anon12
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Everything posted by anon12
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That is the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard. Go no contact, focus on yourself, not on being an ass to your ex. Is planning to be mean going to help yourself move on? No. Its just showing the opposite form of affection that you want to. Serious, go and reflect on what your planning to do. Then dont do it. Go out with friends, focus on filling your spare time with new hobbies, then just wait it out. Time heals.
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Just for everyone whos currently going NC, or deciding too. While discussing thing with my now girlfriend, former ex, said that not talking to her, was the best thing i could do. I begged, and pleaded to start with, it pushed her away, she told me it did, i realised myself it did aswell. So, try not to stress, is she thinking about me? and the countless other things that run through your mind. And focus on yourself. Who wants to be with someone whos self pitying. Theres no shame in crying your eyes out, and feeling down, we all did it, were all just human after all. But theres a time and place for it, pick yourself up, and go chill with your friends, even if you really dont want to. Remember every situation is unique, dont think because what someone else failed at, or someone else suceeded means its the right thing for you. If you faulter at any point, compose yourself and try again. Its strange, but NC truly worked for me, once id stopped trying to exploit it as a means of getting my ex back, and started using it as a way to heal, move on, and self improve all the best!
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well. my ex wants to come back, shes going to councilling, sorting herself out. and making amends for her mistakes. Shes pretty much crawling after me. but im not sure what to do.. oh NC broken -_-
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day ? hell i dont know . feel so bad. "hi tom happy valentines day 4 yesterday!! " just got that from my ex edit : apprently shes single again?
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urgh i broke it again! she sent me an email about how she was going to go to counciling, and sort herself out like i did, and how she wanted the old her back. She said how her dad was speaking to her again, saying he wishes she hadnt been born, and * * * * like that. and then said, that she just wanted to let me know, but not that i care. I not caring bit was obviously aimed at getting me to respond, but i just said that i was pleased she was making a positive step with the counciling. She responded with some random crap about how her mums friend recons shes gonna split up soon, because there not meant to be, and some other random psychic rubbish. I just said i couldnt speak to her, and left it at that. I was coming on heaps and bounds, but when i got the message, i felt sick to the stomach. urgh.
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day 7, would have been 3 weeks if i hadnt responded to that email.. feeling alright, one of my friends was telling me how she tried speaking to my ex before her about 2months ago, why? havnt got a clue, she was almost 4 years ago now And that she had an argument after commenting on a facebook group she joined. Something about being a fan of "being faithful to your bf/gf" Talk about irony. gonna be a hard week or 2. Not a fan of the valentines idea of doing something romantic just for that day. But i did always do something. This time last year was such a major turning point. This year feels like a step back
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Day 5 ( attempt 2 since she lead me on to believing she was coming back for the 2nd time...) coming upto 3 weeks since we last spoke properly. broke it 5 days ago when she said it had been so long since we spoke.. dont know why i did.. Feel so down lately. doesnt help that valentines day is coming up, and this time last year was a huge stage in our relationship. I miss every moment. Shes still with some asshat who doesnt treat her right. theyve spilt up like 3 times each time shes come to me.. After all the bad things she has to say about him, i just dont get her. urgh, if ever there was a time to be granted 3 wishes
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i broke it yesterday, which was day 14.. dont know why, there was no real need for it. But i reiterated the point that i didnt want her to contact me, unless she said i want you back. anyway, she sent me a message saying its been ages since weve spoke, and that i dont have to reply, she just wanted to know i was ok. I responded that i was doing fine, and that she knows why i havnt spoken to her. She said hopefully time will change that. i didnt reply. Still miss the girl to death. Think ill make a compiled cronicles of my NC experience at some point tomorrow, just explaining how ive felt at the different stages etc. Might come in usefull for someone else. Day 2.
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Got that too! doing my head in. 2 weeks today, since the second time she came back, and left again. got a text message on the 28th, askin about the flat. Hasnt been in contact since. I dont think she will be again to be honest. I still dont understand her at all. Shes ruining what she built up with me, i helped her sort out college, and she was doing really well. Now shes failed her last test, on her final behaviour warning. And says "whys my life so * * * * ?" Well it never bloody used to be! Figure it out... rant over.
