THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Griffey]

Have any of you guys gotten dumped because you were "lazy" and "neglectful" near the end when your ex decided to dump you?

[oceanblue535]

I'm in a weird place now. It's not the pain of the first two weeks. It's like my head and heart are on even playing grounds. Surprisingly, I've had moments where my head was reminding me why I loved him, not my heart. Either way, he's gone. His head & heart told him not me, so I must keep going.

 

Last night one of our mutual friends told me she was going to beat him up when I hadn't even mentioned it. It was strange... I said... ex who? lol

 

I tell myself over and over he's probably with someone else already, so that when then time comes that I have to see them together, I'll be more prepared. It probably won't work though. There will be no pain like seeing him with someone else. And for people to say you shouldn't worry about that... you can't control it. You still care about them, so of course you don't want them with anyone else.

 

As far as my prospects... so many guys have tried to start things.. flirting with me... touching me.. texting me.. etc. No one up to standards yet, whatever those are. I don't even know if the ex fits those standards anymore.

 

I'm kind of just going with whatever happens. Nothing makes you feel like you have no control until someone you loved and trusted walks out on you out of nowhere.

[vertigoxo]

Day 34

 

He still infests my mind, but it's way way less romantic/sexual. If there was ever a minute where I DID thought of him in a romantic/sexual light, I would quickly replace him with some other guy.

 

Starting Monday, I will be absent from this forum for 2 weeks at the latest. I just need a break, is all.

[Griffey]

Cleaning out my apartment because I am moving and I found a box of her sexy lingerie, board games that she got me, and a bunch of cards that she gave to me, for birthdays, valentine's, and just random ones like "good luck on your job interview."

 

God I miss her. What a step back tonight.

[FoundYet]

I think I may break today... it's a sad day and when i'm sad I do stupid things. i already know what i would say. crap. this second time around breakup thing, I'm being more stupid.

[markd321]

How long have you gone so far Foundyet?

[Starrgrl]

Day 31I miss him... I shouldn't , I can't , I shall not.

[michellefourni]

I started this a few days ago but I can't stop contacting him everytime I'm alone. Anyway, I sent him a really long facebook message.. and he replied that he wanted to talk. At 6 am the next day he blew up my phone with 11 calls in a row. He said he wanted to talk.. and as soon as I agreed to the next day, he didn't want to talk anymore. I don't know why everything has to be on his terms.. it's always about what he wants.

 

Anyway, I'm not contacting him.. because I think that's what he wants.

 

And I don't want things to be this way.

[Griffey]

Day 8

 

She' probably bangin' some other dude at this point.

[markd321]

Day 3 - Kept myself occupied during the day to keep my mind off her - but when I stop for a minute she comes flooding back into my mind. I dont like the evenings - they give me time to remember her....which I do. And time to miss her......which I do

[Griffey]

If I go on facebook for whatever reason - to IM a buddy or whatever, and then my ex signs on and neither of us IMs the other, but you can tell we both know we are online - does that set me back as the dumpee? Did I make myself "too available" since she knows where I am ie she knows I'm on facebook and not doing something productive or bettering myself?

[polka_hats]

Yesterday in the a.m. was Day 1 of official no contact. We have been broken up for almost 2 months...there are spurts of a few weeks of no contact and spurts of talking. But I decided to do the 30 day challenge.

 

However, Day 1 (yesterday) did not go as planned. I did totally fine, but he felt the need to call me from a blocked number and yell at me for hanging out with "his" friend (this person is a mutual friend). He then proceeded to tell me he's not dating the new person I was told he was dating and that he's not sure if he wants me back or not (I didn't ask he volunteered this info.).

 

Why is he doing this to me? If he wants me he can come and get me, if he doesn't why won't he just leave me alone? ](*,)

[KateUK]

Well, he broke NC so many times (including a heavy emotional email at 3am Fri morning) and on Friday night we had an hour long chat / argument where he turned everything round on me and left me totally confused. He even said I was driving him back to 'her'. Afterwards I texted to say I was confused and he replied saying he was sorry, he knew it was hard on me.

 

He took my son out on Friday night and I saw him, and he was normal with me. He gave me a birthday card for the 14th september (still unopened on my mantel piece). It was his birthday yesterday and I didn't get him a card (was on my way to get one when I spoke to him and it knocked me off kilter). Saturday I realised the tables had turned and I made excuses to text him 3 times to which he replied very short and formal (like I had done before to his).

