Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[periwinkle00]

I just feel sadness. I'm almost considering blocking and deleting you from my facebook again. I don't want to have hope that you will like my messages, and now I know for sure, there's no point in even talking to you anymore. I can't be your friend. Maybe in a couple of years, but right now, I know for sure that you don't want to get back together with me. Despite the fact that it still says "in a relationship" on your profile, and you like a lot of my facebook posts. I just feel kind of sick knowing that for sure you don't want to get together with me..this is the ultimate factor...because I may not want children, and in fact, I seemed quite sure of it when we were together.

 

You spoke to me about "When you are ready to look for a relationship", so nonchalantly, I might add. This means that you have been thinking about starting a relationship with someone else. You are not ready just yet, but you will be. You obviously have been thinking about this for a while. It's been a year since we broke up, but all the while, you have been stringing me along. It's easier for you to have me around, then not have me there at all. It's the opposite for me. You telling me that that's it, well, it horrified me.

 

We had a few problems, and I have to admit, they were really annoying, but I was willing to look past those things, and grow as a person, in time. Seems that even if I did want children, you wouldn't want to get back together with me. I have to be honest with myself "Do I want children?". The answer is..maybe yes, maybe no. Maybe means, maybe in the next few years, at the earliest. I will probably be quite fertile for the next 10 years at least. The thing is, even when I answer "maybe", to you, and to myself, I still have this feeling like things aren't quite right, and it feels wrong to you. I think what's wrong to you, is my overall feeling about family. You don't understand how I can't get along with my parents, so my foundation is pretty different than yours. I think that if I didn't block you, I would be giving myself false hope, but if I do block you, well, then I guess I will kill any spark that we maybe do have.

[t1lersm0m1]

I loved you. I really did. But the last two or three weeks, I started finding love for myself again. I learned so much about myself last year through the break up with B, and now I've learned even more through the break up with you. I've learned that I'm an amazing woman who has a lot to offer a man. I have an amazing, wonderful, caring heart. I tried sharing it with you. But you aren't emotionally ready for any woman to share her heart with you, because you are pining away for M.

 

I'm almost over you. I can't believe how quickly it happened. I still think of you. I look forward to the day when I no longer think of you. But I know that day is coming, because I can feel this power shift in my emotions and my heart. When I found this site, my heart longed to be with you, to be held and caressed by you. My heart would have rejoiced if we got back together.

 

Now that I've found clarity, I know you aren't the guy for me. I loved you, but you aren't healthy. You are toxic. I have a friend like that, and I've distanced myself from her because she was chronically toxic. But I allowed a toxic man into my life. Someone selfish and insecure. Someone who always looked at the bad side of things. I always tried to help you see the positive. You thought you were having surgery in May. It ended up being in July. You were upset by that two extra months waiting for an elective surgery. I told you that you had the rest of your life to reap the benefits of the surgery, and that two months was no time at all in a lifetime. You would get to work and say "Well I'm shift supervisor, and once again no one told me." And I would say "Yeah but you're getting MORE MONEY for it!" I even joked saying "I'm the queen of optimism." You didn't seem to find that funny. Every time you complained about M, I told you she did you a favor because you weren't happy in the marriage. You said you know. But in your heart, you didn't know it. You wanted her back. I even told you one night when I was drunk that you were still in love with her. And you were.

 

I'm angry and hurt. But I'm no longer confused. And I'm strong. My God, am I strong. I never knew I was capable of this strength. And now that I found it, i will continue building the framework to my emotional strength. I have my concrete foundation, reinforced with rebar. And even if another tornado like you comes along and knocks my walls down, i still have my strong foundation.

 

You know the best thing? I'm not bitter. Yes, I'm angry with you for the way you acted, and the way you ended things. But I know that I am ready to find love with a good, confident, secure man. A man who is driven, who doesn't want to be a bum like my ex husband. I told you this once and I meant it from the bottom of my heart: I would rather be poor and in love than rich and. You can't buy love or happiness. It has to come from within.

