THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[MikNomis]

Lift your spirits and hang in there everyone, it really gets better and better don't worry!

[Blondie176]

Lift your spirits and hang in there everyone, it really gets better and better don't worry!

I hope so

 

Day 10 ( take 2)

 

I had the most messed up dream, we were getting intimate, it was seriously hot and steamy and i was loving every second of it..... then in a blink of an eye it was no longer me he was making love to, it was HER.. oh dear lord, i woke in a right state.

 

I am still bursting into tears guys, this is starting to worry me now, when will i start to see some light coming from that tunnel? I feel lost and alone and worried that i wont ever find my way back from this. All this while he makes happy with someone else!

 

I hope you guys are having a better day than i am xxx

[Reminiscence]

Day 2

I'm a little more calm now but if I let my mind wander back too far the anger wells up again. I miss you. I feel so guilty that I didn't respond to you when you said you were having a rough time. Perhaps I should have told you that I'm doing this. Perhaps I should have told you how I felt.

"Don't you want to take a leap of faith? Or become an old man, filled with regret, waiting to die alone!" --Saito, Inception

[Blondie176]

Day 11 ( take 2)

 

We were all best friends with our lost loves. That is the part that makes it so hard and so painful. We need to turn to our friend, but they are the one that hurt us. It simply is sad.

 

 

I saw this quote somewhere else and it pretty much sums up how i feel. Im tired of being tired, tired of being sad, tired of being obsessed with this crap.

 

xxx

[XkatieX]

Day four:

I was doing ok today. until it just popped up on my facebook that he is going out with his friends tonight.

Whilst I just ordered two pizzas to sit and eat by myself... it's 2 for 1 ok!

But yeah feeling a bit sad now

[Taylor10]

I accept the challenge!

 

DAY 1

I am struggling to understand what my goal is in going 30 days with no contact. I constantly question whether i am doing this for myself and to truelly move on or to make him miss me and come back. Last night i said my final words to him. I am skeptical if what i said will give me enough closer to make it all the way through. The more i think about the entire situation the more i have to say to him. I try to keep myself busy but there is only so much you can do in 24 hours. I listen to music only to realize that every song i listen to some how connects to my situation. Still trying to decide if i should walk away or try harder...

[Taylor10]

You may have already been given this advice but i will say it anyways. BLOCK him and all his friends! The same thing happened to me repeatedly until finally i just said enough is enough. its hard to control your curiosity but it will be worth it in the long run.

[lovebre]

Day 3

Haven't heard from him since I didn't answer his call last. I think he knows I'm ignoring him. I'm tired of his games and I wish we could be friends but it seems he can't let go of the "relationship" we had. Maybe we shouldn't be friends....

[jeepman41]

I accept the challenge!

 

DAY 1

I am struggling to understand what my goal is in going 30 days with no contact. I constantly question whether i am doing this for myself and to truelly move on or to make him miss me and come back. Last night i said my final words to him. I am skeptical if what i said will give me enough closer to make it all the way through. The more i think about the entire situation the more i have to say to him. I try to keep myself busy but there is only so much you can do in 24 hours. I listen to music only to realize that every song i listen to some how connects to my situation. Still trying to decide if i should walk away or try harder...

 

 

Do it for the right reasons, do it for yourself. No matter how you feel there is nothing you can do to make that other person come back. They have to want to.

[Reminiscence]

Day 3

 

I am struggling to understand what my goal is in going 30 days with no contact. I constantly question whether i am doing this for myself and to truelly move on or to make him miss me and come back. Last night i said my final words to him. I am skeptical if what i said will give me enough closer to make it all the way through. The more i think about the entire situation the more i have to say to him. I try to keep myself busy but there is only so much you can do in 24 hours. I listen to music only to realize that every song i listen to some how connects to my situation. Still trying to decide if i should walk away or try harder...

 

Same thoughts going through my head but I know that I can't make him change his mind. I wonder what he is thinking...is he mad? Does he know that I need space? Does he think I'm playing mind games? Been two days since he last texted me saying that he was going through a rough time with his medication weaning. If we were still together I would have tried to comfort him. It's eating me alive that I didn't. My conscience is tearing me apart. I hope he isn't upset...then again my evil half wishes he is suffering.

