brickheart
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Everything posted by brickheart
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I'd had five and a half months of NC. Now cursing myself for sending what I thought was a good email, but it's definitely made me more anxious than was worth it. UGH.
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Daniel, you're such a purist... I only count actual contact as breaking NC. If I counted looking at his profile, I'd have to start over all the time, instead of being at 6 weeks...
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Thanks for your encouragement. I guess I'm halfway to 3 months already! I'm not at all planning to break NC. Stay the course, that's my plan!
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It's been six weeks... I'm so miserable... terrified that I'm going to keep hoping for reconciliation forever... I thought I was doing better, but I'm so depressed. I keep having dreams about seeing my ex. And in the daytime, I think about him pretty much constantly. I fight with thoughts that I'm never going to find anyone better. It's not that I view him as the "perfect guy," but he made me happy. I really need to get a grip. I really hope I'm not going to be one of those people pining after my ex in a year.
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Honestly, online dating doesn't have to be a "last resort." It's just another social network. Glad to hear you're feeling better after her birthday. Definitely don't contact her, though! You don't need to "clear the air." Your dignity is doing perfectly well!
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Day 30 Wow, I almost completed the challenge! Whoo. Today is definitely a lot easier than Day 1. Though I still woke up thinking about him - even had a sex dream (lame!) - I can tell I've made a lot of progress. I'm hoping to start counting in months after this, rather than days. The other night, I was thinking about how I would feel if my ex contacted me, and honestly, I don't think I'm ready. And I probably won't be for a while. So really, I'm grateful for the total radio silence. Thanks, X.
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Whatever you think! Obviously you're welcome to make your own choices, but it's just my own opinion. My own ex's birthday was less than a week ago, and I was less than a month into NC and just wanted to concentrate on healing so I kept going. I had wished him a preemptive happy birthday before we went into NC, though, so I'm hoping he knows it wasn't to be petty or make a "point" but just to keep on concentrating on myself.
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Neil, I wish you hadn't wished her a happy birthday... but in any case I'd go with option 1... I'm on Day 29. I feel like utter crap. He's on his dating profile constantly. I feel like I did in the beginning. Apparently he's on the "prowl." I need to get over this illusion that he and I are perfect for each other.
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Day 25. Survived his birthday (yesterday). I think I can survive anything. After this challenge, I've decided to stop counting how many days it's been and just go by (approximate) weeks and months.
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Hey, don't rush into reconciliation for sure. You've just showed your love because you were genuinely concerned for his well-being. Try not to get drawn into a deep conversation with your ex about the relationship. Just focus on how he's doing and ascertain that he's well (the whole point of why you contacted him in the first place) and make sure he knows that you care about his health. Then think about whether maybe you want to stick with LC or NIC instead of NC. You're right, sometimes NC can be a little extreme in some situations, for some relationshipswhere two people still love each other.
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I'm going to be relieved when it passes, though, I admit.
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If there's a chance of reconciliation, I think she'll understand that you need to focus on healing right now, and not her. Don't contact her on her birthday this year. Of course you think about her! I think about my ex all the time, too. He's pretty much all I think about, even when I'm at work or the gym or in social situations. Just because we're thinking about them doesn't mean NC isn't a good idea.
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
brickheart replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
This resonates with me so much. Stealing it for my healing process! -
Yes... yes it is. My ex's birthday is in about two weeks, too. But NC is NC. Just keep on focusing on yourself.
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Whatever happens, try not to bond with someone over your mentally unstable exes... That's a recipe for disaster.
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Skheehee, I hope I can be as strong as you are right now. I want to be where you are in 19 days! Thanks for the inspiration. It's not that I'll ever forget him, and I feel sure he won't forget me, but I'm in command of my own life. I really like the first mate analogy. : )
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Yesterday went by really quickly. I'm determined to make it this time. Please help me, everyone!
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Blondie, I'm so jealous! Every time my ex texts me, I keep texting back... Breadcrumbs are so annoying! I'm back to day 1... again... and I had the last word, but that's not a good place for a dumpee to be in.
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Day 3. Geez. Had a dream about him last night. Still angry I broke no contact for such a stupid reason, giving into his breadcrumbs.
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Why are you going?!
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CE, it's okay. We all make mistakes. Just yesterday I responded to some TERRIBLE breadcrumbs. The point of this thread is that you can always go back to Day 1, then get to Day 2, and just keep going. Don't let it get you down. Seriously! I do have to agree, though, you did let her play you like a piano. I'm sorry you dated someone that manipulative, and that you're letting her be in your life still. Can you just write her a formal note cutting her off, asking her to forward anything important to your new address, and otherwise asking her to stay out of your life? That way she knows, and if she contacts you otherwise, you'll know not to respond.
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Well, the main thing I need to do right now is not just break off contact (that's turning out to be the easy part - it wasn't ME that contacted HIM first, but the other way around), but stop looking at his profile. How do I stop that? If you count that as "contact," I'm contacting him every day and this wouldn't count as day 2 at all.
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Wow, Njoy, congrats on almost actually completing the challenge! You almost never see that around here... Day 2.
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Day 1... again. I'm sure he means well, but my ex keeps feeding my breadcrumbs.