Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Melting]

Life is good

[MMT]

How do you really feel? What do you think about? Do you remember me? Are you happy that I left? That was what you wanted? Hah???

You thougth I was sensitive and overthinking. You are seeing now that I cut and its 13 days you didnt hear even a word from me...you thought I come back begging you to try again.you thought I moved because of you..now you can see...its one month i live near you and 2 week i broke up...you never ever could imagine that cut from me..you were so cold and distanced cause you were afraid of me being near you and force you to be with me... I laugh..i laugh at you when i remember you...no one is around you...you are alone you have no one...no one will try for friendship with you as i did...no one does things i did...no one...you know it..haha..i laugh at you...you lost a good friend...i am special...i really special and you know it..you just saw it in first night you saw me...i was good...you regret....you regret as hell....... And i laugh

[AC84]

Do you not consider comfort/love a connection? I don't understand what went wrong but I really do hope you find yourself in a whole one day and you realize that you have made the biggest mistake in leaving me for another one. I really do hope you realize you want me back and I am taken. So you can feel what I feel!

 

P.S. great forum…

[magicangel]

I wonder if it was all worth it?? Do u think of me, probably not i know i lost u Long before u chose to walk away, i guess i deserved it kind of but then again u used me took from me lied to me promised u knew ud never do, but oh well thats life u live u hurt, i wish it was as easy for me as it was for u, the difference tho between u and I is id never dispose of a person as tho They were garbage, the last things u said to me were cruel then again u always knew how to RIP me apart emotionally, funny last Night i slept well, i guess thanks for cutting me off u my dear r the best thing i never had ha

[idontunderstan]

im sorry i didnt realize sooner that you werent happy.

[SydneyGirl]

N

 

I hope people tell you how good things have been for me. I know you thought that I would fall apart.. I know you thought you would've heard from me in the past two years.. You probably expected some desperate or angry text messages.. I know you thought I would weaken eventually.. sorry to disappoint you.

 

I hope that the fact that I picked myself up the very morning after our break up while you were still packing your stuff and put on my big girl pants and went to work like nothing happened shows you that I am a strong person who was always whole and stable within myself. And most of all I hope that the fact that I had a smile on my face when we said goodbye for the last time showed you that I while at one point I may have WANTED to spend my life with you, I never needed you in my life.

 

People have told me that in order to have closure I needed to forgive you, that if I held a grudge against you it would destroy me. I had tried to find forgiveness in my heart for you, but I can't. I don't hate you, and I don't wish any bad on you, but at the same time I don't wish you well, and I think that's good enough.

 

I have however forgiven myself. I no longer blame myself for what you did. My ability to put faith and trust in my partner without question is an asset, not a flaw. It does not make me a fool! It does not make me weak! It shows the strength and confidence and resilience and it's the reason that one day I will be able to open my heart to someone and love them without any doubt. You will never have that and that is sad for you.

 

I assume you're still with her and if you are I'm not really surprised. I think if I hadn't found out and thrown you out when I did you would probably still be draining every aspect of my life and sleeping with her behind my back. I also think if I hadn't given you a chance in the first place you would still be smoking weed and playing xbox in your mums shed. I don't know what I ever saw in you.

[Hazyillusions]

I love you.

[SydneyGirl]

I hadn't actually wanted any contact with my ex, but reading other posts and posting advice, especially on threads about cheaters has had me bringing up old memories and made me realise how far I have come. When I saw this thread I decided to give it a go and I'm glad I did.

[NoIdea2013]

I really miss you today. I truly wish I didn't.

 

I hate that I dreamt about you last night,about you loving me as much as I loved...love? you.

 

I truly wish you were with him when we met and we could just have been friends,the perennial what if. It'd be easier. I don't think it's better to have loved and lost, right now I feel better to have never loved at all.

[periwinkle00]

I woke up early this morning and I had the feeling like something was wrong. I had the thought that you were with someone else. Call it intuition. Thing is, I have absolutely no say now. You can do whatever you want, and f*** whoever you want, if you like. I can do whatever I want too. It's scary thinking about you with someone else, and I am totally out of the picture now. The whole thing where you won't be with me because I don't want kids..that sealed the deal.

 

Thing is, you are a manipulative a**hole anyway. You actually said, last time we talked on the phone that if it had been 10 years ago, and you had met me then, when I wasn't on birth control, then I would be able to have your baby. Ok, that is the assume that I would go through with the pregnancy. What a f***ing arrogant thing to say. I can't believe I didn't get pissed at you when you said that. It's because you said it in such a innocent-sounding way. That's how you manipulate. You pretend that you are innocent and then do manipulative things. F*** you.

