THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[bwhite00]

Day 3 NC

 

I feel good. We've been split up 3 months and I've managed to grow in a positive way. She's taken many steps backwards in her life.

 

Even if she were to flat out insist we see each other ( which she won't ) - there's a high % chance I would say 'too little, too late'.

 

Do not want to talk to her. Do not want to see her.

[bitebenot]

Wow its' been since jan 29 my bday I started NC and now I feel great I think I'm gonna break NC and try the waters be friends with her again and maybe make her an option what you guys think?

 

I would think twice if i were you ! You know its only my opinion but.....

What would be the point of opening an old wound ? You might think all will be fine but im not so sure about that. Emotions are hard to control sometimes

 

Why not put your energy elsewhere and forget her totally ? Its like stretching an elastic to its limit. Its been many months...you feel better.. so why the need to contact her ? What if it sets you back a few months ? Me i believe an ex stays an ex and friendship isnt a possibility ! You suffered enough no ? Whatever you decide, tread carefully. For me its been almost 10 months now

and i feel great. Time does heal all lacerations of the heart.

 

By the way, im glad ur doing ok...long time no see. Good work !

Hi TS Dude, I hope ur well also !!!

[FoundYet]

Today is angry day. Because all day yesterday I wanted to talk him and thinking maybe. So today I'm being hard on myself for having wanted that. It's a fight with myself. I feel bad, hurt, sad. But I didn't call him. Stay NC NC NC.

[oceanblue535]

I dream of my ex and my ex ex last night. Sometimes it feels I'm mourning them both.

 

Either way... I'm CHOOSING to free myself from this * * * * . Begin the purge. No more my ex. He's cut from my life.

[TSandullo]

I would think twice if i were you ! You know its only my opinion but.....

What would be the point of opening an old wound ? You might think all will be fine but im not so sure about that. Emotions are hard to control sometimes

 

Why not put your energy elsewhere and forget her totally ? Its like stretching an elastic to its limit. Its been many months...you feel better.. so why the need to contact her ? What if it sets you back a few months ? Me i believe an ex stays an ex and friendship isnt a possibility ! You suffered enough no ? Whatever you decide, tread carefully. For me its been almost 10 months now

and i feel great. Time does heal all lacerations of the heart.

 

By the way, im glad ur doing ok...long time no see. Good work !

Hi TS Dude, I hope ur well also !!!

 

Yeah Bite ma'bruv!

Hope all is good in the world of banking!

Time does heal all lacerations of the heart

Amen to that! And time well spent too!

TC

TS

[tingkong]

Day one got a call from the ex confirming that we wouldn't ever get back together and we couldn't ever be friends again. I need to move on big time and today is the first day of the rest of my life. I wish her well and hope to be a great man someday.

[Starrgrl]

DAY 29

 

ALL I DO IS SMILEEE

I think I'm going to have that Lily Allen song on repeat haha.

Oh T. What a fool you have been. Back n forth we went, over and over again... In that circle we were in, you must have been feeling so complacent bc I always ran back to you everytime you hurt me but no more.

I'm done. No more chances, no more sorrys, no more tears, no more feeling sick to my gut. I'm done.

And boyyy... Do I feel good.

 

My tears have washed my eyes clear.

[NogaPatumee]

 

And she needed space because I told her I loved her one morning (yeah not smart but so what it just slipped) how lame...

 

 

I did the same thing man, and you should not feel ashamed. You told her the truth (if you did/do indeed love her) and if she pushed you away then screw her. I was upset at first too, but as I thought about it (NC helped with this), you can't treat some one as a priority if they only treat you as an option. If she calls you saying "I messed up, I thought about it and you're the only one for me, please take me back." then think about it. If not, move on.

 

I still love the object of my NC, prob always will, but you can't make someone love you, just let her go with love and get on with your life.

[kangel15]

Day 3!

 

Nights are hard, it's good to be at work I think of him less. Going out with friends tonight, trying to remember that this is just the end of "us" not the end for me, but a new beginning. It's hard, I miss him a lot. I KNOW this weekend is going to be tough, remember the good, learn from the bad and move on. Accept responsibility for my role, but don't take blame for his parts, a relationship takes two.

[Griffey]

Day 6

 

We're now at the longest we've ever gone without speaking to each other. Feeling better today though. We'll see how it goes.

[bwhite00]

Day 4 NC.

 

Even if she contacts me ( and she will - it may be a month from now but she will), it will only be to see if I'm still longing for her.

 

The beautiful thing about NC is that as each day passes, as a dumpee, whatever modicum of trust I have with her gets smaller and smaller.

