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Nynnja
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I like this! What did he/she do?

 

Long story...it was not just one thing. It was several over a long period of time between moments of bliss. This girl needs to be put in an emotional straight jacket and put in lock down so she doesn't destroy any other unsuspecting men. She is a sirene that has left a wake of victims behind her and seems unaffected and less than compassionate to the damage she has caused. I really hope she gets hers in the end....but who knows, life is not fair and she may escape unscathed.

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Merry Christmas to you and your family. I miss you despite all the pain you caused me. This would have been our third Christmas together and we were supposed to be exchanging thoughtful gifts and heartfelt cards today. We should be snuggling and making dinner together while listening to Christmas songs and drinking mulled wine. Instead you cheated on me right after Thanksgiving and then treated me like * * * * during the breakup. I'm hurt you haven't even texted a simple 'Merry Christmas' to me. Even though you never asked how I was doing, I want you to know that I'm doing better. Every day brings a bit more peace and acceptance. I look back at the whole of our relationship and realize how unhappy I was for the majority of it. I know that you were not right for me. I wish that you did the right thing and ended the relationship like a man instead of starting a relationship with your co-worker behind my back. It would've saved me so much heartache. I've been struggling a hundred times more because of your cowardly, selfish, and cruel behavior. Dealing with a simple breakup would've been cake compared to feeling so easily replaced and discarded. Why would you talk about getting engaged when you had already 'emotionally checked out' of the relationship? How could you develop feelings for another girl and pursue her then come home to me and act like you were so in love with me? I'm left questioning the entirety of our relationship now. You are such a good liar and I had no idea. Now I don't know what was real and what wasn't. You have changed me fundamentally and I will never be the same again - in both good and bad ways. I feel wiser and stronger, but also a bit jaded and fearful. You took away my blind optimism and I don't look at the world through rose-colored glasses anymore. I see what people are capable of now. I will never let myself be so blindsided again. I walk away with my head held high because I know that I leave a better person. I don't think you can say the same.

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Ahhh your a manipulative, sociopathic liar! The fact that your even engaged is probably a lie. The fact your taking her to meet your family is a stab in the heart but I will find someone who can't wait to bring me home to meet ther family. Because there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. I am an amazing person. It is your loss. And the fact that you reached put to me when you are seeing someone else just shows you will never change and I dodged a bullet. Plus you aren't happy and you never will be in any relationship.

 

Merry Christmas you selfish jerk!

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Want to wish her a merry Christmas but no point, I know she won't respond and it will just make things worse. It has been 9 weeks now... was a great relationship, maybe I will find out why she felt the need to end it someday, but I'm sure it will be at least months or years before I hear from her and I don't know why. We planned out this Christmas together in late September which makes it kinda depressing, I wonder if she is thinking about me at all on this day?

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In 2012, I swear I will do the following:

 

1) I will NOT contact you in ANY means, AT ALL

NO. NOT EVEN TELEPATHY. (If that works, whatever). NO TEXTING.

 

2) I will stop drifting into our past. I mean, MY past.

 

3) I will fall madly in love with someone, get my heart broken again. But that someone will not be you.

 

4) In the eve of 2013, I will vow to repeat this again (this is like n++; while programming)

 

Before 2012 comes, I want to let you know here that I am going to be there soon. I wish I could see you and have that feeling.. like I build up this image of you in my head, put you on a pedestal and when we do meet, you're nothing extraordinary. And when that happens, I'd look back to the times when I do think of you and thought "why do I waste so much time on this guy".

 

Let's pretend that that had happened. See, now, I don't have to see you!

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4 months later, and I still miss you so much. Christmas isn't even helping at all. Remember how we built our own little world together last December 25? We had a blast and came home really late. This year, I'm just this pathetic girl sitting in front of her laptop with nothing to do. Everyone's so happy during the holidays, and I'm not. I don't know what's going on with you... you're probably happy with someone else, or you're probably missing me just as much as I am missing you... (but I know that's just 99% wishful thinking)

 

There's just one last stop: New Years. I don't want to cry anymore, but if I do... I pray to God it'll be my last over you.