[Pleasedonot5]

I wish there was some way of knowing that I wouldn't be taken for granted again, that you'd be my best friend and partner in crime like in our first relationship (not the second), that you'd communicate your issues with me to me -- not social networking sites, and that you'd treat me like the prize and man that I am, then I would be less hesitant to pursuing another relationship with you.

[periwinkle00]

Now that I actually am imagining the possibility of having kids, I ask myself, "Would I have kids with you?", and the answer is resounding f*** no! Actually imagining you as my kid's father? That is just depressing. I don't know how you could be anyone's father. Do I want to have sex with you? Yes, I am very attracted to you in that way, but I wouldn't trust you to raise my kids with my life. Think of all the bad habits they would pick up. You're not a strong father figure. I guess you aren't really to blame. Your own father abandoned you, your twin sister, and you Mom before you were born, and the boyfriend your Mom lived with was a total a**. Still, you don't have a strong enough backbone, but yet, you think you are always right. If I have kids, it will be with someone a lot stronger than you.

 

It makes me feel a bit better about the break up, I will tell you that..and I keep getting signs that it is over for good.

[magicangel]

Last Night i got Two private calls i knew it was u, and im proud to say i didnt pick up, as much as i wanted to text or call now i can say theres no point regardless of everything i dnt wanna feel this pain again and have to start the healing process all over that would truly be foolish, i used to hope ud return to me, but for what? To use me some more? To dgrade me put me down insult me? Nah i miss u but im learning to love me, u should do the same then maybe Next time someone Loves u and gives u will cherish and appreciate

[IAmFCA]

Guess what M? I didn't know this. It has been good for me as well to have you absent. I ran a race this morning. I did ot because I wanted to. I shared it with my SIL. I shared it with friends on fb. My running group gave up the requisite huzzahs. I didn't do it for you, I didn't get your validation afterwards, I didn't miss it per se, though I thought of you and knew I would have called you otherwise. It is good for me. And it will be good for you to discover that I am still me without you here.

 

I had a really nice date last night. So nice. He is so incredibly gentlemanly. He left me at the end of the night, as he always does, though I know he is interested physically he doesn't ask and I don't either, because I know in my instincts someplace I would choose you over him. You are a match in terms of risk embracing, path making, Myers Briggs crazy making for others but so clear to me. Yes, I still believe what I believe, if you are who I think you are.

 

I am super hopeful that without me you will miss me. But I have a voice that tells me, no, I was enough of a drag on your energy that in fact, you will discover weightlessness and miss me a bit.

 

I do have that fear.

 

I teach myself that the way to success is through fear. So I am writing out this fear, staring it in the face. And what can I do about it? I can kick lszdjfk, is what. Just knock the cover off the ball with my athletics and my job. OK. Well, that works for me, doesn't it? And if he never bumps into me to rediscover my incredible joy, well then, I will be available to find the joy that is mine.

 

Dear God I have arrived. I have gotten to this mystical place.

 

I am in awe.

[IAmFCA]

And to my sweet sociopath.

 

The last message I received from you was sent Thursday night. Friday I assume you flew to TX to be with your wife. Because you and I are on the same kid schedule, and you did not have yours this weekend. By Saturday morning the email inbox you have been using was shut off. You now have no way to reach me without revealing yourself.

 

You know I know it is you, and your messages are shifting in their directness.

 

My fb page has a new pic. Yours and Ann's both are completely unchanged to the public eye. She has been told I am stalking you no doubt. It is, I don't know, unusual between you, like a mutual dynamic of love expressed through implicit threat and security achieved through control. Weird.

 

Anyway.... Your marriage seems to be helping you invest more in your guy friends. I dont know what you were doing here. It was bad, whatever it was, if it made you detach from yourself, your history, your friends. You are playing the drums, you are seeing the guys. Maybe this will mean you will let me go? If I think you have let me go, then I can let you go too, stop keeping tabs on you as a way of being smart about my surroundings.

 

I notice a dangerous thing: I get used to scoping you out, in a covert way, and it becomes a connection to you, a habit. One I don't want. But d it all if it doesn't achieve your goal in some sick weird way. I really wish I could forget you and still feel responsible. Instead, I need to check on you and put patterns to your behavior. So I am studying you, and there you are, right in my brain where I have ousted you countless times.

 

Please please please, love your wife exclusively. Not just physically, but emotionally. Cleave to her. Drop me. Drop caring about me. Drop the messages. Drop texts to the other one, if you haven't already. You picked one, you made a pledge. The pledge didn't say: I will have monogamy. Maybe you two don't even want monogamy, what do I know, nothing you told me was the whole truth anyway. I know one thing for sure though, and that is, she wants your whole emotional commitment. She did not like my growing presence in your life, when there was one. She did not like it one bit. And you agreed. So give her what you promised, and stop thinking about other women.

 

Now.

 

And get help to do it if you can't do it on your own. Your future, and others' future, depends on you deciding to embrace your life.

