THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[bitebenot]

Day 3, heard more * * * * from random people i dont know, about how they were argueing non stop, and he went home and trashed his room infront of her...

What the ...

 

Like you bitebenot, im pissed at her, but at what shes doing to herself now, not what she did to me. Dont really get it.

 

Thing is, i recon she'll be back in a few weeks. But how am i ever supposed to trust her again.

 

Hate these mood swings

 

She wants to come back,make her crawl from London to Paris on her knees,lol

[bitebenot]

Day 3, heard more * * * * from random people i dont know, about how they were argueing non stop, and he went home and trashed his room infront of her...

What the ...

 

Like you bitebenot, im pissed at her, but at what shes doing to herself now, not what she did to me. Dont really get it.

 

Thing is, i recon she'll be back in a few weeks. But how am i ever supposed to trust her again.

 

Hate these mood swings

 

They will break up because of you,lol.She still loves you and he knows it.He tries to get her totaly but she cant since her heart is with you !

I firmly believe this,their relationship was doomed from the beginning,hes just a rebound.

[anon12]

Shes told me shes coming back twice, and twice gone back to him within a couple of days. I told her this time if she went, she wouldnt get another chance, and that i wouldnt speak to her agian.

 

She begged and pleaded, said she wanted to come back, but just not yet.

she told me she wouldnt ever let a guy make her cry, and i just did.

And then she asked me to wait, not to be a rebound, but just give her time.

 

I said no, and am back to NC.

 

She might want to come back, but she wont do anything about it. Ive been burnt twice, so i cant wait again.

[bitebenot]

Shes told me shes coming back twice, and twice gone back to him within a couple of days. I told her this time if she went, she wouldnt get another chance, and that i wouldnt speak to her agian.

 

She begged and pleaded, said she wanted to come back, but just not yet.

she told me she wouldnt ever let a guy make her cry, and i just did.

And then she asked me to wait, not to be a rebound, but just give her time.

 

I said no, and am back to NC.

 

She might want to come back, but she wont do anything about it. Ive been burnt twice, so i cant wait again.

 

If she does come back,do it for the fun..full benefits but not to be your gf.

Just a thought....is it crazy or what ?

[anon12]

Nah im too emotionally attatched to her, and im not that much of an ass.

 

Im proud that i've only ever treated people with respect, im not gonna resort to revenge. Its not my style, and when im through it, atleast ill be able to look back and say i handled the situation with integrity.

 

Do you think that because i said i wouldnt contact her again. Would stop her from contacting me, or would it bug her more knowing that she hasnt left with a clean slate?

 

Do women listen to that, or will it make them more determind in time?

[bitebenot]

Nah im too emotionally attatched to her, and im not that much of an ass.

 

Im proud that i've only ever treated people with respect, im not gonna resort to revenge. Its not my style, and when im through it, atleast ill be able to look back and say i handled the situation with integrity.

 

Do you think that because i said i wouldnt contact her again. Would stop her from contacting me, or would it bug her more knowing that she hasnt left with a clean slate?

 

Do women listen to that, or will it make them more determind in time?

 

I can tell you this,if her love is true for you,nothing will stop her from contacting you ! She would even if you told her not to ! Love is always stronger and i am sure of that.

[kal22]

I just basically told my ex gf after breaking up with me a month ago that I cant do this contact stuff any more so im taking the NC challenge...

[bitebenot]

I just basically told my ex gf after breaking up with me a month ago that I cant do this contact stuff any more so im taking the NC challenge...

 

A wise decision,You wont regret it !

[FoundYet]

Day 1 ..again

 

thanks for the encouragement bitebenot. I did eat more today but it made me sick. I'm already way under weight

 

No crying today.

But I think my mind is play the trick on me, in that he still has our pictures up on his page so my mind thinks he still cares...but I know he will never take them down and still move on. But since they are still up I feel good, thinking of possibilities, which are a lie. crap. I want to ask him to take them down. I even have a friend who will ask for me. But I really don't want him to take them down. I'm still in that fantasy world and scared of what will happen when they are. And I am trying to stick to that no talking NC. arrg.

Still not sleeping well.

