Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Dreamsgone]

Do You Miss Me?

 

Is it as hard for you to not contact me as it is for me?

 

Today I realised that I might not love you anymore and instead of feeling happy like I thought I would, I feel so sad.. I cant stop crying.

 

As much as I want to hear from you, There is nothing you could say to undo the hurt you have caused. You used to be able to fix it - But after the other night, your words, your actions.. I know I can never trust anything you say. Your words mean nothing to me anymore. And I miss that.

 

I want to contact you - But I actually have nothing to say to you because I finally realised that nothing I say ever did or ever will matter.

[Starrgrl]

My heart is so numb.

I've realised even when IF I kiss others. It means nothing at all.

I feel nothing.

 

Who will melt my heart again? I am patiently waiting.

[90_hour_sleep]

hi!!

 

i don't really think about you anymore (dunno when that happened exactly...but it was quite awhile ago). life moved on. but...strangely enough...i had a dream about you last night. and...for a fleeting moment...i thought about saying hello. but...really...i've moved on...you've moved on. wow!! we're both alive and thriving!!

 

yep...who knew it would come to this point. fought SOOO hard against letting go of the hope. ridiculous in retrospect. but...somehow necessary. could not have been any other way.

 

 

[Live-N-Learn]

This has been a long road...A journy I never wanted to take but her I am alone while you are with guy number what...8 or 9 since we broke up? It hurts that you are seeking so hard to find a bf but do not want to be with me again. Well you did to a certain point and wanted fwb's and we were for 11 months after the breakup and like a fool in love, I agreed. That ended in November and you still wanted me as you bff...what a joke. I have played the fool or I would already be healed. I am so glad I have finally went NC. It took way too long to let go. I don't know if I even have yet. I just think the pain it causes me of you feeling comfortable enough to tell me you are at another guys house or out with him and can not talk was it for me.

 

So good bye, I hope to heal now and move on. I want to feel good again. This is going to be a long year of rebuilding my life. I know you will reach out again but you will not find me. You are blocked. have a nice life. I know you are toxic to me and have a lot of issues but unfortunately I still love you. God please take this cross away from me and free me from these feelings.

[90_hour_sleep]

you know...keep that in focus...always!!! if/when you feel like you're slipping...remember...''i want to feel good''. i'm in the midst of a breakup too...but it's not with another person. suffice to say...it's been a toxic part of my life...and the motivation now is to feel good. it's simple. the bottom line...holding on is not helping you to feel good. you know that...and that's why you're here...saying goodbye.

 

remember this. do not doubt your decision. you've come to this point because you're tired of feeling miserable. write it down. shift your perception. become healed. it's not a destination...it's where you are right now. make it your intention in life. ''i want to feel good. i want to feel good. i want to feel good.'' with this focus...you will feel good.

[Dreamsgone]

You said you wanted us to support each other - but I cant come to you for support.

You couldn't even show me support when we were together - how can you know?

But why is it that your support is the only one I want?

Today I need you support more than ever - but I don't want to contact you first.

[Dreamsgone]

I really need a hug from you right now.

Its not fair that when you need me - you call me and Im always there for you

But when I need you Im afraid to call you because I don't want to sound needy..

Why does it work like that?

I gave up my whole life for you, moved states for you, moved away from my family and friends and support networks for you.

Now I need you and Im too scared to call you.

You said you wanted us to support each other thru this break up.

Well I have kept up my end of the bargain.. Why is it that Im afraid to call you?

[delicous]

Just don't know what to do, I seriously wish I can talk to you with out worrying about what your new wife will say or do...

I miss how it use to be and when I say this I don't mean right before we ended it, I mean 1 year in...We were so good

to each other...Always Cooking and Singing and Dancing and going grocery shopping and holding eachother like

we are so lucky to have eachother....I miss that!! I feel like im never going to find it again!! And I am happy that you

found it, Just wish it was me and not her...Im hurt but happy for you...Its a weird bundle of emotions...

