Streetbob
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Hey Karianne. Do you want him back? What has changed from his point of view? How do you feel about breaking NC and being pulled back into a world of emotional turmoil? SB
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My thinking exactly. NC is about the long haul. If reconciliation is on the cards it should be when both parties can come back as different people. 6 months to 1 year minimum
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False alarms, breadcrumbs and smoke signals are a way of cruelly keeping your attention. Create more distance and make sure you are anonymous. SB
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I believe that it is ok to keep some hope....you just have to make it about 5% on the scales 95% should be moving on. You never know what might happen along the line and until something happens - you don't know how you will react. I believe that as hope subsides recovery progresses.
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Just keep on going. Stick with the NC. That's your only option. I would say start dating, moving on and doing stuff for you. Try and switch your mindset from your relationship to something new. Good luck!
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Phew! So size isn't everything after all ???
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China: I don't really know your story....but do you hope to get back with this guy? You mention that you had a lucky escape. I'm just wondering why NC would be such a struggle if you are happy to move on?? I know that the brain and heart are often not in Synch from personal experience. Good luck SB
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I don't know how you can do that - knowing he is on hols with a new GF! That is terrible and I feel for you! I couldn't do it! But this is the point of NC - distance yourself so that you are not constantly being dragged into the cauldron of hurt. Good luck with your NC. I hope you start to feel better soon. SB
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The early stages are the worst. Your mind starts to play tricks on you. It fills in the blanks - the bit's that you don't know or have no control over. I found that because of the emotional stress, I would put a negative spin on everything. As time passes it get's easier. Try some mindfulness meditation, it helps. Stick to your path - there are enough temptations along the way, but you will be glad that you did. SB
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It looks as though you did everything right and you are being pulled closer by her. Maybe she is testing the water or keeping you as an option. How do you feel about it? Would you be set back by meeting her to discuss? If the answer is yes, I would honestly stay away. Stick with the NC and let her make the next move. Was it a messy breakup? Did she give you the "I just don't feel the same anymore" If that was the case, what has changed since then? If there were some tangible issues and they have been addressed - fair enough! Good luck SB
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KAM I honestly believe that social media is your worst enemy after the break up. It feeds the imagination and holds you back from healing. you are right: seeing the ex on FB constitutes contact. I closed facebook about 5 weeks ago and the healing process definitely accelerated after I did that. Good luck SB
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Some people advocate that approach, but personally, I like the idea of having a one time chance to say everything - including goodbye. Doing this acts as an anchor point and a reference (for her) in the future. It also clarifies the situation so that there are no "I thought this" and "I thought that" in the future. It also gives YOU the last word and the moral high ground. Not sending the letter has an air of spite about it.....but then, that is just my opinion. I believe in trying to retain one's integrity and honour, even if you don't really feel like it. Good luck SB
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It's not NC if you are in contact! Have you told her that you are implementing NC and that she should respect your wishes. If you did then you don't reply. If you didn't you should tell her and tell her not to contact you unless she has something constructive to say pertaining to reconciliation. SB
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Went on a date last night. Worked out really well and she seems very keen for a follow up. Had a lovely evening.....still woke up this morning thinking about the ex and what she was doing I read an interesting thread on another site (can't remember where) that a certain number of dates/hours spent with others helps erase the memory/attachment to the ex. Not sure!! SB