THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Romanticism]

You sound in better shape then I did at the start. You seem to understand that the more you think and try to dissect what she's doing/thinking you only set yourself back. You have to truly focus on yourself to get anywhere after a bad breakup. Especially if you think that person was treating you wrong, which she was treating you wrong.

[Firesite]

You sound in better shape then I did at the start. You seem to understand that the more you think and try to dissect what she's doing/thinking you only set yourself back. You have to truly focus on yourself to get anywhere after a bad breakup. Especially if you think that person was treating you wrong, which she was treating you wrong.

Ha at the start I was a mess, but im slowly beginning to work on myself. I started p90x a few weeks before we broke up and that has helped me stay true to myself. Im even getting a six pack now lol. I just need to make some new friends I don't have many were im at right now.

[icantsay]

How funny! I'm in San Antonio

 

Congratulations on the job! I also recently was hired - it's nice to know we are moving forward somewhere, right?

 

It will be painful for a while.. and you probably won't get closure from your ex (at least not any time soon).

At least I didn't - the only way I am now moving on now is the thought that he probably met his new girl before the breakup. It's disgusting to think, but it motivates me to forget about him. Don't be surprised if she does the same thing.

 

Day 7 here! I finally applied to a field course in Costa Rica. I'm so excited! It'll be a fun way to spend the summer

[icantsay]

Ha at the start I was a mess, but im slowly beginning to work on myself. I started p90x a few weeks before we broke up and that has helped me stay true to myself. Im even getting a six pack now lol. I just need to make some new friends I don't have many were im at right now.

 

I can recommend "meetup" if you want to make new friends

Also, what I did was reconnecting with a lot of my old friends.. that really helps!

[Moonchill]

Day 36 of NC!!

 

Still working on myself to feel good about myself without having a loved one around giving me confirmation. It's a challenge to say the least But I'm doing good. Just a work in progress.

Have been reading back emails from different exes. I won't recommend it. It brings up so much old garbage. I feel guilty because of the way I've acted in the past. Can't change anything about it though.

I hope one day I can find a way to become peacefull with all of the ghosts in my past.

[Romanticism]

I can recommend "meetup" if you want to make new friends

Also, what I did was reconnecting with a lot of my old friends.. that really helps!

 

I have to agree here, reconnecting with some of my old friends has helped a lot.

 

I have been to San Antonio quite a bunch, I used to pass through it a lot when I went to visit family in Laredo.

 

My ex was very much a recluse, when it came to social interaction. I doubt she would be interested in moving into a relationship with anyone, let alone me anytime soon. I personally think she has a lot of growing to do, if she were to move to a relationship so soon it would most certainty fail (I know her well).

 

Is it out of the question? It never is, and frankly like you said if she were to move on this quick I would know it was all a lie. I would remove/block all contact and move on with my life. However, deep down I still have feelings...no matter how hurt they might be. I am trying my best to work on myself as a person, but that kind of pain just doesn't seem to go very easily. I realized that I had very serious feelings that weren't reciprocated well.

 

To be honest, something I have been thinking about for some time is kind of toxic as well. I think she used the distance excuse to run away from her problems. This was one of my problems with her in the relationship, she would not face her problems/fears head on and would try and act like they weren't there. Eventually things would get so bottled up she would just explode mentally. I think she needed an excuse to say she should move on because she didn't have the fortitude to try, at all.

 

She made the decision with her parents help, which is ironic because early in the relationship I said she needs to support me and not follow her parents over me every argument. It's almost like I knew then that it could of been a problem down the road...

 

Anyway, I don't really have much to report. I go to work tomorrow for training, and I have plans that evening. I have tried to also stop looking at her on any other device (internet, phone, etc).

 

I hold my friends/family to a high standard, I expect them to be great people. I understand people make mistakes, I have learned this recently about myself especially. However, I truly hope she will grow as a person. I say this because I really did love her.

[Romanticism]

Day 36 of NC!!

 

Still working on myself to feel good about myself without having a loved one around giving me confirmation. It's a challenge to say the least But I'm doing good. Just a work in progress.

Have been reading back emails from different exes. I won't recommend it. It brings up so much old garbage. I feel guilty because of the way I've acted in the past. Can't change anything about it though.

I hope one day I can find a way to become peacefull with all of the ghosts in my past.

 

I read some of my messages to the girl before the current ex. I was pretty pathetic, and childish in my responses to her. She tried to reach out to me and I gave her nothing but back lash. She was so confused and scared that she basically ignored me for months. She sent me a message later on asking about me, however she didn't take any credit for what had happened...I admit I was angry and childish, but I noticed she had not grown either.

 

More time passed and she had sent me a message in December while I was dating my previous gf. She wanted to know where I was and how I was doing...Again I acted childish and still had pent up anger. One day I just woke up and realized I had been an utter fool, who cares who was right...the truth is none of us were.

[zztoppoochie90]

Day 20. I want to text to see how she is after the depression revelation but I fear that may make whatever anxiety she has worse. Especially if she's getting on with things.

 

So continuing with NC for now...

[Firesite]

Day 29. Last night I was going home and there was a big event going on next to were I live (my ex works there) I saw her car. Didn't see her, it sucks how we haven't had any interaction since the break up. I wanted to go in and see how shes doing but, I don't even know how she would respond if she saw me.

[CocoaBean]

I have been reading a lot of this thread. It really does seem like this thread should NOt be in the "getting back together" area, but rather healing, or moving on.

