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I feel like it was all my fault. Why why why was I unable to keep you? How do people manage to have successful relationships? Why did I make you so unhappy that you had to leave? I know it takes two people to make or break a relationship, but I feel it was mostly my fault. I just want to hold your hand now. Just that.

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I may have said a lot of ridiculous things after the breakup, but after last night...I find you utterly pathetic and disgusting. You chose to rebound with a needy girl who lives on the other side of the US, just because she gives you attention? Good luck with that. She is in college, do you really think she is going to wait around for you? I don't understand how this makes ME pathetic...

 

Supposedly, you put your feelings for her on the back burner when we got together, really? keep telling yourself that. You just don't wanna deal with the hurt. I can't believe you say your feelings came back for her. you "fell" for her when she was a kid, literally.....13 years old. you were 19. I just can't believe this....makes me sick. Atleast she is of age now.

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I may have said a lot of ridiculous things after the breakup, but after last night...I find you utterly pathetic and disgusting. You chose to rebound with a needy girl who lives on the other side of the US, just because she gives you attention? Good luck with that. She is in college, do you really think she is going to wait around for you? I don't understand how this makes ME pathetic...

 

Supposedly, you put your feelings for her on the back burner when we got together, really? keep telling yourself that. You just don't wanna deal with the hurt. I can't believe you say your feelings came back for her. you "fell" for her when she was a kid, literally.....13 years old. you were 19. I just can't believe this....makes me sick. Atleast she is of age now.

 

Your ex sounds like an idiot. He should learn how to be a better liar if that's how he plans on getting away with things.

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Ok I think I take back all that stuff about missing you. Ooooooops. I am an idiot. It would be nice if I had meant it, and I really loved you but I don't think I do. You probably already know that, you knew it much earlier than I ever did. but whatever, it just in the past, and fine, you'll go on your merry way and so will I. But seriously, even if you become really hot or something, I am not taking you back. Loyalty means something to me, in that department you only get one shot and that is so not my problem. I used to feel so sad, thinking if only I could forgive you, maybe we could reconnect but a big big big big big * * * * that. I made this choice because I really am strong and I definitely know that settling for a cheater is a pretty stupid thing to do. I would rather be alone.

 

So in closing, you are actually the idiot, not me. I guess you were right, it is all your fault and not mine at all. I don't need to feel guilty because you felt guilty about your mistake. It's your problem and I'm so glad I never trusted you piece of * * * * .

 

Why should I suffer because of your bad decisions? It doesn't make any sense. I don't wish you the best, you don't deserve it. I don't care about you and it's my right not to care. I don't owe you anything and I'm not a bad person for disliking you. You have earned my distaste many times over. yay!!! I really am finally starting to get over it completely--a mouthful. This is amazing!!

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Your ex sounds like an idiot. He should learn how to be a better liar if that's how he plans on getting away with things.

 

Thanks, I agree.

When I confronted him about it he denied it and texted me multiple times followed by a phone call because I didn't respond within 20 minutes. he was worried I went and killed myself over the discovery. I told him I was more embarrassed than anything...

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Oh, that was a good one! Sometimes I feel that way too. I'm pretty high up there in the looks department so I don't think my ex will ever be with someone who is better looking than me. Although looks aren't everything, it helps knowing that I will always win in that department

 

Hum. It's not really the way I feel. To be honest I'm only average looking although people who don't know me usually don't think I'm "that old". I was actually referring to the fact that my ex used to say (at 40!!!!!!!!) that intercourse with me was the best he had ever had --- by far. His exact words after our first time were "It's like I had been stuck in a closet all my life and you just set me free". This, amongst other stuff he particularly enjoyed with me, put a lot of things in perspective. I guess he might have realized (well just like me by the way) that he had been married to "the wrong person" for years and all of a sudden he was kind of grateful for his divorce.

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My ex broke up with me two months ago, haven't heard much from him in that period. Since then he has acted like a real jerk. As a response I was very distant towards him. All of a sudden last week he came to me saying: "I don't want it to be like this between us. We should still hang out sometimes. You don't have to wait until I contact you. You can always come to me if you want to do something together." [WHAAAT! Who do you think you are?! Egotistic narcisist! You think I'll still come crawling after you?!] Me: "That will be difficult because I deleted your number." Him: "Ow, where you angry?" [uhum uhum, we need some empathy over here!] "Well, facebook me and I'll send you my number." [WHY WHY WHY would I do that? I don't like you anymore, you are an arsehole! Find yourself a compliant chick who likes wasting time on a capricious immature boy like you! You don't get to hang out with me anymore, because I'm not interested in you anymore!] The conversation ended with him giving me a big hug. I didn't understand what he wanted from me. In the meanwhile he has already tried to call me, but I didn't respond. It's time for you to chase me!

