THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[bitebenot]

Day 3 and i might break...because I really want to know.

FB was our thing. We always talked there, its why I'm so scared of it and trying to avoid it so much..but I want to know if he finally took our pictures down. I took mine all down awhile ago but his were up still three days ago but I still dont want to break but I want to know. I feel like it would help close more, but also it might hurt more too. I actually want to ask a friend to go and look for me because maybe it will be less hurtful. I hate this. Day time I seem to do fine but as the day turns into night I start thinking of doing stupid things like looking him up or messaging him. It's such a small thing...

 

The less you know the better it is.For me, i dont know what my ex is doing for almost 4 months,and thats ok with me..i dont want to know.

Since shes my ex,and im her ex..we are now strangers..pure and simple.

Ignorance can be a bliss.

[bitebenot]

Thanks, not gonna be easy, im obessing that shes not coming back, because of other peoples actions not her own, shes turned into a very weak person, and shes too preocupied on other peoples opinions.

 

Cant believe she asked me to wait while shes off with someone else..

Always going to think, what if..

 

Even if you decide to wait,her feelings for you will change with time.And what about the future,what would it be like ? As you can see its hopeless.

Wasting your best years aint a good idea.Even the way she is, you still love her,thats human and completely normal.You were in NC,the healing process as already started for you,add only a litle time and you will be fine.

Best of luck to you on your next relationship.

[anon12]

Thanks.

 

Its bloody hard for a decent guy to find a relationship in this country at this age..

[bitebenot]

Thanks.

 

Its bloody hard for a decent guy to find a relationship in this country at this age..

 

LOL...almost true... there is more good people than bad ! You know where to meet women.Plus you will be wiser on the next one.Make sure shes not on the rebound.Just give it some time,we all have to do this soon or later and it can be fun ! Be safe and give only half of your heart away.

[LostDavid]

Ugh ... just got home and well my Ex decided to message me on the singles site we used to talk on. She knew I knew about her account there and well after I looked at it today for the first time in three months she "gutted" the profile, and put some words in it that "ok well I have to close this as my ex is stalking me" ( w t f once in three months? hah ok) and she decided to message me on the site quoting something in my profile on the site :

 

"(This quote is in my profile)" I wonder a lot about how it takes years to make solid bonds and only minutes to destroy them."

 

funny, it took you four full years to destroy the bond i tried to keep upright. you were the one who refused to change even the slightest bit when i turned into a completely different person for you...

 

hypocrit /spit

 

p.s. the divorce papers should be ready to be sent out any day now"

 

 

Really confused on what she is trying to do or say with that. So tempted to message her back gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

(p.s. that second account was deleted .... ironically, I guess it was her after all)

[syxx87]

Day 17

 

Kind of got set back yesterday because one of my co workers felt the need to tell me that she seen my ex with her boss out eating at some restaurant earlier that day. So yeah that definitely brought down my little three day high I was on. I dont know what to think because my best friend was randomly asking me two nights ago all these questions about if I still wanted to get back with her and if I did what I would do if the opportunity was available, what would we have to do, and a bunch of other "what ifs". When I asked him why he was asking that, he said its' something I should be thinking about. He has been the most adamant about me moving on and forgetting about her so I found it odd.

 

Then when I told him last night how I kind of got set back because I heard about her going out to eat with her boss earlier in the day, he had a puzzled look on his face and said "mmm hmm". I finally just asked him if he knew something that I didnt and he wouldnt tell me and then I asked did he talk to her and he said that he did. He wouldnt tell me everything she said because he didnt want to get my hopes up and possibly set my healing back and also because she felt as if he was the only person she could go to since all her friends live out of town, she doesnt want to talk to her mom about it, and her and her sister arent on good terms at the moment, so he didnt want to betray her trust (as if she deserves any trust after all of this).

 

All he would tell me was that the gist of the conversation was that she didnt know what she wanted and that she was confused. I didnt know what to think because she has been feeding that line since the day we broke up almost two months ago. I'm finally talking to another girl so it is making all of this easier to deal with but it is still frustrating because I dont know what my ex might be trying to pull.