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Missing you tonight. It's been a rough road so far but I hope one day I will see the light at the end of the tunnel. I really hope all is well with you. I can't wait till you can be in my life again, one way or another. I didn't even think I could make it this far. I don't know how I'm doing it.

 

Sorry bud, but I'm not going to initiate contact with you again. If you want me back in your life that's something you're going to have to do.

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I am getting stronger and stronger everyday. I just wish he would of treated me nicer and was the nice guy I met months ago instead of turning into this monster who lies and treated me like I am nothing I admit I did hope for a text from him for x-mas or there was a small part of me that wanted to send him one but you know what? He wins if I respond to a text or he wins if I send him one. It makes him feel like hey it is okay to treat Missie like dirt she forgave me and guess what? I will never forgive you the way you treated me.

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4 months later, and I still miss you so much. Christmas isn't even helping at all. Remember how we built our own little world together last December 25? We had a blast and came home really late. This year, I'm just this pathetic girl sitting in front of her laptop with nothing to do. Everyone's so happy during the holidays, and I'm not. I don't know what's going on with you... you're probably happy with someone else, or you're probably missing me just as much as I am missing you... (but I know that's just 99% wishful thinking)

 

There's just one last stop: New Years. I don't want to cry anymore, but if I do... I pray to God it'll be my last over you.

 

Were you the one broken up with? Or did you do the breaking? I'm just curious because your post stood out to me for some reason. I feel the same way as you. Today was really hard... I caved and sent her an email saying Merry Christmas, even though I know she either won't get it or she won't care. It's been 2 months for me. I am the same as you... if I can just get through New Years. Then her birthday. Then I feel like I might be able to breathe.

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Okay, go online and search for "Top 10 signs she's cheating on you". Yeah, you did all those to me on a regular basis. I know you think differently than most people, and I would be okay with that, if only you showed me more appreciation. You never did. So don't be surprised if I had "trust issues".

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'Hi'

Arg. I have no reason to text him but I guess I was expecting to hear from him by now (3 weeks NC). The last time I did NC he contacted me after 2 weeks. I'm worried he's moved on. Which is silly cause I should be moving on, so he should too... I really just want to say 'hi' and see what he says.

 

You never know. The only thing you can be sure of is what you're up to.

 

After he broke NC that first time, what happened?

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hey you, 2012 I'm focusing on building my career, my body and my friendships. If you're wondering why I haven't contacted you it's because I realized that I was always trying to convince myself and others how happy I was with you and I wasn't. I haven't contacted you because deep down I finally got what I wanted to be free of you. It doesn't matter if you're with one new girl or fifty because at the end of the day, I know what I want. I know you said you wanted to be friends, but I know how you treat your friends. I won't contact you because the only reason I'd do so is because I miss you, but truth is I have lost very little from not having you in my life. I don't know if you're a good or bad person, I just know you caused me a great deal of tears.

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I deleted your number again today. Last time I deleted it you sent me a text for the first time since this all happened 4 months ago. Typical - I finally decide to accept it fully (rather than partially with that little bit of hope) and that happened. At least I was able to respond and ask why you wanted to know if I'd been in contact with anyone on the dating site. I stupidly thought it might be because you still had some feelings for me, but it turned out you wanted to know if I now felt ready to move on. Like you have.

 

I know there was something you weren't able to share with me - something that has stopped you from ever really getting close to a girl. I know I will never find out what it was and that has been the hardest thing for me to do because it is in my nature to want to help and understand people. You have not treated me badly in all of this. But you were guilty of making me think you felt a certain way about me.

