THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Blondie176]

Excellent post Nolia, thank you! xxx

 

Day 9

 

I have been on and off today, i am still bursting into tears at random times, shouldnt i be passing the teary stage by now?

 

I managed to watch the football and was actually distracted by it at times my mind kept wondering though, if him and his new woman were watching together. Urgh.

 

I hope i start to sleep better soon because i am exhausted.

 

Hope everyone is doing ok xxx

[transmit]

Day 14 (almost 3 months since BU)

This will likely be my last entry in the NC thread (I will probably be scarce on GBT as well). I met someone new, we spent the weekend together, and it went great. I don't know where it will go just yet, but I'm ready to let someone new into my life. I'm not 100% healed but I've let go of the old relationship, I no longer seek reconciliation, and though I'm smarter than before, I'm also willing to trust again. I'm happy alone -- the fact that someone nice wants to be with me is a great bonus.

 

I really appreciate all the advice I've gotten from hanging out here, and I encourage anyone who's struggling to hold out for their own happiness. It seems impossible to be happy without your ex at first, and letting them go feels like a failure. But it's truly the opposite - the more fully you let go, the stronger you feel.

[Firesiren]

ok guys....2years NC!!!! It does help I have been divorced for 3years and it is needed to move on!!! I understand sometimes you have to talk due to kids or work but leave it at that. If you broke up there has to be a reason for it. Good luck to those who are starting out just know you are doing the right thing and contact only stirs the pot,

[martyfarty]

day 27.

 

still trucking along. the summer heat sucks!

[Militia890]

Day 4

 

Lazy day today. Restored a vintage safety razor in a manly pursuit. I wonder how her new relationship is doing. Fantastic I'm sure, the honeymoon stage always is

[Streetbob]

after 3 months of doing relatively ok I have started to become anxious and panicky.

 

Waking up that way and it gets gradually worse. Anybody had this? Should I ask for short term Xanax?? Is it a passing phase??

 

Any advice

 

SB

[ClarityCoast]

No woman is worth medication Streetbob!

 

I can say that! I'm a woman!!!

 

Invite that anxiety in for coffee...feel it...understand it...and then....let it leave.

 

Trying to resist the ups and downs of all this is only going to keep bringing it back....

[Streetbob]

Clarity:

 

Thanks for the reply.

It's strange that I am feeling this way now - after this amount of time. It feels like a delayed reaction.

I am going to speak to the shrink about it at the weekend.

 

I guess Xanax is just the easy escape, and you are right, feeling the emotion does make one stronger. Reading your words were helpful - Thanks!

 

SB

[martyfarty]

Clarity:

 

Thanks for the reply.

It's strange that I am feeling this way now - after this amount of time. It feels like a delayed reaction.

I am going to speak to the shrink about it at the weekend.

 

I guess Xanax is just the easy escape, and you are right, feeling the emotion does make one stronger. Reading your words were helpful - Thanks!

 

SB

 

yeh, i did the whole drinking thing for a week. i'm going cold turkey again starting tomorrow. its not working. makes it worse. but i already knew that and still wanted to try it. go figure.

[Blondie176]

Day 11

 

I am still bursting into tears at random times, i wonder when my tears will dry up?

 

I am anxious too Streetbob, for 11 days now i have had this knot in my tummy, i feel unsettled in my self, which is normal at times like this. I agree with the above comments, invite the anxiety in, let it be there for the time being, its your body reacting to the situation.

 

I read somewhere on here ( wish id noted the posters name) that the only way out is through! Never a truer word spoken.

 

I hope you all have a good day.. xxxx

[Streetbob]

Marty: I'm trying to stay away from the booze because it fuels my apprehension for days after.

 

Blondie: Thanks for the reply. This is like a delayed reaction (3 months). I agree "The only way out is through".

Time does heal....Just be careful of the things that suck you back into the anxiety.

 

SB

[martyfarty]

Marty: I'm trying to stay away from the booze because it fuels my apprehension for days after.

 

Blondie: Thanks for the reply. This is like a delayed reaction (3 months). I agree "The only way out is through".

Time does heal....Just be careful of the things that suck you back into the anxiety.

 

SB

 

oh man, you guys got it on the dot. The anxiety does creep up on us. At fist i didn't know how to handle it, but like you guys said. i welcome it. recognize it. listen to it. and let it pass. i get it most of the time when i wake up. or at specific hours, and days of the week.

[patterned]

its not working. makes it worse.

 

told ya so

[Streetbob]

oh man, you guys got it on the dot. The anxiety does creep up on us. At fist i didn't know how to handle it, but like you guys said. i welcome it. recognize it. listen to it. and let it pass. i get it most of the time when i wake up. or at specific hours, and days of the week.

 

Yeah waking up is the worst. You can feel that black cloud descend.

Mind working overtime - making things up that are not really there. I've been convinced about this, that and the other without ANY evidence!

 

Thinking about trying Hypnotherapy!!

