THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[oceanblue535]

Didn't think we'd go this long without talking. I've been feeling better... the depression is gone for now. I think it's because change is in store. I'm going back to my friends and a busy life. I wish you were still going to be in it. the best parts of the week was coming home to you at night.

 

For some reason, I wanted to check your facebook today. I don't know why.. I knew it would end in disaster. It wasn't as bad as the last time I looked. That girl who I warned you to stay away from still comments on your wall. That isn't any of my business now though. I'm sorry I looked. I guess I just wanted to see if you had started to erase evidence of us... like our pictures and my comments, but you haven't. I find this strange. It's the same strangeness as you looking at my site. Why would you want a reminder of me?

 

False hope? Idk. I think the hope is pretty much dead at this point. My head is starting to cut off any good memories of us. I don't want to move on, but I also deserve to be happy. I deserve someone who would NVR walk away from me because they love me so much... someone who would work out any problem with me and not run away. I deserve that love. Someday, I'm gonna find it. Too bad it wasn't you. I wanted it to be you.

[Nappyloxs]

Oceanblue535

 

If you started the NC challenge, you should start the FB challenge. Some will say you haven't really done NC because you checked his FB.

 

I know exactly how you feel. I have checked my ex's FB too. I miss her and feel as I deserve better. I actually just had a conversation with my best friend about all the crap I went through with my ex.

 

We both deserve better!

 

Although my ex. (as I am sure was yours) great in so many ways. In truth, they were not right for us.

 

In order to find happiness, it begins and ends with us. Only you and I can dictate what our happiness is. If we continue to allow ourselves to check their facebook or think of those good memories, we will never truly be happy again until we are able to see that happiness is within us and not our ex. or the relationship.

 

Good luck.

[oceanblue535]

I know I shouldn't look. It didn't help to see this really angry, vague status he put up. Maybe I should join the challenge.. I'm feeling kind of weird tonight.. in a sentimental mood.

 

 

 

Dear ex,

 

I just want you to be happy. I want you to find love and live a fulfilling, wonderful life, even if that means not being with me. I realize you might have really screwed me over and lied to me (this hasn't been confirmed), but that doesn't change the special love/connection we had for awhile. There will always be part of you in my heart.

 

I am worried about you. I hope you're okay.

 

I miss you. Good night.

[SA2000]

Day 1. Over the weekend I thought there was a possibility that things could work out. But that hope quickly faded. Starting over. I realize after 2 weeks of NIC that she is only interested in playing games. Thanks but no thanks. I need to get to the point where I wouldn't want her back even if she came back.

[bwhite00]

Day 3 NC.

 

She broke up with me. Then we dated again and she needed 'space'.

 

I will make no more efforts to try and 'win' her back. She broke NC last time and unless she does it repeatedly, I will undoubtedly vanish from her life completely.

 

And not just temporarily only to re-appear a month or two to see if she misses me; but permanently. I know my worth. She made me question myself. I never did that to her.

I am proud of who I am today and much stronger because of my experiences in this rs. Surely the next one will be much stronger because of my experiences and because of ENA. Thank you all.

 

And SA hang in there bud, you will reach that point. It is where I am at. Prior to just recently if she would have shown interest I'd have jumped the gun but now I am not anxious to do that. A big improvement.

[lucalicious]

Day 27,

 

Yesterday i unconcsciously thought of the bad in the relationship and ur strange beliefs that conflicted with mine such as reading cards, and reading palms and all the different exotic things. Then you would turn around and say you believed in something else.

 

This day will just be another day, here we go

[let_it_be]

Day 3 (well today is really just beginning)

 

Yesterday was a struggle, and I can already feel today being one too.

 

My ex is leaving for school today (any minute now actually) and I really want to text him bye or good luck or, in yesterday's case, ask for a chance to see him just one more time. Luckily, yesterday, I realised that would do me absolutely no good except for make me look like a desperate fool considering we already said our goodbyes a few days ago..

 

Now that he is leaving for school and I'll be leaving for mine soon, and we'll be hundreds of miles away from each other, it really makes me feel like this is the END. We'll both have our separate lives and I don't even know if I'll see him again.. I don't know how I feel about that yet. A bit sad and scared, I suppose.