[klafeoj]

Day 18. 3 days since her last breakdown...She seemed to be on a one week schedule before. Always stirring * * * * up every 6/7 days. She may stick to it I honestly don't know. A friend and I have a hunch the next break she will have will be her actually coming here (12 hr drive) so i can't "ignore" her.

[kvb10]

Okay I am in. She broke up with me on Friday because she likes someone else and wants to experience other things (i am her first relationship). We telephoned a little on Saturday and today. I just called her back though to tell her that we have to stop talking because it is not going to help us heal. So we just said our goodbyes and so begins the challenge.

 

Minute one.. hopeful, scared, sad.

[bitebenot]

Okay I am in. She broke up with me on Friday because she likes someone else and wants to experience other things (i am her first relationship). We telephoned a little on Saturday and today. I just called her back though to tell her that we have to stop talking because it is not going to help us heal. So we just said our goodbyes and so begins the challenge.

 

Minute one.. hopeful, scared, sad.

 

You will make it,dont worry..just give it some time.We heal even if we refuse to do so !

[bitebenot]

Day 1 ..again

 

thanks for the encouragement bitebenot. I did eat more today but it made me sick. I'm already way under weight

 

No crying today.

But I think my mind is play the trick on me, in that he still has our pictures up on his page so my mind thinks he still cares...but I know he will never take them down and still move on. But since they are still up I feel good, thinking of possibilities, which are a lie. crap. I want to ask him to take them down. I even have a friend who will ask for me. But I really don't want him to take them down. I'm still in that fantasy world and scared of what will happen when they are. And I am trying to stick to that no talking NC. arrg.

Still not sleeping well.

 

Try to use liquids instead of a meal ,i did this for 1 week.You can find that at a grocery store or a pharmacy.That wont last long,i was eating better after two weeks.Just hang on,it will get better.And for your own sake,erase him from FB !!!! Stop having hope,wont do any good.Think mosty about yourself and f**** him ! He doesnt care,why should you ? Go out more often,dont stay in your apartment moping all day because it will bring you down.

[BlueRizla]

I think the last time I posted on this thread I was challenging myself to 3 months NC. Its now over 4... 123 days to be exact. Do I deserve to give myself a pat on the back? I dunno. It doesnt feel like much of an achievement to purposely not get in touch with the woman I still have so much love for. Though it had to be done and I'm grateful for the insights and knowledge I have gained in the process.

 

Today started ok but now its going downhill. A couple of pics on FB can do that to you. Nothing suggesting anything other than.. I still fancy the pants off her lol. I dont know what is right anymore. So many are posting on NC. To catch up or not to catch up. NC, LC or just C..? She wouldnt know me anymore, though in a good way. I'm just the authentic me again. She saw glimpses of that. I was a mess. I hold my hands up. I was in a bad way when I met her and lost myself trying to use the connection to give me strength but things were only ever going to change while I was on my own and I did it for me. It's the only way to be sure. Life is bittersweet isnt it fellow ENAers!? She protects herself through denial and would need to admit her own issues if anything were ever to happen between us. She will never contact me. She thinks we are 'not suited'..thats all I got..along with all the blame. It was a funny split.. kinda mutual..we were both hurting. I worked hard on myself..I knew what had to be done and I did it.. I tried to sort it out but it was too soon and I hadnt got a handle on my emotions and I'm sure I pushed her away for ever. Crap. Really crap. Have I healed?.. I think i'd be sure if I had..so I guess I havent.

 

Therefore Day 123.. keep on keepin' on!

[syxx87]

There should be a "hide" button next to the status update. Congrats on 19 days!!!

 

Thanks for tip! I feel like I can now roam through facebook freely again

[syxx87]

Day 20

 

Its' hard to believe that I have gone 20 days without talking to my ex at all. We havent gone that long without talking since... never lol. Ever since I met her in 2006, we have always had some type of communication or contact, be it class together, phone, Aim, e-mail, and etc. I'm just ready to get through these last ten days and to see how I feel after that point. Its been hard (and still is) but looking back now, these 20 days have gone by pretty fast. I still want my ex back but I see that if/when she comes back it will be a major work in progress that will take time to get right.