[bitebenot]

Sad but true..we all have that free choice to brake-up with someone.We all have our reasons even if its hard to accept the exs new ideologies.When we think of breaking up with someone ,it means that something is wrong and we no longer wish to be in that relationship.The break-up is the results of weeks or even months of thinking and preparation.So when we are hit it the face with the "we need to talk " its panic time.The ex stands firm with the decison.Thats why its so hard to get the ex back.Yes they might regret the separation with the one who was their soul mate but to them its over and thats it ! For most of them, they were ready to move on the same day.To bring back the ex takes nothing short of a miracle.You can read all the threads you want,i did ! Not many do come back.In about 300,i counted no more then 5 ! But it is a bit more since the lucky ones dont come back to tell about their success.From all the technics i have read about to bring back the ex,NC is the only one that stands out.First to heal...second to let the ex miss you. None will tell the truth, all wont work anyway.So many factors to evaluate. Was the ex still in love ? Will he/she miss you ? Was it a bad break-up ? Was it a rebound relation ? The age of the ex. How long was the realtionship. Is the ex with another lover.Was the sex good or mostly bad.Theres no end to it. If the ex decides to come back,its his/her own choice and time to do so.Staying away from them is very logic and must be done. It all boils down to this, " they rarely come back " ! Yes you can try,NC will do that but dont expect anything about the ex coming back even less crawling.True the ex does communicate most of the time,but dont anticipate anything about reconciliation. Again,its my own opinion.

[bitebenot]

What will you do about it now ?

[bitebenot]

Like i said,the less you know the better it is !

[LostDavid]

What will you do about it now ?

 

 

 

Sigh I don't know : really wish I had some insight to what her message meant. Why would she comment on my profile like that it seems like she cares if she would even read it (it's near the bottom half) so she obviously went over my profile and commented on that part.

 

I'm lost I have no clue what I'm going to do at the moment.

[Ashsun87]

Made it over 30 days, not sure how many I'm at exactly. Didn't check her facebook once, myspace one, didn't text her or call her, and I didn't stalk her. Whew. I feel good. Not great, but good is enough after the pain I was experiencing. Moving on feels good.

[bitebenot]

Sigh I don't know : really wish I had some insight to what her message meant. Why would she comment on my profile like that it seems like she cares if she would even read it (it's near the bottom half) so she obviously went over my profile and commented on that part.

 

I'm lost I have no clue what I'm going to do at the moment.

 

Well,she can be very mean huh ! Just ignore her.Nothing you can say at this time to rectify the situation.If you answer back,you will give her another reason to bash you back.She wants reactions from you,it shows.Saying that the divorce papers should be ready to be sent...true or not ? Who knows.But if she goes along with the divorce,then that would be the best because she refuses to make it work.If you receive the divorce documents,dont give her anything related to her debt ! Now she has total control and theres nothing you can do at this time.Thats why i say to not snoop around,its never good.

Again,just disappear ! Relax and keep your cool for now.

[bitebenot]

Made it over 30 days, not sure how many I'm at exactly. Didn't check her facebook once, myspace one, didn't text her or call her, and I didn't stalk her. Whew. I feel good. Not great, but good is enough after the pain I was experiencing. Moving on feels good.

 

Great ! Keep going that way,NC is still your best friend.

[syxx87]

Like i said,the less you know the better it is !

 

Yeah I know, thats why even though she is still my friend on FB, I avoid going to her page that way I dont see something I possibly dont want to. Its just frustrating that people feel the need to tell me that they see them out in public as if I want to know. As far as her going to my best friend to talk, I didnt let that set me back because after her stunt she pulled on New Years, I take anything she has to say with a grain of salt. Unless she tells and shows that she honestly wants to get back together and that she is done with her boss, I don't believe a damn word she says.

 

Bitebenot, you know how they say the dumper never comes back until they somehow sense that the dumpee moves on? Do you think she could possibly begin to sense that I am which is why she ran to my bestfriend to to talk? I'm not completely over her but I have found that I care a lot less now that I am starting to talk to a girl I met last weekend and it seems that she likes me. I might just be pulling for false hope here but its just a thought that came to mind.

[LostDavid]

Well,she can be very mean huh ! Just ignore her.Nothing you can say at this time to rectify the situation.If you answer back,you will give her another reason to bash you back.She wants reactions from you,it shows.Saying that the divorce papers should be ready to be sent...true or not ? Who knows.But if she goes along with the divorce,then that would be the best because she refuses to make it work.If you receive the divorce documents,dont give her anything related to her debt ! Now she has total control and theres nothing you can do at this time.Thats why i say to not snoop around,its never good.

Again,just disappear ! Relax and keep your cool for now.

 

 

Indeed she can my friend, she can be very mean. As though her comment didn't "hurt me" I just wonder why she'd bother reading my profile at all and to even bother commenting on it.

 

I feel I need to e-mail her and call off the terms I agreed to based on this as I surely don't want to pay 50% of the debt with her acting like this now. I need to build up my life and not pay for things that she caused, yet at the same time we were married 50/50 sigh. So torn. Was even going to leave her be without questions unanswered for her sake of not hurting and now god knows /sigh.

 

 

I know I should just back off keep my cool and disappear, going to try my hardest. Here is for hoping it works out that way.

[bitebenot]

Well,to move on and feeling good takes about 3 months,enough time for the dumper to regret the decision.Often the dumper wants to come back,but the timing is always lousy since the dumpee is healing well and he/she remembers the pain they had.Also like you,another lover comes into play.