 

I like my new guy a lot, I thought I loved him until recently....He is trying to get me on birth control so that we can have

unprotected sex....I don't think I want to though,....I still fear being cheated on because of you...You say you didn't but

I know you had to have cheated....I get why, I really do...The guy Im with right now I helped cheat on with his gf=(=(

Im not at all proud of it...I could of waited until he left her...But I in a way helped him get out of it with her, so I guess

thats kinda what your new wife did at the time was help you get out of it with me...It still hurts a lot...DONT think

crying is going to do either one of us an OUNCE of GOOD~

 

I just want you to know I still LOVE you...I think about you probaly a lot more then I should and a lot more than

you probaly think about me...I know you have to sometimes though...theres no way I can't be...I was in your life

for some time dude...I know Im on your mind...I know so many different things now and I wish youd leave her..

But in reality, its not happening and you don't want me anymore and I need to ACCEPT that and move forward...

 

Im so worried with my new man though...and I just am so scared I am going to get my heart stomped on again...

I wish you and I had a 2nd chance through some type of marricle! I pray sometimes...I dream about you rarely

if ever...maybe once a month...but its like I WANT to dream of you but you don't pop up anymore..its mostly my

new man now...I had a dream he proposed to me, had another one that he gave into another girl, like cheated on me

in front of me...like the kind of dreams I was having about you whenever you and I were still together...

 

I feel like I should of never told you about any of those dreams because maybe had I had more confidence in us, we may have

made it! But I put all this negativity into the universe and the universe soaked it up and decided to make it come true and it

did....=( I still care a lot about you and if you ever need me I hope you know Im there...

Another thing, I said some mean stuff to you through myspace after I found out you are married...and btw you lied to me, you weren't yet!

and when I found out about the baby, I freaked!!! marriage and baby 6months after we are broken up...

You did make me cum and you did make me orgasm...just not every time! the 2nd yr in, hardly ever....but I stil

think about you going down on me, eating me out...

YOU were the best at it...

[Snowy]

Same words.

 

I hope you grow up.

 

lol

[Helpmetoheal]

I just miss the way we were together. I wish you did too. Its clear that you don't. Why is this so hard? Finally that gut wrenching ache has gone away, but it leaves me with emptiness. I am jealous that you are living your life and I have to start all over again with nothing but pain and feelings of rejection. It hurts. Its been the longest 10 weeks of my life. I hate the fact that I still feel I would take you back no questions asked, but it will never happen, you won't let it. I am so tired of feeling like this that I would be willing to accept any little scrap you would throw my way. I know I deserve more than that but where is it?? When will it be my turn? I am always waiting. Pathetic but true.

[Love1336]

Why do i feel the moment you start to miss me, I'll be there like a moron. -______________-

[ihatedrama]

Have I ever crossed your mind?Even just for a second?

Have you ever thought about me when you are so happy with her?

I am going through so much pain that I will never want to go through again in my life.

I don't want to hate you even after so many horrible things you did to me.

I know you will never come back and I hate myself so much for still wishing you will be back...

[ManIDontKnow]

What happened to my girl?

[HeartBeat]

I am sorry I couldnt love you the way you needed it. I do not deserve you.

[Love1336]

I feel each day, i need to come less and less to this board.

What can I say to you?

Keep repeating myself like a broken record.

I just don't feel the n e e d to say anything to you anymore.

Cuz the fact is... I am happy without you.

Thank you. for showing me i can live without you.

I can make it through.

I don't need you, and never have...

If you can only see this new Marlene. You'll be so amazed but you'll never get the chance too. i promise.

[Robin2904]

I kinda just wonder if I'll ever hear from you again. Not sure why I even want to at this point. Last time I saw you it was so terrible, so awkward- just so BAD. I was bitter for a long while after that weekend in January, but slowly I've let it go. I'm not to the point where I'm okay with it....with you, but I'm not as bad. I probably never should have went and saw you. In a way it gave me closure- which was good. I honestly think had it not been for that weekend I would have still been hanging on to something SO much more then I am. Granted, there is still a part of me that hangs on to something....but if I never went there and was able to see how over me you were I would have been holding on way worse.