Sometimes I hate being myself because I am capable of great compassion and kindness and at the same time...terrible rage and evil. Part of me wants to let go and move on or if he changed his mind I'd give him another chance. Another part wants to hurt him and give him the cold shoulder, he had his chance it's his loss. But wouldn't that be childish?

But wasn't what he did somewhat selfish and childish too?

If I could I would ask him why and prove him wrong.

[Blondie176]

Day 12 (take 2)

 

This is how far i got last time and then i cracked and i am having to sit on my hands to stop me from calling him again. I hate this!

 

When i first joined up here and told my story, the good folks who replied all pretty much said ''Do Nothing!''..............i agreed but now i am doubting them and myself. Shouldnt i be fighting for my man? All this time ( 12 days- to me is long) i have been silent, what message am i sending him? What does my silence say? Does it say i am angry or i dont care, that i dont want to talk to him.... i feel like my silence might be driving him into her arms more than if i was in contact with him.

 

The last time we spoke he said he still loved me and that he had made a terrible mistake, then why isnt he contacting me and why is he still with her ?

 

Uhhhhh i want out of this crap

 

Hope everyone is doing ok today xxxx

[Taylor10]

DAY 2

 

Having a hard time accepting that it is over. If I think too long I put myself in a bad mood. Today my friend text my ex and was asking about us. I was reading and suggesting what to say as well. I'm not sure if this is considered cheating or not. He responded one time saying "I will always have feelings for her". This is frustrating because he refuses to be with me. I keep thinking of things to say to him and have to force myself not to. It seems to be getting harder. Still need to find the strength to just accept and let go.

[Reminiscence]

Day 4

He texted again last night. Asking if i had a textbook for a class. Didn't respond. It's been a week since I last texted him...I wonder what he's thinking....

[Dazla]

Day...erm 17 or 18.

 

Id like to think it would get better each day, but I feel as though im fighting it off most of the time, and it feels so horrible right now.

 

But in a fashion this is the type of things that bring people back after such a long time, feelings can be dormant one minute, then explode the next, I just hope it happens to her.

[brickheart]

Day 1...

 

Not sure if this even counts as Day 1, given that we spent the night in each other's arms and I only left when I had to go to work. (Yes, it was a terrible idea... It was the sweetest and most terrible time we've ever had.) But in any case, I'm moving forward, so I'm going to count it.

 

I miss him so much already, even though we've totally gone more days than this without talking. It's just the prospect of thinking about him and not talking to him day in, day out... His birthday is in a few months and I'm already thinking about sending a card, oscillating on whether it's worth it, trying to strike the exact right tone... wondering if by then, he'll be in another relationship and his new girl will be like "what is this ****?!" Man. This is hard.

[mbb1]

Day 20... that is so weird to me to even type. 20 days since I last heard from him, ughhh . Never ever thought it would happen, so I guess in a way that is why it happened. It has not gotten easier at all, and the total silence makes it so final. I may never hear from him again. having a really low day. I know it means he is happy and fine and with her. =(

[Taylor10]

DAY 3 - broke no contact

 

I text my ex today. I dont feel entirely bad about doing so because what i had to say was something i wanted and needed him to know. I now feel that i can let it be. Tomorrow i will start over and hopefully be much more successful.

[Reminiscence]

Day 5

I don't know how I figured this out. It seems like every two days he texts me...the realization just popped into my head. Guess that's the way he is always keeping in touch with friends. Or maybe it's something else. Or it could just be wishful thinking on my part. I miss talking to him. I miss seeing him. I want to talk to him about why he thinks what he thinks. But just thinking about how that conversation would go in my head I can feel the anger rising back to the surface.

Perhaps I should have told him I need space. Maybe I should have tried to talk to him when he told me he just wanted to be friends. What if? Why? So many thoughts in my head.

[XkatieX]

Day 7

It's so hard.

I think I'm doing better, but then I think about him and what has happened and it just really really hurts. I just found some pictures on my camera from the holiday we went on last year and now I can't stop crying. I miss him so much.