 

Must start a thread see if anybody has had any success with this

 

SB

[rockmyboat]

day 2 again.

we chatted a bit the other day, you initiated. at first i didn't want to, but being the original dumper turned dumpee (there should be a shorter way to say that), i know i gotta put my pride and ego aside. i kept it light and not pathetic at all. at the end, you told me to have a nice day, something i haven't heard you say in three months. pretty petty, but it felt good. continuing NC again. i'll probably send you a text on your birthday which is coming up soon. i just woke up from a dream where i was with you and got emotional and spazzed out again. i was so glad it wasn't real and that i wasn't back in square 1. i must say that keeping you out of my facebook feed and fighting the temptation to look at your page has really helped.

[Streetbob]

Went on a date last night. Worked out really well and she seems very keen for a follow up.

Had a lovely evening.....still woke up this morning thinking about the ex and what she was doing

 

I read an interesting thread on another site (can't remember where) that a certain number of dates/hours spent with others helps erase the memory/attachment to the ex. Not sure!!

 

SB

[Ash Drunbar]

Day 1

 

Hey y'all

 

I'm in! After 4 weeks of unsuccesful on-and-off NC following our Break Up, I have brought the last of her stuff to her work yesterday, with a light-hearted Goodbye Note with it.

 

So I guess this is my first day of NC.

 

Wish Me Luck

[madine]

Month 7(!)

 

Found a college notebook whilst doing some cleasing. Flipped through it see if it was something important and found a message from her on one of the pages is the middle saying she loved me. Over a year since the break-up, almost seven months without any contact and all of a sudden I feel like sh*t again.

[eulalia2]

Day 1

OK, I'm in. It's been NC as far as calling, texting, emailing, talking for 11 days, but facebook has been my downfall. I have my own timeline before I accept &/or initiate contact, but I'm putting myself on record that true NC starts now...

[Scuza]

It's been a while since I've been here. My life has been insanely busy since then, but with school now over, I have a bit more time on my hands. Maybe my progress can give others motivation? Worth a shot.

 

It's been 9 or 10 months since we broke up, I've lost count. I haven't been in contact with her for probably 8 months (lost count on that too).

I did the begging and the pleading, hoping she would come to her senses and realize that things were great when we were together, like you may have done. It was hard not contacting her at first, but it became easier with time. Other girls started to catch my interest. I've started to realize that there were girls before her, girls after her, and there will be more girls in the future. She is not the only girl in the world.

Sometimes things have to end so something else can begin. Do we mourn the end of one chapter, or do we begin reading the next?

 

A few months after things ended with my ex, I had a short fling with another girl I met. I realized that I wasn't ready for anything yet, and ended things with her. Even though we weren't really in a 'relationship', she continued to contact me and try to force her way into my life, even after I told her that things were over between us. She was needy and co-dependent on me, which I found VERY unattractive, killing anything that we had between the two of us. In retrospect, this must've been how I seemed to my ex when we first broke up. It was good for me to be on the other side of things to understand it from a dumper's perspective.

 

With regards to my ex, she is no longer a part of my life. I don't know where she is, how she is, or what she's doing. And that's just the way I like it.

[Sukiyaki]

Day 6

 

I always put others in front of myself, especially my ex. Maybe that was the problem? Idk and at this point it really doesn't matter. I have to get myself back and after I do I think about what I should do next...

[rockmyboat]

day 5.

happy birthday! i'll send you a text later.

must. not. click. your. fb. page.

[broken17]

day 7-wooo

to be perfectly honest if you didn't keep guilt tripping me into replying every single monday i'd be on day 22 so all I can really say is up yours! It's been getting so much easier and you've been off my mind mostly but you keep coming back and making yourself at home. Grr. Never mind, I'm finally coming to the realisation of a few facts:

1. You'd already begun to change and you were turning into a massive * * * * .

2. It's so much better to have ended here then to have carried on until we couldn't anymore and we both got really hurt.

3. I'm so much better off!! I'm spoilt for choice over so many guys who are just the lovliest people and well I've improved so much without you.

 

Rant over.

[Sukiyaki]

Day 7

 

I think I'm fine..though every time I say that I end up crying in the next few hours or few days. It's been a month since the BU and it's been a week of NC. I continuously wonder what you're doing and miss being with you. But now that I think about it, maybe I was just an extra person to you. I don't think your life could be any different without except that you'd be doing things alone now. I would always complement you and so how much of a great person you are because to me (and apparently me alone in these parts) you were. I don't know honestly how you are without me. I have a feeling you're not thinking about me at all and that you don't care. It's very hard to accept. My dad told me he's done with me crying all the time and that he's not doing it anymore. He feels I'm making everyone depressed. I'm trying to get myself together..I don't love me right now and that's what I have to do.

[Louisa]

I'm on day 4 going into day 5 of NC. The whole thing is stupid really, he broke up with me for pushing him away when he was trying to give me a hug...After he spent the entire time being mean ha!

 

He is in the wrong, and yet I know he is waiting for me to go begging back to him, calling, texting and pleading for him to talk to me.

 

I read the 'emotional abusers' thread and it was an eye opener. It actually explains a lot of what I am going through with him - control and power. Getting me to apologise for things that are not my fault, breaking up with me if I don't do what he wants, and ignoring me for days for small things. Every week now I am going through this, despite all the 'I love you's' and the thread is right...these type of people do get worse, it has got worse and it has ruined what we could of had. I am so drained emotionally and tired of stepping on eggshells.

 

I'm sad it's 'over' but I am not apologising for doing nothing wrong. So I guess I've been dumped.