Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Melting]

Im doing ok, missing you.... but I am surviving quite well!

 

I know you want to catch up at some point, but i don't think I will ever be ready for that.

[northpickle]

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Then I might just listen x

[leelord337]

Celia,

 

I don't know where to start. It just bugs me you are always on my mind...I lay in bed thinking of how you used to lay on my chest trying to pick out songs on your viola, and us just relaxing enjoying life together. Where did it all end? It seemed that everything was great.

 

I miss kissing your forehead and just thinking you were the one i was going to grow old with. Even playing racquetball or tennis. Even making lunch or fixing the garbage disposal, haha, I just tried to impress you every day. I know times change and new seasons come and go, but I just hope I can let myself become close to another woman like I was with you. Its much easier to go back to writing my old novel than to start a new one (if you know what i mean). I lived with you 4-5 days a week for nearly a year...and I did not deserve this type of ending. I never raised my voice at you, and i truly loved you Celia. Unfortunately, i still do... Honestly i want a girl like you in every way but without the addictions, i was hoping to fix you in regard to that. but not the case,

 

I still have your stuff, baby pix etc i just don't have the nerve to throw out. I picked you to love and care about and am not going to tarnish my character by throwing my friends stuff away.

 

take care, hopefully hear from you again someday

 

-Lee

[DailyDreamer]

Right now I'm confused. You always come to me, knowing I'll respond, but I think I'm getting the hang of your antics. I won't look at your actions with hope, thinking you like me and wanting to rekindle anything. I will look at it as though you're being selfish, knowing you can take advantage of the fact that I'm up late and will answer you. I hate how you only answer certain things you want to, to either avoid confrontation or just because you simply do not feel like it. Maybe this is my fault, in that I haven't been able to make the transition as quickly as you and get into friend mode. With all you have done to me, I don't know why I even struggle, wanting you in my life as a friend or anything at all. I think above all else, I have been waiting for you to wake up and come to the realization that I am owed an apology. For you to see how you treat good people in your life, oblivious to the damage you leave behind. Many people in your life are totally clueless as to just how devious and deceptive you are...and I am the only person out there to have seen you with that mask off and tolerate what's inside of you. I know the whole package and it's only a matter of time before your dirty laundry gets out. Treat me better if you still want me to be around when things get real ugly. I know for a fact that I am the best person in your life. I am fully confident in saying that.

[Melting]

About to go to bed and your in my thoughts, I can see I won't be getting much sleep tonight.

 

Sweet Dreams

[littlewings]

I'm sorry. We had a good thing going, but...without your commitment, I had to end everything before I got in too deep.

 

I'm going to miss the movie nights and our cuddling...

[thelastsong]

I wonder what she said or did to change everyone's opinion of her? Your family and friends (and you) used to despise her. Her own mother said she was self-centered and immature. Guess you're a perfect match then.

[RachaelRosen]

I don't feel good feelings toward you at all now like you claim you do for me. I don't even want to see you. I'd rather you just moved on out of town so I didn't have to see you ever. I feel revolted.

 

I've taken responsibility for my own actions, and it'll be the day hell freezes over when you do for yours.

[ParisPaulette]

Wow, you have just done something so phenomenally unsmart that I can barely believe it. In learning about this I see that you are really very ignorant and stupid, although you pride yourself on being smart and insist that everyone else around you must be smart too. I am so, so glad I never stooped to low revenge tactics although I had the opportunity more than once. But you've just done something that is sooo much worse than anything I could ever have thought up, and the best part is that you did it to yourself and I could have saved you if we were still friends and you hadn't used me then dumped me one last time. Karma really is a * * * * * and I think I like her.

 

In reflection over the last four months of NC I have come to realize that I played my own part in this dysfunctional relationship. I let loneliness and boredom cause me to put aside that little voice in the back of my head and continue to open the door to you, whenever you wanted and to allow you to come and go as you pleased. So yeah, I did that to myself and in that regard you aren't to blame. Fool me once shame on you, fool me over and over again...well, you know the saying.

 

Right now I just feel the giddy relief of someone who has narrowly escaped a bad car crash or found out the plane they missed was just reported lost in the mountains. And no, I won't be here when you decide I've had enough time to cool down and not be angry, so you can call and/or drop by to persuade me to be friends again. Instead I'm going to remain NC for the rest of my life with you, since neither one of us does the other any favors. It's not a healthy relationship for either of us and no I don't want to be friends, I don't love you anymore. I hope you find what you're looking for, but trust me it isn't me. Goodbye.