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (-: Texts like that. 'Wishing I was with you'...........'wishing I could take the day off work to be with you'. 'Maybe 2011 is the start of something for both of us'. All of the affectionate names you gave me. 'I want you so much' you said. Was I a fool for believing it? I think you meant it but maybe it was just sexual for you. I know it was early days and I wasn't thinking 'this is it'. I just wanted to keep it going, let it grow, because I felt something for you I have never felt before. It was love, but I didn't know it at the time. I felt really happy, contented and a little bit afraid because I was entering new territory. It was so hard for me to let go with you and yet when I did it felt so easy, so natural. I lost control of my senses. Yes - me, the girl who always stays in control, lets her head rule her heart, and yet my heart took over. I felt weird for never having been intimate with anyone at my age. Then you came along and you were the same. Crazy as it sounds, it felt like I was meant to meet you. You were like my twin in so many ways and yet in others we were so complimentary and opposite. You were so gentle. I loved your vulnerability but I could tell that you were holding something back. I saw myself reflected in you. Maybe I found it hard to let go because I wanted to help you overcome your fear of emotional intimacy because then I would be healing myself and all of my insecurities too. Perhaps we were just too similar in that respect.

 

I know you are a genuine soul - I know it - and therefore it meant something. Maybe it was just infatuation, excitement and nothing more. But I know it wasn't nothing. Perhaps like me it had taken you so long to find someone you felt able to trust and let go with, it was like discovering this hidden part of yourself and it was like a flower that suddenly bloomed, but when it opened you didn't know if you were able to look after it, water it, nurture and care for it. Remember I wrote you a song and played it on my guitar. You were so touched and you told me so. I have never done anything like that for anybody before. You were crazy not to give me a chance, because I am a wonderful person. Everybody tells me so. I have so much capacity to love, but I need to be loved in return. You told me I was perfect and I told you that I'm not. I'm flawed just like everyone. I try my best to be as good a person that I can be, but I sometimes fall short. But I'm one of the best girls around and one day you will realise that you threw away something and someone special - a diamond.

 

I have accepted you don't want me, or can't be with me. But I do sometimes long for you to hold my hand and to have that feeling of having someone you care about hold your hand as you are walking along and feeling like it's the most wonderful feeling in the whole wide world. something so simple. I've never had that before and so many people take it for granted.

 

I wished you well with the girl you've been on two dates with. But deep down inside, although I no longer want you (I've been through too much pain) I don't want it to go too well for you, because I want you to think about what you lost. I want you to see that most women my age will be more demanding than I was, and will probably declare their feelings much quicker. I had the ability to make you laugh so easily. I don't think you will ever find someone as so damn lovely as me and I think deep down you know it. I think you are afraid of love honey. I understand that. I'm a little afraid of it too. Especially now I know what it feels to have my heart broken. It is the most excruciating pain ever and I have been through a lot of crap in my life.

 

Buenos noches x

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If I ever meet anyone who is decent, intelligent, kind and not self-centred, he will make you look like even more of a pleb in comparison. And me perhaps even more of a fool for wasting precious time worrying and working at something that is a lost lost situation. I started holding on to you in April when you started planning your time round someone else/other people (and not telling me). I felt it slipping away, but you keep me in your life as your gf, I suppose until you were completely 'done' with me. You let me hang myself. You had no intention of taking it further. You really were a waste of space then.

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I can't find anything to tell you, honestly. I'd like to had a merry christmas text, I wouldn't take it as a breadcrumb, you had nothing to be afraid of, I wouldn't analyze it if it means something more. It would just show that the last 4 years had a meaning for you, we never fought, I didn't try to change your decision to leave, we agreed to have some contact since we care for each other, it just happened that you wanted to be alone. Things like that happen, needs change. But why do you behave like I never existed? Or like I am an enemy and I did something bad to you?

I didn't text you, although I knew that I would get a friendly answer and wishes. I wanted to see if you would do it first. No. You may not remember me at all. And for the first time, realizing it doesn't make me sad or angry, it is just who you are now, you are not the man I fell in love with, this man doesn't exist any more. I can't have hopes that I will ever get back something that doesn't exist. It is gone and I have to let it go.

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Hi Just,

 

It has taken every ounce of strength I have left not to text you tonight, I've just got home after a long walk and yet again my mind is filled with only you. Never in my life have I met someone that made me feel so very complete, never have I laughed with someone and been so happy, never have loved someone the way I love you. You were my world Just, my partner, my best friend and my lover. I don't think I will ever be able to move on from you.

 

I wanted you to know that I made a wish tonight, a wish for me, a wish for us, I hope that somehow it comes true.

 

I love you baby

 

Forever yours x

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