 

I wonder if your lonely these days. If I cross your mind at all. I shouldn't wonder this stuff but I do. I know you were a pretty lonely guy before I came into your life. But I also know you have a tendency to hang out with random girls when you are lonely. I'm sure your doing a lot of that these days. And I bet they are nice, and fill your time but you'll realize they aren't me. Or maybe you won't. Who knows. Maybe you really are happy being this single guy who flirts with all the girls, and has a ton of skanky girls on his facebook. The guy who feeds the girls the same lines over and over so he can get an ego boost. You were that guy before me- I'm sure your that guy after me. I wonder if that's the guy you always were though....even while you were with me. Maybe it's the guy you'll always be. Silly me for thinking I could change you.

 

All I know is I'm not you. I wish I could be like you and just find random guys to entertain me when I was lonely, or hurting. But that's definitely not. That's probably why this whole thing has been so hard on me, and not as bad on you. You latched onto other girls- helped you get over me fast. But me- I couldn't do that. All I did was miss you. Kinda lame huh?

 

And hearing from your mom this week was an interesting turn of events. Though I do think my email to her was a bit too much. I think she probably wasn't sure where you and I stood these days because you always keep her in the dark about EVERYTHING- but when I said that I may be in town soon and perhaps she and I could get coffee- I think that was probably the indication to her and everything between you and I is DEAD. I mean never have I come to town and NOT gone to your house- except for Halloween weekend, but I was with my friends- but STILL I made a point to see you. You came and hung out with us. I didn't mention you one time in my email to her. Skated around the whole thing. I think she realized that's it after this email. I don't expect to hear from her again anytime soon. Probably better that way- for everyone.

 

I wonder what will happen by May when I actually will be in town. I'm almost sure you'll be at the event for Memorial Day Weekend. That's going to be awkward I bet. Or who knows- that's two months away. Maybe not by that point. It will have been what....4 months since we saw each other? 6 since we were officially done? Maybe by that time I'll be fine with seeing you. Though I don't know if I'll ever be okay with seeing you with someone else, so I pray to God you don't come with someone. Part of me just wants to show up there looking more gorgeous then ever, in my best dress looking fabulous, and have you eat your heart out. Say to yourself- wow I lost her. I wish I could look at you and not feel a thing, smile, be polite and act like I'm having the most amazing time ever, then excuse myself and leave you literally dumb founded. Maybe I've played this out way too many times in my head....

[Helpmetoheal]

L, this is for you:

 

The scars of your love remind me of us

They keep me thinking that we almost had it all

The scars of your love they leave me breathless

I can’t help feeling

We could have had it all

[unhappy1]

Hello My Love,

I have been sitting and dwelling in the pain for the last 3 weeks after our split after 9 years, How could you just leave me like this? I feel so abandoned and sad. There are times im very angry and want to go to your house(our house) and ask you to your face what happened.. but I suppose I know, we drank far to much together we argued and fought..I want you to know I havent had a drop since you left me.. But i notice your facebook says you have been having a grand old time getting smashed..

You say this is hard for you through your fake FB ID..but you dot vocalize it..why is that? You have always had such a high horse complex..are you afraid to admit you could have been wrong? It seems that your life isnt getting better.. if anything you are spiraling into that bottle..

You said that my family was to overbearing..yet in 9 years i saw them only once a year.. what was that threat.. you couldnt control them the way you try to control everything in your life? I wouldnt remove my kids from my life.. you said you gave them a chance.. they always walked on eggshells around you.. they knew you didnt care for them the way you should have..

Our relationship was dysfunctional from the get go... why is it that I am having such a hard time getting over you..Because I loved you Bunny...and I still do love you soo much through all the problems..we could have worked it all out..It was a godsend when i met you..you saved my life way back than.. now you kick me to the curb like yesterdays trash...I hurt so bad Baby..

[ManIDontKnow]

Why didn't you just tell me what you wanted?

 

You went abroad for two weeks. Let people who have never once met me convince you I was the enemy. But all I ever did was love you to pieces.