 

Pretty soon there will be no trust left and why be with someone you can't trust as far as you can throw them?

 

Hang in there brothers because even in the darkest times post-BU, NC will give you a glimpse of light. A new kind of hope: not for reconciliation but for yourself, being okay with the status quo.

[Griffey]

I have a serious problem of going on aim or gmail as invisible to see if she is on. I literally cannot stop myself from seeing if she is online...

[let_it_be]

I haven't been on ENA in several days because, well frankly, I've been too embarrassed to. After going about a week of NC, I think my ex kind of freaked out he wasn't hearing from me. Since then, he has called me every single day to just talk. And I have answered every call. I know, I know, I'm getting NOTHING out of this. I don't know what I'm even doing. Every talk we've had has been good, we've joked and laughed and he asked me to come visit him at school. That just makes it 100x harder to stop talking to him.

This sucks.

[vertigoxo]

Day 33

 

Things have become more smoothly now. The thoughts of him are getting less and less, and becoming less romantic/sexual. My anger is also subsiding. I am really on my way to a better place emotionally now, and it's great. NC is key, people! Keep it up!

[Starrgrl]

DAY 30!!

 

Wow. This is a complete 180 from me the first week.

 

When I would have scary suicidal thoughts as I crossed the street staring at the cars driving past. The only thing that stopped me from actually going through with that was the thought that it would be highly foolish and selfish, and that he wasn't worth it.

 

I'm so much stronger.

NC works.

I'm so glad, if I continued talking to him I would be a mess right now.

 

If I talked to him now I know I would still start tearing up and probably cry.

But I'm not gonna ever talk to him again so =D.

[kangel15]

so Today is the start of day 4 of NC, yesterday was hard, went out with friends had a great time to come home and find he deleted me from his fb.. I am done.. really done with him to be honest. It hurts but this is the way it needs to be... closing a door, even if he contacts me, I am done. i don't want anyone who can treat me this way, you don't treat someone you care about this way

[Griffey]

Day 7 ---- can't believe it's been a whole week.

 

Noticed that she has been online the last few nights, not going out. She knows I'm in my apt packing for my move out. I can't believe she didn't want to call me or text me - how is she not lonely yet?

[kantketchme]

My NC story, Day approx 35

A little over a month ago we broke up. We had communication problems on both parts. The only contact I had with her was at about week 2 when she texted me asking where to put my class ring, I told her to put it in my mailbox.

 

Flash forward to yesterday-She emailed me asking if she could get a few of her things out of my shed, I agreed. When see came over I stepped outside to let her know there were a few more things in our spare bedroom. I brought them down and we started talking. There was obvious distress on both our parts. She asked if she could come in to see our dog, I again agreed. One thing led to another and we ended up being physically romantic- No clear initiation on either part. After we continued to talk and she said she would like to take things slow and try again but that things would have to be different and she wasnt even sure if it would work. I asked her if she would like me to call her and she told me to call her after work today.

[Griffey]

^^ That's promising! So maybe the time apart made her miss you?

[kantketchme]

^^ That's promising! So maybe the time apart made her miss you?

 

I hope so. She even said that she didn't feel any better after leaving. We both agreed that we need therapy. There are underlying issues that need to be addressed.

[Griffey]

How long were you together?

[kantketchme]

would have been 4 years in December. I will be 24 in Nov and she turned 21 in May.

[markd321]

Day 2

 

After speaking with her we both agreed NC is the only way if we are both to clear our heads and review things without emotions clouding.

 

But my god I miss her............

[Griffey]

What pisses me off is that like a month ago we went on a 'break.' So during this time I was clingy and I stated my case over and over for 2 weeks and each time she was like "I don't know I need time, I don't know if I want to get back together."

 

Finally 2 weeks later we broke up.

 

Then during the next 2 weeks I never contacted her, but when she contacted me about moving out or money or whatever I always ended up getting needy. She even told me you are being needy, maybe staying in touch like we do is the problem.

 

I said maybe we both need time and space then. She said definitely.

 

Haven't heard from her in a week but I know she still loves me. I just hope that my 2 weeks during the break and then my 2 weeks after the breakup didn't F up my chances. I definitely pushed her away.

 

If I could go back in time I would have played it WAY different. But at the same time maybe it's good that I stated my case and was over-emotional for all that time so that she knows I care. Maybe in time that will be a plus?

[markd321]

After splitting from my ex we exchanged a few emails and had a couple of phone calls, in all of which I just opened up and was as she described "heart stoppingly honest and open" She said that my doing this was a good thing, whether she meant for her or for any future relationship I have I dont know.