[Moonchill]

What a strong message. Hold on to those thoughts

[jenfu]

I'm not coping. It's meant to be a break but it feels like we're done for good. I miss you so much. You were the person I spoke to when things were wrong. I don't have anyone to talk to now and it hurts. I hope you come back soon.

[Melting]

I have so many questions, so much going through my head. I know that I will never get the answers. You have been a major part of my life for the last 3yrs, its horrible to suddenly not have you in my life anymore. If only you felt the same....

[Melting]

I miss you sooooooooooooooooooooo much, very sad this morning

[Moonchill]

Now I finally figured out why I'm having this downfall after a long time of feeling good and feeling like I'm almost over you.

 

It's the season.

 

This season reminds me so much of you. The fall. Making walks through the beautiful colored forest.

The winter as well... keeping eachother warm. Holding eachother hands. Little things that were so big to me.

 

I miss you so much right now!

For the first time since a long time I feel like I might just cry.

She commited suicide. Can you believe it?! And my best friend broke things off with me. Is there something wrong with me? Where are you to guide me through these doubts and say : let them be.

And then there's my grandmother with her illness. I'm so close to her. And then there's my first ex marrying some English girl and moving to England. I don't think I'll ever see him again. And then there's my inability to run the 15 km I wanted. I'll just blurt out all the negative stuff on some website instead of bothering you with it but...

I'd like to scream :

 

I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW

 

Only the last time I did actually scream that to a friend I thought was a very good one .... he deceided to do the exact opposite of being there for me. He left me for a drink with the guys.

Yes I might sound very imature right now but I just like to scream that life is not fair. I'm angry at life. I can't get my act together for years. I just can't get things on the road. And as people around me are losing patience till I do. I'm finding it really hard to be patient with myself. To give myself the time I need. It takes so much time. It also takes so much more time to get over every relationship I have in life that it makes me wonder why I should even start with one. It takes me double the time to get over a relationship. Sometimes 4x the time or more. I'm sick of it. Sick of being so involved emotionally in everything that ends up hurting me.

 

People that like to be sensitive and feel the world around them don't know what they wish for.

[1guygirl]

deflections, excuses, sorry ones at that....still no spine amongst it all as per...

 

i hope your bd is spent checking your phone to see if i texted...

[thelastsong]

I'm very busy, and it helps to keep my mind off of you. I was sad this morning, but right now, I feel better. Stressed, but better.

 

I hope that news of all my great accomplishments and adventures somehow reaches you. It might through your friend. Does he feed you information? We've been talking a lot. I know he thinks I'm attractive. Are you jealous? Don't worry; I'm not like you. I don't use my friends to make myself feel better. If he tries to make a move or ask me out, I will clearly state that I have no romantic interest in him. Unlike you, I do not take advantage of my friends' feelings.

[Moonchill]

Ok so I just spend a few minutes checking some old/new videoclips of your band and that did me good!

Haha! You're just like a drumrobot. Drum monkey! You play your instrument without showing any emotion except for sweeping your hair. Hahaha just.... hahaha.. You should be in a kraftwork music video. You really should. Drumming like a drumrobot. I should do this more often. Although it's got a downside too because now I know how good looking you still seem to be. But still.. your face when you drum is just hilarious!

[jjbinks]

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead. This time it hurt instead and that's okay, next time it'll last. What we had was special to me and that's all that matters. Your feelings and all of that isn't something I ever have to worry about again. Who cares what it was to you? Who cares about what you do at all anymore for that matter? You said no. You don't want me and therefore you no longer will be a part of my life ever again. And for the first time, I am okay with that because this was your choice. You passed. So that's your loss.

[jjbinks]

I still think of you every night before bed.. Pathetic

[jjbinks]

I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded for me it isn't over

[jjbinks]