[bitebenot]

Same here,she will never contact me and either will i.Since shes with another dude,shes gone for good.Nothing else to do but to keep on going and let life take me elsewhere.120 days in a week,i must admit i feel much better.

I have a gf already,taking it slow.I still miss my ex,but what can we do ! She doesnt care anymore and either do i !

[Snowgrrl83]

So, yesterday, I ran into my ex at the club at the ski resort.

I politely said hello to him, gave him a quick hug, and introduced him to my friend. Then, I quickly said, "We have to go find our friend" and we ran off. We still couldnt find our friend so we went dancing away from him on the dance floor minding our own business and having fun. So he shows up in front of me and he says "well, me and the guys are leaving soon, and i just wanted to see how you were doing" I said I was doing great that I had gone shopping with a friend today and that I was going to the spa tomorrow. then he asked again how I was feeling.... I said that it was "refreshing". Then he just said that he missed me and hugged me for about 30 seconds. My face stayed straight and I was rubbing his back while he was hugging me and I simply didn't know what to say from that point. I just said goodbye and that was it.

 

Too bad for him.

 

So is this day 1 or day 4. I sort of avoided him and he really evidently confronted me.

[kal22]

Well after day1 I contacted my ex to get my house key from her and exchange belongings...

[FoundYet]

I've been drinking orange juice and water for a week and very little food for a month as this relationship was closing down. I'm slowly trying solids again but they seem to always make my stomach hurt.

I deleted him off facebook two weeks ago and that first week was horrid to where I actually contacted him get a definite answer and some kind of closure. Bad. It's been a week since no talking NC, but it's so easy to type in his name in the search and there he is. I can't see his profile, thank goodness, but I can still see the pictures.

I'm a mess right now and going out, any little thing sets me off crying. That first step of trying to move on is slowly killing me.

And sadly, it's that stupid hope that keeps me from hysterically crying, but then makes me sleep all day long...

I hate this.

[kvb10]

Day 1... ate twice today, small portions, but better than on the weekend. Also drinking more water. Came into work 4 hours late, but that's okay I said I was sick. Think I'll go to the doctor tomorrow morning before work and get some therapy prescribed (in Germany insurance will pay for it if it's prescribed). Just feel like I have to.

 

NC was supposed to have started yesterday after we talked on the phone the last time... but I called that evening one last time and we agreed to begin NC on Monday.

 

I did a really stupid thing and looked at our chat history on skype today when I got to work. I was able to look back at the way she was chatting to me on the same day that she broke up with me. Now I notice.. there were no hearts, no i love yous and no kissie faces. She always sends those though.. even the day before she broke up with me. Sigh...

 

At the end of our conversation last night she said, "we're going to be okay". I would understand that to be like we - together - but since english is not her native tongue maybe she meant that she is gonig to be okay and that i am going to be okay... But I can't think about it. I guess I still just have hope because she said also that she is confused and doesn't know what she wants and hopes that in the future we can be involved in each others lives in whatever way that may be. And when I got desperate for a moment and asked her to come back she said "I cant right now". So.. I am going to try to move on and try not to hope too much... I have to put my hope in a little box and put it up on the shelf.

 

She wants us to get back in touch after 1 week of NC.. not sure why.. guess just to check in. I told her that after that we would need to go back on NC because it's going to take some months before we heal enough to start casually talking again...

[Snowgrrl83]

I wish I could call him and tell him that I miss him too. I also want to tell him that I can't just go back to him because he didn't treat me well... and I simply can't trust him. That would take a lot to build it up again.

[Snowgrrl83]

I've been drinking orange juice and water for a week and very little food for a month as this relationship was closing down. I'm slowly trying solids again but they seem to always make my stomach hurt.

 

FoundYet? -- Eat some soup and have a few crackers every day... slowly work your way up again. I'm still not eating normally either. I lost weight, but I'm slowly eating a bit more every day.

[kvb10]

Sometimes I get a hunger pain for a moment because of not eating... but I like the feeling because it destracts me briefly from the pain and depression that is starting to consume me.

 

THe first two days I was more frantic and here and there... now it seems like I am settling into a deep sadness.

[anon12]

Day 4. wandering to myself if shes missing me. slight urge to find out. staying strong though.