syxx87 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Day 23 I dont know whats going on today. I for some reason thought about her a lot today. I found myself wondering if she thought about me at all, if she misses me, and if she still loves me. I found myself thinking a lot wondering how she could do all this and not feel any pain, sorrow, or regret. I also thought about how big of a snake in the grass her boss is for weasling his way in our business. Luckily, I didnt get down or depressed at all. Its' been 23 days and almost four weeks since we talked and with each passing day and no communication, it shows me what her preference is and its dissapointing considering everything we have been through over the past 3.5 years and because the fact there wasnt any extreme issues going on with us and she simply preferred to jump in a relationship with someone else rather than help me with my issues and talk to me about hers. Seven more days! Link to comment
syxx87 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 What goes around comes around...when her turn comes, i hope it will be twice the dosage i got.I gave a lot to that women,great job and all.But didnt mean anything,still treated me like sh*t.Cant get no respect anymore,not even from the ex.Whithout me she would still be folding towels in a department store with an income that will push her to shop at Wall Mart only. I hate women with no class.Shes nothing more than a scum bag to me,just thinking about her makes me sick to my stomach.I dumped her and april and took her back 3 weeks later.Stupid me. I know what you mean Bitebenot! I broke up with my ex back in Oct. because she randomly brought up issues she said she had been holding in for a few months so I just wanted some space. Two days later we go to the movies and see "Paranormal Activity" and I let her stay at my place at her request and let her have my room because she is to horrified to go home. Then the next night she begs, pleads, and cries to me to be her b/f again and I took her back. A month later, her b-day comes up and I fork out money that could (should) have been used for bills, on a diamond ring and diamond necklace for her. Then the next week, she dumps me for her boss because he is really sweet and because I dont do "the little things" anymore. Yeah, lifes' a * * * * * ! Link to comment
mwh67 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 didnt think about her much today. in fact i made sure to talk to a bunch of other women i knew...looks like one wants to come down and visit. i already told her im not into her like that and if we did anything it would only physical and no emotion at all and shes cool with that (so she says). its wrong i know but if it keeps my mind off the ex and she says shes cool with it then whatever. hopefully she doesnt get attached. i still have strong feelings about the ex but thankfully she didn't cross my mind much today. i suppose we will see how tomorrow goes Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 didnt think about her much today. in fact i made sure to talk to a bunch of other women i knew...looks like one wants to come down and visit. i already told her im not into her like that and if we did anything it would only physical and no emotion at all and shes cool with that (so she says). its wrong i know but if it keeps my mind off the ex and she says shes cool with it then whatever. hopefully she doesnt get attached. i still have strong feelings about the ex but thankfully she didn't cross my mind much today. i suppose we will see how tomorrow goes Take it slowly and maybe shes the one who will make you forget your ex. Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Now thats what i call selfish ! A week after the gift you gave her ! This is real sick ! You know what,most women will stick with the new guy even if they love and miss you ! Its when the flames die down with the new dude that they really think of the ex and sometimes regret their decision.The grass aint green anymore, but stained with sh1t ! Link to comment
dazed_83 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 I REALLY missed her loads today, not sure why today was so significant though? I keep wondering what she's up to and whether or not she is happy, then I think to myself does it really matter? After my bro saying watch that movie "swingers" (which a lot of people seem to say) I finally watched it, realized I had already seen it, but enjoyed it anyway, that would be pretty funny if it happened to me. Especially since I'm now planning on traveling to Australia, maybe stay there for good, nothing really left for me here now. Night out wi the boys on Saturday, time for a bevy!! Link to comment
mwh67 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 haha changed my mind...i dont think im going to have that girl come down for a visit. not ready yet. Link to comment
Weaksoss Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Day 10 of NC. Feeling.. odd. Had a scary incident where I was going for a walk (trying to get some light exercise and break in a new pair of heels) and a creepy greaseball started following me in his car for 2 blocks. He finally pulled up next to me and asked if I needed a ride. I put up a super witchy front and stood up super straight and said "NO thank you.", he responded "C'mon just get in the car." and I shouted "NO!" back. I was getting ready to scream my lungs off (and rip his nuts off should he get out of the car) and he sped off. Lucky for me it's easy to slide in to super-scary-beetch mode, and that predators prefer easy targets. I was shaken up pretty bad and it did make me think of my ex. Ugh. Not in the "I miss him sort of way.". It made me think about how protective he would have been once, and how now he probably wouldn't care, or he'd assume I'm making it up for attention. Either way, I'm not going to contact him about it. I'm a bit grumpy.. and I'm thinking I should start carrying pepper spray. Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Almost 4 months,still thinking about her a bit too much to my liking.I miss her still..i wonder if its normal.I guess as long as i will tolerate it.Strange when you dont have control over your own mind,feels like that part doesnt belong to my body,its extra terrestrial.If my mind is my soul,my soul aint in tune with my body while im suffering.I feel like a child who is trying to walk for the first time.Im fit but i feel like im carrying a ton on my shoulders.I have the impression to be a cube in a world of circles.Nothing fits well at this time except my pants and shirts.I drive my car and it seems nothing looks the same any longer and the seat on my right is always empty.I know it might sound stupid, but it feels and looks like i have been trown into another world that is unknown to me.I'm a complete stranger here,just like i dont belong to it.She took half of me away and i cant recuperate it.By doing so she left me incomplete and totaly alone in darkness.Love might be extraordinary, but when you go whitout it so suddenly it leaves you on a free fall into the abyss.I'm a man who can take rejections,but this is so different.I didnt have a say in the matter,i didnt count in that decision even if it was my heart that was at stake.For her i will just fade away like smoke and will forget even my name at one point or another.Someone else has my other half in his arms...yes man do cry.First cry in the last 3 months.How cant she feel my pain and sorrow.I want to love again and i will. Link to comment
star111 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Day 0 I'm back after a whirlwind of mess....due to getting back into contact. sick again of course. thinking I need some sort of professional help. i was seeing a therapist regularly, and recently stopped. I've had huge life transitions- a move, job loss, which included seeing daily friends.... now feeling more alone than ever. and clinging onto him and being needy. but he just puts me down. we are toxic. i know this...have known for years. i need to start living my life for me. i blocked his calls and blocked his email as of today. scares me...but i dont know what else to do. he gives me nothing anymore- yet i still keep trying to get a crumb. he responds, not sure why. but wont see me. i want to forget and move on. im afraid to live my life....and meet new people, that is why im holding on. i want to move past this more than i ever have. im afraid...ive relapsed so many times. and always leads back to this. i can remember a week of good-around the holidays. then it all went spiraling down as usual. i want to feel good....i want to want to meet another. we've been split up for about 2 years- but the cycle makes it all feel new again. its weird- the thought of never talking again- the feeling in my gut makes me know its an addiction, its not love. why is it so easy to break NC? the need for attention? im afraid of meeting someone new....but i feel i have to. i dont know how to be okay alone, without intimacy and attention that one gets from a relationship. Link to comment
FoundYet Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Day 9 of not talking to him...but...good or bad? I finally was able to eat and go outside and run some errands actually during the day...but... Day 0 of... I find myself still looking at pictures of him which I think is still giving me that false sense of hope. Looking at our pictures seem to let me feel better and I am able to function more but I seem to not be wanting to confront reality. I'm someone who when something happens, it happens now try to fix it if you can or move on. Well, this has thrown me for a loop cause I can't fix it and I'm not facing it properly so I'm not moving on, I'm just moving, hurting. It's not denial cause I know it happened. I know I'm not going to contact him because that wouldn't be helpful. I'm just blah and I can't explain it and it's really, really annoying me cause I can't do anything about it right now. I want the quick fix but there isn't any and I'm just stuck in a moment that's going around in circles and now I'm rambling on about nothing!! sigh...I miss him Link to comment
kvb10 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Day 9 of no contact is great! I think its normal that you still miss him and dont be too hard on yourself about looking at the pics. Maybe soon you can start a -no looking at him- challenge. Have a great day. Link to comment
kvb10 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Day 4 has begun... Yesterday and the day before I was doing a little better (was able to eat) but now I am finally back at work and can't eat for some weird reason. That feeling is back in my stomach... maybe because I have started to pick back up with my life and am facing the world for the first time since it happened? Who knows.. I've lost about 4 pounds which puts me at a weight I havent been at since I was a teen.. which is kinda cool, lol. But I shouldnt lose anymore weight cause that wouldnt be healthy. Anyways... I still miss her, of course. But I just keep telling myself, "It's over. It's over. There's no chance. Let it go." Sometimes I feel better, sometimes worse. But life is going on. Link to comment
pepsi71ocean Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 wow 3 years... how was the journey? it was a long and hard struggle, something paramount to the birth of a nation out of the ashes of total war. ive spent the better part of 3 years rebuilding my shattered self, to something that is somewhat human. PTSD is now a thing of the past (for the most part) and the crazy habits also stopped. Its been a long road. Link to comment
kvb10 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 (Dey 4 continued) Today I called a mutual friend and she was with my ex at that moment. Then she called back later and I felt like I was cheating on NC because I asked about everything. My friend said my ex wasn't doing so great and my friend told my ex how much fun I had with her at the movies on Tuesday and that I was happy and laughing a lot. (My ex was surprised.) But I am the dumpee so I am allowed to go have fun and not feel bad about it. I still miss her but I'm glad she got news of one of my high moments. Link to comment
