THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[KatyAtl]

We've all slipped up. Take it as a lesson... 99% of the time you're not gonna hear what you want from them. Every time I have broken NC, it always ended in more heartache. Don't do that to yourself!

 

Yep...Ironically it seems to always take me further and further away from him anyway

[KatyAtl]

I'm considering doing NC again...Only lasted about a week last time I tried. Seems like he's finally back in the mood where he's willing to talk though. What do you guys think? If it seems like he's showing a little bit of effort now, would going NC take us further away from each other or maybe bring us closer together?

[pyropinup]

I'm considering doing NC again...Only lasted about a week last time I tried. Seems like he's finally back in the mood where he's willing to talk though. What do you guys think? If it seems like he's showing a little bit of effort now, would going NC take us further away from each other or maybe bring us closer together?

 

Did he break NC or did you? What sort of effort is he showing that makes you think he's wanting to work it out with you?

 

I will be finding this out tomorrow.. I am going to break NC for a neutral reintroduction.

[KatyAtl]

Did he break NC or did you? What sort of effort is he showing that makes you think he's wanting to work it out with you?

 

I will be finding this out tomorrow.. I am going to break NC for a neutral reintroduction.

 

First of all, good luck to you! And I broke NC...I had a bad night and kind of freaked out and called him. As far as effort, he's just going from ignoring every attempt of mine to contact him, and not trying to contact me if I don't try to contact him, to talking with me casual. He asks me if I'm alright, and we've been joking around every few days or so. The conversations are brief and surface level usually, but it seems like we're enjoying each other again.

 

I would love to get back together...I don't want to force something that won't ever work, but that's sort of the goal here for me. He's expressed a need for space in the past to work on his own issues, so I think NC might help with that. But at the same time, will he think I'm being callous not talking with him?

[KatyAtl]

Ok, it's only Day 1 and I already feel like I want to ask him if this break up is what he really wants, that I don't see why we can't work on things, etc. I'm the one who said "no contact" but ever since I told him that yesterday, I'm wanting to contact him. ](*,) For the last two weeks I have missed him and wanted to be with him, but haven't felt desperate call him up and say such things! Ah! Hope I can be strong.

 

The first 3 days are the hardest...it's like relationship detox. If you can make it through these 3 days I promise it gets mostly easier (although there will definitely be some low periods) and nothing that you can't overcome

[tujna]

I saw him by accident last night. He was happy to see me and we talked for first time in about a week. We pretended as if there was nothing between us but he was nice. We laughed so much, adrenalin was so high. I miss him, I love to see him like that, out of the blue. Then we left, finished the night in an interesting way because we did not go with them.

[deecbee]

Day 3- Trying to stay busy. Have no desire to go hang out with friends or do anything, it's the weirdest thing. I keep talking to my friends about him, asking everyone what they *think* he meant by his reaction to me last weekend. I'm sure everyone is getting sick of it. We haven't had a real conversation since February, but this feels so NEW!

[Starrgrl]

Day 37.

 

I AM DOING GREAT. I believe that I WILL get over him soon.

 

IhopeIhopeIhope =(. Can't take the pain anymore.

 

 

Gotta stop browsing this site on my phone...

 

 

GOAL IS NC forever.

[pyropinup]

If he's wanting that space, then it might be wise to give it to him... you've been talking now again, so he knows you know he exists... I'd let him work it through and be supportive of him, from a distance... some people need to work things out on their own and as much as others feel they are helping them by supporting them, it can in the long run frustrate them and resent that caring behavior...

[MrSpeed]

Day 2, really hard, missing her like mad, we split 3 weeks ago but we keep getting in touch. Now I've decided to go NC, the longest I went so far is 6 days but know this time I need some serious self control to get through this, so sad and lonely.

[Gennifer]

Day not really sure? (21?)

I've hit a rocky patch. I need a little extra strength, this is wearing me down.

I don't want my action of NC to be seen as calous or out of hate. Then again, why do I really care?

[love81]

Hi , its been about a month for me. I didnt think or obsess of him nearly as much until i heard four days ago that he left me for another girl. so hes in a relationship now! its a sickening, painful feeling to know hes with her right now, definitely having sex with her often. its so sick i cant even fathom how he could love me one minute and then be so physically and mentallly and close to another girl another and not feel like its wrong. so bc i just heard of this girl, ive been a mess the past few days. i did notice im not crying at the moment as i was a few days ago. i dont know, but yes, this is a long roller coaster ride. my relationship was five years. it isnt going to go away for awhile.

[KatyAtl]

If he's wanting that space, then it might be wise to give it to him... you've been talking now again, so he knows you know he exists... I'd let him work it through and be supportive of him, from a distance... some people need to work things out on their own and as much as others feel they are helping them by supporting them, it can in the long run frustrate them and resent that caring behavior...

