Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Dominique]

I am about to grill and make martinis. Smiling thinking about your smile. My heart loves to love you.

[Mcasa1026]

I can't seem to forget abt you. There's a glimpse of hope in me that you might come back. Though it's been three months, everything still feels like yesterday. I miss you so much.

[Fettsei]

B,

You don't deserve to hear this. Some you've heard before...At least I can say it here.

 

I love you across all time. I love your son. I thought we would blend our family. You led me to believe this. My children loved your nurturing nature. You read us bedtime stories and made delicious meals.

 

Your shining eyes still captivate me and haunt me when I lie down at night. I ask God to be with you and to take you out of my heart. I ask Him to give you the courage to reach out to me if you are inclined if you do remain in my heart.

 

At times I wrestle in my own heart. I ponder how to callous my heart towards you when I love you so much. There is a conflict. The answer I come coming to believe is to not callous my heart. I cannot hate you for leaving me. Unconditional love knows no bounds.

 

I had to tell you I could not be your friend, and it tears me apart. You suffocated the lifelines between us. Your inaction, hurtful words..."I have my doubts about you. I feel different. I should be on fire for you but I'm not. You listen but sometimes you're not present. You deserve more. I'm sorry I'm so messed up right now. You're an amazing guy, but I got to where I was just doing this for the kids."

 

So many directions. I asked how we were you said we were great. Our intimacy remained we laughed. Then you return after your trip and abruptly end our relationship and say these things.

 

You tell me you never gave us the chance to work on these things.

 

Now when I see you we say nothing. After 2 1/2 years of laughter, intimacy. You were my best friend. I'm sorry that I told could no longer speak to you unless you are romantically inclined. It tears me apart.

 

You created a game where I had no moves. You unilaterally changed the terms of our relationship. I see now where you used me as a weapon to hurt your ex husband. My kids, your son, you, and I have all been hurt.

 

I wish you could forgive him for hurting you with his hidden affair. I know he left you in the midst of your breast cancer to be with her. He was cruel and treated you terribly. I listened. I spoke with you from the depths of my heart. I patiently watched with open arms.

 

I had no idea how hurt you were until after we had fallen in love. I became part of the vicious triangle. I looked on my own past and felt God had designed me to be with you. I explicitly shared this to you from the depths of my heart.

 

But you placed me just at a distance. The confusion of the triangle manifested more and more.

 

His Narcissitic tendencies have inflicted your own spirit. For in many ways you treated me the same, but I remained silent on this. I only see it now.

 

And so the new guy unknowingly enters the triangle. I know that way. It is a hard road. But I would have traveled it and did for a time to be with you. Boundless love was placed in my heart for you.

 

You will repeat the cycle. I know in some way this is what you mean when you say I deserve better. I didn't want better. I just wanted you.

 

Now, I'm severed from you. I despise it. We proclaimed we were closest friends. But you called two times in the summer.

 

I had to look at your actions and while I heard your words, I knew you had begun to operate in the shadows.

 

Your suspicious phone calls, and always placing your phone screen down, the phone vibrating bedside in the middle of the night, and the time I entered the room from falling asleep in the living room to find you texting someone at 1 am.

 

I know you were dishonest with me. I told you your friend, N knew more about the end of our relationship than I do.

 

Your silence confirmed it.

 

All this and I can only love you, because I know that hurt people...hurt people. I can see through all of the pain the amazing woman that you are. But it tears me apart to know, I am worth discarding and being made expendable in your eyes.

 

People don't understand. I chose to love you, and I cannot simply turn it off. I cannot callous my heart to you.

 

I do have to let you go. I don't want to.

 

Greater love has no man than this...that he lay down his life for his friend.

 

B, you are my beloved and I cherish you. I let go of the unhealthy ties. So confusing.

 

I forgive you for hurting us. I forgive myself for hurting you by telling you I could no longer be your friend.

 

I miss you every day. I look to my phone for a message, I look for signs. I move forward, but anything from here is just a second choice.