 

I have a date Saturday. He knows I'm not ready for anything serious, that I'm just out of a relationship, and he said he's ok with it. We are going bowling. It should be fun.

 

Good bye my love. Ich Leibe Dich. I really did. You were a beautiful learning experience in my life.

 

I feel free. Free to find my happiness. It was in my own heart, my happiness. Not sure why it took me so long to find it. I'm truly blessed to have the life I have. And you were truly blessed to have me in your life while you did. I wish I felt the same way about you, but I know that I will never regret it.

 

Not. One. Second. - Not. One. Regret.

[Melting]

I don't really have anything to say, I just don't want to contact you.

 

I miss you, I really do...

[Kimcwell]

I still can't sleep at night without medication. Luckily, it knocks me out enough so I don't dream anymore. Life as a zombie is okay for now...

[kz91]

Last year was the best year because I found you, this year has been the worst because I lost you.

[Melting]

One minute I am ok and the next I want to burst into tears.

 

Why did this happen too me again?

[NoIdea2013]

I haven't felt too bad today, or last night. I'm still thinking about you contantly, and I know it's unhealthy that I'm day dreaming and fantasising about is getting back togther, or still being together, but it's giving me some postive energy for now, and it might not be the idea of being with you, but being in love that's making me more positive.

 

I miss just lying with you, holding you. Talking about everything and nothing. I wish you had opened up to me more, I wish I could have been the person to help you talk about things that bothered you. I thought I was in soem respects. I remember you saying you felt you could be yourself with me, that you didn;t feel the need to put up your usual walls. That made me feel ten feet tall. It's possibly the sweetest thing you ever said to me. I was special, I'm not like other guys...i hope that was true.

 

I know you're with him, I try to forget about it but I can't. I'm not sure what he has that i didn't, how he gives you butterflies when I don't. perhaps he doesn;t and this is a rebound. perhaps you're meant to be together because he's been a constant presence in your life for so long. You said yourself we were perfect for each other, if you couldn't make it work woth me you didn't know how you would with anyone. I don't know how much of that statement was just meant to soften the blow for me.

 

I haven't contacted you. To help me, but also to help you. It wouldn't be fair on you to have me there in the background, on your phone, talking to you. It wasn't fair to me when he did it, but I tried my best to pretend i didn't mind, even though it made me terribly insecure. I am at the same time dreading seeing you again and looking forward to it. I know it'll happen eventually. I don't want you to just be a memory, but I think you think I don't want to know you anymore. I do, but just now it's not fair on anyone if we talked.

 

I really do want you to be happy. That's what true love is I guess. Hoping someone is happy even if it isn't with you.

 

I miss you so much. I wonder if you think of me, even in snatches, and I hope, even if only for a moment, you miss me too.

[t1lersm0m1]

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for breaking up with me. It was a blessing, and I am grateful.

[iamstrong]

It turns a cheek that you are engaged to another bird up the block. But you want to be friends with benefits with me. How does that make any sense? I am a powerful woman: not one of those chippies you have and are still shagging. You say you value my friendship: it is shameful that you don't value me. How dare you? This is mad! You thought you could court me while shagging others? You thought I would sit and be passive during this time of your own exploration? You are mad!

 

I caught you in a grand lie and things went snowballing from there. People on this site have told me to look for red flags: I initially thought to turn a blind eye to them: he is just sowing oats I said: he is just stretching his horizons I said: he is a gorgeous man with a tight bum and I would wait I said: Do you have any idea just how your actions show that I mean nothing but a shagging challenge to you? Now that you have been spotted you still want to be my friend? I doubt you even know what a friend is.

 

And so now I will enjoy the company of my spirits mate. He knows how I deserve to be treated: just as a person with feelings.

[Limiya]

YESS!!! I AM OVER YOU!!! And i will NEVER EVER take you back. Good riddance. You did me a favour.