[IAmFCA]

And just for the eyes and ears of ENAers ... I always assume on this thread that I am writing for my ears and eyes and I explore events and feelings without context. So, no my crush was not trying to figure out my dating sitch way back, he was just trying to make conversation and it was thoughtless on his part and witless on my part... And no, I am not falling into the web of my crazy ex. I talk to him with a certain tongue in cheek tone as a way of keeping him at bay in my mind. So my sweet sociopath is a form of derision, not affection. And lets see what else... no I didnt dump my crush though maybe he dumped me. It doesnt feel like a crush anymore. It feels like someone I know, whom I dont need, love, or necessarily even want. And yet there is a part of me that has pledged itself to him which is ridiculous and defies all logic. I have never been this way. So I am going with it.

 

At the very least, unless and until someone knocks him out of my imagination, I can't give myself to anyone else anyway.

 

I notice I no longer want to fix anyone nor even to know the broken.

 

This is all very new. M may be among the broken. We don't yet know.

[t1lersm0m1]

Today's the first day I truly had no desire to write you. But I saw the thread, and wanted to write anyway. I truly only think of you once or twice a day now, and it feels wonderful. I don't really replay anything in my midn anymore, like making love, or you opening a door for me, or being taken to see Phantom in NYC in April. Not your voice, or anything like that. Just more a passing thought really.

 

I'm really ready to say good bye now. I loved you, and you cared for me the best you could. But I deserve better.

 

Good-bye E. Take care. I want nothing but happiness for you!

[iamstrong]

way to go love! He doesn't deserve you! Even if he misses you: let him go! I would wonder who this chap really is if he has lied and covered up his paths with you though!

[iamstrong]

there is a part of me that has pledged itself to him which is ridiculous and defies all logic. I have never been this way. So I am going with it.

 

At the very least, unless and until someone knocks him out of my imagination, I can't give myself to anyone else anyway.

 

I notice I no longer want to fix anyone nor even to know the broken.

 

This is all very new. M may be among the broken. We don't yet know.

 

It sounds like he is love: his history makes it so. If you are going to pledge yourself to someone: make that someone who makes you feel like you are the only one: even from a distance: with actions, appreciation and doing little things: we both know that those little things mean the most. I am sure that there might be someone who remembers the small things that you say and appreciates you for the things that you do with your busy schedule. Someone who thinks of you in a real sense and not someone that they can shag or keep on a string for an extended period of time. Settle for nothing less! You need to value you above all else: even if that means this whacker is a in the past. It sounds as though the crush was paying you spit-service all along. Sorry love.:sorrow:

[iamstrong]

I am going on holiday to the states in two days. I will be looking for a job probably and if I had to pick someone to move accross the pond with me: it certainly wouldn't be you. It would be my spirits mate. He is honorable and kind and funny and remembers the smallest of details. Isn't that what a friend is suppose to be about? Not someone who lies and then once he is caught can't even come up with the truth as I know it.

 

I can laugh with the spirit mate: I can have a fun time at a pub without having to try. The mate is heads above you and your lies.

[Juliette ne pas]

Funny, you think you can still control me, but I am getting stronger, I will find away to get back on my feet, I will not feel guilty anymore for not being able to please you. You are impossible to please, your are irrational and a bully. Why don't you crawl back under whatever rock you came out from under, you foul beast.

[magicangel]

So today has been day three of no calling u or texting u, i miss u like crazy but u are no good for me, even After u said it was over u still call pvt and sent a pointless effing text and for what?? Just to mess with my head u dnt even like me, u made that clear when u said i was annoying af ha and still i want u to Miss me what an idiot i am

[IAmFCA]

I have an image in my head, it's a still shot from a movie that hasn't yet been made. In it, you have shown yourself and requested my attention, that happens before the shot. In the still, my head is turned to look at you almost over my shoulder, my eyes are warm and curious, but my head is cocked a bit like Well, what have we here? I am a woman in full, you can see at that moment that I've continued my running, that I am happy and on my way. You, rather confident before, now begin to realize I am the real deal. The balance of power shifts in this moment.

 

you don't know it yet, but I am the best thing you could ever have, well suited and I get it. one day, you will, possibly in the company of the wrong woman. it will dawn on you.

[iam42]

I am afraid that I will miss you for the rest of my life.

[Firesite]

Ive grown so much since you broke up with me. Its almost been 9 months since we broke up and went NC, I still can't believe its been 10 months since I last saw you. When you broke up with me I thought that I would never be able to move on with my life. Since it was my first break up I learned so much about myself. You taught me everything I know about relationships. I have to thank you for that because now I know what I want from a relationship and what I don't want. I'm still single and not looking for a relationship anytime soon. And I hope when I do find that right person she will be someone who loves me even with my faults and for who I am.