 

With God all things are possible. Idk what will happen. The desire of my heart is us. But the conflict says let go.

 

I cannot carry the thought of you kissing another. I must press on.

 

Sorrow and wisdom hold hands.

[Honeycomb8]

I still feel sensitive about everything. I really hate that I care.

[Honeycomb8]

I still have photos of the first dinner you cooked for me. That was the day something sparked in my heart. You know everytime I kissed you, it was so much more than just a sexual feeling; I felt my heart light up.

We could have been something really special.

Scratch that, you really started to mean something to me.

[Starlight925]

I had the saddest weekend since P. left me. I thought I'd be so cool and get back on dating sites, and I was so excited to get 2 dates set up! But Friday night's date cancelled at the last minute, and today's date was zero chemistry, and even though I thought sure, I'd go out with him again, he didn't seem interested.

 

All this left me feeling so sad, and missing the amazing chemistry you & I had. We could talk for hours about nothing. I also miss all your phone calls and little texts. I miss that today was a big football day, and I didn't have you here watching it. I miss just knowing you're there, and that we'll go grab dinner, or get a movie, or just talk about our days.

 

Today was the first day that I cried since our breakup. I actually started to cry at the gym, right before going into a plank, but the difficulty of the plank stopped me! So I was relieved! But tonight, with absolutely nothing to do, and a completely quiet house, I completely broke down and cried like a baby. I'm crying now as I type this.

[DAmari]

I can't stand the thought of you. I thought you would be the one I would be able to spend the rest of my life with. I want to message you so bad and try to make you feel how I feel after I found out you were cheating on me during our relationship, right after we broke up. I hope you already do feel worser than me.

 

I can't believe I was such a good girlfriend but yet you took me for granted. I put up with a lot of your stuff and it got me nowhere. Just a bunch of lies and deceit. I would never wish what you did to me onto somebody else.

[Dominique]

Good morning Lover. I slept so good last night. I love u. Have a wonderful day. God's protection over you today to keep you and bring you home safe to me and the kids. Kisses and snuggles to you

 

Thinking of you and thankful for every day I held you in my arms. My Love and light to you. Always.

[SK123]

I caved and looked at your social media today. It hurts to see you doing all these fun things without me, even things that we had planned on doing together. By the looks of it you may even be seeing somebody else. My heart still feels so broken. Why wasn't I good enough for you? You said you couldn't handle my depression. But I've got a therapy session planned in just two weeks and I'm fighting hard to get better. You knew that. Yet you didn't have the patience to stick around. You said I deserve better. I suppose that might be true. Still all I want is you. Do you not miss me at all? You claimed to love me. Why was that love not enough to give us another chance? You gave up on us so easily and I don't think I can ever forgive you for that. Please get out of my mind.

[Shjjj09]

Helllpppp.. Idk if this is the right post to write on and if not please point me there buy I'm new to this. I've been online for the past 3 weeks seeking help. My ex and I of 4 years recently split, we had relocated to another state long story short it got to hard and he came back home with out myself and four kids 2 of which are his biologically. The relationship has been a true roller coaster and during my research I really believe my ex is a narcissist. So here's my dilemma. after my ex left us he contacted me crying stating how he was coming back and wanted us to work on things I gave in after two days of this and we began to communicate and plan for his return, 4 days in I'm having a rough day I call him hes to busy to talk mind u I'm in a hotel room stuck with 4 kids day in and day out, so wym he got enough time to call me back I was irritated and took frustration out on him. That was our last conversation 26 days ago. I reached out to him via text and call for 3 days with no response so my kids and I came back. His own mother picked us up from the airport he didn't show. She then took us to the home we shared he did not answer and I had no key. At this point I'm over it I go to a good friends and ficus my mind on getting my s* together. I immediately block him from everything and go into no contact. 3 days in I popped up on him BC our son needed diapers he telling me to call him later blah blah and proceeded to walk away from me, His mother pulled up and he then gave me $. Again I'm appalled so I make upy mind no matter how hard things get I will never reach out again. Now here it is two days before our youngest sons 1st birthday and his mother has texted me countless times telling me to unblock him and he's trying to contact me bout birthday. I have not responded. Apart of me feels I'm wring but the other wants no dealings. Its been a fight to stay strong and not contact, to not go home to the place thats still in my name but I just want to move on at this point. Its been multiple times he's ran out on his family and I allow him to come back but I feel I have to draw the line somewhere. I need advice should I give in BC its our sons birthday or stand strong. He hasn't been worried his kids wouldn't even keep them while I work. Please honest advice would be great!!!