[bwhite00]

Every day I don't talk to you or see you helps me get over the entire situation.

[trappedwandere]

I don't want to be married to you any longer....after the horrific way you've treated me and handled things, I finally no longer question that.

 

But I do want to know-why?! Why didn't you try? I did. Why didn't you talk to me-this intense anger from you came out of absolutely nowhere.

 

If we were to end, I wanted to at least part with the respect that an 11 year friendship, much less new marriage, deserves. You always said that if anything were to ever happen, that's what you'd want too. I guess that's just one more thing you lied about to me.

 

I wanted to be able to hug, be happy for the good times we have, and accept where we were at now. But instead, you choose to be mean and awful, demeaning, controlling, and outright cruel.

 

And ironically, you-the person who's hurt me unimaginably-you are the only one I want to talk to. And I hate you for making me want that, even after all you've done.

 

I miss the person I thought you were. I wish I could have that person back for 5 minutes.

 

I hope I don't stop trusting in people now-it was so hard for me to trust anyone before you came along. Please don't take that away from me too.

 

I love you...I miss you....I want one last hug.

 

But that is never to be. I know the person I thought you were is gone forever and all that's left now is a controlling child who won't take responsibility for anything and who doesn't care one bit about anyone but himself.

 

Man....I miss my best friend

[periwinkle00]

Ever since our conversation a few days ago, well, first I went into a deep seclusion, then anger came, and I am still experiencing that.

It has been 10 months since I last saw you and kissed you, and still, it's taken until now to finally understand a little bit what is happening here.

 

I have been contemplating the entire relationship. I question how you could call me, especially right after the break up, every day, and still not have the strong urge to actually see me.

 

Since then, our calls have gradually become more and more infrequent. When I spoke to you those few days ago, you made it so clear that you were looking for someone else.

 

It finally hit me. The final factor was that I don't want kids (or I am not dead set on it anyway).

 

Right from the get go of our relationship, you were not fully there. You felt really bad about yourself. You didn't have a job, and you were still feeling awful about your last break up. She had gone and married someone else and had a kid pretty soon after your break up. When I met you online, I didn't even live in the same city as you. You probably had no idea I would be moving to the same city. I didn't move because of you, but it was convenient.

 

You were always self centred. You didn't even really care to know what was going on in my life a lot of the time. The conversation was all about listening to you, and I didn't mind, honestly. I knew you were hurt, and you had a good heart, and I wanted to let you know how beautiful you were.

 

Now I realize it was all a bunch of horse sh**. You just never were fully there. Often putting yourself into seclusion from just about everyone. Hiding in your room in your house playing video games. I didn't take it personally, because you did this to everyone at the time. Still, maybe I should have gotten the hint that this was not a good relationship. I know I needed this experience, and boy did I change! I went through the fires of hell. Many days, since I was not working myself, and had no direction, really, I would just pine over you all day, listening to sad songs. Somehow I felt I needed this experience. I spent SOOOO much time thinking about you. You were at the forefront of my attention pretty much all day. I know that I was not at the forefront of your mind most of the time, which is probably a good thing, but I honestly don't think you cared much about me at all. You loved me, and still do, but you didn't give a sh** about me.

 

I was such a sucker, and I actually feel bad for the next woman who falls into your trap. Maybe she will have a bit of a better family life, which will make you get along with her better at a core level. I sure don't have a great one. Still, you're not one to change drastically in a short period of time, and we all have our patterns. She will be a poor soul indeed. All of your relationships have not lasted much longer than a year, so I suspect you will keep that pattern, and hey, if you find someone new who actually inspires you to be a [better] person, then good, but I honestly don't want very good things for you right now. You broke my heart so bad, and it's difficult to accept that you will never want to be with me again.

[t1lersm0m1]

Liberating, isn't it? I somehow reached this point this week! And feel so FREE!