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I know it's not wise to write anything, but I wanted to let you know that if I remove pics or posts it is not out of hate or spite. I need to time to accept what I thought was there was really not. I knew a while ago that whatever we had was not going to work but I didn't want to accept it. I have only really opened up to a few people in my life which I trusted and it all ended badly. I know the same has happened to you and I know that we never really opened up to each other. What hurts the most is that in time I think we would've trusted each other, we just never got to that point. We are at completely different places in our lives and you need to go and enjoy your 20s and 30s so I apologize if I put you in a situation which was not suiting to your needs.

 

In time I hope that we will become close friends and that I know what you had to deal with and will deal with and how it can affect your life. So know that you can always talk to me about stuff you think you can not with other people. Trust me, I have never met anyone I can talk to about growing up mixed and with very dysfunctional parents and I have never met anyone (or their families) willing to accept it. I hope you have better luck than I did. A smile can only hide so much. I enjoyed our time and will miss it but please give me time to move on.

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One thing I realized I still haven't accept yet, is that you're never going to come clean about the lies. In the back of my mind I thought now that you have (had?) a girlfriend there is no reason to keep any secrets from me, but look at how long it's been now. Maybe there is a letter in that box from you, I never thought of that. I guess, I should ask my friend to open for me but I haven't bothered.

 

So--maybe there is something in there. I doubt it though, you're pretty lazy when it comes to doing thoughtful things for other people. At least now I'm not blind to your flaws. You're not a nice person and you are so selfish. Your parents did a terrible job of raising you. Take that R--ie. your mom. Oh well, she's nothing to me now, what a ridiculous woman she is. It's nice to look down on you for a change and actually mean it.

 

I don't know why I thought you become a good person when you don't understand your own flaws. You are living with a pretty severe handicap--I do hope for your sake you realize this someday.

I wouldn't slink back and defend all your lies for you this time around. So you better hope we never see other again because it's not going to be pretty. I'm not afraid of you and speaking the truth--that's the consequence of the choices YOU made--so you better not act like it has anything to do with a personal defect of mine. People like you deserve to be exposed.

 

So I actually meant it when I said I didn't like you--I am so proud of myself for never backing down and not letting you sweet talk into anything. I didn't want to tell you I didn't like you and that I hated you back when I would have done anything to get you back. I am so proud that I did the right thing.

 

Finally the fruits of all my labor are beginning to ripen--just a little. I just need to remember that the image I have of you in my head sometimes isn't the reality. In reality, you're just awful. You always were and I never should have given you a chance when I knew what you were all along.

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I wish I didn't have so many memories of you, nearly 4 months after breaking up and I'll still remembering new things. I've just recalled you commented on one of my FB statuses, very soon after we got together. I can't remember what I wrote, it was something general, something positive about how good I was feeling. And you commented "So SO glad you're happy! " and you knew it was down to you that I felt that way.

 

And now you blocked me, cut me off and have someone else and are probably commenting on her things all loved up. New in-jokes that no-one else will get. Really trying hard not to think like that, think of you and her together like we used to be, but sometimes these thoughts creep in. Thank God I don't know her, that would have been harder on my brain.

 

How things change, eh?! Hmmm. It's certainly a funny old world.

 

Maybe it wouldn't be such a struggle if these memories were bad ones, but in reality I have more good thoughts of you than bad. That's why it's taking so long to get over you, I suppose. You treated me well, I treated you well but somehow it wasn't enough. I suppose we just weren't right for each other. And although we weren't making each other happy I still adored you. I wanted it to work, y'know? I thought there was enough there to make a go of it. You didn't. End of.

 

I'm moving on and have been for a while - but I do still think about you a lot. Who knows what you think of me...it doesn't matter really, does it? For some reason though I hope you don't hold any negativity towards me, I can't see why you would but I don't know. I'm honestly quite fine with you moving on, doing what you have to do. I can't say I'm fine with you having a new girl - but obviously that's up to you! I just mean that the fact hurts. But I guess I hope you're moving on without thinking bad of me.

 

Not sure if or when I'll see you again, I probably will - same town, mutual friends - but I don't know what our lives hold now. You could move away with the new girl for all I know!

 

I have a lot to give a relationship, not now, not until I've healed, but one day I will have a happy and fulfilling partnership and find someone who feels blessed to have me in their life. Right now it seems a shame that you couldn't see that in me when I loved you so much. Notice that? LOVED. Past tense. I don't know you now. To love is to know and understand. I no longer know and understand you. Perhaps I never did?

 

I'll be hurting for a while but it's getting easier day by day - with a few bumps!

 

I want to say "take care" - I want you to take care, I only ever wanted good things for you, but it's still a bit hard when you are the source of my pain. You were only looking out for yourself, I understand that, and that is what I am doing now.

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after 6 years you already found someone new?! what happened to "i'll never get into another relationship after this one" 'there's only you" blah blah blah. All you ever do is lie and now you found someone else?! One minute you want to marry me and then it's like you just changed your mind!

Good luck dating someone you're family likes and calls their own daughter or sister. I hope you feel regret someday and when i turn you down, you feel every hurt and sleepless night i have felt in the last few months. I hate that i wasted 6 years on you!

 

thank you for this thread

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