[DyanH123]

I had a weak moment, I messaged him via face book. He hasn't replied. Which is good as it has helped me that little bit more to let go. I even question myself over why I did it, when I didn't expect he would respond anyway. Did I look desperate I am not bothered, because it gives me the courage to finally delete him from my life and once he is out, what I did or said will be yesterday's news and if it helped me get to that point quicker, that's great. Being ignored by him helps...makes me care less and less, because why would I want to be with someone like that anyway. If we did get back together it is obvious it wouldn't work even to myself, as he gave up on us too easily, what a let down.

[SweetGirl28]

I had the saddest weekend since P. left me. I thought I'd be so cool and get back on dating sites, and I was so excited to get 2 dates set up! But Friday night's date cancelled at the last minute, and today's date was zero chemistry, and even though I thought sure, I'd go out with him again, he didn't seem interested.

 

All this left me feeling so sad, and missing the amazing chemistry you & I had. We could talk for hours about nothing. I also miss all your phone calls and little texts. I miss that today was a big football day, and I didn't have you here watching it. I miss just knowing you're there, and that we'll go grab dinner, or get a movie, or just talk about our days.

 

Today was the first day that I cried since our breakup. I actually started to cry at the gym, right before going into a plank, but the difficulty of the plank stopped me! So I was relieved! But tonight, with absolutely nothing to do, and a completely quiet house, I completely broke down and cried like a baby. I'm crying now as I type this.

 

 

Hugs to you! It's like I wrote this myself. The chemistry, the dating. Not connecting

with anyone else. I so understand this. It's what I miss too, the ease of the connection,

the instant spark, it's so rare, and difficult to find, but have faith!

Keep trying, when you least expect it, you will find a greater love.

[esm12]

It's been two months no contact and I'm not sure why I'm still struggling.I would never want you back, especially when I found you had a girlfriend while trying to be physical with me. I've gone on dates but for some reason you're always still at the back of my mind. I know I miss what could have been..not you, and I would never want to get back with you. I just want answers, but that's never going to come. I just don't get why you with other girls makes me so upset, even though I know how awful you are.

[Honeycomb8]

It was nice to see you today. Was pretty awkward but how can it not be. I don't know why you would want to catch up next week? It's still weird with us, cos we're both obviously holding back. You probably can tell I still get flustered around you.

[pandaofspdez]

I miss you, a whole lot. I miss what we used to be. And it hurts, everytime i look back at the past.

[1994]

Hi. I just wanted to tell you that I hope you are doing well and that you take care of yourself. I sometimes go to your Instagram page just to see what you are up to, and it makes me happy to see that you are enjoying yourself, as well as it makes me sad since your smile makes me remember all the good times we had. And I'm sorry for how it ended. I never meant to hurt you, but the relationship was taking it's toll on me and I felt like I had to break up. Like I had reached the point where I just couldn't see any future for us that didn't involve me changing completely into someone I'm not, or even worse, forcing you to change. I hope you understand that I love you and that I always will and that I know I broke your heart. I try to live with my decision every day and although I know it was the right decision for both of us, I just can't stop hating myself for it. You deserve all the best that life can give you.

[Mcasa1026]

21 days into NC. I still miss you and think about you all the time. I read the last email you sent me everyday, as if you're alive in your words. You are right: Words do mean things. I have grown a lot since we parted and come to realize how things could have been done better in the past. It's painful you know? Breaking up with you was the most difficult decision made in my life, but deep down I felt that's the best for us. I love you.

