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Your a user. You left because you didn't want to deal with "life" here. You left with the cats, the clothes, everything I bought you, even all the sex toys that you probably use with him now... you left with it all and went home and started dating him a few weeks later. So now you have free living with your parents, a Casanova guy your in the honeymoon stage with, the cats, and all your friends. The easy life. I wasn't enough to stay here and try, you chose the easy road instead of me. You know..me...that guy you laid in bed with and EVERY night asked "promise to never leave me?"....that guy you said "your so perfect" to every morning when I would bring you breakfast in bed. Or maybe you will remember this one...I'm that guy that proposed to you...put that ring on your finger...that you then told "Oh my god...this is the best thing that ever happened to me, I couldn't ask for anything more"....then left me three days later? Remember now?

 

I'm the bf that you told "I'm so sorry I cheated with him...but it made me realize how disgusting him and the life he lives is, I'm so glad you took me back because I would have ended up in his disgusting messed up jobless future-less life"...remember telling me that? You probably don't want to remember though, since your ****ing dating him now, kissing in your default pic. People post on this forum ENA all the time about how cute and nice and "different" their gf's are when in reality they are all similar, just being put on a pedestal...but I really thought you WERE different. All the whispers in the shower about how you could never imagine yourself with anyone but me. All the whispers in bed every night about how perfect I was, about how STRONG we were and that we could MAKE IT THROUGH ANYTHING....and then you took the easy road....yea, real strong. I know I wasn't the best BF near the end, but even during those times you were always the one writing me poems and letters about how strong we were, how no matter what you would never be able to make yourself leave my side. Remember the play fights we would have about who would have to leave who, because neither of us could ever leave the other? Remember the crazy sex we had, and how you always told me you would never EVER find another guy you could open up with in bed like me? Remember how nasty and hairy and greasy you said he was and how disgusting you said his pen** was? Remember literally physically shuddering when telling me those things about him? Yea you know him..THE GUY YOUR DATING NOW....

 

I still do hold guilt for what happened between us. I'm not saying it's all your fault. I did enable you to "waste" a lot of your life the 10 months you lived here. I know I just sat around with you for months, only going out to dinner and movie once a week, maybe grocery shopping once a week, maybe partying a few days a month... when you were supposed to be going out and having fun like any 19 year old girl should. I know I wasn't affectionate as I should have been. I know was over controlling and to uptight about going out and having fun. All these things are realistic and acceptable reasons for you to leave me. My problem with it, is that through all that stuff...you always told me how you would stick it out through anything...no matter what...and that you knew how you treated me in the past was WHY I was like that.

 

NONE, of what I just said about myself, explains everything I wrote about you above though. I guess it's a common thing for people who were dumped like me to ask "how could you, after everything you said?"...but I feel like our situation, where you were always reassuring me, proclaiming your love me for every 10 minutes, reminding me of how strong we are, really makes it frustrating for me when I said "how could you". Also, after saying all those things to me, even up until the last day before you broke up with me and told me you didn't want the ring....you never even tried to contact me. It's been 4 weeks now NC and the only contact was when you texted ****** asking him to get money from me for your parents. No "is he OK", like you don't even care anymore, like the "easy life" you went back to and your new bf are SO great, that you just don't even care about me at all anymore, all that whispering in the shower, cuddling at night, crazy sex, it all means nothing, suddenly.

 

I don't even know what to say anymore. I want you back, so so badly. But the more I think about how it happened, the most I get a burning feeling in my heart for you, and it is far from an "I want you back" feeling.

 

I hope your happy. I really want to be vindictive and say I hope your happy with your "disgusting, hairy, tiny uncircumcised pen** (with the puke noise you made when telling me), jobless, loser" new boyfriend, because that is exactly how you described him to me after you cheated on me with him. I guess people can change?

 

But honestly, I hope you are happy in life in general. As much as it kills me to say it, I hope you learned from our relationship and you find happiness in the future. I'll always wonder why I couldn't be the one you "learned" for, but that's a moot point. I'm going to perfectly fine, and I'm sure I will find a girl that will not cheat on me, and will not take the easy road when the chance arises. Wish you the best.

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I blocked your fiancee's blog. I just had this horrible thought, "What if she posts pictures of the two of you together on her blog?" Not like she ever has before, but it's a possibility. I just don't have the self-control to not check her blog while holding my breath in dread of seeing something I don't want to see.

 

So now it's blocked. And hopefully I can truly get you both out of my life and out of my head. Be happy, be miserable, whatever. I don't care. Just let me live my life in peace.

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It gets worse. How could you? How could you reject me, use me and then be so nasty? What did I do to you? Nothing!!! You're caught up with chasing a young girl, and I was just there as a safety blanket, just in case it did not work. Or to torture??? You've been SO nasty. It's unbelievable. You're having far too much fun being the 'villain'. Deep down you must be frustrated, she is not totally willing so your stupid f-ing ego takes it out on ME. Me who LOVES you - you idiot!!!! You disgust me. Sicken me with your lies and taunts. You horrible man. I lost you. I lost our friendship which I thought could at least survive. I thought this was special. But not for you. This new game is MUCH more exciting to you, and anything with me pales in comparison. I lost us. You've lost my respect. I can no longer be in your life. You drove me out to have fun with a new girl who could just be passing through. You continued to drive me away after we finished. You don't want to admit any feelings for me. Yet I believe they are there, and it is not just guilt. You know you made a mess. It is no solace to me though. Closure will not come. You could help with an apology, but you refuse even to admit the facts of the betrayal. You refuse to even admit you know her!!! I hate you for this. You are a fool. I was a fool to stay as long as I did. When will this horror end? You do not deserve my love or my friendship, but it lingers out there with no where to go it feels. You are a weak weak selfish man. No one means anything to you unless they have something you want. You have no conscience.