 

So how do I support him from a distance and maintain NC? or are you suggesting i just limit my contact with him further?

[mizzH]

DAY 1 FOR ME ... This is going to be so hard

[deecbee]

Day 4

 

I hope you are dazzling your girlfriend with your sophisticated and HILARIOUS fart jokes.

 

I hope you get so drunk this weekend (like you did with me) that you turn into a raging, split-personality psycho so that she knows exactly the type of person she is dating. And then I hope that you realize that there will be few people in the world who are willing to tolerate you after you expose yourself for who you REALLY are.

[pyropinup]

So how do I support him from a distance and maintain NC? or are you suggesting i just limit my contact with him further?

 

I would try LC..check in with him every now and then (like maybe every couple of weeks or month), be nonchalant, and ask how's he's doing, say you hope he's OK. Don't make it seem like it's a big deal that you are calling him. Then, allow him the space and time to determine when to call you back. And don't obsess if he doesn't call you back right away! If, he doesn't call you back within a reasonable amount of time (you determine that), then work even harder to keep yourself busy and to not get down on yourself if you don't hear from him... if you don't hear a reply from a platonic friend, do you get all bent out of shape?

 

good luck.. I broke NC with the guy I was dating and left a message for him yesterday.. haven't heard from him yet but any way this goes, I am ok with it... even if he doesn't call me ever again.

[Nappyloxs]

Day 25

 

Randomly hooked up with a chick last night. I guess I am ready to date again. I wasn't thinking about ex. at all. However, I still rather be with ex. Ugh!

 

For some reason, I have this b.s. feeling that we are meant to be and that we are on an extended break. But its false hope and a lie to myself.

 

I did kind of check her FB the other day. Although it is private I went through her friends list to see if there were any new guys. There were like one or two, but I don't think that it was anything.

 

5 more days and I reach 30!!! Next goal will be 90, I am going to skip 60 and go straight for 90.

[oceanblue535]

My uncle died last night. The feeling of loss was oh so familiar. We weren't super close, but I feel really sad for my mom. I had every type of nightmare you could imagine, involving the ex or other guys etc. bleh. life is so dark.

[polka_hats]

Gonna stop counting the days, it doesn't really matter anyways.

 

I so wish he would contact me though, is that a bad thing to wish for?

 

I've been so tempted so many times to contact him but I won't, I know not to. I know that no matter whether he responds or not the outcome would only be bad for me emotionally. Oh break ups...why must you be so darn hard.

[polka_hats]

Gonna stop counting the days, it doesn't really matter anyways.

 

I so wish he would contact me though, is that a bad thing to wish for?

 

I've been so tempted so many times to contact him but I won't, I know not to. I know that no matter whether he responds or not the outcome would only be bad for me emotionally. Oh break ups...why must you be so darn hard.

[pinktroll]

Working on day 6 right now... today was a little more difficult than the last few. I'm still having trouble not looking at his FB, but I'm limiting myself to 5 seconds, soon to be not clicking it at all. I'm doing fantastically with not calling, emailing, texting, etc. I put everything that I got from him into a large shoe box. It turns out that it wasn't that much, although there was a lot from the last few months. I cried as I did this, and I haven't cried since day 1, the day after the breakup. I'm sleeping through the night and eating appropriately. About to hit the gym tomorrow and get my hair cut in a few weeks (I've been planning the haircut since before the breakup... no worries there on drastic changes!).

[MrSpeed]

Day 3.

 

Hard. Had counselling today, which opened up old wounds. Miss her so much. Very drunk at the moment but staying NC. Love her.

[Starrgrl]

Day 39

 

 

Yesss. One more day till it's 40 then it's 60 here I come.

[Nappyloxs]

DAy 26

 

Yeah I miss her. I know she was a Narcissist. I am tired of reading of about Narcs, because I know she matches it exactly.

 

The image of my ex. is just a mirage. It is not real. I know that our relationship was not a real relationship. Just a sham.

 

I feel like I suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. I still miss this image of her. Although the reality of the relationship was nothing but abuse. I know in my heart of hearts and mind that I do not want to deal with that again. I just want a happy loving relationship.

 

My ex. told me once that she was better than all other women. Yes she was beautiful. Yes, she had a nice steady job making decent money. But why did she think she was better than all other women? She cleaned because she had OCD. She cooked occasionally because she enjoyed too. But there is more to a relationship than those two things. She did not hold conversations, especially intelligent conversations. She did not want to do anything I suggested. She was not supportive in any sense, emotional, financial, etc...

She did not appreciate anything she had with me, neither the materials, the friendship or the relationship.

 

I love her, but I know it is just an image, not real.

[Rotxsen]

Day lost count

 

I'm not afraid to keep on going to the point right now it's like what's the point of saying hi ? at the end I will end up on her web of problems I'm not a therapist anymore.