[Chelsea54]

You said LESS contact as if I have been burdening you with wanting some kind of closeness with you. You also said-- just friends so that we don't lose each other. But you also intermittently say--maybe it won't take that long until we can get back while the next day you paint scenarios that sound like you're not going to be available for a very long time & Then flip back to it being a matter of a couple months.

I offered 2 weeks NC so that I could sort myself out and realize that we are actually broken up and to give you the time to do some things you need to. Also So that I cannot be the cause of your stress or why things are overwhelming for you. You said 2 weeks nc wasn't right either. You seemed saddened by the idea of it and said it was unreasonable. So we agreed on 1 week where only you're contacting me. I miss you terribly. I'm kind of shocked that this is how little you want to or are able to contact me.

Here I am (not) sending you this fake long text. I'm also keeping notes on all the stuff I want to say to you so that when we do speak I can make sure I tell you all of the important things. Cause I'm going to get emotional and forget what I want to say.

To help me stop feeling so emotional-- I had considered clearing my phone of you and instead listened to your voicemails that I didn't delete from a while back. What happened to us? You love me so much! I'm afraid to put that in past tense. But putting these ideas together must mean something is lost. Right? I mean, we love each other. So why do we need this separation? It doesn't make sense. People who love each other stick together, not go separate ways when things aren't ideal. This relationship was never ideal. Not for either of us. So when did not-ideal become a deal breaker?

Why can't we be together, but we just see each other when we're actually free? You've said a few times that you don't want to fail at everything including me. That you'd rather break up than fail at our relationship. I didn't give up on us near the start of our relationship cause you said--- you were going to stick with me through my tough times. Haven't I said that back to you about how things are for you now? Haven't I been sticking with YOU this whole time? Why NOW is it different?

 

Your line of thinking about us breaking up sounds so similar to what I told my X when I wanted to split from him. And I told you what I said. It also sounds similar to what you told your xSO.

Oh no. If you feel about me like I felt about my X......

Idk why this is so so so difficult for me to understand. I guess I keep thinking that there is a spark of hope. You said if these obstacles were removed you would get back with me right away! You sometimes say that maybe we can get back sooner..... I miss you like crazy. Still crying multiple times per day. I keep thinking about our memories. I wish you would've called me today. Yesterday, typing this would've made me cry, but today-- it isn't. That kind of scares me. What if I get settled with this new plan and then you come back to me and I'm no longer willing to return?

No one ever said that love was simple.

[lilymelrosa]

Lately i've been feeling better. More peaceful, at least. Less teary too. We don't talk been almost a month (the longest since the breakup) and NC is actually a big helper. I feel like I finally had the chance to go a bit past the denial phase. I'm feeling better, yes, but still a bit sad, considering that, for the past five months, I was believing that your love for me was stronger than it proved itself to be. But that's okay, I just wanna move forward, not staying all day thinking of the past. My single friends and I are joining a dating app just for the sake of fun and distraction from this disastrous love lives we lead. I don't expect to find my "soul mate" in there, nor a big love as the one I found in you. But finally I'm feeling able to do something to move forward, not feeling like I'm "cheating" on our relationship. It's over, you ended it, there's no such thing as cheating. A part of me wishes we could talk more but I know we shouldn't and I'm keeping up my promise of not initiating any conversation. I hope you're well.

[Chelsea54]

Dammit I don't want to move on or give up on us. I cannot believe that we could spend the evening out on Saturday, first time in 3 wks, have a good time, text briefly on Sun, talk a bit on Mon and now it's Wed-nothing and that's ok with you?

I had a dream last night that I was embarrassing myself while at the same time disparaging you.

---Basically making it impossible for you to think of me romantically again. I hate that.

 

Your text says you love me. Your voicemails say you love me. Your mouth says you love me and so does your heart and eyes and arms.