[brandnewday47]

Day 2 NC.

 

I was 4 days in and she texts me 'why can't I stop thinking about you?'

 

to which I replied 'cuz I'm awesome'. Maybe not the best response but the truth is all of us are awesome and we don't need validation from anyone to feel that way about ourselves.

 

 

Wow... I saw that and laughed out loud. I don't know if I've heard of a better response in these situations.

[Nappyloxs]

I am guilty of checking her FB today. I don't know why. I guess I want to test myself.

 

Good thing is she has now blocked her profile from being public. So I can't see anything but her pic.

 

I know she did it because of my email to her last week.

 

It hurts in some ways knowing that she basically hates me. She pulled this crap last time. I know it is understandable since we are broken up. It hurts to know that she does not want me in any part of her life.

 

When I say it hurts, it more like stings. I am not crying over it, but it just kind of hurts knowing I gave this girl everything for 3 years.

 

It sure wasn't perfect and I can be hard to put up with. But she just kept demanding and demanding things of me that I wasn't able to give for various reasons.

 

Truth is I never demanded anything of her and attempted to satisfy so many of her demands. For her to basically hate me and think that there is someone who will satisfy all her crazy demands, just stings.

 

Despite the hurting, I actually see some good in it. Why would I want to be with someone who clearly doesn't want to be with me? It actually helps me in moving forward.

 

After 3 years together and everything I did for her, for her to just shut me out and not want any part of me shows that she wasn't the right one and that she really didn't truly love me. In some was that is comforting to know that I did not make the mistake of spending the next 3 years with her.

[SA2000]

Missed her more than normal today. Hmm. Strange.

[Scotty123]

Day 28

 

Four weeks ago today since I last saw my ex. I miss her heaps today. But am more relaxed in general but nearly so relaxed that I thought about texting her about something that happened today ! Then I remembered that we have broken up ..... weird !!

[SA2000]

Ugh. She just texted me over reacting about something I posted on twitter. She says we shouldn't talk anymore and that she will mail me the stuff she has of mine. I explained to her what I meant but she only responded with "Goodbye". If you think I am trying to hurt you, I'm sure I could do a whole lot worse. Your jealousy only shows me that you still care. But I've explained myself. I can do no more. If you aren't going to talk to me because you didn't understand what I said yet again then goodbye is right.

[SA2000]

So now is when this challenge really begins. We have now both agreed not to speak to each other. Day 1 of the rest of my life without you. I know this will be the hardest next few months of my life but I have to get through it.

[vertigoxo]

Day 25

 

So I took like, 10 days off from ENA, just to get some perspective without having run into sad stories of other peoples break ups since it makes me depressed too. (Apparently, break ups and the sadness of it all is extremely contagious.)

 

I'm doing a whole lot better. 5 more days till I'll reach 30 solid days of NC. Woot woot!

[oceanblue535]

I just miss you. We should be cuddling in our beds or walking on campus together. I still have no clue why you left.

[Nappyloxs]

Day 8

 

I slowly started slipping into my old habits again. Last week was stressful with the breakup and work, so I started smoking again. I haven't worked out for the last two days although I plan to tonight. I also had a few drinks during the week, something I have stopped.

 

I really stopped focusing on making myself a better person. I need to regroup. Part of it has been work and the other part really has been my upcoming vacation to Vegas next week.

 

When I think about the ex. which is still several times a day, I remember all the crap we went through. I know it is okay to love her, but I don't every want to go through that again.

 

Last night, I talked with someone new for a few hours. We plan on having a date this weekend. She seemed cool. Totally opposite of my ex. which is nice. Now I just have to remember how to date and not let the ex. ruin it.

[kaydee]

Day 9

 

Even though its been 3 months since he left me, I've only just started no contact after weeks of him wanting to be friends.

I feel like I'm not making any progress at all. Its been 3 months and I'm still hurting as much as I did at the start

[Scotty123]

Day 30 !!

