martyfarty
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back at 1. broke down and called her. then kicked it for a few days. then got stabbed in the heart from a third party. found out she moved found out she flunked out of the community college found out that she wants to hang out with her 'ghetto high school friends' found out that she wants to buy a house found out that she is only working a few hours found out that she wants to eat out, boat rides, shoot guns, etc... found out her mom always puts her down found out that her brothers are all losers and she is turning 30 soon.
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oh man, you guys got it on the dot. The anxiety does creep up on us. At fist i didn't know how to handle it, but like you guys said. i welcome it. recognize it. listen to it. and let it pass. i get it most of the time when i wake up. or at specific hours, and days of the week.
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yeh, i did the whole drinking thing for a week. i'm going cold turkey again starting tomorrow. its not working. makes it worse. but i already knew that and still wanted to try it. go figure.
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
martyfarty replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I F.UCKEN HATE YOU , YOU H.OE! I can't believe how you make it seem like everything was my fu.cken fault! I want to call you to scream at you! But i'm on day 27 of my contact and i'm not f.ucking it up for no one. i'm not like you! i don't like F.ucking things to make a person feel a bit better! -
day 27. still trucking along. the summer heat sucks!
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
martyfarty replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
i hate you, b.i.t.c.h. -
yeh, we're human. wish i was perfect.
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oh, i have a lot of homegirls. They tell me that crap all the time. dating and seeing people makes me feel sick to my stomach still. It feels that i'm lying for some reason. I can't give the 'date' my full attention. I guess i'm the type that hides in a hole until i'm ready to do something.
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day 24 i've been drinking more then normal lately. i guess its my way of healing ( use to bartend at a night club ). I'm not talking to any females, nor am i looking. i've been using my time to focus on my business and my future. I guess I can say the cliche sentence: " i'm just doing me " I refuse to find a rebound. My goal is to face my fears and end up better.
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day 22 its been getting a bit better lately. when i wake up in the morning i do still miss her but i'm good at making myself feel numb. other then that, i'm starting to feel better when i go out.
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day 20 i'm starting to get use to this. 10 more days till 30! it still hurts. i still have a short emotional temper. i still get a bit of anxiety when i go to places or drive by a few areas. other then that, i have the rest of my life to go! Waiting for Autumn to show up. I can't stand this Vegas Summer Heat!
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day 19: " I guess i had to go to that place to get to this one. " One day I will be alright Until then, i'm doing me. No rebounds. No looking. Just time to heal and recover the right way. that is will power. lets do it! i've made it this far. I've learned so much.
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
martyfarty replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
i * * * * en hate you, * * * * * . i'm starting to see all the crazy signs. no wonder you been in and out of all the relationships that you have been in. i might have felt insecure about the relationships at times but your twisted ' need a safety net, a shoulder to cry on' bull * * * * is what makes it all * * * * ed up. can't believe I've been with you for 2 years. telling me that you have been married only for paper work 1.5 years later. conniving ass witch! -
day 16: my body is starting to get use to this pain. i'm starting to see it as a bump that i have to get over. i find myself starting to get back into my grove every once in a while instead of slacking off all the time. i still do the whole sad songs, sad movies, self improvement books, but i'm starting to focus on my business again (60 slacking/40). i found myself re-organzing and cleaning today.
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day 15 i slept all day yesterday. not sure if it was the flu, or a hang over. i barely got my butt out of bed to come to work--although i got here 2 hours late. trucking forward.... a lot of hot flashes last night. but stayed strong