 

I can see no contact or LC for about 2 weeks to keep from begging/pleading. But after that LC for a while should be used. It is true, you will be somewhat uncomfortable, it will hurt. How much you are willing to sacrifice is up to you. I told Will that I want to fight for him. And you know what- I will!!! I don't have to beg and plead to do that. We work together quite intricately and I have been keeping the conversations to work, and steering him away from personal. We split up our pets when I moved out and he tries to talk about them, I steer the conversation away.

 

He is hurting too. He needs a friend. I want to fight for him, I have made mistakes and I believe that by being by his side and supporting him that I can show him that I have changed, and realized my mistakes. I can also grow in doing this.

 

I love him so much and long for reconciliation, but I am NOT ready to give up. I had been reading this thread for advice and support, and I find that most here are looking to give up on getting back together, and I feel that this thread is in under the WRONG title!!!

 

You can find what I am going through under "my story" if you want to read.

[icantsay]

Agree! I have no idea why this was put in "getting back together".... NC is about moving on?! I'm not interested in getting back!

[zentoCC]

Day 1

 

Feel numb a year ago we were telling each other that we loved each other for the first time. I think it doesn't help that we were in the honeymoon period this time last year so I have a lot of great memories or things we did about this time.

 

I broke down last after getting drunk and practically begged him back he didn't reply and now I fell stupid I'm not sure whether to block him on Facebook again either because of the message that sends.

 

I'm just going to have to accept this as a bad day and hope tomorrow's better I guess.

[thinspolover]

Day 2, just a few more hours and im into day 3. The most ive done is 4 days. We have been broken up for around a month now. Its getting better but still hurts alot, so i try not to think of him or look at old pictures and textmessages. I deleted everything. Why does love have to be so hard? Just gonna focus on my studies since i have a test on monday

take care everyone and good luck and lets keep strong!

[icantsay]

Day 9

 

Welcome everyone! And I assure you that tomorrow will get better! hang in there.

[Firesite]

Day 30, Im back home now away from the city were my ex is. It still hurts but for some reason I think im doing better. I know its over cause of the way she has treated me and handled the break up. Im going to focus on my self for the rest of this semester and try to go on a date before summer starts.

[zentoCC]

Day 2 after crying all morning my Mum reminded me of why I'm better off without him. I decided to pick myself up. I played games and skyped my friend some thing I haven't done in ages, it helped. Been trying to visualise myself with other guys, it doesn't sound as impossible as it used to.

 

I haven't had much sleep but today is quite busy so hopefully I should be ok, and sleep better tonight, if not at least I've took Wednesday morning off to get my hair cut.

[dreamstate83]

It's been about 6 months no contact - 8 months since the breakup. We live separate lives on different corners of the earth now. I've thought about her from time to time, but have no desire to reconnect. It'll take her many many years to learn the life lessons I would require for a reconciliation and I'm not getting any younger.

 

I don't lose sleep over it. I have no problem dating other people. I'm am neither sad nor angry about the injustices of the past. I hope that she does grow up eventually, but for her own good and not for mine. I wish her well

[Firesite]

Day 31, last night I went out finally started talking to new women. I could tell she wanted to hook up but I just couldn't bring myself to. I told her good night and I would see her later. Going to try calling her again so we can hangout but I thought about my ex while I was with her. It's still kinda weird being single again lol

[Poisonheart]

day 8

 

It's still very hard at night when I lay in bed without you. I'm so distracted and not motivated to do anything. I miss you so much.

[zentoCC]

Day 3

 

Dreamt about him last night, we bumped into each other and he ended up asking me out to dinner though a child was coming with us to, the dream didn't really make sense and he wasn't ink a lot of it, but still not a great way to wake up.

 

I took a sleeping tablet last night got woken up in the middle of the night but other than that best sleep in ages.

 

Yesterday I kept my mind on moving on I even told my friend at work about the break up, though I acted like I wasn't bothered, it somehow made it more final.

[pj7]

I love this idea!! Day 11!!

Felt okay, until I found out he might be at a party i'm going to this weekend, which also happens to be the same day as his birthday.

Freaking out already.

[icantsay]

Day 11:

 

Well.. Good day for me! Got lots of things done, though I'm still a little stressed over my loads of coursework.. but I will it get it done this week... I'll just have to sacrifice some sleep

Other than that, I feel as happy as I could be! Meeting some old friends next week and it'll be fun!

[icantsay]

Day 3

 

Dreamt about him last night, we bumped into each other and he ended up asking me out to dinner though a child was coming with us to, the dream didn't really make sense and he wasn't ink a lot of it, but still not a great way to wake up.

 

I took a sleeping tablet last night got woken up in the middle of the night but other than that best sleep in ages.

 

Yesterday I kept my mind on moving on I even told my friend at work about the break up, though I acted like I wasn't bothered, it somehow made it more final.

 

I had so many dreams about him in the beginning... It's just awful waking up with him on your mind. Hang in there.. we are all going through this with you!

[icantsay]

I love this idea!! Day 11!!

Felt okay, until I found out he might be at a party i'm going to this weekend, which also happens to be the same day as his birthday.

Freaking out already.

 

Yikes.. How about going to something else with your friends? It's always painful to meet an ex at things like that.. If I were you, I'd avoid it at all costs!

[Doc Blaze]

DAy 8.....im keeping strong..still hurts like helll but not as much...havent cried in a while which is good...it sucks right after i get home from work...i dont want to think about her anymore