saroec

The fact that you were strong enough to close chat, that's a good sign, you know in yourself that it would be self destructive to contact her. Unfortunately, contact is up to her, so you have the difficuly job of sitting back and waiting. Try to keep yourself occupied, meet people (not for relationship purposes obviously) try and keep your mind off contacting her. Keep this strength you're already showing, and multiply it by 100!

Flatplane - don't do it, if she's decided to move on so quickly, the only thing that can come out of contact and/or a meet is hurt. She knows where you are if she wants to contact you. Stay strong!

We were on our break from the 8th March, by the 14th he told me he had made his mind up, said that I could come and collect my things from the house we shared. I didn't, I left it a little longer, and he kept texting, sometimes he'd be nice and slightly affectionate, other times I'd just get a one word answer. It took him 2 weeks to tell me he would bring my stuff to my house, he offered after I said I'd come and collect it. I used to get so excited waiting for him to come and meet me, or pick me up, but this time, the fear I felt was horrendous, I was terrified I was wrong and he was coming to break it off for good. He even told me that it was over when he came round with my things, but as he spent more time with me, he changed his mind, he started to look more relaxed, and happy, and suddenly whispered in my ear "if I told you I didn't love you, I'd be lying," told me he would never break up with me again and that he wanted to be with me. Things can change in the shortest amount of time..

During my break up, I had a lot of friends tell me to just get over him, to block/delete him, and just forget about him.. When you KNOW they still care, that's the most impossible thing to even consider.. I say, always have hope, otherwise, what's the point? x

My situation seems similar to yours in some respects, mine was very distant one day, and then texting constantly the next. My only interpretation is that at the time, they don't know what they want.. kind of like, they want to have it both ways.. I suppose it is similar to those who have been dumped, some days are good, and some days are bad. Having been in each others lives for a long time, there are bound to be things that remind both parties of each other, and influence whether the day will be a happy day or a sad day, if you see what I mean? I knew in my heart that he loved me, I don't know how, but I just knew it, and I think ultimately for me, it was the time spent apart to really evaluate the relationship, and its positives and negatives, that really made us both realise how important we were to each other. I guess the most important thing is to wait and see, I know it's the hardest thing not knowing, and the 'i don't know' responses to every question get incredibly frustrating. Ultimately though, they will know what they want one day, and the NC period is good to give both parties time to know what they want.

ks1986 - we organised to meet 3 weeks after we broke up. I didn't bring up the stubbornness first, he just out of the blue said "I know i'm seriously stubborn, I bottle things up, and I promise I'll try my best to talk more." He said that we both had to work at better communication with each other, as we are both stubborn, which used to inhibit any productive communication without silly little bickering arguments. Nessie - absolutely, time is a great healer, whether it heals the wounds from the relationship and makes things better, or whether it heals the heart and you can move on. I hated being apart from him at the time, but looking back, it was a great time for me to realise that I wanted to change things about myself, not for him, but for me.

Nessie, I only needed to read to 'stubborn' in your post before I knew I had to reply! My ex was beyond stubborn, NEVER talked about anything. Would just bottle everything up, and then get to boiling point after a few tiny little things tipped him over the edge. Since getting back together, he has promised to talk about anything that is bothering him, regardless of how small, or how silly it seems. I think the important thing is that THEY have to realise that they have made mistakes too, and they need to be committed to changing these relationship threatening behaviours.