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You tricked me into beliving that you were the one that we were going to have babies and that you were leaving your wife for me. You came to my house with a suitecase and asked me to believe and trust in our love that that would overcome all. So I did. I know you still loved her but listend to all your stories on how you wanted to start a new life - finally be a father and dreaming up a woman like me. I belived. You left me after one week with a broken lease and no where to live becaue we were moving out to start that new life.

 

You texted me that same day you were going to talk finacial with her then droped the bomb you promised you wouldnt.You couldnt go through with it. Too much family pain. How about all those things you said to me? You choose me you loved me and I loved you. I still love you and you know that I would never be the same. Neither will you. But you gave up so soon and choose a life of unhappiness. You will figure it out one day- I hope you didnt go back because of other people and that you went back to her because you were going to change your life around and stay commited for another 18 years. I feel so bad that you we put her through this because of our selfish love affair. You damaged me for life. I will never be the same. I have never been so played in my 27 years! That will be the last time I get hurt you older confused mid life crisis of a man.

Edited by lovetomuch
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I finally learnt that you exist somewhere out there.

I've been told that you have lost too much weight and that you smoke like a maniac at work, even in the morning before starting. Smoking? You?

I have quit all bad habits, almost... They also told me that you won't take the days off for Christmas because you have nothing special to do and nowhere to go so you don't care.

We had something special to do, remember? We would leave on Friday for our Christmas holidays, we would go to the country we were about to decide the night you dumped me. Instead, it will be 8 weeks without you on Friday. I am going to travel, without you, but I decided that it will be good to do it. I think I will visit one of the places we were planning to visit together in spring if not at Christmas. Life is moving on... without you... it is strange... After 4 Christmas holidays with you, I will be alone this year. You never think about these things, do you?

Do you remember my name?

Do you remember me? I doubt you do...

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ARRRRGH every time we chat I always barf out tons of stuff and I can't help it, I know I come accross as a crazy ex who's still stuck on you, but you know what? DUH. We sit right next to each other all day long, and it drives me crazy! And STOP FLIRTING WITH PEOPLE in front of me even if they're married! GAH!

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I have had bitter thoughts about you for like 3 days straight now. Why do you have the right to take up so much of my energy? It is not right, yet I cannot stop. It's not like I want to think about you at all. I know I am much better off. People tell me this everytime I tell them the situation I was in. It just makes me SO livid all over again each time I think about it.

 

I HATE that you think I am SO upset when I am not. I wanna unblock you just so you can see that i am doing just fine! I know you would look to..

 

Doing well the best revenge- or doing nothing?

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This thread is so depressing. They (the big bad exs) are all the same. They all pretty much tell the same lies. I'll never be duped by an insincere or selfish person ever again (at least that's what I believe at this point), but it's just mind blowing how often the same scenario unfolds accross all demographics.

 

you loser. I really don't know why I'm writing in here. I feel guilty. I feel guilty because the art of me that had a feeling that you weren't as wonderful as I wanted to believe you were ended up being right. I feel bad for not believing in you anymore. I feel bad for feeling sorry for you, like I'm abandoning you. I'm going to abandon you though. I'm almost there. You're just such a disappointment, just the way the majority of people are--I don't even have any truly harsh words for you today.

 

I'm lucky--and also smart for cutting you off. I can't believe how many toxic people I allowed to control my emotions and my decision making. Now that my head is out of the clouds I can see that. I wish there was something I could do to get you of my system faster. I actually want that now, rather than it being something I force myself to do because I know it's good for me.

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It feels very hurtful that you took a girl out for a meal to a village pub in B in April, the night you told me you were having a Chinese with P. It sickens me. You lied and cheated at the same time. You even sent me the usual texts that night. You moved me to second place and I didn't even know about it. Yet you will probably never be sorry. You had a great time and the end justifies the means, and that's what matters to you. You don't want to know my feelings.

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Dear X-

 

How could you break my heart like that? Even after my little sister confronted you about cheating on me with another woman you texted me back and said Missie I told you 2 months ago I wanted to break up with you and as always you never listened. Really Mr. X? That is funny because just the other week you said you wanted to marry me and have kids with me and live in a nice house. Who is the crazy one now? I think that would be you Mr. X. You are a pathetic liar and cannot admit you are wrong and it is pathetic you are already in a relationship with the other woman for a freaking month and even though you will not admit you were still dating me you pathetic loser! You didn't even have the balls to dump me I had to find out on my own because I knew you were talking to someone on facebook I just didn't have proof and I asked my little sister to add your woman and my sister told me everything like how she said your woman went from being single to in a relationship and it even said when her after we just went out together two days before that and you even kissed me passionately. Why didn't you tell me right then it was over? I know because you are a pathetic liar that is why. BTW the girl you are dating is ugly and not that I am a stuck-up person but she is ugly and short and even my friends, my sister and my co-workers said he left you for that ugly looking girl? I remember when we first met you told me how you always have a type tall and skinny just how you like them as you put it. So why would you leave me for someone who is totally not your type? I am not superficial or stuck-up but my friends, sister co-workers aren't stuck up either they are just stating facts saying didn't he have a type?

Edited by MissieP
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All that has happened just seems like a very bad dream that I'm watching from the outside. My worst nightmare realised and it's dragging on and on. I'm doing better day by day but the time it is taking has made me realise both the strength of feelings I had for you and what a dark place I was knocked down to when you told me you didn't want to be with me any more. I'm scrambling out of that dark place little by little.

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