THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Love1336]

A month and a day.

I want to break NC so badly. Truly do.

I want to see you again.

Ugh!

[danzman]

Day 11 - this has been the longest time we haven't been in contact since we met. When we broke up 3 weeks ago I cracked after about 10 days and tried to call her which didn't end well Although I want to contact her its far too soon, and although I feel a lot more mentally in control, I suspect that if I spoke to her that control would go out of the window...

[Lightning87]

Day 2 - really wanted to message him last night but I decided it would be better to fall asleep and stop the temptation. Woke up thinking of him. Is he even thinking of me or is he moving on now?

[Divine010]

Day 11

 

You texted me yesterday and hoped I was doing well. I won't flinch. I am not even faized. You are no longer important to me and will not be significant person to me in the future. I have to be strong now because you weren't. I have to show you that I will not keep in touch or be another option for you just in case this new person doesn't work out. You are on your own. I'm done.

[HopefulNessie]

Day 8

 

Today is your birthday. I hope you have a great day.

I don't consider this breakin NC because I'm not expecting a response, but I did write him a happy birthday message on Facebook. Just said happy birthday and that I wish him all the best and happiness.

I dreamt about him last night. It was bittersweet. I hope I will be seeing again in the flesh and not just in my dreams.

[Bow83]

I'm in.

 

Day 4.

 

Spoke to James tonight for the first time since we split, I just told him I screwed up and acted like a tool towards you, but told him I'm doing fine and getting out and having a laugh. Adam said to keep giving you your space and do nothing. I'm trying but really want to talk to you now, but I know if I stay strong and keep working on my own, I'll be in a better place and hopefully you will be to if you already are.

[Love1336]

Ugh. I am always dreaming about you.

Why? -A month a two days.

[chrisbuilder]

Ugh. I am always dreaming about you.

Why? -A month a two days.

Got the same problem! Got some sleeping medicine today, hopefully will make the night go smoother..need to start sleeping properly

[transmit]

Day 8

Full schedule, seeing friends and going on a date tomorrow. I miss him as usual but it's a low hum in the back of my mind - not overwhelming and not taking away from my good mood. I can deal with that.

[flatplane]

NC and NIC day err 34.

 

precisely 3 months tomorrow since we split up. I don't think of her as much. No idea what she's really up to at the moment. Last time i spoke with her she'd barely changed, whereas I've come on in leaps and bounds over the past thirty days. Working together this weekend, so I'm sure NC will be broken.

[lovebre]

Day 37

Today I noticed I don't think of him every second of the day. The weekends don't suck anymore; I can look forward to them again. I haven't been sad over the break up for a few days, but I have been "angry." Angry at the fact that he actually left me for someone he felt was better, but got cheated on by the girl in the end. I would have NEVER stepped out on him. NEVER. But it happened. I consider it a blessing in disguise. He didn't deserve me.

[ks1986]

Day 45:

I was starting to get a bit surprised that he hasn't broken NC because me not talking to him was the only thing that seemed to bring him to tears although he agreed NC was best for both of us. I guess I was assuming he was making some progress on letting the past go because he said he wanted to be friends. Last night my roommate bumped into him, he was caught off guard and awkward. When asked how he was, he responded "I'm happy." This seemed to be him trying to passive-aggressively send a message to me as he knew I would be told. I just feel like it's more mind games and shows that he is still hung up on things and perhaps reassuring himself that he is indeed happy. The fact is, it bothered me briefly, but it really doesn't matter what his intentions were. I'm done trying to figure it out anymore. I've changed so much but I'm just realizing that he may never change at all and it seems like he has made no progress whatsoever. It's sad that people cling so desperately to resentment and vindictiveness when those feelings really don't accomplish anything but distancing yourself from others. You can take a hardship like a BU and learn from it and become a better person as I have or you can regress and become more insecure and distrusting going into the future dragging all your baggage with you as you jump into a quick fix rebound relationship as he has. Days are starting to pass at a normal pace again and I'm going long periods without thinking about him. Do I even want him back anymore? I don't even know...By the time he were to be in a place where I would take him back it will have been years and I will have probably moved on to bigger and better things! I deserve better than what he has to offer me right now.

[Bow83]

Day 5:

 

Feel ill, but feel a bit more optimistic that I'll see through the next month without breaking NC. If I was to message her today, it'll be along the lines of Hey? What's up? A nothing message, therefore no point.

[Lightning87]

Day 3:

 

Missing you so much. I know you are at your best mate's sister's wedding tomorrow and all I can think of is that you might hook up with someone...meh...

[Lightning87]

And you just made me break NC by contacting me about the dog insurance...I had to reply...

 

* * * * YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[danzman]

Day 12 - slept badly last night thinking about things but today I'm not sure I even would want you back given the chance

[flatplane]

NC/NIC Day 35, precisely three months today since BU. She's still with the guy she got with two weeks after we split, even though apparently there was "no one else" and "it all happened so quickly". Have an overwhelming urge to contact today and arrange something. Please talk me into/out of it. My story is familiar to a few on here.