 

You silly, selfish, spoiled little brat.

[delicous]

I always have so much to say on this forum...I just can't think of a good excuse not to come this forum and post.

I love you still so ofcourse I think about you, you can't stand talking to me and i think its because you realize I was

the best thing that you ever had and you realize you really arent that happy but you didm't want to tie me down...

The thing you need to realize and come to terms with: Is that I would of done anything to make it work out, I don't

just go and live with a man and profess my love to him, just so we can end it and on bad terms....

I know Im the one who kinda made it that way, but by you not contacting me or giving me your new number

when we first broke up, KILLED ME and brought out a lot of RAW emotion...

I hope you are doing good, hope to speak with you one day....

 

Im realizing, you really were not the best fit for me and thats nobody's fault...

Okay?...I just wish we could of tried a little harder with eachother with the romance,

with the sex and with the communication which seemed to be good, the communication

I mean but I guess not since you married someone 6 months after we broke up...I need

to stop being angry with you and I need to move on...Its a lot to swallow ....I can't help

but over analyze it in my head over and over again.

 

Im hoping you two work out with the kids and everything but I have this feeling that you

won't and she is going to end up doing you wrong and I not going to be there to put

back together the pieces....even though, I wish I could say I would be...But I can't and you

don't wish to speak with me at all....You called me stalker/harrasser...Why?? Because I

still wish to talk to you???...Believe me ...if my new boyfriend found out abotu that, he would

be very mad and hurt and prob jelous....But I don't dare share those type of emotions

with him. Its him I chose after you...So.....Thats all he needs to know...

 

Anyways, I just really wish I didn't have to post here and could move on with my life without thinking about you

or your family or your new family and new life and without thinking about our house that we once shared together...

Its not that simple fo rme...For some reason I keep coming back to write more and more, its like a never ending

book only going on inside of my head....I love you still, I regret letting you go so easily, but I DID fight...I may have

not showed up out of the blue at your house or at your work pleading for you back, but I did try by sending you a grip of

emails and talking to your sister hopeing she'd pass on the info to you....I want you back!!! But I know its TOOO LATE...

You are married and apparently married with kids...Its done...My new guy wants kids in the future, I don't know what todo...

I don't want to unless its right and unless I know he will not leave me with a kid by myself....He did express his

want for them though..He really wants them in the next 2 years...

 

I don't want to wrck my feminen parts for a man that may end yup cheating on me in the future.

He wants me to go on birth control so we can have sex unprotected, which Im starting to believe is

a big NO NO...I told him he needs to get tested for stds also before I decide for sure to go on birth

control and he first through a fit claiming me not to trust him, well trust isn't something you give away,

its something thats earned.....we got over that fight....

 

I miss you though, bottom line and I wish I was the woman you chose to make babies with not her!

I would of been by yourside until your dieing day, you better believe that.

[Robin2904]

It kind of hurts me that I am more in contact with your mom and sister then I am with you. I never thought that would be the case. Not sure how to feel about it. Your sister commented on my FB status today. It was just me saying how I had SO much food left over, and wish people would come and eat it, and she said she wished she was in NY. Made me smile. But also made me kinda sad. I guess I just miss being a part of the family. I mean not like I was officially, but I felt like I was at times. The last time I was there your mom even referred to me as 'family'. Just makes me wistful.

 

It makes me sad how these days I have more contact with your mom and sister then you. Your mom emailed me the other day, now your sister commented me. And you? I haven't even heard from you in a month. Been 2 since I heard your voice. Haven't heard your voice in 60 days! Well 65 actually! WOW! But maybe it's not all THAT surprising that I still talk to your family and not you. Remember the day I left in January? How you couldn't even so much as be bothered to text me to see if I made it home okay after a 4 hour trip? How you just let me walk away like some stranger at a bus station? Well your mom and sister cared more then you. Your mom emailed me that night to see if I made it home okay- tell me she love and missed me already. And your sister texted me that night to check how I was and if I made it in okay. And you? NOTHING. Not so much as a text. Not until 3 weeks later. I will never as long as I live be able to forget that. It still hurts me so friggin much. Everything you did that weekend proved to me just how over me you really were. It hurt...hurt alot, but was for the best.