 

Today. I haven't been in contact AT ALL. And I don't intend to! I lost some of my power by crying down the phone and he now thinks he has me hanging on and insecure. I am now determined to get my mojo back. After obsessing a bit today checking his phone calls on our joint mobile account (and seeing he phoned and texted 'her' lots and lots after emailing me on Friday), I am determined to not spy again. After all, I went out on a date last night and am texting lots of people too.

 

Time again to RECOVER, RECLAIM and RESTORE!!!! Must stay strong.

[vertigoxo]

Day 35

 

I'm feeling okay as far as I'm concerned...

[aftermath1]

The first two weeks actually flew by, it has been the past week or so that has really dragged out.

 

I plan on breaking my NC in about another week. Hopefully by that time my ex wont be as mad at me.

[SA2000]

Day 1

 

I told her yesterday that I couldn't do this anymore. Seeing eachother is too hard. I asked her to either stop contacting me or work with me to make things right between us. I guess she has made her decision. Closure. It's really over. Now I can do full on NC.

 

I asked that she call me and let me know her decision. I didn't even get a call. I guess no reason for me to post here though. It's NC for good now. This is what you chose. The last decision you make in my life.

[Starrgrl]

DAY 32

 

Goal is to be completely over him by start of Oct.

 

I can do it!

I can and I will.

Someday soon I will get over getting over you.

[Griffey]

The first two weeks actually flew by, it has been the past week or so that has really dragged out.

 

I plan on breaking my NC in about another week. Hopefully by that time my ex wont be as mad at me.

 

What are you gonna say?

[Griffey]

Day 9

 

It's actually getting harder with everyday. I can't stop thinking about all the regrets I have leading up to the breakup; and the fact that she hasn't tried to get in touch with me for 9 days also hurts.

[coldheart]

Day 60, and technically broke it on Friday (See here: ) All of a sudden, what seemed so easy at first had become so hard. Feels like 2 steps forward, 10 steps back

[markd321]

Day 4 - Went out with a female friend today, only to keep each other company as much as anyting, and I thought having someone there would help take my mind of the ex.....but it didnt......at various points, lulls in the day, she began to fill my mind again, images of her smiling, talking, being with me filled my head - This is going to be hard.

[aftermath1]

What are you gonna say?

 

I'm going to start off with a text message just asking about life, I figure I'll try that for a while and then be able to talk to her on the phone. I think I have to regain her trust instead of trying to convince her to be with me.

 

I know she cares about me, I neglected her. The only way to un-do that if it is at all possible is to become friendly with her. Eventually she will know my intentions and then if I'm lucky she will consider.

 

Until that point I have to change the way that I acted, I have to take an honest interest in all parts of her life, I have to make every contact with her as pleasant as possible. I have to love her 100% and not put my selfish needs (ex: I want you back!) first, at least not when we first start talking as I feel it will only push her away.

[KateUK]

Day 2

 

Had lunch with an old friend who I haven't seen in 3 years (who spent a lot of time with us as a couple) and told her the saga. It felt good to verbalise my feelings to someone who knew him well, as well as see her again! I feel I am healing myself now rather than feeling hopeful about a future with him. I was unable to do this while he was texting and emailing. I don't want him to start doing that again now... I even started doing bits around the house that he should have done and felt quite empowered.

 

I am convinced he has passive aggressive tendencies and he will need to work on them before he is any good to anyone. It makes me feel physically sick thinking of him in contact with this other girl but, again, if he can't work this out on his own then he isn't any good to anyone either - and I'd rather he be with her in that case. Let her sort that one out!

[tujna]

day 2

 

I saw him yesterday but we did not talk. I miss him... Why, why does he have to end it before it has even started? Why not give it a chance? Is it so scary to care about someone, to be with someone good and worthy?

[SA2000]

Day 0

 

I just talked to her. She was to call me and let me know if we were going to work it out or never speak again. She called and said she decided that she couldn't do it and that she was ready to move on. We agreed to not contact one another. This will be hard. We've gone a month or two but never lasted. But I need to heal. I need to let her go. For good. Goodbye ex. I'll always remember you. But you have made the decision. It's over.