 

YESS!!! I AM OVER YOU!!! And i will NEVER EVER take you back. Good riddance. You did me a favour.

[periwinkle00]

I just had a realization. Just wondering and wondering, while in the relationship, and now, what the f*** went wrong, well, I wouldn't be wondering so much if you were just honest with me about how you felt and what you thought. In truth, we were both lying to ourselves about what we were doing, the reasons why we were doing them. Well, I can speak mostly for myself, because I was in a constant state of denial, but the fact that you were not in a constant sort of state of anxiety like me, should have given you clear enough thinking. You should have just told me the truth, about yourself, and about what you thought of me. You left so much up to the imagination. Here I am, trying to figure it all out. What a f**king waste of time. Just be honest for God's sake. I can take it. Even if it hurts, at least it's honesty, and you can get over something like that a hell of a lot faster than a big f**king lie.

[magicangel]

I know u, I know who u r and what ur about and still I let u in my effing head but no more, u dnt care about me ur a selfish excuse for exisistance, I thought I was pathetic but no ur the pathetic one, after today I won't cry for u I won't chase u I won't let u continue to destroy and bring me down u r so heartless I hope u never feel how u made me feel, tho I must thank u because of u noone will ever hurt me again, I will try not to come here anymore u dnt deserve my words thoughts tears,

[micro]

I'm lonely tonight.

I wish you were here, so we could spend time together...to look again at your beautiful smile....

I miss you very much.

[MMT]

Do you have someone around you? dont you miss me? dont you want me back?

[Melting]

You didn't awake me in the night like you usually do.

The nightmares are disappearing.

I had a big cry last night, not just over you, over all the ex's that have treated me the same way.

I really did have rose coloured glasses on with you.

Big lesson learned there

[hopelessincan]

This is sad. I am sad. Not sad -depressed, but sad -pitiful. I want you. I just want you. I know there's so much better out there for me. I know I'm better than what you gave me. I'm so aware of that yet I don't care. We were so perfect for so long. What happened? I know the answer.

 

I think about my past boyfriends, and even the new guy I have a huge crush on. Him especially....he's got it all. gawd does he ever. He's hot as hell, owns his house, has toys (though you know I could care less about that) On paper he is perfect. He's in my league as you would say. But still, I don't care. On paper you are a complete disaster. I know you started to try and deal with your stuff and I commend you for that. I do take some credit though. At least in some way I influenced you positively. I know you will look back on that eventually.

 

What's really ironic though, is how I fell apart! You loved that I had my stuff together, yet were so intimidated. I would have given it all up for you, you know,

For a long time after you left I could have cared less as long as I didn't have you. Deep down I knew better and did the bare minimum to keep things in order (like keeping my house or whatnot) but I've lost that drive. Its there somewhere still, but I cant make that effort more than I have to.

 

I want you. Only you.

 

yet in my true form....he's messed up. On the outside, he's got it all. He and I have such deep conversations and man is he confused ..... but that's ok. I know his issues, but ive somehow managed to keep up with my 'happiness'' with him and he thinks I am fantastic. I know his crap, but I fake though and manage to convince him and everyone else that I am happy. He think you are a jerk though because you just took your son away from me like it was nothing. It sucks and it hurts bigtime. He thinks you could have at least weaned us off each other.... but maybe in your head you were already doing that since you bailed at easter. Who knows with you really. It could have been nothing but it could have been a huge sign. Remember last Canada day? I pretended I was fine ..but I wasn't. But you were sick.

 

You don't deserve this sickening longing I have for you. I can now look at other men and see potential, see attraction, see what I was missing from you...... but yet it still makes no damned difference. What did you do to me? You weren't so fantastic, what the hell? Thing is..............I think we were perfect for each other. I do, I really do. We brought each other down sometimes, But we brought each other up too. Things got rough in my life, and you bailed. You didn't feel it anymore..... Well I'm sorry I couldn't live up to that pedestal you had me on for so long. You had built me up for so long to be that perfect woman in your eyes......and all I did was disappoint you. Of course I did. Perfection doesn't exist my love.