I know you can't hold out forever waiting on a diamond and a tether you are about to say goodbye. I sit here, and I know this is it. No more pictures, no way of you to contact me even if you wanted to which you don't. Bc I don't blame me I've had enough of all of these empty promises. I don't have any proof we existed anymore. It's true that to you, maybe we didn't. Not the way I remember us still at least. Now it's time to confront my visual memories in my heart and I'm deleting them. It's painful, but I know you don't want me. It's sad how reluctant I am to do this even tho you already have. Even my horoscope telling me someone old would come back and give you what you wanted makes me want to hold on. You still don't have to do anything to keep my feelings.. Anyways. Right now I'm seeing you on top of me touching my face and looking at me with my favorite ben look. You were in love. This is the last time I will ever see that look. The last time I will remember it. I always wanted more from you ben. You never loved me quite as much as I wanted you to until it was too late. Y couldn't you let go sooner? I guess everything happens for a reason. Just like how I'm nothing but dust to you now. You will be dust soon. And one day I will understand why I couldn't keep those beautiful brown eyes with those long eyelashes and that pure smile that came right after you would blink for a long time savoring whatever you just saw. Sometimes it would be me or the moment others just something you were passionate about. I know you are a great guy, despite what happened between us. The mistakes, the mishaps, bc the truth is as strange as it sounds they were out of love. A higher love that no one understood but us, and that is why we fought so hard for one another. I really thought we could get through anything. Sometimes I felt like I was meant for you.. Even in the way when you were away and I felt things, you felt them at the same time. It all seemed so cosmic. One day this will all make sense to me. I rembeer the last time I saw you in January of last year. how I didn't want to get out of your car. The moment was so heavy it physically caused me to jolt when I got out of your car as if something had been ripped from me. And it had, it was hope, love, and us. I wanted you o stay. But part of me thought us splitting was good, it was the only way and things would be better. And they are. But some things are much worse. The part about me having to find myself was true. But I loved you so deeply that even at my literal lowest of low in my life you made it okay. I guess that's why I thought of how magical we'd be now. There's a reason for this. We had our lows, you never gave me what I wanted and probably didn't love me the same as I loved you. One day I will love someone again, but the difference will be that they will love me back equally and we will be a cosmic force. He won't say no, and he will always lie me. Even when times are trying and there's distance or obstacle, bc life wouldn't be worth it without me.

[RachaelRosen]

I don't feel good feelings toward you at all now like you claim you do for me. I don't even want to see you. I'd rather you just moved on out of town so I didn't have to see you ever. I feel revolted.

 

I've taken responsibility for my own actions, and it'll be the day hell freezes over when you do for yours.

 

I think this way not because you broke up with me; you did what you felt was right for you. I think this way not because of any differing values; I was accepting of it. I think this way not because of emotional dependency; I don't think, "He's such a jerk" just because you didn't do things the way I would have liked, or because of the heartbreak I went through. I think this way because you treated me, someone who you supposedly gave a damn about, with such disrespect, with such callousness, with such inconsideration. I'm no longer that person who emotionally needed her hand held, would needed to be emotionally coddled, who was emotionally fragile; and yet, I still think you acted like a

[dansmi12345]

I'm feeling so much better and you have to text me. Why do you feel the need to pretend we're friends? We're not. You know deep down that I don't want to be friends, but you won't admit it to yourself, and you know I'm too nice to just ignore it. I shouldn't have responded. Just go hook up with that stupid emo kid, even though you know he's wrong for you in so many ways. I was the best thing that could have happened to you, and you threw it all away without even trying. You were so much more stable with me. I know you're going to regret breaking up with me, because I'm way better than any other guy you've ever gone out with. I'm way too good for you, and I'm way out of your league, yet you broke up with me. I really don't hate you, but a part of me wants you to see now what I know you'll see eventually: leaving me was the biggest mistake you ever made. You won't ever be able to commit to anyone.

 

You told me to let you know when I'm free to hang out? Not going to happen. Sure, I'll give you a breadcrumb back in response, because I hate more than anything when texts go unresponded to, but there is no chance I'm initiating plans with you. I don't want you back, not even a little bit. I no longer have a desire to hook up with you, date you, or even touch you. I know you don't believe me, and I know you think I still pine for you, but I don't.

[thelastsong]

I hate your conspiracy theories. Everyone laughs at you behind your back for being so delusional and paranoid. If you knew how many people don't take you seriously in this and other areas, maybe you'd grow up for once.

 

Your best friend told you I was too good for you, and she wasn't the only one who told you that. I know I'm better than you, and I know I'm better than your ex. I guess that's why it doesn't make much sense to me. I was not exactly dating up. You should have considered yourself lucky to be with a girl like me, not tossed me to the curb.

 

And to think my parents were on the verge of buying you a car! I want my stuff back, jerk.

[purrbaby]

I went to a wine tasting tonight. I had some of the wine we both loved. If you would have man'd up and not been the main downfall to our relationship, you could have been there too. Your loss! You missed out. It was an amazing night