anon12
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That is the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard. Go no contact, focus on yourself, not on being an ass to your ex. Is planning to be mean going to help yourself move on? No. Its just showing the opposite form of affection that you want to. Serious, go and reflect on what your planning to do. Then dont do it. Go out with friends, focus on filling your spare time with new hobbies, then just wait it out. Time heals.
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Just for everyone whos currently going NC, or deciding too. While discussing thing with my now girlfriend, former ex, said that not talking to her, was the best thing i could do. I begged, and pleaded to start with, it pushed her away, she told me it did, i realised myself it did aswell. So, try not to stress, is she thinking about me? and the countless other things that run through your mind. And focus on yourself. Who wants to be with someone whos self pitying. Theres no shame in crying your eyes out, and feeling down, we all did it, were all just human after all. But theres a time and place for it, pick yourself up, and go chill with your friends, even if you really dont want to. Remember every situation is unique, dont think because what someone else failed at, or someone else suceeded means its the right thing for you. If you faulter at any point, compose yourself and try again. Its strange, but NC truly worked for me, once id stopped trying to exploit it as a means of getting my ex back, and started using it as a way to heal, move on, and self improve all the best!
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well. my ex wants to come back, shes going to councilling, sorting herself out. and making amends for her mistakes. Shes pretty much crawling after me. but im not sure what to do.. oh NC broken -_-
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day ? hell i dont know . feel so bad. "hi tom happy valentines day 4 yesterday!! " just got that from my ex edit : apprently shes single again?
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urgh i broke it again! she sent me an email about how she was going to go to counciling, and sort herself out like i did, and how she wanted the old her back. She said how her dad was speaking to her again, saying he wishes she hadnt been born, and * * * * like that. and then said, that she just wanted to let me know, but not that i care. I not caring bit was obviously aimed at getting me to respond, but i just said that i was pleased she was making a positive step with the counciling. She responded with some random crap about how her mums friend recons shes gonna split up soon, because there not meant to be, and some other random psychic rubbish. I just said i couldnt speak to her, and left it at that. I was coming on heaps and bounds, but when i got the message, i felt sick to the stomach. urgh.
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day 7, would have been 3 weeks if i hadnt responded to that email.. feeling alright, one of my friends was telling me how she tried speaking to my ex before her about 2months ago, why? havnt got a clue, she was almost 4 years ago now And that she had an argument after commenting on a facebook group she joined. Something about being a fan of "being faithful to your bf/gf" Talk about irony. gonna be a hard week or 2. Not a fan of the valentines idea of doing something romantic just for that day. But i did always do something. This time last year was such a major turning point. This year feels like a step back
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Day 5 ( attempt 2 since she lead me on to believing she was coming back for the 2nd time...) coming upto 3 weeks since we last spoke properly. broke it 5 days ago when she said it had been so long since we spoke.. dont know why i did.. Feel so down lately. doesnt help that valentines day is coming up, and this time last year was a huge stage in our relationship. I miss every moment. Shes still with some asshat who doesnt treat her right. theyve spilt up like 3 times each time shes come to me.. After all the bad things she has to say about him, i just dont get her. urgh, if ever there was a time to be granted 3 wishes
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i broke it yesterday, which was day 14.. dont know why, there was no real need for it. But i reiterated the point that i didnt want her to contact me, unless she said i want you back. anyway, she sent me a message saying its been ages since weve spoke, and that i dont have to reply, she just wanted to know i was ok. I responded that i was doing fine, and that she knows why i havnt spoken to her. She said hopefully time will change that. i didnt reply. Still miss the girl to death. Think ill make a compiled cronicles of my NC experience at some point tomorrow, just explaining how ive felt at the different stages etc. Might come in usefull for someone else. Day 2.
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Got that too! doing my head in. 2 weeks today, since the second time she came back, and left again. got a text message on the 28th, askin about the flat. Hasnt been in contact since. I dont think she will be again to be honest. I still dont understand her at all. Shes ruining what she built up with me, i helped her sort out college, and she was doing really well. Now shes failed her last test, on her final behaviour warning. And says "whys my life so * * * * ?" Well it never bloody used to be! Figure it out... rant over.
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Day 13. nostalgic as hell. urgh.
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day 12? Feelin abit so so, missing the company, doing nothing, but not being bored. you'd think after over 2 months, and having my heart crushed 3 times by her, id be numb to her now, but nope. Still chasing this new girl, things go so slowly, i hate the whole dating game. I miss her, and i love who she was, but im reminding myself that this isnt the same girl anymore. And that i deserved to be treated the way i treated her. She was always the reciever of love, and thats the way she liked it, But i was always the giver, and i enjoy that too. But, i guess i need to be with another giver, not a taker. edit: in no way was that last sentance meant in a sexual way... before anyone thinks it
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day 10, got my computer back from the flat we used to share... desktop was a massive picture of her, hundreds of pics, couple of videos, and loads of notes she left me on there over the years. Upset me abit, still am at the min, but no urge to break NC, just more of an anger at what she left behind, for what... stupid girl.
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I wouldnt agree on a time frame with your ex for when you break it, it kind of removes the chance of nostalgia kicking in, if she knows in a weeks time your going to talk again.
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day 9, and im feeling fine