Sometimes the dumpers finds out and starts to feel the lost and misses the ex even more.Nostalgia kicks in real fast and they can start begging their way back. Let your ex know about your new gf,use your best friend to transmit a litle hint.Just talk to him about your gf,he will tell her im sure(if he didnt already).Dont worry,its fair play.

[bitebenot]

Indeed she can my friend, she can be very mean. As though her comment didn't "hurt me" I just wonder why she'd bother reading my profile at all and to even bother commenting on it.

 

I feel I need to e-mail her and call off the terms I agreed to based on this as I surely don't want to pay 50% of the debt with her acting like this now. I need to build up my life and not pay for things that she caused, yet at the same time we were married 50/50 sigh. So torn. Was even going to leave her be without questions unanswered for her sake of not hurting and now god knows /sigh.

 

 

I know I should just back off keep my cool and disappear, going to try my hardest. Here is for hoping it works out that way.

 

She goes for divorce then dont give her a penny,it will become your only satisfaction ! Shes cruel to you,f*** the pity ok ? Stand up marine,gung ho !

[bitebenot]

SYXX87

To be more to the point about your question,the answer is yes.She knows your moving on,you dont show any interest in her anymore,NC makes her think even more.She talked about you to your best friend,so something is bothering her.I would like to know if she knows about your new gf.

[LostDavid]

She goes for divorce then dont give her a penny,it will become your only satisfaction ! Shes cruel to you,f*** the pity ok ? Stand up marine,gung ho !

 

 

 

Indeed if she goes for Divorce I won't. I do feel as though I owe it. But at the same time all the bull she put me through , torn in the middle I say.

Guess we'll have to wait and see I'm going to need to e-mail her though and make contact as to say the terms I agreed to need to be changed after this.

 

So back to day 1 once I do e-mail her blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

[syxx87]

SYXX87

To be more to the point about your question,the answer is yes.She knows your moving on,you dont show any interest in her anymore,NC makes her think even more.She talked about you to your best friend,so something is bothering her.I would like to know if she knows about your new gf.

 

As far as I know of, she doesnt know about the new girl. I dont know if (or think) my friend mentioned the new girl. Unless someone went and told her (which I dont think so), she doesnt know. The new girl isnt my g/f because I'm holding back for several reasons. 1) I'm keeping my guard up because I'm worried about the possibility of getting hurt again. 2) I'm still kind of holding out hope for the ex to come back (yes I know, counter productive). 3) I dont want to get in another serious relationship since I just got out of one almost two months ago. I obviously still have feelings for my ex so I dont think it would be fair to the new girl because I would in essence be stringing her along (especially if the ex came back).

[klafeoj]

So today would have been our 4 year anniversary and had a great night with some friends. I get home and get a facebook message from my ex saying

 

"Will you please say something to me. Seriously, I'm literally about to give up forever. I miss talking to you ass hole. You ignoring me is not helping anything."

 

We march onward...i was talking to a mutual friend and she was saying "ha you still talk to me but not her family." i told her that i was cutting my connections to my life with my ex and that she may be gone as well. I told her that it does suck but that i am creating a new reality that doesn't involve my ex. I feel bad about the friends and family in the middle that get hurt by our actions. I told her that it was for the greater good and that sometimes doing what was needed was not necessarily the most present thing in the world. So as i said she will either give up (idk if she will or not) or come back... lol on the next episode of days of our lives.... LOL

[bitebenot]

As far as I know of, she doesnt know about the new girl. I dont know if (or think) my friend mentioned the new girl. Unless someone went and told her (which I dont think so), she doesnt know. The new girl isnt my g/f because I'm holding back for several reasons. 1) I'm keeping my guard up because I'm worried about the possibility of getting hurt again. 2) I'm still kind of holding out hope for the ex to come back (yes I know, counter productive). 3) I dont want to get in another serious relationship since I just got out of one almost two months ago. I obviously still have feelings for my ex so I dont think it would be fair to the new girl because I would in essence be stringing her along (especially if the ex came back).

 

OK

Since you do have a new girl,use her to your advantage since its not serious yet.Try it,you got nothing to lose and much to gain.Your ex will know for sure that your moving on and will think hard on it.

[bitebenot]

Its starting to kill her,she misses you,its very good.Let her crawl.Let her stew.

Soon the begging will start,if she does,you got it made dude !

[LostDavid]

So today would have been our 4 year anniversary and had a great night with some friends. I get home and get a facebook message from my ex saying

 

"Will you please say something to me. Seriously, I'm literally about to give up forever. I miss talking to you ass hole. You ignoring me is not helping anything."

 

 

As Bite said, you have that in the bag, lucky man if you want her that is. Jealous of you but I wish you the best seem to be doing great.

Keep it up.

[klafeoj]

well she's still with other man so we'll see what happens