[Taylor10]

Day 1 Round 2

 

I dont even know what to think at this point. One minute I feel like i will be perfectly fine but the next im crying and cant live without him. I just keep thinking about the person that he used to be. I cant even wrap my head around how much he has changed since the first day i met him. It's just crazy. I know in my mind that i should and need to move on but my heart says otherwise. I wish i knew if he missed me at all, even just a tiny bit. I dont understand how someone that once loved me so much can turn their back on me just like that...

[Blondie176]

I am officially crap at this

 

Arghhhhh i broke the no contact rule..got to day 13 this time and i cracked, i text him something really simple like ' Hi, hope you're well'' uhhhhh i regretted it instantly but it was too late. He then rang me and we chatted for a while about this and that and nothing to do with us! It was soooo good to hear his voice though- i swear he is like a drug for me.

 

On the plus side i didnt cry this time or beg or make an idiot of myself so at least his last memory of me will not be the hysterical mess i was last time.

 

Still doesnt change the fact that he is still with HER and not me.

 

Back to NC for me from tomorrow because i spoke with him again today.

 

 

For anyone thinking about breaking the no contact, DONT! It feels good to interact with them at the time but once that phone goes down you are left feeling like complete crap all over again. Its like picking at a healing ( even if only ever so slightly healing) wound and making it blood red again.. very very painful.

 

xxx

[Blondie176]

Day 1 Round 2

 

I dont even know what to think at this point. One minute I feel like i will be perfectly fine but the next im crying and cant live without him. I just keep thinking about the person that he used to be. I cant even wrap my head around how much he has changed since the first day i met him. It's just crazy. I know in my mind that i should and need to move on but my heart says otherwise. I wish i knew if he missed me at all, even just a tiny bit. I dont understand how someone that once loved me so much can turn their back on me just like that...

 

Hang in there hunni, there is nothing i can say to take that pain away but know you arent alone in this xxxx

[summer77]

Hey Everyone. So this is my first day of no contact. Or it will be. Soon.

 

I've been with my bf four years. First three years were like a dream, we were talking about a family and getting married next summer. A year ago I found out he was having emotional affairs and webcamming and messaging dozens of other girls. I was pregnant then and lost the baby. He wanted another chance, and like a mixed up fool I gave it to him. But he hasn't stopped his behaviour. I have become a wreck. I have spied on him, checked up on him, looked at his phone and computer. I don't even know who I am these days - the old me would NEVER have done this. It got so screwed up that I moved out a few months ago, he begged me to come home, and I said I would if he swore not to continue cheating. He said of course. Then I found him messaging all the same girls again - he claims it wasn't sexual, they were just friends, but I figure whatever it is, it's disrespectful. I confronted him, he got angry and moved out seven weeks ago. We're giving up our apartment, but he won't tell me if he wants to be in a relationship or not. I've told him I can't be friends or have contact with him if we split and this makes him so mad. Today he told me he hated the situation, that he couldn't see how our relationship could work but that he couldn't handle the thought of losing me, that he wants us to be close friends but not have the stresses of our relationship. I have prostrated myself before him, offered all kinds of solutions, but he keeps saying he doesn't know how to make it work, only he can't lose me...

 

Well I guess he just lost me.

 

In one hour I'm going to message him that this is over and goodbye.

 

Then I have to hold my resolve.

 

He has been my best friend, then my boyfriend, six years in total. This is not going to be easy. Wish me well guys.

[Taylor10]

I dont know if this will make you feel any better but you are doing the right thing by walking away. He says he cant stand to lose you but it seems as though he cant lose all of these other girls either. You shouldnt need to give him any chances at all. You will go back in forth in your mind debating if you are doing the right thing. Just remember that although it hurts now, you will be much better off because you deserve better. At least that is what i am beginning to learn myself.

[summer77]

Thank you Taylor10. I guess I realised something similar when I hit rock bottom - he has never even met half these girls, and yet they are apparently so important to him that in effect he chooses them over me?

Good for you keeping strong too. I hope you're doing ok.