syxx87 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Day 24 I dont know what is going on but for some reason, I feel like I am regressing some. I've been doing good for about the last week or so but the past two or three days have been iffy for some reason. I find myself thinking about her alot here lately. I catch myself reminiscing about old times and thinking about how shady she was to me when she broke up with me then the following month. I got on facebook just to see if she was on and I had to literally convince myself not to go look at her facebook page today. I've been worrying here for the past few days that maybe she isnt coming back since tomorrow will officially make it two months since the breakup first happened and I havent heard from her in almost four weeks (excluding one attempt by her to message me on facebook a few weeks ago that I ignored). I'm not sad or depressed anymore but I hate that I'm still thinking hard about this. Link to comment
anon12 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Just got a text message from her, asking about our flat, the post.. random crap really. What point of "dont contact me unless you say, i want you back" doesnt she get. Bloody pointless questions do my head in. Whats the point in it, when she knows im not responding... Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Something is wrong with all of us (dumpees).We've been told that we are worthless and kicked to the curb and we still chase the dumper ? We keep our hopes alive thinking the ex will come back with open arms after a while ! Maybe we all need a psychologist here. All that because another human doesnt want to share their life with us ? Any one can be replaced,even the President of the USA or the Pope.We loved our ex,the best way would be to tell them " hey, you didnt deserve me in the first place " and move on. By begging we give them power and joy,how sinister ! It is totaly true that its all in our minds to think they cant be replaced...we agree that their is someone else who will be a lot better than the ex ! Its not always because we are needy,its love we have for them.A brake-up is like mourning,we lost a loved one and they arent coming back ! We can always dream but for what ? NC is a tough cookie but a logical solution to that virus called " ex " ! Dont we all try to stay away from any kind of trouble ? Why would it be different with the ex ? Because we love them ? Moving on and forgething them is the only right solution for healing.Wasting time on them is wrong,life is too short. 1 Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Just got a text message from her, asking about our flat, the post.. random crap really. What point of "dont contact me unless you say, i want you back" doesnt she get. Bloody pointless questions do my head in. Whats the point in it, when she knows im not responding... She doesnt get it now does she ? Shes got a hard head...its good that you ignore her,its better for you.Keep up the good work. Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 (Dey 4 continued) Today I called a mutual friend and she was with my ex at that moment. Then she called back later and I felt like I was cheating on NC because I asked about everything. My friend said my ex wasn't doing so great and my friend told my ex how much fun I had with her at the movies on Tuesday and that I was happy and laughing a lot. (My ex was surprised.) But I am the dumpee so I am allowed to go have fun and not feel bad about it. I still miss her but I'm glad she got news of one of my high moments. Its good she knows about that event.She will wonder why your not sad from losing her ! She doesnt have to know that your in pain.The less she knows about you the better it is.Just disappear from her.In time she will miss you and nostalgia will kick in.Hope she reacts to it.You get one shot at it, not two. Link to comment
mwh67 Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 Day 25. Had a few moments of missing her but overall it wasnt too bad of a day. Part of me is getting closer to realizing she is gone but the other part of me still refuses to let go. It sucks but oh well I think I'm getting better. Almost at the month mark and its been getting a bit easier. Link to comment
kvb10 Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 Day 4 ended up crappy.. after a great training session at the gym i had to deal with my roommate telling me the break up was my fault and that he would have broken up with me too. What a jerk! Why is life so challenging right now? Really looking forward to therapy tomorrow so I can start working on ME. Tanks bitebenot.. Going to stick to NC! Congrats mwh67... I am looking forward to being that far. I think considering the time elapsed, you are doing great. Link to comment
HopefulDrew Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 Day 4 ended up crappy.. after a great training session at the gym i had to deal with my roommate telling me the break up was my fault and that he would have broken up with me too. What a jerk! Why is life so challenging right now? Really looking forward to therapy tomorrow so I can start working on ME. Tanks bitebenot.. Going to stick to NC! Congrats mwh67... I am looking forward to being that far. I think considering the time elapsed, you are doing great. Don't you love when your friends have no idea how to help! After my breakup, I was absolutely miserable. And my best friend was trying to get me question my ex's motives! How the hell does that help? The last thing you need to do in that situation is to try and figure out what the ex was thinking. Looking back I wish I would have punched him that day Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 Don't you love when your friends have no idea how to help! After my breakup, I was absolutely miserable. And my best friend was trying to get me question my ex's motives! How the hell does that help? The last thing you need to do in that situation is to try and figure out what the ex was thinking. Looking back I wish I would have punched him that day LOL...your comments really made me laugh hard.He should know when to zip it ! What are friends for huh ! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now