 

What can I say ..... having a bad day ! But I guess I should be glad I have made it to 30 days

 

I'm alot more relaxed and sometimes I forget that we have split up as it kind of slips my mind. I think about things I mean to tell her, just stuff that happened during they day, stuff we would have talked about. Then I remember we're not together any more and get sad all over again. I know she will never contact me as it is her way of respecting my wishes, but I still look at my phone wishing I would hear from her. Today I just don't know when this will end. I just don't know when I will stop thinking about her, when I will stop missing her and when will I ever stop wanting her in my life. I know I will but not today. Today I ache to speak to her, to see her, to hold her. But it won't happen and I just need to get to the point of accepting that.

 

This break up stuff is one a hell of a roller coster, but what go down must go up again at some point lol

[bwhite00]

Day 6 NC.

 

The last time I broke contact it was because she texted me. I feel so much better now but honestly it is hard to accept things sometimes.

 

If she reaches out to me I dont think i'd be terribly receptive to the idea at this point.

[bwhite00]

SA, bro our exes are identical. And while they've got free reign to step all over our emotions: anything we say or do is misconstrued and typically met with sarcasm of some sort.

 

Like you, if I intentionally wanted to hurt her feelings to reciprocate how she treated me, quite simply I could demolish her self-esteem with my mere observations of where she is headed in life and the route she's taken. But I don't want that. And rememer what SuperDave says, you can prevent harsh words but you cannot take them back.

 

It's a karma thing bro, just let her rant and in turn... Let her go. And don't look back.

 

Get your stuff if you MUST but I suggest NC as a solution for YOU and not as a method to 'get her back'. Trust me, I have been where you are with the same type of girl.

 

It's ALL for attention. When she said GOODBYE she expects you to bombard her with some sort of panicky reaction or to lash out. Don't do it. Walk away. For you.

 

Much Love.

[lucalicious]

Day 29.

 

These past two days were hell for me. Please someone respond wit some sort of opinion to my situation.

As some of u know, my ex had a bf for 2.5 years before us.

Well two days ago, a mutual friend of ours (and her ex's) was having a going away party so i went and i saw her walking behind me but then i noticed she didnt come inside the house. i stayed for about 45 minutes and i noticed that neither her nor her ex were anywhere to be seen.

I left and walked outside and looked to the left and saw them sitting together talking. My heart broke into two, i wanted to smash the kids skull in, hes a * * * * * * with no respect. He used to text her things like "goodnight beautiful" while we were in a relationship.

Well they both ignored me as i left, and i know that she didnt go into the ohuse bc she knew i was there.

THEN yesterday i was hanging with a friend bc its his last day in town and we went to a hang out spot and that * * * * * * was there again. I wanted to hit him so bad but i controlled myself. (btw, i am not normally a violent person)

So my ex ignored/avoided me to sit outside and be accompanied by her ex to let the time pass. And for those that dont know when she broke up with me, her ex came up in conversation and she defended him and excused his cheating on her and whatnot.

 

So yeah these past two days were hell. But hey it just proves and reinforces my feelings towards her even more

 

Stay strong, God bless

[bwhite00]

Luca let it go man. Major disrespect from both of them. My advice is avoid them BOTH like the plague so you don't crush the dude. That won't accomplish anything.

 

Keep your self esteem. Keep NC no matter WHAT. Keep your head up bro.

[expert01]

Day 1

 

She really is a wrong un

[scotsguy]

Day 21

 

3 weeks, I'm getting there. Still no attempted contact from her. I no longer jump everytime my phone vibrates expecting it to be a message from her. I do still worry when it rings because I don't get many calls - especially when the number is blocked. I don't want to hear from her. I think about her less than I used to. I sometimes go for hours without her entering my thoughts. I'm focusing on creating and maintaining friendships with old and new friends. NC gets easier as time goes on. You get used to it. Mostly if I think of her, it's about what she might be doing right now. But you know what? It doesn't matter. I only care about what she's doing now if I think we might reconcile one day. If she's gone forever it doesn't bother me, she can do what she wants. And at this point if she came back I would tell her where to go. Not that she will good luck to her, I hope she's happy.

[expert01]

Day 2

 

Love her,don't like her.