[saroec]

Flatplane - don't do it, if she's decided to move on so quickly, the only thing that can come out of contact and/or a meet is hurt. She knows where you are if she wants to contact you. Stay strong!

[flatplane]

Flatplane - don't do it, if she's decided to move on so quickly, the only thing that can come out of contact and/or a meet is hurt. She knows where you are if she wants to contact you. Stay strong!

 

TBH I know that there not being anyone else was crap. Looking back she had emotionally checked out around a month before she pulled the trigger, and was probably upping her interaction with him (As he left his LDR a week after she left me). I was just too stuck in my ways to see it at the time. Doesn't stop me still wanting her. How can I feel like this 3 months post BU. I've just had to close FB chat as she's just come online. Trying to save me from myself.

[saroec]

The fact that you were strong enough to close chat, that's a good sign, you know in yourself that it would be self destructive to contact her. Unfortunately, contact is up to her, so you have the difficuly job of sitting back and waiting. Try to keep yourself occupied, meet people (not for relationship purposes obviously) try and keep your mind off contacting her. Keep this strength you're already showing, and multiply it by 100!

[flatplane]

Thank you for that Saroec. I had a bit of a lapse. Been having a pretty crappy day, suspect I'll have to deal with her tomorrow anyway, but I'd rather it be through the circumstances of work than me obviously making the effort. Been doing all of the stuff suggested and I'm much better than I was. It's still damn hard. Thinking/knowing that I no longer mean anything to her after all that's gone on.

[martyfarty]

day 2 .

 

dated for 1.5 years. been trying to work it out for 7 months. been on and off. i tried NC 5 days ago but she showed up at my work. we got into a fight wednesday night. sent her an email on day one stating:

 

I’m sorry.

I regret nothing more in life than what I have done to you. It was wrong, stupid and immature and you do not deserve any of the grief and anger I have caused you.

I can’t bear to see you unhappy because of my actions. When our relationship began, I promised {to myself} that I would make you happy. I failed. I failed both of us.

 

 

 

back to NC. going to TRY to stick w/ it.

[chrisbuilder]

Man, I'm three months past BU and I still feel like * * * * . So, you're feelings are normal! Is it me or does it seem harder for guys to move on?? Girls pitch in!

 

Anyway, next week is my ex birthday. She knows I had already booked my tickets to come and celebrate it with her. I still have the tickets and intend to use them. Not to see her...but I will sneek in early to her town to visit the familiar places, to say 'good bye' as it were, before she'll wake up. I don't want her to see me, lest she thinks I'm stalking her. But I need the closure.

 

Two days ago she blocked me on skype. The timing, a week before her birthday, doesn't seem a coincedence: I suppose it's her not so subtle way of letting me know she doesn't want me to contact her for her birthday, or see her when I'm there. Well, what can I say, she seems to be a * * * * * . I hadn't thought of her that way before, but she doesn't leave me much choice.

 

Yeah, whatever.

[chrisbuilder]

TBH I know that there not being anyone else was crap. Looking back she had emotionally checked out around a month before she pulled the trigger, and was probably upping her interaction with him (As he left his LDR a week after she left me). I was just too stuck in my ways to see it at the time. Doesn't stop me still wanting her. How can I feel like this 3 months post BU. I've just had to close FB chat as she's just come online. Trying to save me from myself.

 

By the way, this was in response to Flatplane

[IAmPerfection]

Day 1 for me, started at 5:42 EST. If you're interested in the full story, you can look it up by clicking my name I think.

 

I love this girl with all my heart, made a fool of myself by begging for her to come back, and I feel like dying. She told me that she still loved me and misses me, etc. but avoided meeting or working on things. It got to the point today that when I asked if she wanted to be friends, she said that she didn't know. I asked why the love and everything she had for me had just suddenly died, and she said that she didn't know. I sent her a long text, telling her that I won't try to make her be my friend, girlfriend, or even a part of my life. I told her I was ashamed and embarrassed that I begged for her, and that I am moving on. I apologized once again for any hurt, anger, sadness, etc. that I'd caused her, and told her that I hope one day that the girl I fell in love with and the girl that gave me promises of forever will wake up and realize what she had. I told her that I love her regardless of how she feels about me. I ended it at that. I don't intend on texting/calling/seeing her for at least a month. I have things that I need to work on and I know that. I know at this point, because of my weakness, if she did contact me I'd probably cave. I'm going to do my best though; I doubt that it will even be an issue because it appears that every positive feeling she had towards me has died. I've deleted her on facebook, twitter, etc. and I will do my best not to get curious. The thought of her with another person turns my stomach If I don't hear anything from her in the next month, I plan on shooting her a friendly text asking how she's doing, and going from there. Who knows though? I just have to go one day at a time.