tlc. I'm not typing all of that out. It's not about me. It's about you. You misrepresented yourself from the start, yet I accepted it. Near the end, you brought out a few other major surprise clarities. Thanks. So, there I was, still loving you. Those things that I don't like that I accepted I do take on as my fault because I evaded the arguments they deserved.

And then a few weeks later, a twist in a simple conversation that wasn't even an argument, and you say we should break up, let's just be friends. What? I thought I'm being the good guy, hanging on, cause we were going to get back to the good stuff, right? And because as you still tell me to this day-- that you love me and I love you back, so we were holding on to that.

 

How many times during arguments did I finally have a backbone in my life and in telling you what I really truly felt--and if this wasn't going to work, then we should break up? And you never wanted to end us. And you wanted to stay. And so did I. You said always & forever, neither of us ever again with another person. Just us.

You made me consider if I want to ever get married again. Now I know that I do if I meet someone who is right for me or if things become right between you and me, then I want the stability and trust of marriage. Basically, the only way I can see it rekindling or working out between us is if we are on track to get married and want to get married soon. We are very far away from that right now.

So what drives me crazy-- is this weekend I was just barely getting to some peace with us broken up. And when I spoke with you last night, you opened the door to me coming up with a plan on how we can work out a reasonable relationship. This is the first time you asked my opinion about it. Yet you're Complaining that I hadn't fought to keep us together and come up with a plan for keeping us together. What? After you shock me and broke up with me? You must be kidding. No. That's not how it works. How it works is you show effort, you show want and desire for me. You ask me back. Even if we don't have much time. You show effort, I stop over doing the effort, we love each other and have fidelity, we see each other when we can and plan a future together.

And then today, you call me for support about an issue I know everything about and you're driving on your way to face the challenge and I'm rehashing with you and cheerleading you on. And then you call me afterwards to let me know how it went. That is the way it should be as friends, but I feel all the intensity of being wrapped up in your world and it feels like when we were a team and together. And then we remotely watch a movie together. That felt like a pseudo date. And then I know the feelings were creeping up on you again and you blurt out a reason this can't work. But earlier today said that maybe we could work it out and be back together.

So. I'm calling BS on all of this. I'm not going down the rabbit hole of break up mental illness about you again. Not now. I'm stronger about you now.

 

If we rekindle, I'm only dating you and whomever else. No one is my singular boyfriend until I get Aspects of my life together. Then I can reconsider.

I love you. I still want the us that you talked about and that we had. I think it's still there if we wanted to grab onto it.

But I think right now is not right. This brief separation has made me less tolerant of the flakiness. I need you to truly take care of yourself to have the trust that you could be responsible about my heart.

I think for us to get back we probably need to go separate ways and possibly swing back. I'm going to have to start working on being ok with you eventually seeing other women. If and when that happens, I'm sure you'll be putting in the effort like you did with me and you'll not have time for this "friendship".

I'm just really done with being tortured by all of this. At least I am right in this moment.

[sicx]

I've just had one of those moments where I had a random browse through social media, and I managed to come across your old Facebook profile.

 

Reading some of the things you wrote, I miss how you used to be. You were so funny, so witty, so clever, and so devoted and protective of me. We were 100% on the same wavelength, I could say hands down I thought we would always end up together.

2014 was our 1 year anniversary and you posted it on Facebook, how much you loved me and always will. I remember as time went on you never did anything like that anymore.

 

Nothing lasts forever, I know you outgrew our relationship, as hard as it is to admit you've changed so much more than me. Maybe we got together too young I don't know, but you just wanted more that I couldn't give you.

That's life I guess, but you were my first love and i'll never forget you.

Do I like the person you've become? Not really, I don't think its really you. We have so little in common now, and I hate that. You care so much what people think of you and everything you post or write is so fake, it's not your reality. I've known you for 8 years and I know how you are, I know you better than most.

I don't know where this life is going to take you, but if you keep surrounding yourself with the toxic people you are then you'll go downhill fast. What you've done already is SO not you; it's funny, I say you've outgrown the relationship but right now you need to grow the f*ck up.

[missing003]

Saw a photo of you today, one of our mutual friends had posted it. First one I had seen in 5 months since I initiated no contact. It made me miss you. I looked at it for a good 15 min, just looking at you and remembering the good times we shared. It was almost like seeing your ghost, it was strange. I feel different about you now though. I can’t really describe it, but I know I am and have been healing. If this was 2 months ago I would have started crying just seeing you.

I know what we had was in the past and you have moved on with your life. I am trying my hardest to do the same. I will never forget you, but I hope one day soon I will be completely out of love with you.