Bow83

Day 5: Feel ill, but feel a bit more optimistic that I'll see through the next month without breaking NC. If I was to message her today, it'll be along the lines of Hey? What's up? A nothing message, therefore no point.

I'm in. Day 4. Spoke to James tonight for the first time since we split, I just told him I screwed up and acted like a tool towards you, but told him I'm doing fine and getting out and having a laugh. Adam said to keep giving you your space and do nothing. I'm trying but really want to talk to you now, but I know if I stay strong and keep working on my own, I'll be in a better place and hopefully you will be to if you already are.

I'm doing my best to give you your time and space, despite the self loathing I have given myself to text you the other day. Just end it now or say you want me back, I'm fed up with being ok one min then all over the shop the next. Why is it ok for you to text me and say I'm looking hot, but if I want to say hi and hope you are well? nothing. I've reset my feelings and saw your new picture today, it was painful to see how good your looking at the moment, but least it's given me the kick up the butt I need. I'm going back to the gym tomorrow and time to work on myself. I miss you so much and I love you. I'll probably dream about you again.