 

Just makes me sad.

[sfindependent]

I know we talked about hanging tonight. I still don't think its a good idea. I can't imagine myself wanting to keep suffering the heartache of losing you, in the process i keep losing myself and just keep reverting back to the needy, wishy washy guy i was when i was with you. When we saw each other last, i'm not sure if it was just me, but I did feel that you and I still had some connection. Like we never broke up. But i can't keep on thinking that because, guess what? we did. You dumped me. i'm trying to moving on, and now you're happy, i suppose. So, i'm jsut going to keep myself busy, plan something else and cancel on you. I'm still coming out to your side of town tonight, but I'm not going to meet with you. I'm not going to ruin the strength I gained by leaving my heart wide open again and become subconsciously hopeful that we can get back together. I don't see how or even why. You're not attracted to the value i placed on our relationship. you were selfish. you still are, blaming me for ALL our communication problems. You're the one who always left me wondering how to fix our relationship by not talking to me about anything substantial. I bet if we hang out, you're still not going to talk about anything substantial.

 

get off your pedestal. You're nothing special anymore.

[cdalton17]

Well, Its been 30 hours since I texted ya good morning, I know we will have to talk eventually, We have to much un finished business still. But why do we? What is actually going on? I am torn.. I want to reconcile, But I do not want to beg you for anything anymore, I am finished with begging you to talk to me. I will not do that no more. I will get my strenght back with this that I gave away to you. Slowly everday I will. I will be strong again, I will come out a winner on this. I will make it with out you. Dont know how yet. But I will. One day at a time. if that dont work. One hour at a time. so go and be gone with what you want out of life, With out me. We obviously never was meant to be I guess, I thought you said we were lobsters and mated for life. Was that another lie? You lied to us more than I ever did, Yes I was wrong in things I have done to you, I am accepted this break up, I am seeking help and changing my ways, You are not. Yes I am at the bottom right now, But not for long, Slowoly I will get my strenght back, And when i do, I hope you start to feel the emptiness and pain that I felt. Go Be gone. BYE....

[desertbuck]

We just got back from Tahiti in February. You just went home with me for my grandmother's funeral. We were wonderful together. You wanted to get married and I was looking at rings. You told me that I was your life. What could have happened in the last 5 days to change your mind? Why were you so threatened by my daughter? She is a little loving child who was just getting to know you. I know you are adopted. I know your brother was killed tragically when your were a child and your father was murdered when you were in your 20s. But these tragedies do not give you license to be emotionall reckless. I loved you. I cherished you. Granted, we took things slow. But it has only been 2 years! You are 43 and have never been married. Now I see why. I gave you everything, but you acted like a petulent child. You claim to have sacrificed for me, that you were on my schedule. Divorced people have schedules. In the beginning, my daugter wasn't ready to meet anybody. It had nothing to do with you! She was just a little girl trying to cope with the previous divorce of her parents. You sacrificed nothing to be with me other than a life of meaningless carousing. I offered you a future. I just asked that you allowed me to propose in a time and manner that I see fit. I am the man!! You decided to cut your losses?!? What losses? You are 43 years old and will have to start over. Had you waited one more month, there would have been a ring on your finger...we would have had a life together. I hate you for the rollercoaster I have been on...I love you more than anyone I have ever known and I am saddened by the inescapable truth that we cannot be together!!

[peaceOfmind78]

Unfortunately, we work together. I may not feel like talking to you sometimes that's why I ignore when you ask me how I'm doing. Small talk with you. I don't want to do it. I refuse to. I just want to rant about you all day, but you're not worth it. I know you hardly think of me, so why waste my time thinking of you! I didn't even want to sit next to you earlier. I was just being nice. I am rolling my eyes. I miss you. I hate you. I want you. I need you. I hate you. I'm waiting until I hear that you have moved on. I know we can never be together so move on already!!! Gosh.