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Day 13. nostalgic as hell. urgh.
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day 12? Feelin abit so so, missing the company, doing nothing, but not being bored. you'd think after over 2 months, and having my heart crushed 3 times by her, id be numb to her now, but nope. Still chasing this new girl, things go so slowly, i hate the whole dating game. I miss her, and i love who she was, but im reminding myself that this isnt the same girl anymore. And that i deserved to be treated the way i treated her. She was always the reciever of love, and thats the way she liked it, But i was always the giver, and i enjoy that too. But, i guess i need to be with another giver, not a taker. edit: in no way was that last sentance meant in a sexual way... before anyone thinks it
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day 10, got my computer back from the flat we used to share... desktop was a massive picture of her, hundreds of pics, couple of videos, and loads of notes she left me on there over the years. Upset me abit, still am at the min, but no urge to break NC, just more of an anger at what she left behind, for what... stupid girl.
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I wouldnt agree on a time frame with your ex for when you break it, it kind of removes the chance of nostalgia kicking in, if she knows in a weeks time your going to talk again.
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day 9, and im feeling fine
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I doubt theres really anytihng you can say to make her change her mind. ( Heres a good example, from dumpers view ) I questioned myself a hell of alot to begin with aswell. It did work to get her back. Twice! If there wasnt really any deep problems with your relationship, then who knows, she might come back, But if she does start dating her crush, theres nothing you can do about it. Times a healer... I mean, today the new anniversary thing on facebook, someone told me my ex had it as 15th November with this new guy, which, was 5 days before she left me. Honestly, im slightly pissed off, but did i get that empty feeling, and a sunken heart? Nope. Stick with it, you'll question your motives for NC everyday, Did you do everything you could? honestly, yes. But it takes two. Just give it time, and eventually, if theres no signs, your motive for NC will shift from using it to get her back, to distancing yourself so you can heal. Best of luck!
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It gets harder, you start to question your own motives, But you need to realise, what you contacting them is going to achieve? Not alot! It gets easier in time. Day 8 since i told her im gone for good.
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Just got a text message from her, asking about our flat, the post.. random crap really. What point of "dont contact me unless you say, i want you back" doesnt she get. Bloody pointless questions do my head in. Whats the point in it, when she knows im not responding...
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1 week, first of many.
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Day 6! woke up in A&E after getting a drink spiked. feel like crap. Nearly a week! its all going fine
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I couldnt agree more, the second you go NC, fix yourself up. Gym, new clothes, chill with friends, keep yourself busy. But, like he said, take her back to quickly, without working for it, and they'll be back , but on my experience, for a few days, not a month. Anyway. I guess this is the start of day 5. Feeling good, chatting to a girl i like that ive met twice, briefly. I just dropped myself right in it though, you can tell i havnt dated for a year or two. lol sorry, i admit i turn into a dope when i like someone and now i do sound like a weirdo seeing as ive only seen you twice, briefly aswell * * * * me, ill just shut up, and jump into the hole im digging argh, im geniunly embarrashed about what i just said, sorry and even more so i cant spell #1 dont be sillyyy! dont be embarrased. Trainwreck!
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no doubts she is? difference is this time, ive deleted her from everything, so she has no way of seeing what im upto.
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Day 4. wandering to myself if shes missing me. slight urge to find out. staying strong though.
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Nah im too emotionally attatched to her, and im not that much of an ass. Im proud that i've only ever treated people with respect, im not gonna resort to revenge. Its not my style, and when im through it, atleast ill be able to look back and say i handled the situation with integrity. Do you think that because i said i wouldnt contact her again. Would stop her from contacting me, or would it bug her more knowing that she hasnt left with a clean slate? Do women listen to that, or will it make them more determind in time?
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Shes told me shes coming back twice, and twice gone back to him within a couple of days. I told her this time if she went, she wouldnt get another chance, and that i wouldnt speak to her agian. She begged and pleaded, said she wanted to come back, but just not yet. she told me she wouldnt ever let a guy make her cry, and i just did. And then she asked me to wait, not to be a rebound, but just give her time. I said no, and am back to NC. She might want to come back, but she wont do anything about it. Ive been burnt twice, so i cant wait again.