I was so different from your exes that you expected better from me. I know that. But Im still human.

 

Went out tonight. Saw an old friend. Im patching things up that I messed up when we were together. It felt good to see her. Yet bad at the same time. She's a reminder of you. Yet you never met her. Shes a friend I lost when we were together. Because I did stupid things. I put you first, when you didn't deserve it.

 

I have a feeling you will hear from me soon. Ten weeks after last I tried. I just need closure. I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me. Thing is. I don't think you can do it. You do love me and I know it. But I also know it doesn't matter. We are over. You need to hurt me bad so I can completely move on. I need to hate you and stop seeing all that's good about you. I love you. xoxoxo

[magicangel]

Sometimes the answers we are looking for r not the ones we get, but in a strange way eyeopeners, i dnt feel sorry for myself at all anymore cuz what i felt was pure one day u will remember me be it from a song a fragrance or just something simple someone says and u will feel a bit of pain for the fool who loved u with no limits, im not afraid of tomorro anymore

[Melting]

Missing you less and less and loving myself more and more

[tarzann22]

okayy, so you sent me a snapchat. When i first got it, so many things went through my head. I finally opened it and all it did was make me angry, pissed off. It got me thinking why on earth are you contacting me, are you trying to be my friend? I cannot at this current time forgive you for the things you said to me. You were my best friend and you said things that a friend should never say to another. To me its been 3.5 months now, it feels like its been longer, i feel that you are the past and its long gone and over. I am happier now days even though you plague my mind. It got me thinking did you send me that snapchat just to me? or was it to other people also? but why would you consider sending it to me when we arnt even on talking terms? i guess its a question i wont know and im fine with not knowing.

 

I was so angry and pissed off at you for betraying our friendship, but something clicked in me and i know all these questions need not be answered and to let go and just "dont worry"

[periwinkle00]

I think after Tuesday/Wednesday I am going to deactivate my facebook. I told you on the phone a few days ago that when you liked my facebook posts, it sent me mixed signals. Since then, you have stopped, and now I just feel depressed. Thing is, I feel bad either way, because I know you are certain about not being my boyfriend.

 

I honestly don't have a lot of contacts on facebook who I talk to regularly. Facebook just reminds me of you, and to be honest, it would be best if you don't have my profile there to look at if you ever miss me. I don't even know if I would answer your phone call. There are more productive ways for me to use my time, and in a social way too. I don't have many friends in person, which is why I like facebook. It becomes apparent though, that I don't have much in common with a lot of my facebook friends. There are other sites for posting that would be more geared toward my interests, where I can connect with others, like tumblr probably, and pintrest. I also made a really good friend not long ago, and he sort of keeps me afloat in all the misery.

 

So I will be posting a lot more here, not that you will ever see it, and that's good I guess. I have a facebook group where I write, and it's mainly about you anyway. Most people don't even look at what I write. I guess they can't be bothered to read about someone who feels so bad about their ex (it shows me when someone has seen the post). More productive to write here. Not all of what I write is about you. I have some great illuminations about others things, and maybe I will start a blog for those thoughts, although I wouldn't want anyone to steal my material.

[periwinkle00]

If only you could see what I write about you. It's amazing, the amount of time. All this time I thought you wanted to get back together eventually, and you even implied it, but all along, you just wanted me to not find someone else, while you went off and kept your options open for other people. You say you are not ready for a relationship, and I get that, but honestly, you just wanted to drag me along.

 

I'm sick of it all, so now, I know there will be no reward in me going back to check how you're doing every once in a while. Me seeing how you are doing will not stop you from looking for someone else. If anything, it might make you feel more comfortable while you look for someone else, or maybe still hold a bit of a flame for me, but the flame isn't strong enough. It is final that you will not get back together with me. I know that it's for the best, but I don't really care right now.