summer77

That's really helpful to read, Blondie176. Thanks. I'm on Day 2 now. I messaged him last night to say I was setting him free. I knew he was out with his family, but he answered in the early hours asking just 'Is that it?' I have not replied. No word since. I've deleted him from Facebook and everything, but I confess I looked at his Twitter feed earlier. He posted a song lyric shortly after he must have messaged me, but I can't work out the relevance, if there is one, and I'm working hard not to spend any time analysing it. I feel a sense of relief, in a way - the drawn-out heartache of the past six months, and particularly the past few weeks, has been awful. But as soon as I start to feel lighter and happier, I remember things we did, the way he smelled, all the plans we had. I'm going to get out of the house and try to distract myself for a while.

Thank you Taylor10. I guess I realised something similar when I hit rock bottom - he has never even met half these girls, and yet they are apparently so important to him that in effect he chooses them over me? Good for you keeping strong too. I hope you're doing ok.

Hey Everyone. So this is my first day of no contact. Or it will be. Soon. I've been with my bf four years. First three years were like a dream, we were talking about a family and getting married next summer. A year ago I found out he was having emotional affairs and webcamming and messaging dozens of other girls. I was pregnant then and lost the baby. He wanted another chance, and like a mixed up fool I gave it to him. But he hasn't stopped his behaviour. I have become a wreck. I have spied on him, checked up on him, looked at his phone and computer. I don't even know who I am these days - the old me would NEVER have done this. It got so screwed up that I moved out a few months ago, he begged me to come home, and I said I would if he swore not to continue cheating. He said of course. Then I found him messaging all the same girls again - he claims it wasn't sexual, they were just friends, but I figure whatever it is, it's disrespectful. I confronted him, he got angry and moved out seven weeks ago. We're giving up our apartment, but he won't tell me if he wants to be in a relationship or not. I've told him I can't be friends or have contact with him if we split and this makes him so mad. Today he told me he hated the situation, that he couldn't see how our relationship could work but that he couldn't handle the thought of losing me, that he wants us to be close friends but not have the stresses of our relationship. I have prostrated myself before him, offered all kinds of solutions, but he keeps saying he doesn't know how to make it work, only he can't lose me... Well I guess he just lost me. In one hour I'm going to message him that this is over and goodbye. Then I have to hold my resolve. He has been my best friend, then my boyfriend, six years in total. This is not going to be easy. Wish me well guys.