I put all of my everything I have to give into you. Maybe that's why it's so hard for me. I think you realize that I'm not going to feel good if I can't be 100% "on" for you.

I also hate when my intensity of emotion wanes and then I just feel empty. A zombie.

 

Other men look. I don't want to see their existence. I don't care what they're about or their f-g feelings. I don't want you to drop me and I eventually down the road find another and pour myself into him/them. I don't want it. I want you. Imperfect you. If you were perfect you KNOW that I would hate it. I don't want that.

 

If I knew how I could feel in love with someone the way I do with you decades ago, I wouldn't have married who I did.

 

I really appreciate this site so I can vent. I eventually do say the essence of these things to him, but the timing and intensity, if texted or said would only get me a shut door. And, I wish I could be a stronger, straight thinker, remembering the logic, etc-- but my emotional brain gets in the way. I have not been with him because of the "facts", only for the feelings.

[Mcasa1026]

I have been talking to some of my coworkers and they are all expecting to see me again, wishing me good luck or pray for my return. My friends are all asking me when I will be going back. It seems that everybody is waiting for me to return. I wonder if you feel the same. Do you want me to go back? Or you think I should stay here for good so you will never have to see me again? Or you don't even care? I don't know...

[sfindependent]

i can feel things moving on for me, and it's in the direction you wanted me to go so badly. I'm sorry. I wish i can take this journey with you, but I feel a lot of things have been burned to the ground. Your relationship with my friends; my reputation with yours. I feel like i"m chasing something i don't even know if i want. I miss what we had until things started changing. I was crazy in love with you and the more i felt it, the more i denied it. i was afraid of what i was losing to gain and get closer to you. I know a lot of it was my fault on why we had to break up. In a sense, i suppose it was not meant to be.

 

Just missing you.

[Dominique]

It's hard to come home at night and you not be here. I truly never even considered this would be a possibility. You said we shouldn't get in our own way. Life has a way of making our plans futile.

[flowerbomb2021]

what the hell do you want from me? why do you tell me different things but tell other people otherwise? Do you want my attention or what? And last time I checked, you have a new girlfriend right? So why the hell are you texting me every two months to let know how great of a person I am and how caring I am? It makes NO sense. you're the one who wanted this, not me. I did not sabotage our relationship, you did. Why would you be in a whole new relationship that we both know is BS, but tell Madge that you still love me and to tell her if you see me walking around with some other guy. It's so pathetic. You have no idea you want. You had someone who was so true to you, so good to you, looked out for me, and loved you for who you were and you completely dogged me out. I would never do that to you. Do you not know that I know you're dating somebody? Is this the kind of you pulled in OUR relationship? Why cant you leave me alone? You creep on my IG page, you still text me, for what?

 

Why cant you ing change? It's been two years and you are still doing the same , still being lost. I tried, I really did. And you know I did, and you know the kind of girlfriend I was to you. And you know you'll never find that in anyone else. I dont even want anything from you. All I want is a damn apology for you being a piece of to me. Just take responsibility for once in your life and own up to your faults! Please, that's all I really want. You showed me who you really are and I dont need that in my life. Grow the hell up for once. I hope you realizes how much you ed up with me. And I hope karma got you good.

[Flipper15]

I just drove for a 9 hour round trip just to have one conversation with you 😢 And you didn't show. I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I cried most of the drive back. 4 years I feel now like we're a waste for someone who totally swept me off my feet such a kind gentle soul who had a conscious, whose now turned into some "lad" player to fit in with your new career. I'm devastated. I've known you for 4 years and it was always you who was the sensitive one. You've know your new workmates 6 months proberly along with girls your online dating gives you 😢 I thought I honestly meant more than that and considering the drive I did to show you could trust what I say I'm devastated. You have had full control for a while now. I should not have listened to you when you broke down crying in June, nor July. Because since then you've turned it on its head, broken me, lost our home, nearly lost me my job and all because your doing so well in your career with your new life. I helped you get there and look what you've done to me. I want to hate you, but I can't 😢