THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Starrgrl]

Day 27

 

The first two weeks were so hard. I had these mad urges to talk to him, that were so compulsive and strong I had to go have a jog to stop myself from picking up the phone.

 

Now I feel alot better. I try to avoid thinking about everything, I'm alot more at peace and centered.

 

And yes, after the first week I started to realise how much of a complete arse he was towards me. He was a horrible boyfriend in everyway. Guess I was blinded bc I freakin loved him so much, and we did really connect deeply.

I'm SO GLAD I broke free of this stupid cycle we were in. I'm GLAD I ended it with him. He NEVER deserved my love or care. I only treated him like he was a king. All he did was turn everything on me and make me the bad guy. No more selfishness and manipulation. No more lies, no more hurtful let downs and verbal abuse, he can go talk to that girl if he likes, hell... He can get with 5 if he wants, if that makes him happy lol.

 

OMG I'm free.

 

Even though I still love him and miss him every day...Despite the fact I get depressed every night and still cry, I have gained my self respect back.

He thinks I'm going to run back to him? N call him and act like nothing's wrong? Let it slide for the hundredth time?

 

HA that might just happen in his dreams when hell freezes over.

 

I loved him so much, he took it and threw it back in my face. Now I'm ready to face the world... and who knows, sometime down the track, when I'm ready and I meet a guy who I connect with... Who knows, I just might give them a shot. N they will treat me the way I deserve to be treated. And love me and show it with ACTIONS.

 

Though I DO want to thank him for making me so bloody strong. This whole ordeal had me reeling and doubled up in pain, but I'm going to keep striving for the stars... And someday I'm going to get there. I'm wiser, though now I have major trust issues =(.

 

No regrets! Though he's definitely feeling them right now. Ahaha

[NogaPatumee]

NC: 3 Weeks

 

This is my first post on this forum but I've read about 250 pages of this thread before breaking no contact today. This girl was my best friend for years before we were both single and started dating. I have never been happier than when I was with her and honestly thought I was gonna be with her forever. Anyway she called today and we talked, she told me that she really liked me and what pushed her away was me flipping out and over-reacting when she said she needed space. I didn't respect her request because I thought she was trying to break up with me when all I had to do was say "Ok, I understand call me when you're ready" I never learned this lesson before and really wish it wasn't her that taught it to me cuz not only did I lose my best friend but also the girl that I love.

 

Moral of the story? When they want space give them more space than they can handle. And don't flip out and cry/beg/plead for them to take you back.

[VinnieMarlboro]

100 % agree. The benefit of hindsight is a wonderful thing!

[NogaPatumee]

100 % agree. The benefit of hindsight is a wonderful thing!

 

Now we just need to build ourselves a time machine lol

[FoundYet]

Alas, back to NC after the brakex2. It seems a littler easier this time around, but those crying fits still hit you when you don't expect them.

[VinnieMarlboro]

Day 4 - over and out! Feeling good, have the kids.

 

Hang in there everyone

[Griffey]

Day 4

 

This isn't getting much easier. Wish she would just call already and say that she made a horrible mistake.

[boswelc]

Day 5 - feeling a little down this morning, but I realize the only way to truly heal is to continue shutting her out of my life. I have done this NC thing a few times over the past six months and every time she ends up contacting me after a few weeks. Assuming she contacts me a couple weeks, this time I need to be really strong and not respond to any meaningless BS. If she has something really concrete like wanting to talk about starting up something new, or she really does miss me, then I may consider, but anything less than that I will continue my silence.

[michellefourni]

Day 1.

 

 

 

This is going to be very hard. That last text I sent him was last night. Actually, I texted him all day yesterday.. non stop pretty much. Kind of lost my mind there. I also wrote an extremely long letter where I poured my heart out to him. Luckily, Facebook was skrewed up and messages won't send. I figure I probably look like a psycho.. and no amount of convincing is ever going to bring him back to me.

[bwhite00]

Day 2 permanent NC.

 

Doesn't matter what she's doing, how she feels, who she's with.

 

I don't care and I don't want to hear about it.

 

I can no longer reply to her... Period.

[bwhite00]

Day 5 - feeling a little down this morning, but I realize the only way to truly heal is to continue shutting her out of my life. I have done this NC thing a few times over the past six months and every time she ends up contacting me after a few weeks. Assuming she contacts me a couple weeks, this time I need to be really strong and not respond to any meaningless BS. If she has something really concrete like wanting to talk about starting up something new, or she really does miss me, then I may consider, but anything less than that I will continue my silence.

 

Right there with you. Even after making it clear a friendship is not possible, 3 months later my ex does the same thing. I tried the LC and NiC thing and it made me miserable too. I just simply can't talk to her anymore either because I'll do NC for 10 days and she'll text. I'll reply then rinse and repeat. Have to stop this cycle.

[boswelc]

Right there with you. Even after making it clear a friendship is not possible, 3 months later my ex does the same thing. I tried the LC and NiC thing and it made me miserable too. I just simply can't talk to her anymore either because I'll do NC for 10 days and she'll text. I'll reply then rinse and repeat. Have to stop this cycle.

