THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Griffey]

Sorry to hear bro - you'll do great in NC and be back on your feet in no time!

[iBroken]

Day who knows.....not counting.

 

Feeling fine. She still crosses my mind ALOT but, I dont have a desire to talk to her just yet. If ever.

 

Today I thought I might be in denial. Will I really live the rest of my life without ever seeing or speaking to the one I planned on spending the rest of my life with?

 

Was a scary thought. But if thats what it is to be, then thats what it is.

[oceanblue535]

Soon, I'll have gone a month.. just thought I'd pat myself on the back for getting through the worst of it... well, that is until I see him with someone else.

[FoundYet]

Yup, I broke it.

 

I had to. This emotional hate over him, I couldn't take, so I texted. I did something nice. That's just how I cope with negative things. He was happy to hear from me, then asked me to go somewhere with him right after. I told him, no. I couldn't see him, not with trying to work on my negativity toward him. We just texted a little over what I sent and that was that.

 

That was probably a stupid thing to do for a small fix, but that anger was hurting me more then I knew. It calmed my hate for him a bit. And at this point, I don't actually want to talk to him. I did this just for me. Was it selfish? Most likely. But it helped and it's what I needed at the moment and I wasn't scared to do it, which was weird. Or is this a false feeling.. hmm.

 

So, starting over at day 1.

 

How long have you gone so far Foundyet?

 

It was a month. The previous time was three months, so I know I can do NC, but this time was hate, while the first time was total sadness. The hate, for me hurts worse.

[VinnieMarlboro]

Day 10 - Killing me today.

 

Just wanna talk to her, but know I cant.

 

Just a further thing - I downloaded a 'get back with your ex' ebook a cpl of weeks ago.

 

The good thing about the book is, it suggests I do exactly what we are doing here.

 

But, part of the plan was to send a letter - accept what has happened, apologize for something small and end it with some good news for me. It was to arouse her couriosty in me - it worked.

 

I left it at her house on monday(day 2) and she rings on day 6, asking bout the good news. I sorta blew the plan as I told her what I was doing to fix myself up(didnt mention NC tho). The call should of been short and to the point and leaving her wanting more. Ah well- got another 3 weeks before I can even think about re contacting her.

 

Anyone else got one of these books? Has it worked?

If your interested in one - the only difference to here is they give you a strategy and some tricks to use.

[VinnieMarlboro]

F**k it - smashed it to bits

 

She rings me, due to kids and it ends up on us.

 

She went to lawyers today and signed divorce papers. Guess thats it then.

[Starrgrl]

Day 33

 

Hurting. But I'll be alright.

Kinda miss his voice, and his hugs... and our conversations

Have completely lost the urge to call him after the first two weeks but I'm still finding it hard to sleep.

 

Goal- Gotta stop crying everyday -_-

[Griffey]

Day 10

 

Feeling a lot more in control than before - I still see her online and wonder why she won't IM me when we are the only two on at 7 AM --- oh well hopefully soon.

[SA2000]

We talked breifly this morning via text. Basically she told me I am an * * * * * * * and I told her that I am the only one trying and that I give up. Thats it. Ill check back in a month on day 30.

[Griffey]

Just a question - how many of you went strict NC right away and how many of you begged and stated your case?

 

I begged and stated my case for about a month:

 

you?

[markd321]

I tried not to do the begging, pleading thing - but ultimately failed!

This was for for 2 or 3 days before going N/C.

So i was glad I said some of the things I did, but also glad I didnt drag it out until she started resenting me.

[kantketchme]

Excluding the day she moved out, we went complete NC other then when she asked to drop some things off that were mine. About 30 days later we have been talking and hanging out, she says she wants try to work things out with a counselor- read my other thread for details.

[Starrgrl]

DAY 34

 

Goal is now 60 then 90.

 

 

Go me!!

[oceanblue535]

Well, at least I love me.

[markd321]

Day 5

 

This one has been the worst. She filled my mind as soon as I woke up and she hasn't left it all day. I feel so down, really want to drop her a line and put my arms around her.

I miss her so, so much, I dont know if I can keep this going already.

[Griffey]

It's so weird that every source is different on when to initiate contact.

 

I am of the opinion that if you want your ex back, you should go NC for a certain period of time, then IM or email them slowly, until you get back into some sort of contact with them. Then if you play it right, dinner, movies, etc, then you're back.

 

Some sites say wait 2 weeks, the ebooks say 30 days, enotalone says never contact them until they contact you...

 

It's just so frustrating that there really isn't a standard that is followed after NC. I would think logically that within a few months is the best opportunity bc your ex hasn't moved on yet in many cases, it's enough time to get over the initial anger, etc.

[Angelaa]

I am treating this a lot like a diary so SORRY IF I RAMBLE ON

 

OK no contact starting tomorrow! This will be VERY hard for me I live in a pretty small town and will inevitably hear about the people/things he is doing. Especially with pretty much the same groups of friends. I don't go digging but it does come up. I loved him so much and he is a guy with two sides. He admits it is easier being who he is now (a lier, a cheater) than who he once really was... he needs to truly grow up which at this point im doubting may ever happen. ANYWAYS the point is he is NOT who I fell in love with and made him out to be so I need to stop contacting him. I have been going crazy with the texts and calls and going to his place lately ( I KNOW ITS EMBARRASSING ). And it has only hurt me more. So tomorrow is a new day. Last time we talked was a few days ago. It felt horrible I still love what we once had and he is pretty well on his way to being over it.. SO I know it is definitely for the better that I start NC. I am soooo scared and more upset in the last 3 days than I have EVER been about the breakup which basically was dragged out until a little while ago. I believe that because he was cheating he obviously wasn't as attached as I was so this has and will always be harder for me. I do not regret anything and I am looking forward to the stronger/happier and all around better person I will become through this loss. I have had my focus on him for 8 years now. Time to look ahead. Tomorrow is a brand new day.

[aftermath1]

I can't believe it has been this long since we talked, knowing we communicated almost every day for over 2 years. It is something I have a hard time and can not accept.

 

I feel like crap, I miss her, I find doing everything as a chore EVERYTHING.

 

I can not stop blaming myself.

[FoundYet]

Been a few days.

 

Doing better. Have laughed today.

[Griffey]

Day 11 - meh, still wake up feeling like crap.

[oceanblue535]

New and old friends are starting to fill your void, especially now that I don't have ANY way to know about your life. I feel like the worst of the grieving is finally over.

 

I'm strong, and I'll get through this. Today is the first day I genuinely have hope in meeting someone else. Tomorrow I should celebrate 30 days of not directly contacting you. It's not easy to do...

[SA2000]

Day 2. Ups and downs. Im good though. I should probably stop posting here until I get past a week. We agreed to never speak again 2 days ago though.

[markd321]

Day 6

 

All day I think of you - again. By the time the evening's come round Im just worn out, mentally exhausted, I just want to lie down and sleep, as much as I want to think of you I just cant. But I know an early night just means time to lie and think again

[pinktroll]

This is Day 1 for me. I'm new here, but I've lurked for a while and liked the advice people give here better than some other advice I've read. So I've already failed, technically, since I looked at his FB today. But we broke up just yesterday, so I'm going to forgive myself. I've successfully done NC before - I'm stubborn - so I'm looking forward to this challenge. I wasn't certain what I would do if he does call, as he said he would "sometime," but this gives me a hard and fast rule to follow!

 

Posting my story after this... will edit to include thread later.

[oceanblue535]

Tomorrow is day 30, but I'm updating now. I'm exhausted. Sleep and eating habits still crap. I feel like I'm not making much progress anymore Just stuck. I tell myself he's having the time of his life without me...