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oceanblue535

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Everything posted by oceanblue535

  1. oceanblue535
    I'm glad it happened. It's starting to make sense now. I feel like I'm going to be a better partner to this one because of some of the things we went through.
  2. oceanblue535
    Just want you out of my life.
  3. oceanblue535
    Still hate you. Yep, you're not even a human being to me. Nothing goes as low as what you've done to me. Can't wait for you to try to find someone as good as me who would want to be with you. hahaha
  4. oceanblue535
    Day... doesn't even matter. I'm never speaking to you again. I'm seeping with anger. I wish I could cut your throat with a sharp broken bottle. I hate you so much. There's no turning back after this. You've betrayed me as much as the last ex.
  5. oceanblue535
    Trying to start stuff with my friend? This is a new low, even for a dirty * * * * * like you. It's obvious you are trying way too hard. She was even making fun of a lot of your personality and there is NO WAY she would be with you (whether she liked you or not, which she doesn't, she is my * * * * ing friend and wouldn't do that to me). You're little... "I'm so sweet" tactics won't work this time, you just look creepy. She also is on her way back together with her ex. You are a complete idiot. EVERYONE hates you. I will never forgive you now. That was just too far. Rot in hell. Goodbye forever.
  6. oceanblue535
    Dear ex, Are you alive? Do you hate me? Is this what you wanted? Is this what I want? I think God is protecting me from not having seen you a single time since I've been on campus. Seems kind of weird don't you think? Were we really that incompatible? Everyone thinks you were no good for me. I thought there was some really special bond there, even if we had our problems... like every couple does. I guess I wasn't worth it to you to work through problems. I'm definitely more open to dating around, but you still linger in the back of my head. I literally know nothing of you and your life now. I wonder what your new car looks like? I'm glad you're rid of that other piece of crap. I wonder if you've done any comedy routines? I wonder if you're back at work? I wonder if you're with someone else, but I try to not wonder about that. I wonder how your classes/radio show are going? I don't dare to listen to it at night, knowing it would hurt me. I wonder how your family is? I wonder if you've gone to that one breakfast restaurant. For whatever reason you left me, it was a decision I have to respect. That's why I haven't directly contacted you not ONE SINGLE TIME. I have to respect you saw something that I didn't, so I'm trying to listen to you. You showed me I need to move on. I am trying... it's just hard. I'm having a bad day.
  7. oceanblue535
    I'm only lonely on weekend afternoons. After seeing what this new guy did to me, I expected to think... wow... my ex would have never done that, but that wasn't the case. Too bad you're both in the same category. Time hasn't made me miss you more.. exactly. I feel intense curiosity.. but not so much the love from before. I feel like I'm never going to see you again. I wonder if this is how you feel too. Like your crazy reasons for dumping me have just been solidified over this time. Hard to imagine, but our silence speaks truth. The one thing I'm having trouble getting over is the fact I didn't do anything to you. You were the one who was treating me badly, yet I got rejected. It's hard for me to accept you were the one with the problems and there was nothing I could do. For all the pain, I would have liked to know why it happened and could have blamed it on myself so I feel like I had some control, but I can't. You're the reason.. you just never loved me enough.
  8. oceanblue535
    Wow... forty days. Not really sure how I feel. Anytime I think of good things about you, I block it out with all the bad. I wonder who you've been hanging out with to occupy your time. I know you don't like to be alone, so I assume you've found someone to replace me. It just kind of sucks. It's not devastation like it was before... just a very very slight longing. However, this longing is never worth risking my feelings with you again. Looks like I'm starting NC with a guy I starting "dating" as well. He hid something from me right when I met him, so he's out of my life too.
  9. oceanblue535
    I feel like I'm walking on air again. Met someone I have so much more in common with. Starting to get that.. WHAT WAS I THINKING? going through my head.
  10. oceanblue535
    What is your name again?
  11. oceanblue535
    My uncle died last night. The feeling of loss was oh so familiar. We weren't super close, but I feel really sad for my mom. I had every type of nightmare you could imagine, involving the ex or other guys etc. bleh. life is so dark.
  12. oceanblue535
    My heart still wants you. But, I know in my head it's over. Too much damage has been done. I would have gotten the moon for you, that's how much I loved you. Now, I just see disappointment and pain when I think of you. Going to keep moving forward as if you're never coming back.
  13. oceanblue535
    Going out again. You don't care.
  14. oceanblue535
    I met someone completely different from you. Not sure what I think about this. Not sure if I'm over you enough for this... Maybe this guy and I can just be friends for awhile. That's what I need.
  15. oceanblue535
    I told you that each day there was less of a chance of us being back together. Never was that more apparent than tonight.
  16. oceanblue535
    I wonder if you're already looking for someone to replace me/already with them.
  17. oceanblue535
    Just another day. You're becoming a memory.
  18. oceanblue535
    Today is awful. Last night, I told God I would just relinquish control and let whatever was supposed to happen to happen. I also asked for guidance. What happened? A terrible nightmare and a bad feeling all day. Looks like I'm going to drink myself into a stupor tonight with my friends at a football game. Maybe I'll meet someone? ha...
  19. oceanblue535
    Tomorrow is day 30, but I'm updating now. I'm exhausted. Sleep and eating habits still crap. I feel like I'm not making much progress anymore Just stuck. I tell myself he's having the time of his life without me...
  20. oceanblue535
    New and old friends are starting to fill your void, especially now that I don't have ANY way to know about your life. I feel like the worst of the grieving is finally over. I'm strong, and I'll get through this. Today is the first day I genuinely have hope in meeting someone else. Tomorrow I should celebrate 30 days of not directly contacting you. It's not easy to do...
  21. oceanblue535
    Well, at least I love me.
  22. oceanblue535
    Soon, I'll have gone a month.. just thought I'd pat myself on the back for getting through the worst of it... well, that is until I see him with someone else.
  23. oceanblue535
    You're one of the most sneaky, manipulative, untrustworthy people I HAVE EVER MET. I didn't have trust problems until I met you. You continued to hide things so that you wouldn't have to take responsibility for being an idiot. I should be glad I got away from someone like you. Who knows the type of crap you would have pulled on me in the future.
  24. oceanblue535
    I should be asleep right now. I had a good day.. no pain. Now, all I feel is hate.. hate of a thousand suns. Anyone who makes me feel this way about myself is def not the one for me. I feel like * * * * ing ripping your throat out. I don't want to see or talk to you ever again.
  25. oceanblue535
    Go * * * * yourself.
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