 

I hear on this one. I made it very clear as well I am not open to friendship and the occasional call to "touch base" as she puts it. Yeah having LC just is not healthy, maybe for a few weeks or so, but it also made me miserable, because every time I thought we were making some strides towards reconciling she would take a step back. So stay strong this time around and do not respond to her crap. If she has something important to say, like let's get together for lunch or I really want things to work between us, then I would say yes, but be very guarded.

[bwhite00]

Boswelc, I agree. My problem is compounded by the fact that two months post-BU we started 'dating' (sex, dates, all of it) for a few weeks and she needed 'space'... Which sucked by the way.

 

As the dumpee I was the one who initiated us getting 'back' to dating. It didn't last. It hurt badly.

 

So, I told her I'd give her 30 days space - no texts or anything - to figure out what she wants. I told her to contact me if she wanted to. I've spoken to her via text maybe three times in three weeks.

 

Terrible. Terrible. Idea.

 

I'll go a week and she'll text me right as I'm starting to feel ok. Now EVERY time she texts... I get a guilty conscience that if I don't reply she'll hate me. But that's ABSURD because she LEFT me, so why even acknowledge her?

 

I mean seriously, I showed her when we dated again (briefly) how nice things could be and obviously she thinks she can do better. Oh well at least I had that chance.

 

And she needed space because I told her I loved her one morning (yeah not smart but so what it just slipped) how lame...

 

1.5 year relationship, first love, etc

[kangel15]

Okay I think this would be officially the end of Day 1 of NC,(break up on 8/21) last contact was text messages (cordial) in the AM of 8/24/2010. Miss him, heard through the grapevine he is back on link removed it hurts.. Is he trying to get me upset? Does he even care? Did he ever care?

 

Not sure if there is going to be a chance, I initiated the break up because I was terrifed and now wish I hadn't acted like a psycho girl. NC stinks, but probably for the best, worst feeling is thinking he doesn't miss me because of how badly I acted when we broke up...

 

Does the hurt end? I think so it seems to get better. Friends tell me to move on, but I know I am not ready and wouldn't be able to give my heart to anyone so don't think it's fair.

[vertigoxo]

Day 31

 

You know what's annoying? Thinking about them when they don't deserve to be in your thoughts. Ugh.

 

I have about 25 days left until I'm would be supposedly "over" him, according to that stupid broken heart calculator crap.

 

I'm thinking of taking a week or two off from ENA again, starting this upcoming Monday, so that I can quit reminding myself of my own break up in a sea of other peoples break ups. It's not healthy and I love to help out, but now I have to think about me.

[oceanblue535]

Not much to update on.. when I'm out and about you're in the back of my mind. When I'm alone, I get emotional and lonely.

 

It feels like this will never end. I didn't do anything.. and you were SO MEAN to me. Looking back, I can't believe how you were treating me right before you dumped me.. you must really dislike me now. bleh.

[Starrgrl]

DAY 28

 

I know in my heart he was one of my soulmates (yeah that...I started believing in it when I met him. There was that recognition, that connection =(). N that's why it's so hard to let him go.

 

I miss him and I love and care about him so much. But he's not right for me.

Hopefully I'll feel better tmrw.

 

 

I'm doing good. Two more days until I hit the big 3 0.

[VinnieMarlboro]

Day 5 - tough tough day

Have the kids and it is really hard not to think about her. Got a song in my head which really sucks - wont say what it is as it really aint helping me so dont want to set any of you off.

 

Good luck, stay strong.

 

The only thing stopping me is the repercussions of talking to her - I may feel good for a short period of time, but not in the long run - eye on the prize ppl!

[Rotxsen]

Wow its' been since jan 29 my bday I started NC and now I feel great I think I'm gonna break NC and try the waters be friends with her again and maybe make her an option what you guys think?

[TSandullo]

Hey rotxsen bro. Glad 2 hear you are well. Well, if you are up for it, go for it. Whatever the outcome, friends, gbt or nothing, you're still the man! Tc. TS

[Griffey]

Day 5

 

I can't believe she hasn't tried to contact me at all for five days. I'm pretty down today, though I guess I'm feeling a little bit better.

[michellefourni]

Day 2

 

 

 

I was feeling better about everything last night. "If he doesn't want to be with me for such a stupid reason, forget him. I'll get over it someday." This mornging I just started crying as soon as I woke up. I don't know what to do because I really want to call him. I can't believe he's doing this to me.

[brandnewday47]

Well, it is ten weeks of NC today... lately I have been trying to not pay attention to how long it has been, but maybe that's exactly why I know how long it has been...

[kangel15]

Start of Day 2 1/2 lol.. yeah counting minutes pretty much. It sort of stinks I miss him a lot, think about him all the time. Bitter that he is moving on so quickly and it hurts.. makes me feel insignificant.

[boswelc]

Day 6 -

 

Doing well, my sister had a baby girl this morning. Her and my ex were always pretty close and my ex always asked when she was due. I was thinking about sending her a quick text later today to let her know. Not sure I should even do this? Thoughts?